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Landing page advice / opinions

by Coolguydudeman
12 replies
Hello, I am building a landing page and was hoping for some feedback,

Here
#advice #landing #opinions #page
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    "Is An Unsightly Smile Holding You Back?!?!

    Yes, appearance matters. And people are unfairly judging you because of your imperfect teeth. But you can FINALLY become free from the insecurity of an ugly smile. Show the world who you really are - unshackled from the fear of what people think about you. The key to your beautiful smile is just a click away."
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    • Profile picture of the author Coolguydudeman
      That sounds a lot more powerful that what I have got, thank you. Is it generally a good idea to get that personal?
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    Yes.

    That's just off the top of my head.

    But what you've got doesn't persuade me to do anything. It's bland, boring and not stirring anything up inside of me.

    If you want people to take action, you've gotta HIT them with the kind of triggers that get underneath their skin.

    Will the copy I jotted down make prospects take action? Don't know. But at least it's making a statement and potentially hitting prospects where they have a charge.

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author Coolguydudeman
      Very good advise thank you.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
        Put the green checks BEFORE the conditions. The way they're formatted now is ineffective.

        But the big problem with your squeeze page is the offer.

        Who will actually think a free report is going to fix any of the conditions listed?

        Alex
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        • Profile picture of the author Coolguydudeman
          Hi Alex,

          Thanks for the tip with the ticks,

          The idea behind the report is to give them an informative guide on what the dental practice can do to transform their smile, it puts them into a email sequence using infusionsoft sending them a series of emails on ways to transform their smile, pricing plans and case studies etc. They get a free consultation worth £65 as well.
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          • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
            Originally Posted by Coolguydudeman View Post

            Hi Alex,

            Thanks for the tip with the ticks,

            The idea behind the report is to give them an informative guide on what the dental practice can do to transform their smile, it puts them into a email sequence using infusionsoft sending them a series of emails on ways to transform their smile, pricing plans and case studies etc. They get a free consultation worth £65 as well.
            Yep, I figured that was the purpose.

            But you're trying to get folks to optin in the first place right? In my opinion, "The only guide that you'll need to transform your smile" doesn't motivate.

            Be specific. Something along this line would be better:

            "Discover the 5 painless, hassle-free ways to transform your smile..."

            Alex
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            • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
              Sell the report man. And also make the CTA button bigger and bolder. Keep in mind that your hero shot is also not really drawing attention to what you're offering, but instead, hogging all the attention for herself.
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  • Profile picture of the author candymai
    In my eye, the site is just right and eye catching.
    But... isn't there lots of space for something else? I mean clickable parts for some ads or something benefit your a little more. Oh yeah, and GIF image make it more visualized (especially around the model)
    Do your best, friend!
    Just my 2 cent.
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    • Profile picture of the author Coolguydudeman
      Thanks for the tips, I've added some before and after photos and changed some of the copy. What do you guys think now?
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    The good people tend to be upset about what others think.

    I would hit that emotion with something like -

    Don't Ever Let Them Say This About YOU

    "In the name of all that is holy, did you see how rotten THOSE teeth are?"


    I did a campaign for dentists and surprisingly although the teeth were causing embarrassment the £25,000 deals was closed when the dentist very tactfully mentioned "Oh blimey, your breath is worse than you could ever imagine it could kill people dead at 100 yards - you MUST get those teeth mended"


    Steve


    P.S. One reason people have bad teeth is the expense of fixing them. It's their big objection. If you can you should handle it at the speed of light. Before they click off mumbling "I can't afford it." Make sure they believe they can.
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  • Profile picture of the author KevinW
    A lot of shock value with those nasty teeth. Not sure if that is good or bad.

    I would put the optin form above the fold.
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