A Good Joke Will Make You Money and Lots Of It

127 replies
Its interesting to see the response from old list. What I found with mine is as long as you provide them good things and don't bombard them with offers every day they will remain active and buy from you. Of course that is just common sense and no big surprise to you. So what does this have to do using jokes to make money? Let me tell you a little story.

Yesterday I made a special offer to folks that have been with me 4 years or more and some only just a few days and both groups bought. It wasn't as many as I hoped for but it was a good shake of the lambs tail. However sales would have been higher if I had done one critical thing to my e-Mail.

One of the ways I keep my list happy is to throw in a joke 5 or 6 times a month. Seems the majority of folks really enjoy jokes; especially the ones that are about kids. It never fails when I have a "kid joke" I always here back from my list telling me how they liked it and sometimes sending their own kid joke back to me. However, once in a while an "Old Grump" will unsubscribe and tell me to stick to business and not jokes.

When you use the jokes avoid X rated, racial, specific political names and specific religious jokes.

My open rate is always higher when my subject line starts with "New Joke and..." Then I write my offer, tips, etc. No joke until the end of the e-Mail and I always put the offer link again after the joke ends. That way your readers don't have to scroll up to find the buy link again. Well guess who forgot to use my best producing subject/headline in my e-Mail yesterday. Yep it was me.

Talk about shooting myself in the butt. What a BDA that makes me.

Go ahead and fess up and tell us how you shot yourself in the butt.

Oh Yeah! Before I forget here's a quick kids joke for you.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
Ken
The Old Geezer
#good #joke #lots #make #money
  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    Hahahaha, gotta love the kid's response. Anyway Ken, you make a good point. On all my lists, I'm not afraid to inject my personality into it and part of my personality is to kid around sometimes. Most of my list appreciates it because I get e-mails all the time that tell me they like my newsletters because they know there's a real person writing them and they're not afraid to be "real".

    Some people don't like it and that's ok, that just means my list isn't for them. I make more sales this way because people aren't dumb. They can tell when you're out just to purely make money off of them. They can tell when you really care about them. And one great way to connect with your list is to show that you have a sense of humor.

    RoD
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    "Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out."
    - Jim Rohn
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Hi Ken,

    Connecting with your list on a personal level is something that I wish more marketers would do. That's not to say it would work for every marketer, but they should at least test it.

    As to how I have shot myself in the foot with my marketing efforts? Well, no specific examples come to mind, but let's just say that both of my feet look like Swiss cheese.

    PRINCIPAL: Do you know why I called you into the office today Johnny?

    JOHNNY: No, sir.

    PRINCIPAL: Well, it looks like you were cheating on your test.

    JOHNNY: No, I wasn't! Honest!

    PRINICPAL: You had the exact same answers as Billy, all except for one.

    JOHNNY: See! That proves I wasn't cheating.

    PRINCIPAL: Not really. On question #11 Billy wrote "I don't know" and you wrote "I don't know either."
    All the best,
    Michael
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    "Ich bin en fuego!"
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Showing personality is great, but there's a fine line between 'being real' and TMI.

      Tell me a joke, tell me a story (especially if it relates to the topic of the email), just don't tell things you should keep private.

      I've been on business lists where I learned more about the intricacies of toilet training than I did about the subject the list was supposedly about. If someone wants a Mommy Blog, start a Mommy Blog, and tell people who care.

      My BDA moment?

      You know how people are skeptical about the "I sent the wrong link" emails? Try having to send three of them in one day, to the same list. Fortunately, I had enough relationship that by the end of the day I had more sympathy than anything else.

      If nothing else, it hammered home the practice of sending all emails to myself first, then clicking the link I actually sent...
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Michael my folks are going to love that one. I'm going to send that bad boy out today to make up for yesterday's boo-boo.

    Rod you nailed it with allowing your personality to shine through. Making yourself "real" to your list or anybody else for that matter; can make your life so more enjoyable.

    Ken
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  • Profile picture of the author Yadira Barbosa
    I know that because I'm on your list, and as soon as I receive an email from you I open it ASAP, of course I read you offer first.

    Yesterday I already resend your offer to one of my members (on a membership site I own) because she need your service, and she order immediately.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Originally Posted by Yadira Barbosa View Post

      I know that because I'm on your list, and as soon as I receive an email from you I open it ASAP, of course I read you offer first.

      Yesterday I already resend your offer to one of my members (on a membership site I own) because she need your service, and she order immediately.
      Thanks for sending on my e-Mail and the sale. You have just made a valid point in this thread.

      Basically any one can use a joke or humor to liven up a person's life and make their day a little better. And going along with that I just found another one that will put a smile on your face:

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  • Profile picture of the author alamest
    It is a wonderful idea to share jokes and some of personal story as they like it.

    One question, from where do you find this kind of jokes, do you know a place where we can get it or do you make yourself. What suggestion you will give to those who does not know how to joke..and do you have any kind of format email to share jokes with our offers
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Originally Posted by alamest View Post

      It is a wonderful idea to share jokes and some of personal story as they like it.

      One question, from where do you find this kind of jokes, do you know a place where we can get it or do you make yourself. What suggestion you will give to those who does not know how to joke..and do you have any kind of format email to share jokes with our offers
      I'm flattered you asked but to tell the truth, almost all of my jokes come from family members, friends and yes even my customers send them to me. I have one client who sends 2 or 3 a day.

