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how can we make this cool

by edman
28 replies

Hi guys


not sure if this is the appropriate place but here goes...


We are trying to revamp a brand to make it cool, attractive and that converts


We are stuck on the main headline and elevator pitch, was hoping to get some help here


in a nutshell


- Helps you become a confident and a much more capable communicator in both your personal and professional life.
You can learn how to communicate your message so that you build stronger relationships, influence people, get people take action and are motivated.... basically boost confidence and get anything you want through proper communication




The program is broken down as follows


1. Defining Who You Are
2: Get rid of the negatives <<< these are habits, feelings , beliefs and generally your association
3: How to Empower the positives
4: The main communication program << This teaches you how to become effective with some darren brown techniques using words, your body language, how you say things.



THE USP is that we work with the confidence firts by helping you to become comfortable with yourself, your values and what you stand for... And then work with you on the techniques to help you get what you want using effective communication


What we solve?


People with low self-esteem usually struggle with communication, making it difficult for them to develop strong relationships and further lowering their self-esteem. Even if confidence is a state of mind, when you are unable to communicate your message effectively you end up going back in your shell because you are not equipped to express yourself in the way that people listen, take action or fully get you.

Without effective communication, in extreme, it can lead to frustration and irrational behaviour or cause you to hide back in your shell.



This is the problem we solve.. we help people boost confidence, build stronger relationships in their personal lives and professional lives.


HELP REQUIRED:



How on earth do we sum it up in a headline or elevator pitch so that it is relevant, makes sense and most importantly have people stop in their tracks to buy



Thanks guys... This is too close to me that anything I put together doesnt seem right.
#cool #make
  • Profile picture of the author SandyP
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  • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
    How to Win Friends and Influence People.

    Has an almost 100 years of historical proof it is a winning headline/concept.

    Your product or solution isn't about them becoming more self confident, it is about HOW they are going to use their new found confidence in all aspects and areas of their life.

    Who will they communicate BETTER too? Why?

    gjabiz
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    • Profile picture of the author edman
      Thanks a million..

      How to Win Friends and Influence People. << this is truly an amazing title, part of what got me stuck

      >>> HOW they are going to use their new found confidence in all aspects and areas of their life.

      That statement does really clarify things a lot good catch

      thanks


      Originally Posted by gjabiz View Post

      How to Win Friends and Influence People.

      Has an almost 100 years of historical proof it is a winning headline/concept.

      Your product or solution isn't about them becoming more self confident, it is about HOW they are going to use their new found confidence in all aspects and areas of their life.

      Who will they communicate BETTER too? Why?

      gjabiz
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    • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
      Banned
      Originally Posted by gjabiz View Post

      How to Win Friends and Influence People.

      Has an almost 100 years of historical proof it is a winning headline/concept.

      Your product or solution isn't about them becoming more self confident, it is about HOW they are going to use their new found confidence in all aspects and areas of their life.

      Who will they communicate BETTER too? Why?

      gjabiz
      THIS is what I call a winning headline -
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    HTWFAIP - what a great idea.

    Just to take a slightly contrarian view.

    Which might be worth a "test" (this could useful for the more "negative, nothing works" type of audience)

    This Is Why You Can't (name the key emotional problem or problems).

    Start with the "Why" and then give the "How To" solution.


    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author edman
      Thanks for the input

      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      HTWFAIP - what a great idea.

      Just to take a slightly contrarian view.

      Which might be worth a "test" (this could useful for the more "negative, nothing works" type of audience)

      This Is Why You Can't (name the key emotional problem or problems).

      Start with the "Why" and then give the "How To" solution.


      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author edman
    This one is also a good title from oprah.com

    Get What You Want by Improving Your Communication Skills
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  • Profile picture of the author SandyP
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    • Profile picture of the author edman
      doing some more digging I just saw this

      How to Develop Self-Confidence And Influence People By Public Speaking by Dale Carnegie

      Time tested methods of persuasion

      more related to public speaking .though

      I think this is just the best way to go.. thanks gjabiz
      -------------------------

      Your product or solution isn't about them becoming more self confident, it is about HOW they are going to use their new found confidence in all aspects and areas of their life.

      ---------------
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    • Profile picture of the author edman
      been digging online and saw a few good catch phrases that can help shape the message

      Be liked, Be respected and be valued...
      express yourself to success

      just need to reflect on it and see what we come up with as a final option
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      • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
        What is your programme?

        One to One workshops or Group workshops.

