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--->Would You Critique My Capture Page?

by JeffMitchell
15 replies
Warriors,
I am looking for some valuable input on this capture page please give me your honest opinion...No hold's barred.


Anything that you see I could improve on just let me know. The warriors are the best of best so I value your opinion.

Here is the link -------------> Www.OnlineMLMMentors.Com Bring Leadership To Your LivingRoom

Thanks GUys.

Jeff Mitchell
#&gtwould #>would #capture #critique #page
  • Profile picture of the author JeffMitchell
    Not A Single Oppinion from Anyone...?
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    HELP NEEDED! My Mother And Her Brother have been taking care of the mother with the help of Hospice. He just had a Massive Heart Attack while taking a short vacation. My mother had to go to Florida from Indiana to be with her brother and is not financially stable from being off work to be with grandma. Any Help Would Be Appreciated. http://www.gofundme.com/vg5kt4c

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  • Profile picture of the author RGallowitz
    Have you tested your optin rate? What is it?
    Because at the moment your optin form is below the fold, but in some cases it doesn't actually lower conversions. If your conversions aren't good, then consider moving everything above the fold (especially the form)

    Cheers
    Reinhardt
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  • Profile picture of the author cma01
    Hi Jeff,

    Here are a few things I noticed.

    * Video Beginning - When you start recording, hit the start and then sit and wait for a little bit before you start talking. Then you can edit out the first part where people see you hitting record.

    * Speed - I'd slow down how fast you're talking a little bit.

    * Focus - You keep glancing off to your left. I'm not an expert in on camera presentation, but I would try to keep your focus right on the lens. Maybe tape a picture of your significant other or a friend and pretend you are talking directly to them.

    About at 30 seconds in, you start getting more conversational which I think is more engaging, but I think it needs . . . a better flow so that people can easily follow each concept.

    Did you write out a script and follow it? If not, do a transcript of what you have down on the video and see if the sequence of each statement is how you want it.

    As for the layout, I like it. In Firefox there is a space between the bottom of your content area and the footer which I don't think is supposed to be there.
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    "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Ames
    Jeff... I would try to get the opt-in box above the fold so people don't have to scroll down to get to it.
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    Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

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  • Profile picture of the author Dr Livingston
    I would bold every other bullet point to make them pop.
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  • Profile picture of the author Troy_Phillips
    Run a two column template . Video on left/ form on right . above fold

    Text below with another form.
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  • Profile picture of the author AndyK
    You should work the look & feel of your page
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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
      Can I ask where you got the squeeze page template from? Did you buy or have made for you?
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      "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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    • Profile picture of the author Lance K
      Turn the "secrets" you're going to reveal into either a PDF report or email "mini course" and give it an appealing name.

      Change the wording of the submit button. "Submit Query" is lackluster to say the least. Check out what Eric Grahm (The Conversion Doctor) has to say in his blog post about the ultimate submit button.

      And I agree about putting your opt-in box "above the fold" if you can. If not, try using a red arrow graphic on the side that keeps pointing down the page.
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      "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."
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      • Profile picture of the author JeffMitchell
        I had the page designed by a fellow warrior...I give him the setup and I added the copy to the site..

        Jeff Mitchell.
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        HELP NEEDED! My Mother And Her Brother have been taking care of the mother with the help of Hospice. He just had a Massive Heart Attack while taking a short vacation. My mother had to go to Florida from Indiana to be with her brother and is not financially stable from being off work to be with grandma. Any Help Would Be Appreciated. http://www.gofundme.com/vg5kt4c

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  • Profile picture of the author TrigMan
    Reminds me of MLM lead system pro stuff. Whether it is or not, you need to fundamentally brand yourself as the expert. I'd recommend going for a WOW factor rather than your backyard. WOW could be better sound and better background, with sharper dress, i.e. business professional. My opinion only, and it ultimately depends upon the audience you wish to capture.

    Luck to you!
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    • Profile picture of the author Ashley Gable
      Agreed, bring everything up more.

      Also, bullet number 4 is kinda out of place. I mean I know it is part of it, but with a squeeze page you are trying to 'sell' one specific thing. I would test it with it out.

      You just want people on your list, you dont need to tell them everything about what you can offer them.

      Just one thing to get them to optin.
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  • Profile picture of the author TyBrown
    When I have squeeze pages with a video I'll put an opt in directly to the right and then one at the bottom of the page. The one on the right usually has an opt in percentage about 13-15 times better than the one at the bottom. I don't know how they would be with just one opt in at the bottom but I'm guessing you'd have better percentages if you had two opt ins forms.
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  • Profile picture of the author dubhlinn
    I think you have a great page in honesty. Well done only critique would be to slow down a little and focus more on the camera.
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    The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
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