      As far as the personal story, I simply take real life situations which happen to me or my family and turn them into a small real story. I don't put a lot of thought into it, as I want it to be as spontaneous as possible. I try to use bad things as well as good things when I tell a story and then when I send them out my clients know I'm sharing a part of my life with them.

      John McCabe mentioned in his post (#4) above you can share TMI. "To Much Information" especially when your list has a "business" relationship. I absolutely agree with him and it is a line you can cross very easily, without meaning to.

      Suggestion for not knowing how to joke, that's a big order there. But I figure it this way, if something I heard or read makes me smile, chuckle or just plain makes me bust out laughing then I will likely pass it on to family, friends and clients.

      As far as formatting a joke in with your offers, as I mentioned in the original OP I normally drop it in at the bottom of the offer. But the best tip of all I can give you is to just give the joke because of the laugh you might give someone else; just when they really need it.

      Ken
      The Old Geezeer
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Good advice for sure, Ken. When I think about whose emails I open first it's often the ones from folks that aren't afraid of letting their personality shine. I've used humor from the beginning and it's served me well. Personal anecdotes also work well, with subscribers replying with their own similar story.

    Besides staying away from politics and religion, the only other caution I'd add is to be careful with self-deprecating humor. Don't get me wrong, it can be wonderfuly effective, but you need to be careful that you don't undermine your own authority and expertise when using it.

    Q. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
    A. Dam!
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post


      Q. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
      A. Dam!
      Swiped!...:p
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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?
    A: He was looking for Pooh...
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    Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
    Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Lovboa that is one that is too rough even for me. As we have stated through out this thread you have to be careful what side your business clients see of you. Dark humor can backfire in a heartbeat.

    Remember: Discretion is the better part of valor.

    Ken
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Maybe you can use this one:

    A salesman rang a doorbell and it was answered by a 5-year old kid with a lit cigar in one hand and an open beer in the other. The salesman says, "Is your mother home, sonny?" And the kid says, "What do you think, mister?"
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Now that one I can use. I'm laughing right now.

    Ken
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  • Profile picture of the author Randall Magwood
    I guess that's why Dan Kennedy starts all of his public speaking events with a joke. Seems to work for him... his product keeps selling out at the end of his appearance.
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      Jokes are cool, but I tend to be better off with the contextual comedy. My sense of humor doesn't seem to work in print with formula jokes. But then, it may be the material.

      My favorite joke, ever: "3 Klingons, a Ferengi and a nun walk into a bar, carrying bowling balls. The bartender looks up and says, 'Is this some kind of a joke?'"

      I guess that explains a lot.


      Paul
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      • Profile picture of the author tpw
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        Jokes are cool, but I tend to be better off with the contextual comedy. My sense of humor doesn't seem to work in print with formula jokes. But then, it may be the material.

        My favorite joke, ever: "3 Klingons, a Ferengi and a nun walk into a bar, carrying bowling balls. The bartender looks up and says, 'Is this some kind of a joke?'"

        I guess that explains a lot.


        Paul

        With jokes like that, you ought to stick to storytelling Paul. :p
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        Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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      • Profile picture of the author Formal Shorts
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        Jokes are cool, but I tend to be better off with the contextual comedy. My sense of humor doesn't seem to work in print with formula jokes. But then, it may be the material.

        My favorite joke, ever: "3 Klingons, a Ferengi and a nun walk into a bar, carrying bowling balls. The bartender looks up and says, 'Is this some kind of a joke?'"

        I guess that explains a lot.


        Paul
        I believe I heard that one on tv last week... Must have been on Keeping up with the Cardassians
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      • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        My favorite joke, ever: "3 Klingons, a Ferengi and a nun walk into a bar, carrying bowling balls. The bartender looks up and says, 'Is this some kind of a joke?'"
        You lost me with the Klingons. That's an inside joke, my favorite kind . I'm also (obviously) partial to funny pictures and my audiences react positively. I'm not sure if that is an endorsement of my comedic abilities or an indictment on the people that read what I say...
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      • Profile picture of the author Gail_Curran
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        Jokes are cool, but I tend to be better off with the contextual comedy. My sense of humor doesn't seem to work in print with formula jokes. But then, it may be the material.
        It's not the material - possibly the delivery?



        .
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        • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Gail_Curran View Post

          It's not the material - possibly the delivery?

          Classic joke - YouTube


          .
          Now that was hilarious (and finally a video I could watch on my crappy Internet connection).
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Paul,

    Your right it is the material.

    Ken
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  • Profile picture of the author johnbro
    I have been on Ken's list for a long time now. Early on I noticed that he is about the only one injecting 'jokes' into promotion emails. But it did make me open the emails everytime, and many a times I did pick up the offers.

    Thanks Ken for the combining the jokes with great offers... deadly combination!
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  • Profile picture of the author Brian Tayler
    In person, I smile a lot and if I joke it's generally towards myself. It's a defensive mechanism back from grade-school. If I made fun of myself for being chubby... then no one else would. I found over the years this quality makes people more comfortable with me. I do try and use this in my e-mails as well... but I do feel like it comes off best in person.
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  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    Ken,
    Your right it is the material.
    Hmmm. Or the perspective. Which is probably the same thing. If the audience doesn't 'get' the perspective, they won't 'get' the joke.

    [sigh]

    Bill,
    With jokes like that, you ought to stick to storytelling Paul.
    See, to me, that IS a story. Maybe I've been reading too many Tweets lately...