        Or is it books, DVDs etc.

        Dan
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        • Profile picture of the author edman
          Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

          What is your programme?

          One to One workshops or Group workshops.

          Or is it books, DVDs etc.

          Dan
          Thanks Dan...

          It's an online video program delivered through a membership platform, with a combination of group workshops, community and analysis tools

          Edward
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          • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
            Ok thanks.

            I think if you can adapt your programme for school children and develop a workshop that can be licensed then you could have something that schools are going to become increasingly interested in.

            Schools are tasked with providing children with well rounded skills to enable them to function fully in society.

            A lot of money is going to be diverted into schools having the ability to provide children with so called soft skills on top of Maths and English.

            If you know anyone with children at Primary School then you may be aware that the American 'Show and Tell' is becoming increasingly common in The UK to provide children with the confidence to stand and clearly make their point. ie Communicate.

            This is what employers want. Well rounded people who can think for themselves plus communicate clearly and confidently.

            It is what State schools have not been providing for 50 years and Michael Gove was redressing this. The new Education Minister is continuing his reforms.

            I think you should investigate along my line of thinking.

            Dan
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            • Profile picture of the author edman
              Thanks for the tip something to really think on for sure.

              great info

              This is something we have been teaching our kids... how to express themselves. This helps them get their message across instead of becoming nervous and frustrated that no one gets them

              Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

              Ok thanks.

              I think if you can adapt your programme for school children and develop a workshop that can be licensed then you could have something that schools are going to become increasingly interested in.

              Schools are tasked with providing children with well rounded skills to enable them to function fully in society.

              A lot of money is going to be diverted into schools having the ability to provide children with so called soft skills on top of Maths and English.

              If you know anyone with children at Primary School then you may be aware that the American 'Show and Tell' is becoming increasingly common in The UK to provide children with the confidence to stand and clearly make their point. ie Communicate.

              This is what employers want. Well rounded people who can think for themselves plus communicate clearly and confidently.

              It is what State schools have not been providing for 50 years and Michael Gove was redressing this. The new Education Minister is continuing his reforms.

              I think you should investigate along my line of thinking.

              Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author IDoTheLegWork
    Here's a couple I dug out of your text. The first is a shocker and
    I imagine risky.

    "How to be cool and get ahead -- even if you're a dork"

    "How to build confidence and boost relationships -- and still be yourself"
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    ..and you WILL contribute a verse.
    Indifference is the enemy that must be conquered.
    Appeal to the crowd by addressing the person.

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    • Profile picture of the author edman
      Thanks for this.

      These are some really good titles.. the first one is something I may throw in as a banner.

      Lovely thanks... It's always god to seek help I appreciate it guys


      Originally Posted by IDoTheLegWork View Post

      Here's a couple I dug out of your text. The first is a shocker and
      I imagine risky.

      "How to be cool and get ahead -- even if you're a dork"

      "How to build confidence and boost relationships -- and still be yourself"
      Signature
      Don't Google it... ASK Edward
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      • Profile picture of the author John Byrne
        SECRETS Shy People Use - When They Want
        Strangers to Smile and Listen
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        • Profile picture of the author edman
          Originally Posted by John Byrne View Post

          SECRETS Shy People Use - When They Want
          Strangers to Smile and Listen
          just SOLID!!! It is soft and to the point, but can easily stop someone in their tracks
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    These might generate some ideas...

    https://www.udemy.com/courses/search...=communication

    But I'd opt for being more bold, daring and creative.
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    • Profile picture of the author edman
      Thank you... great source

      Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

      These might generate some ideas...

      https://www.udemy.com/courses/search...=communication

      But I'd opt for being more bold, daring and creative.
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    • Profile picture of the author edman
      Already saw a golden nugget

      Compelling Communication: Reaching Yes
      Convince any audience - boss, investor, even your two year old! - to say "YES," ethically and effectively.


      Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

      These might generate some ideas...

      https://www.udemy.com/courses/search...=communication

      But I'd opt for being more bold, daring and creative.
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      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        You seem to be all over the place
        without clear direction where you are heading.

        Lets get back to basics.

        Most business is based on solving a very clear problem
        of a group of people who are prepared to pay for it to be fixed.

        Can we agree on this point?

        Can we agree the next step, after that agreement, is to identify
        who this group most likely is?

        Then what is their biggest problem.

        Why so?

        Why haven't they been able to resolve it?

        What's wrong with current methods?

        By not having the problem resolved,
        what are the current affects and future implications?

