Give me a review...

by Joseph Then 6 replies
Hi guys, need you to review my newest creation.

This is a membership website that offers training to making money in Birthday Party business.

I'm a birthday party entertainer for over 8-10 years so I guess I'm pretty qualified to write on this topic. The target market could cover anyone who is interested in making money over the weekends, since birthday parties are held mainly in the weekends. The market to me is big because all work-at-home moms will benefit from this work.

In my membership site, I have 4 videos and 4 audios covering different topics as a starter. The graphics are ready. The salesletter will be ready by next week. Once the salesletter is ready, it's going to be launched.

What I hope to get is:
1) Your honest review of the initial membership page
2) Your testimonial, if you really like it
3) Your recommendations to make it better

If you are a WAHM, that's even better as that should be my one of my primary target.

This is a big project for me and I don't really want to go wrong on this so an honest review will be great.

Do visit the website: http://www.birthdaypartyexperts.com

Do PM me if you are interested, and I'll give you the member's access to the website.
#main internet marketing discussion forum #give #review
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Then
    Can anyone help?
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    • Profile picture of the author kelvin yeo
      Hi Joseph:

      Sent you a PM earlier. Let me know one way or the other...
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      This sig under construction...

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      • Profile picture of the author MoonLoh
        Hi Joseph,

        Have taken a look at your website, it's look good and I agree that it's a big project. But I just wonder how about those WAMH with little understanding of english? Anyway to help those chinese educated WAMH?
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        Moon Loh
        Share my passion, findings, ideas, recommendations, learning curve towards a success Internet Marketing Entrepreneur @ http://MoonLoh.com
        Visit my lovely 2 years old daughter @ http://CoolestBabyMoon.com

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  • Profile picture of the author bigpicturerick
    Hi Joseph,

    I'll check out your site (I have young kids ) and give a review and testimonial .

    Would you do the same for my site ?
    It's also based on membership sites.

    Thanks, Rick Falls
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    I'm living my ideal life by empowering others.
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    • Profile picture of the author jhongren
      Hi Joseph,

      Some of my inputs:
      1. You will need social proof (testimonials)

      2. Make your sub-heading more prominent (increase the font size of the red wordings)

      3. I am thinking your main headline can be more powerful (possibly you can engage a pro copy writer if this business matters alot. =) A budget of 400 to 800 dollars may suffice.)

      4. For this statement above your first headline "Want a simple way to make extra cash in your spare time?" Personally I feel it is targeted at anyone (the general public) and this means marketing at no one. If you are looking at people who want to be in this business, I am sure the phrasing can be better.

      Hope these are helpful. Good luck! =)

      My 2 cents,
      John
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