    Shorty,
    I believe I heard that one on tv last week... Must have been on Keeping up with the Cardassians
    Now that was just rude!


    Paul
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Shorty,
    Quote:
    I believe I heard that one on tv last week... Must have been on Keeping up with the Cardassians
    Now that was just rude!


    Paul

    Paul,

    This one cracked me up. That is the kind of comeback that shouldn't be hid under the Mulberry bush. Let It Shine, Let It Shine.

    Another secret to joke telling is to be able to suck up to the very talented and intelligent "Powers To Be. :rolleyes:" As shown in this post.

    Anonymous
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      Ken,
      Another secret to joke telling is to be able to suck up to the very talented and intelligent "Powers To Be.
      Perhaps. Sadly, people never learn that lesson until they've achieved sufficient wisdom to no longer need it.


      Paul
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      • Profile picture of the author Formal Shorts
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        Ken,Perhaps. Sadly, people never learn that lesson until they've achieved sufficient wisdom to no longer need it.


        Paul
        I completely agree. Brilliant point, well made. Nice one Paul
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      • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        Ken,Perhaps. Sadly, people never learn that lesson until they've achieved sufficient wisdom to no longer need it.


        Paul
        Confusion said "Wisdom is like passing gas in a crowded elevator. You leave something behind."

        Once again your words spring aloud to all who leave hot wind to conjure tears from the eyes of the beholder.

        Joe Robinson:I'm not sure if that is an endorsement of my comedic abilities or an indictment on the people that read what I say...
        Joe you are very observant on this Friday. Swamp People catch gators and critters and often can't read the pictures. So my guess is your comedic abilities may be in question.

        Ken
        aka: Confusion
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  • Profile picture of the author madhushan
    Wow... Now... that is what I call innovation.
    Innovation always pays off... Doesn't it
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  • Profile picture of the author marketingabc
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      I completely agree. Brilliant point, well made. Nice one Paul
      Forget it, Shorty. Doesn't work when it's obvious.

      Confusion said "Wisdom is like passing gas in a crowded elevator. You leave something behind."
      Yeah, but Confusion was an old fart. Gastric wisdom comes easily to the elderly.


      Paul
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      • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
        Gail,
        It's not the material - possibly the delivery?
        Brilliant. That's what I need...

        ... a laugh track!

        Now, how do I insert that into a plain-text newsletter?


        Paul

        PS: Consider yourself told, ma'am.
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        • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

          Now, how do I insert that into a plain-text newsletter?
          I'll tell you for $97, or you can buy my service where I personally call each subscriber when they open your email and laugh hysterically the whole time.

          ^^That's an IM joke!

          *Runs away*
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          • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
            I'll tell you for $97, or you can buy my service where I personally call each subscriber when they open your email and laugh hysterically the whole time.
            You've clearly never seen my typical newsletter. They average 6 or 8 pages of text. You'd be working for ... well... a lot less than you'd make collecting returnable cans.


            Paul

            PS: That ignores, of course, the fact that plain-text emails don't allow that kind of tracking. But I suppose you'll sell me THAT secret for a mere $1497? How many hours of video? And can I get a review copy?
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            • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
              Banned
              Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

              You've clearly never seen my typical newsletter. They average 6 or 8 pages of text. You'd be working for ... well... a lot less than you'd make collecting returnable cans.


              Paul
              Hello? Outsource of course! You won't even know it's not me until the complaints start rolling in. And what makes you think I'm not reading your newsletters? Besides the fact that you are a Yankee fan?

              ^^That was a tired sports joke.

              Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

              PS: That ignores, of course, the fact that plain-text emails don't allow that kind of tracking. But I suppose you'll sell me THAT secret for a mere $1497?
              Nope. I'll sell it to you for $296.52 and a 6 pack of Airheads!

              (As an aside, did you guys know we can't do strikethroughs on here? Really messed up my bit!)

              Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

              How many hours of video? And can I get a review copy?
              2, but I don't do video products so I'm just going to mail you a copy of Ocean's 11. After using my product you'll appreciate the way that Andy Garcia's character feels! I gave out the review copy already:

              Joe is sooper dooper awesome i made 15987 in 2 seconds because of his laugh tracks

              ^^Those were tired IM jokes and an amusing movie reference.
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              • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
                Banned
                Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

                As an aside, did you guys know we can't do strikethroughs on here? Really messed up my bit!
                I know. This is the forum's single biggest problem, and some people aren't even aware of it. I nearly didn't stay, when I first realized. I've been bemoaning this for nearly 4 years, now. I could be so much more effective with strikethroughs.
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                • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
                  Banned
                  Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

                  How much is the OTO to Ocean's Thirteen?
                  You are a smart marketer Mr. Myers, you figured out my sales funnel! Ocean's 13 is just $7, and then I'll be charging $997 to get Ocean's 12 and complete the set! Want in ?

                  ^^That's Joe continuing the tired IM jokes because he quickly ran out of material.

                  Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

                  I know. This is the forum's single biggest problem, and some people aren't even aware of it. I nearly didn't stay, when I first realized. I've been bemoaning this for nearly 4 years, now. I could be so much more effective with strikethroughs.
                  Did anyone hear something?
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        • Profile picture of the author tpw
          Originally Posted by Gail_Curran View Post

          It's not the material - possibly the delivery?

          Classic joke - YouTube


          .
          Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

          Gail,Brilliant. That's what I need...

          ... a laugh track!

          Now, how do I insert that into a plain-text newsletter?


