Can I get your honest feedback?

by tomerc
11 replies
Hi Warriors,
First of all, I want to THANK YOU for being such a great advisers. I LOVE this forum

I just finished my eBook, and I'd like to get your honest feedback on my sales pitch.
THIS IS NOT PERFECT, SINCE I'M NEW TO SALES PITCHES.

Now I have another question.
Should I send traffic to this pre-sell page:
Dropshipping is irrelevant!

And then give them a link to the sales pitch (Alternative Sources For Products To Sell On eBay)
Or should I send the traffic directly to the sales pitch?


Please give me your feedback about design, colors, text, creative and price.



Thank you so much!
#feedback #honest
  • Profile picture of the author bobcath
    Tomer

    I personally probably wouldn't buy from this set up, I dont say that to be nasty but for constructive feedback.

    After reading both pages I'm confused as to whether you are the publisher of this or the page you forward me to is the publisher (in which case your landing page almost becomes irrelevant)

    If you decide to keep the teaser page you sort out a little grammar (but DROPSHIPPING IS IRRELEVANT ANYMORE.)

    The layout is ok for me, simple and not distracting, lets hear what other think...

    Good luck
    Bobby


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  • Profile picture of the author tomerc
    Thanks for your feedback.
    How would you recommend me to improve it?
    What's the problem with the quoted sentence (my proofreader fixed my grammar mistakes, do I have more?)


    Do you have any other comments you can share with me?

    You wrote that you personally wouldn't buy it- why and how can I convince people who think as you do?


    Thank you so much!
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  • Profile picture of the author tomerc
    anyone else?
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    • Profile picture of the author Bryan Toder
      Hmmm. The initial page, "Dropshipping is irrelevant!" is a nightmare to read. It lacks formatting and it doesn't lead the eyes anywhere.

      If I found the page, I would click-off in a matter of seconds. You'll need to re-format it to make it a "good read", if you know what I mean.
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      ~ Bryan

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      • Profile picture of the author tomerc
        Originally Posted by Bryan Toder View Post

        Hmmm. The initial page, "Dropshipping is irrelevant!" is a nightmare to read. It lacks formatting and it doesn't lead the eyes anywhere.

        If I found the page, I would click-off in a matter of seconds. You'll need to re-format it to make it a "good read", if you know what I mean.
        Thank you so much for replying!
        Do you have more specific instructions? Like "Do-this-don't-do-that" style..

        Actually I disn't understand what do you mean by "good read" or "re-format"... And how can I "lead your eyes"?

        Thank you so much!
        Tomer.
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  • Profile picture of the author Eric X Vignola
    the easiest thing u can do is "box it in" right now my eye goes from way left to way right. look at newspaper columns, see how all the words are crammed into tiny columns. it helps people follow the article and stay on the page. so you need to put some kind of borders on this thing and shrink it down.

    also you have way too many colors. stick with red and black, and blue for links since people expect to be able to click blue links. get the green out.

    also just because words are large does not make the more important or special. the further into your "sales" page i got it seemed the bigger the words were, plus everything was either bolded or a different color so there was no way for me to know what was important.

    format the page so there is a left align. not everything has to be centered. shrink your font size, not all the way but a bit. line up your bullet points so they are easier to read. and for the love of _ please get rid of the green color. hope that helps!
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    • Profile picture of the author Bryan Toder
      Thanks, Eric. (You saved me some time.) :p

      Tomer, "leading the eyes" means where do you want me to look?

      Do you ever see sites where you can't figure out if they want you to read a sales letter or click on one of many links, or click on an Adwords ad, or...?

      With correct formatting, you can "lead" your readers to do what you want them to do. (Follow Eric's advice, too.)
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      ~ Bryan

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  • Profile picture of the author tomerc
    Hi!
    Thank you SO MUCH for your help. I really appreciate it.
    I will get rid of the green

    How can I (technically) "box the page in"?

    Do you think a video will be useful? What about the color of the BG and the "box" BG color? Any recommendations? Do you any comments about the price?


    Thanks!
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    • Profile picture of the author Bryan Toder
      You could easily get an inexpensive website template and use that.
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      ~ Bryan

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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Ames
    The focus of your message should be "Finding eBay Products to Sell" A nice headline with that message.. ie : "Solved: Now you can Find a Never Ending Source of Products to Sell on eBay" needs work... but you get the idea.

    "Dropshipping is irrelevant" should be a subhead, but I would spiff it up a bit.
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    Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

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  • Profile picture of the author tomerc
    Great!
    Thank you so much.
    I'd like to get more advises and tips.


    Thank you so much!
    T.
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