        Right now you are firing off a message to a fictional target.

        No message is going to hit it,
        therefore lets get back to basics of WHO this group is
        then come up with a on target message.

        Best,
        Doctor E. Vile
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        • Profile picture of the author edman
          Hi Doc,

          Thanks for bringing things back

          Here is where e are now

          ---------------
          Your product or solution isn't about them becoming more self confident, it is about HOW they are going to use their new found confidence in all aspects and areas of their life.
          ------------------

          So this got us thinking of the target market

          1: Are they people who have low confidence and we grow their confidence and help them to use this new found confidence by learning how to communicate effectively

          2: OR are they people who want to get ahead in life and we help them get what they want with effective communication and in the process we start with the confidence part and making sure they are comfortable with whom they are

          Now these are very close matches and both targets will benefit from this program

          The end result is that we want people to be effective communicators and ethically reach a YES with people, but not only that, we want them to be able to boost their confidence and build stronger relationships in their personal and professional lives.

          People generally want to speak and be heard, they want to motivate their team better, they don't want to go home and start recounting what just happened and then say to themselves... "I should have said this", or "told him this way" etc... and again, when they are put in a similar situation, they still are not able to say what they mean effectively

          The current solutions usually focus on the strategies to communicate and influence,... people love a quick fix, but the real solution has to start from within... understanding yourself, being happy with who you are, understanding what you stand for and against, and other related issues which in the long run helps you boost self confidence and give you better self control over irrational emotions

          and if you don't solve it from the roots, you only become a trickster applying strategies like little tricks you just learnt without allowing it to become a full part of you. You want people to be in harmony with the new you and not make some of then feel that something weird just happened as you apply your strategies.


          .... answering your questions helped clarify a few things, and still we have a few more questions that arised as a result

          so for now comments and views most welcome

          I am still yet to answer how we speak to the two groups mentioned above





          Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

          You seem to be all over the place
          without clear direction where you are heading.

          Lets get back to basics.

          Most business is based on solving a very clear problem
          of a group of people who are prepared to pay for it to be fixed.

          Can we agree on this point?

          Can we agree the next step, after that agreement, is to identify
          who this group most likely is?

          Then what is their biggest problem.

          Why so?

          Why haven't they been able to resolve it?

          What's wrong with current methods?

          By not having the problem resolved,
          what are the current affects and future implications?

          Right now you are firing off a message to a fictional target.

          No message is going to hit it,
          therefore lets get back to basics of WHO this group is
          then come up with a on target message.

          Best,
          Doctor E. Vile
          Signature
          Don't Google it... ASK Edward
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          • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
            Doesn't pass the 'what do you do' test Ed.

            Imagine you're at a social gathering and a human resource manager
            asks you, what you do?...

            You say...

            "You know how difficult it's to stop top talent leaving?

            Well I solve this problem."

            She's probably going to ask you how you do it...
            right?

            So you answer...

            "We fix the problem by training all team members to get their point across so they
            feel appreciated. Research shows those who don't feel heard get dissatisfied
            and go looking for a place where they will. It's their communication problem at fault."
            END

            I don't know if that is a real problem or not.
            The point was if it was a real problem for her,
            then that would be a natural flow to a conversation
            which would keep her attention.

            Now imagine you having a conversation
            where you can clearly state a problem and
            concisely provide a solution.

            If you can't then you got more work to do.

            Best,
            Doctor E. Vile
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  • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
    I'd just work with a copywriter because the quality of your first effort suggests you have a steep mountain to climb on your own to get this to a place where it sells.

    --- Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author Entrecon
    "Think on Your Feet - The art of thinking and speaking under pressure"

    Decent book - Ken Wydro | Think on Your Feet | The Art of Thinking and Speaking Under Pressure

    I think this touches on some of what you are covering.
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  • Profile picture of the author Work1099
    It's always worth asking "What is the benefit of this benefit?"

    As you repeat the process, you'll invariably arrive at much larger and larger benefits that tend to be more about the large changes in their life that they want to see happen ... rather than the nitty gritty specific benefits that you tend to start with (such as confidence).

    The first reply to this thread summarized it well, in my opinion.

    Also, for communication, it strikes me that a powerful appeal will be appealing to "role performance." Uncover what roles these people perform, or want to perform well in their lives (husband, wife, friend, business owner, and so on). And appeal to how they can be better at those as a better communicator. Of course, keep in mind, the roles they perform should be based on how they view it in their mind ... not your observation of the roles they seem to be performing.
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