          Paul

          PS: Consider yourself told, ma'am.

          Gail: Consider the world told too, ma'am...

          Paul mentioned you in his newsletter today.
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          Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
          Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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  • Profile picture of the author Big Al
    Cool thread... learned lots and laughed a bit too.

    I know a lot of folk think speaking to your list and letting your personality (or lack of) shine through is easy but it definitely takes practise.

    And editing...
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  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    I'm just going to mail you a copy of Ocean's 11.
    How much is the OTO to Ocean's Thirteen?
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  • Profile picture of the author Dann Vicker
    Can't stop laughing on the "dog" joke..Made my day
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    Looking for high quality solo ad traffic? 200-2000 clicks available/day. Testimonials here. PM me

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  • Profile picture of the author sriram rajan
    Thanks man , good to know one more email marketing tactic and you got a good joke too.. You can go out probably make a WSO on it with all your jokes, although the issue might be every one wil be bored of the same ones . LOL . Thanks for sharing the info.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Originally Posted by sriram rajan View Post

      Thanks man , good to know one more email marketing tactic and you got a good joke too.. You can go out probably make a WSO on it with all your jokes, although the issue might be every one wil be bored of the same ones . LOL . Thanks for sharing the info.
      Glad to have been some service and I actually came up with an idea for one of my sites. Laughter reaches across all divides and quickly closes the gap in the internet marketing world.

      Someone earlier mentioned that they find humor, when worked into the copy, works more effectively for them. I agree to an extent if you can work it in without destroying the flow of your copy. I know of several offers I made that did a belly flop when I tried to work humor into the actual offer. Humor was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

      You guys enjoy your weekend. That includes Paul and Joe Robinson. I think I'll start calling them the Bobbsey Twins.

      Ken
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      • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
        3 bartenders walk into a Klingon.

        Klingon: HoH cho hoch!

        Bartender 3: (turning to other 2) Any of you guys know how to make that one?

        (Rim shot)
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  • Profile picture of the author DannyFikes
    Nice! Love this thread!

    Jokes work great in emails for getting people to keep reading them. I think they work best though when they're worked into the copy naturally, without separating them or labeling them as a joke.

    I believe that's one of the key reasons Kern rose to fame so fast. Smart guy, but his humor really disarmed people and broke the ice. I think it makes people feel comfortable and makes them more inclined to like you. And 'liking' is a huge factor in persuasion (one of Cialdini's 6).
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  • Profile picture of the author sammib01
    Great stuff, so here is my turn:

    Two guys at a big party meet.
    One says to the other "I am looking for my wife" the other sayes "I am looking for my wife too" The first asks "what does your wife look like" the second replies "tall, slim, nice body, long beautiful legs, long shining hair, deep blue eyes and a great tan, and yours?" the first replies "forget mine lets look for yours".

    Hope you like it...
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    Ok ... well, I heard this one on Comedy Channel the other day

    A man called the Police station and said, "I think my wife is dead"?
    Dispatcher said "What makes you think your wife is dead"?
    Man said ... "I don't know. The sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up"

    [hey, it was funny when I heard it]
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    • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
      Banned
      So, a cop pulls over a guy for wearing his seatbelt and tells the citizen that his captain gave him a 100 dollar bill to give to the 100th person he sees wearing their seat belt. The citizen looks a little confused, but of course, accepts the note, and proceeds to leave. The officer asks, " So, if you don't mind my asking, what are you going to spend the money on?" To a reply of, " yes, i do mind your asking, and frankly, i don't think its any of your business." The officer of course is stunned, but , as he goes to leave, the drivers objects. "If you must know, I'll probably spend it on getting my drivers license." The cop is taken back, as the passenger says, " Oh don't listen to him, he's drunk." Shortly thereafter, a knocking comes from the trunk, and a muffled voice says, " are we over the border yet?
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Back when I was a young buck in Minnesota, I dated a 'fast girl' for the first time. We were steaming up the windows at a parking spot near one of the lakes, and I politely asked her if we should go further. She eagerly said yes.

        Man, that was a wild date. Every time I asked that girl if we should go further, she said yes.

        Finally, the sun started to come up. She looked around and asked where we were.

        "Des Moines..."

        :p
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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Harris
        Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

        So, a cop pulls over a guy for wearing his seatbelt and tells the citizen that his captain gave him a 100 dollar bill to give to the 100th person he sees wearing their seat belt. The citizen looks a little confused, but of course, accepts the note, and proceeds to leave. The officer asks, " So, if you don't mind my asking, what are you going to spend the money on?" To a reply of, " yes, i do mind your asking, and frankly, i don't think its any of your business." The officer of course is stunned, but , as he goes to leave, the drivers objects. "If you must know, I'll probably spend it on getting my drivers license." The cop is taken back, as the passenger says, " Oh don't listen to him, he's drunk." Shortly thereafter, a knocking comes from the trunk, and a muffled voice says, " are we over the border yet?
        Hey Ken,

        Thanks for the great post, this is definitely one powerful marketing strategy
        that I will be looking to implement..

        How I understand it works, is the humor creates a good feeling
        in your subscriber while they read your email and they associate that feeling to you..

        But not just to you, also to the offer you are putting in front of them..

        Over time your method also "trains" your subscribers to go in a state of "curiosity"
        as well, when they see your email in their inbox..

        So when they open your email and view your offer, they are in a curious, happy,
        laughing and lighthearted kind of state of mind..

        The right kind of state for making a sale, as people are more inclined to "go with the flow" when feeling like this..

        It comes as no surprise, you have some subscribers that have been on your list for 4 years, using this method..

        I say this because I was reading a "report" recently, that was saying the average life of a subscriber was 3-6 months..

        Joe's joke above is my pick of the great selection of laughs this post has generated..

        For what it's worth here's my 2 cents worth..

        "My wife tells me I never listen to her, At least I think that's what she says"
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Gail: Consider the world told too, ma'am...

    Paul mentioned you in his newsletter today.
    Darn Bill you could have mentioned I was mentioned in Paul's newsletter
    today. Equal time is needed for "Old Gezzers".
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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    From Paul's Newsletter:



    Headline: Is this some kind of a joke?

    "My Favorite Joke"
    ================

    So, there I was, minding my own business, reading a forum, and
    things got crazy. Whodathunkit?

    It started when Ken "Komedy King" Leatherman mentioned how much
    humor can add to the value of a message. Of course, I had to
    jump in. You guys know how much I hate gratuitous levity.

    Right? You knew that, didn't you?

    Anyway, one thing led to another, and I told him my favorite
    joke. Apparently, from the responses, I need to stick with
    contextual humor, story-telling, and the extemporaneous. (That
    last one is Latin for "making it up as you go along.")

    Just to rub it in, Gail Curran decided to create a video of the
    joke, to give me a few pointers on delivery.

    Paul's Classic Joke - YouTube

    It's all of 15 seconds long. That little dude got more laughs
    with my joke than I ever have...

    {drat}{grrr}{sigh}
    Signature
    Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
    Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Thanks Bill. I was going to post that but I felt I would be

    You know how modest I am.

    The Old Geezer
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    • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

      Thanks Bill. I was going to post that but I felt I would be

      You know how modest I am.

      The Old Geezer
      It's why your thread came back to life. Everyone got Paul's newsletter and I had to come back to watch the video and see what else was going on.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
    "two cannibals were eating a clown and one turned to the other and said "does this taste funny to you?" "
    Signature

    nothing to see here.

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  • Profile picture of the author nouvellevie
    I follow this guy on twitter.

    Selah @aThumper many good jokes everyday
    Signature

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    http://gordsolo.com

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  • Profile picture of the author vgvetter
    A horse walks into a bar...

    The bartender says .... "Why the long face?"
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  • Profile picture of the author michaeljcheney
    Cool idea. I think also you need to mix and match things a little to keep people on their toes. If you only put jokes in emails with "New joke" in the title then they may ignore other emails whereas if you put jokes interspersed in all your emails you'll get higher open rates across the board when people learn this and you won;t have to shoehorn a "joke theme" into one of your promotions. :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author IMWarrior0
    big fat man sees gorgeous woman the double of Liz Taylor he goes over and says: i'd love to drink champagne from your slipper
    she says: well you'll soon be pist you fat **** I take a twelve
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    I didn't wake this thread up, but since I had some fun with it I'm going to drop in another joke.


    THE WIFE FROM HELL

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

    The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

    Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

    As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
    'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

    The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

    As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
    'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

    The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

    The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

    The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

    And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

    The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

    (I love this part)


    'Only when he's been drinking .

    Hope this will help someone have a little brighter day.

    Ken

    The Old Geezer
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  • Profile picture of the author Kal Sallam
    A text joke?

    After (M)onday & (T)uesday even the week says WTF?
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Originally Posted by Kal Sallam View Post

      A text joke?

      After (M)onday & (T)uesday even the week says WTF?
      Kal,

      I have no idea what your trying to say :confused:. Guess I didn't have enough caffeine this morning.

      Ken
      Signature

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      • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
        Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

        Kal,

        I have no idea what your trying to say :confused:. Guess I didn't have enough caffeine this morning.

        Ken
        WTF

        Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.. I liked it.
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        • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
          Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

          Well, as long as we're on police jokes, this guy has the best.

          Gabriel Iglesias- Faking Arrest for Your Family
          Joe,

          Barb and I got a big kick out of it and I'm going to send it out to my family and my list. Thanks for posting it here.

          Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

          WTF

          Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.. I liked it.
          Thanks for that RedShifted I finally got it. I'm blaming it on my old age, that's my stroy and I'm sticking with it.

          Ken


          The Old Geezer
          Signature

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          • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
            Banned
            Three bodies get taken in to the morgue one night, and each has a big grin on their faces.

            The undertaker says to the policeman, "Strange to have three at the same time, and all with such big grins".

            The policeman replies, "Well, the first one died having sex with his mistress. The second won the lottery and died of alcoholic poisoning. The third one is a little unusual; that's Paddy from Dublin and he got struck by a bolt of lightning. The daft bugger thought he was having his picture taken".
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            • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
              Banned
              I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment.

              I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.
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              • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
                Banned
                One day an old man, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

                Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned man and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?" "Ten years," replied the amazed man. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh pack of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, "that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

                "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years." Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted. "Fantastic!"

                At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

                With tears in his eyes, the man fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"
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                • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                  I don't intend to make any money with this joke, but I do find it quite funny. If you're an avid fisherman and hunter, you may too.

                  Here's my joke...

                  A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift.

                  She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir", she says, "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

                  The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

                  She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

                  He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $20.00".

                  The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

                  He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman has a sudden bout of gas and lets one rip. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

                  The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

                  She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"

                  "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."

                  Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    Well, as long as we're on police jokes, this guy has the best.

    Gabriel Iglesias- Faking Arrest for Your Family
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    Aaaand that's enough internet for one day Horny Devil .
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    • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

      Aaaand that's enough internet for one day Horny Devil .
      Yup. That's my chuckle break over.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Okay, since this thread is still showing up, here's another oldie but goodie.

    A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any grapes?"
    The bartender looks at him and says, "Nah, we don't serve grapes here."
    The next day the duck comes back to the bar and says, "Got any grapes?"
    And again, the bartender looks at him and says, "I told you yesterday, we don't serve grapes here."
    The following day the duck shows up again and says, "Got any grapes?"
    The bartender looks at him, obviously a bit frustrated and says, "Look, duck. This is a bar. We serve whiskey and beer and cheap salty snacks. We don't serve grapes. If you ever come in here again asking for grapes, I'll nail your dopey beak to the bar."
    The next day the duck comes in and says, "Got any nails?"
    The bartender gets a puzzled look on his face and says, "Nails? No we don't have any nails."
    The duck smiles and says, "Good. "Got any grapes?"
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  • Profile picture of the author Lightlysalted
    Great way to boost your open rate, jokes are always a risk as what some find funny others find offensive, but I agree that making a personal connection is essential, might even give it a go myself!
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  • Profile picture of the author gcbmark20
    Yeah jokes relax people and make them feel that you are not just "Hard Nosed Business Man" trying to force your way into their wallet.

    Besides, I think it's good for us marketers too as it allows us to look at what we do in a fresh and fun way without being too serious all the time.

    If you listen to the great "Richard Branson" he is always mentioning that his employees are willing to work for his company at a less salary simply because he is more fun to work for as he always treats his workforce to get together holidays and fun weekend trips etc.

    I think it always pays to be human.

    Well done for bringing this up Ken hope you continue with your success doing things this way!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Cheryl Low
    I can't resist!! Here's my joke.

    An old woman took a very limp parrot into a vet's office. As she placed her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, but Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you
    haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog and took it out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, your parrot is definitely 100% certifiably ... dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the old lady.

    The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$500!," she cried, "$500 just to tell me that my bird is dead!?" The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been $20, but what with the Lab report and the Cat scan..."
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    • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Cheryl Low View Post

      The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$500!," she cried, "$500 just to tell me that my bird is dead!?" The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been $20, but what with the Lab report and the Cat scan..."
      lol...now that was funny
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  • Profile picture of the author Anoopchawla
    I am planning to send a joke to my list pretty soon, will be back with the stats.
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  • Profile picture of the author Spin17
    I liked an idea
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    You guys have made my day. :

    There were some very good ones here. Just so you know I'm grabbing them all and putting them in my joke folder. I now have more than 400 jokes in my file.

    Thanks everybody for all the jokes. I'm sitting here grinning ear to ear.

    Ken

    The Old Geezer
    Signature

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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
      Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

      You guys have made my day. :

      There were some very good ones here. Just so you know I'm grabbing them all and putting them in my joke folder. I now have more than 400 jokes in my file.

      Thanks everybody for all the jokes. I'm sitting here grinning ear to ear.

      Ken

      The Old Geezer
      Just more proof that telling jokes can pay off!
      Ken told the first one and now he has enough jokes to hold off on his research for awhile...lol

      Tom Sawyer(ie.Ken Leatherman) made painting the fence look like so much fun that we all wanted to do it and we did! ;-)

      Just saying.
      Have a Great Day!
      Michael
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  • So glad I clicked on this thread.

    I decided to send Michael's joke (Post #3) and I've had loads of positive reply's.

    I might send jokes more often, great tip OP.
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  • Profile picture of the author luckystepho
    I've just spend ages reading this thread!! Okay here's my joke...

    Did you hear about the masochist who loved getting up at four o'clock in the morning to have a cold shower... so he didn't!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    I couldn't tell a joke if you put the words in my mouth!

    Enjoy:

    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her students while they were drawing.
    She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to
    one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

    The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
    Without stopping, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Okay, one more then I must go...lol

    Why is it when a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment,
    but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute?

    Have a Great Day!
    Michael
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  • When doing face-2-face sales, we were told and still to this day...to build rapport and crack a few jokes with the prospect, because when they're laughing.. they're buying, apparently laughter is a buying signal I've been told.
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  • Profile picture of the author vgvetter
    The parents were concerned that their four year old son had never spoken.

    One morning at breakfast he open his mouth and says .. "The damn oatmeal is lumpy!"

    Amazed, his mother ..." how come its taken you so long to speak?"

    The boy .."up 'til now everything's been great!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Originally Posted by vgvetter View Post

      The parents were concerned that their four year old son had never spoken.

      One morning at breakfast he open his mouth and says .. "The damn oatmeal is lumpy!"

      Amazed, his mother ..." how come its taken you so long to speak?"

      The boy .."up 'til now everything's been great!"
      Now there is a kid that doesn't his words. .

      Think I'll hire him to make my post here.

      Ken

      The Old Geezer
      Signature

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  • Hi Ken, I really appreciate your sharing on how to send newsletter with an highest open rate.
    I never thought about jokes, but this is a good way to start any conversation, and why not an email newsletter? It's great!

    In fact in Italy one of the best jokes network is sending email like yours, and it works very well, because they usually send CPA links inside them. And I could just dream how much cash they get each and every day!

    Thanks so much and see you soon,
    Alessandro Zamboni
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Awh, what the heck...lol

    Back in November it was my 49th birthday and I wasn`t feeling too good that morning.

    I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,"Happy Birthday!", and
    probably have a present for me.

    As it turned out, she didn`t even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday.

    I thought, well, that`s wives for you, the children will remember...The children came
    in to breakfast and didn`t say a word.

    So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent..

    As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss, Happy Birthday".
    And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.

    I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it`s such a beautiful
    day outside, and it`s your birthday, let`s go to lunch, just you and me."

    I said, "That`s the greatest thing I`ve heard all day, let`s go!"

    We went to lunch we didn`t go where we normally go; instead we went out to a
    private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

    On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it`s such a beautiful day, we don`t
    need to go back to the office, do we?"

    I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let`s go to my apartment."

    After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don`t mind, I think I`ll go into
    the bedroom.

    "Sure!" I replied.

    She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday
    cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

    And I just sat there...on the couch...naked. :p Just/Kidding/Around

    Have a Great Day!
    Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Michael,

    You know for a young whipper snapper you can be pretty darn funny. If you tell anyone I said that I'll deny it and swear on your grave stone 10 times.

    Ken

    The Old Geezer
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    • Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

      Michael,

      You know for a young whipper snapper you can be pretty darn funny. If you tell anyone I said that I'll deny it and swear on your grave stone 10 times.

      Ken

      The Old Geezer
      LOL this made me laugh.
      Signature
      -----------------------------------------


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      • Profile picture of the author PCH
        I love these jokes, and I love telling jokes too.

        In my offline business, I took to sending people a daily joke around lunchtime, along with a quick special offer.

        The jokes were always in good taste, and never about anything contentious imo (steering clear of the usual stuff !). Some people just loved it and some would even call up on the phone to chat. But others just didn't have it in them to laugh, - and would ask to be taken off the list.

        You can't please all the people all the time it seems. And anyway, there'll always be people who'd rather strive to be miserable than risk smiling. Their staff might see them - lol, and what would happen to their reputations then?
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  • Profile picture of the author seoersong
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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  • Profile picture of the author joomseller09
    You must be kidding me. Attach jokes and draw people's attention to read your newsletter? Hmm I really really doubt that
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  • Profile picture of the author jdkesler
    Q: What does a sadist do to a masochist?
    A: Nothing

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  • Profile picture of the author Karen Connell
    Thanks for the laugh!


    A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning, by a loud pounding on the door.

    The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

    "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

    "Who was that?" asked his wife.

    "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

    "Did you help him?" she asks.

    "No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"

    "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?"

    "I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

    The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.

    He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

    "Yes" comes back the answer.

    "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband.

    "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

    "Where are you?" asks the husband.

    "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk
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  • Hi Ken!
    This is really cool. Thanks for sharing this kid joke too. A little bit of laughter makes any place healthy. So updating clients with a smile on their face is a very useful advise.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    I'm surprised that Bill has not yet brought out his "10,000 comedians are out of work, and you're trying to be funny?" bit yet.
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  • Profile picture of the author kevinmartinjr
    Definitely agree. Good content such as jokes will engage your audience more into reading and they will gain interest.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Blond joke alert:

    There are two blonds standing on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, "Hey, how do you get to the other side of the river?"

    The gal responds, "Silly! You're already on the other side of the river, geez!"
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Blonde jokes?

      I have one.


      A blonde is driving her SUV down a road in the middle of a desert.

      While driving she spots another blonde trying to row a canoe across the desert floor.

      As soon as she sees it she slams on her brakes, puts the SUV in park, opens the door and screams,

      "You know what?! It's blondes like you that give all of us other blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come over there and kick your a**!!"

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Here we go again...lol

    One more... Rated PG-13

    The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

    The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied "from the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received.

    But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back.

    "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

    The Captain calmly replied "Vietnam."

    Have a Great Day!
    Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author vgvetter
    Do you know how to make a blonde's eyes light up?

    Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You guys are going to get the dumb blonde cops after you. When they come to my door, I'm going to rat out you guys. :p

    Ken

    The Old Geezer
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

      OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You guys are going to get the dumb blonde cops after you. When they come to my door, I'm going to rat out you guys. :p

      Ken

      The Old Geezer
      True story...

      In my old Toastmasters club, we ended every meeting with a joke. One day I stood up and started, "A blonde walked into a bar..."

      One of the members, a usually whip-smart golden-haired woman, protested "hey, watch it - I'm blonde, you know!"

      Without missing a beat, I replied "sorry about that. <very slowly> A...blonde...walked...into...a.bar..."

      She busted out laughing, thank goodness...

      Not-true story...

      A gorgeous young blonde knocked on the door of the local miser and explained that her car was out of gas and she had no money to buy more. She asked if there was anything she could do to earn $20.

      The miser told her he'd give her $20 for painting his porch, which spanned the entire front of his large house. (Get your minds out of the gutter!)

      She agreed, and he told her that she'd find everything she needed in the garage and returned to counting his money.

      About an hour later, she knocked on the door again and asked for her money. Amazed, the miser said that he'd have to check her work. He stepped out and told her he couldn't pay her, since it didn't look like she'd done anything, much less painted the whole porch.

      She protested, "I did too do something. I gave your dumb porch two coats of paint, and had enough left over to do the BMW, too..."
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  • Profile picture of the author cityhunter66
    Heard most jokes before but still laughed, thanks guys
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  • Profile picture of the author vgvetter
    Clancy stumbled in about 7:00 AM Saturday morning, and was greeted by Mrs. C.

    Mrs C..."Where have you been all night?'....

    C.... "Got home about 10::00 last night, and since the lights were out, I slept on the old couch in the garage so as not to disturb you.""

    Mrs. C ... "I sold that couch last week."

    C...."That's my story, and I'm sticking with it'"
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  • Profile picture of the author garrycodman
    Ken,

    Wow thats a brilliant strategy! And psychologically it makes sense too. If you put in jokes, people are bound to open, atleast to read the jokes. Shows you also care for the list to share a laugh with them.

    It also seems like all the jokes that everyone is posting seems to be working on this thread too ... as it has become a HOT thread :p.

    Keep them jokes Coming ... As they say, laughter is the best medicine
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    • Profile picture of the author unoentremil
      Originally Posted by garrycodman View Post

      Ken,

      If you put in jokes, people are bound to open, atleast to read the jokes. Shows you also care for the list to share a laugh with them.

      It also seems like all the jokes that everyone is posting seems to be working on this thread too ... as it has become a HOT thread :p.
      Yes, it's brilliant. Now I only have to learn how to make Jokes in English!
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        The elderly couple sitting in the lawyer's office explained that after 75 years of marriage, they wanted a divorce.

        The lawyer asked them why they wanted to split up now, after 3/4 of a century together.

        The wife explained, "We've wanted this forever, but we wanted to wait until the children were all dead."

        :p
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        • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post

          Police were called to a nursery yesterday. A 3 year old was resisting a rest.
          Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

          The elderly couple sitting in the lawyer's office explained that after 75 years of marriage, they wanted a divorce.

          The lawyer asked them why they wanted to split up now, after 3/4 of a century together.

          The wife explained, "We've wanted this forever, but we wanted to wait until the children were all dead."

          :p

          lol. Both of these made me laugh. Glad to see this thread still going.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Garry,

    The thing is you can build a great rapport with entire client base. It doesn't have to be a joke all of the time either. You can send them to an inspiring video or a helpful blog post. By opening your mind to how you can help them, regardless of whether they buy from you or not. By doing so you have your own little social network.

    Ken

    The Old Geezer
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    • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
      Banned
      Police were called to a nursery yesterday. A 3 year old was resisting a rest.
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        Three sisters 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

        One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in the tub, then pauses. She yells down the stairs,"Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

        The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

        The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."



        Terra
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        • Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

          Three sisters 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

          One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in the tub, then pauses. She yells down the stairs,"Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

          The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

          The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."



          Terra
          LOL, maybe they need a FOURTH person to live in the house with them?
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Now this one will get your heart pounding.

    Let's Dance - YouTube
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Thanks Ken!

      I love dance and although I saw some of my favorite dance scenes, I also saw some I never had before. I really enjoyed that, Cool!

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author vgvetter
    The robin was late leaving for the south that fall...
    He only went a little way before his wings frosted over and was forced to land on a country road...
    A cow came along and crapped on him...
    He struggled and struggled, and finally poled hid head out and peeped....
    A cat came along and ate him...

    This proves:
    He who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy...
    He who digs you out of the crap is not necessarily your friend...
    And ..If you're warm and cozy even though covered with crap... Keep your mouth shut!
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  • Profile picture of the author Online Helper
    [QUOTE=Ken Leatherman;6470131]

    One of the ways I keep my list happy is to throw in a joke 5 or 6 times a month. Seems the majority of folks really enjoy jokes; especially the ones that are about kids. It never fails when I have a "kid joke" I always here back from my list telling me how they liked it and sometimes sending their own kid joke back to me. However, once in a while an "Old Grump" will unsubscribe and tell me to stick to business and not jokes.

    When you use the jokes avoid X rated, racial, specific political names and specific religious jokes.

    My open rate is always higher when my subject line starts with "New Joke and..." Then I write my offer, tips, etc. No joke until the end of the e-Mail and I always put the offer link again after the joke ends. That way your readers don't have to scroll up to find the buy link again. Well guess who forgot to use my best producing subject/headline in my e-Mail yesterday. Yep it was me.

    -----
    Thanks. Sound like a good idea. May be I should try that as well. Alternatively, may be can append with some inspirational quote as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author erwin78
    Hi everyone,

    funny joke and a good idea. I would never think about it but now I'm consider it.

    And I think I will try it.

    All the best and thanks.
    See you on top.

    Your friend and partner Erwin
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    Ok ... so I just heard this one.

    Daughter to Mom: What is a nymphomaniac?
    Mom: A woman who is addicted to sex
    Daughter to Mom: What do they call a man who is addicted to sex?
    Mom: Men
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  • Profile picture of the author DZainein
    What an excellent tip!

    This really do happen in the real world, a group of friends meet after a long time and after everybody's done with the greetings - jokes do start and spread laughter.

    This could be done online - albeit with some restrictions, as cautioned by Ken.

    @Ken - you already a have bunch of them to go around now
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  • Profile picture of the author Nexstair
    Being humorous is certainly a good.It keep body normal after long hours of work.Nice advice.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    Oh, this thread is back? A bad joke can lose you money too...

    Should I Go Become a Standup Comedian?

    Joke Number Two (Penguin Joke)

    He's taking the sarcasm like a champ though (I think), everyone give a hand to Michael55555 for being a good sport!
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