I've cracked! I'm now going over to the dark side.

by Andyhenry 13 replies
After recent discussions offline on in this forum about relating what people want to what they need and how to communicate the difference effectively, I've kicked myself in the ass (arse for the brits) and decided to pick a side and stick to it.

The Dark Side won.

The Dark Side = using the many years of psychology and sales copy learning I've done as the focus of my business efforts, "sell the sizzle and supply the steak".

I love metaphors and stories and I know they connect with people (I read around 5 books a week on average and many of them have their messages encapsulated in metaphor and story).

The simple things that have changed my life over the years include:

The Richest Man In Babylon - a great story that just happens to have timeless success information contained.

NLP - Success leaves evidence and can be modeled and shared.

Gary Halbert - Unfortunately not around anymore but he shared some gems I'll never forget.

The first story people hear becomes their reference from then on (IMers getting fed the wrong information can take a LOT of convincing that rethinking might be wise).

You get the idea - it's all really simple. The big thing for me is that the times that simple ideas have actually stuck with me have been when they're wrapped in story and metaphor.

Therefore, I'm going to stop getting in my own way and refocus on meeting people in their world and effectively laying out new options in front of them in a way that THEY create the value they need from it.

I've been around in IM a relatively long time now and I've seen most of the current Gurus taking their journeys. I've made money with every strategy I've seen that makes sense, and I've been in that unfortunate starting position of divorced, broke, massive debts, and turned my life around using the lessons I've learned and business success strategies from others and of my own. I KNOW how people struggling are feeling. I KNOW how it feels to desire just one sale - of anything, so that you know you're not mad and struggling with something you believe in but can't seem to make work. I also KNOW what it feels like to actually make that sale, and then next one, and the next one. I've gone from not being able to see how my financial worries would ever end to feeling like life is all about helping others and money isn't a problem.

I KNOW I can help people.

But to have things end up the best they can be, jumping around answering random questions that I happen to see from people asking for help doesn't seem to be the best way.

So this post is 2 things:

1 - A brain dump of my new thinking to see if I've lost the plot or it makes sense to others. (a sanity check - are these the ramblings of a mad person?)

2 - A request for people that you've encountered that have changed your life for the better. This applies to IM, business or life in general. I want to track these people down and see how they're doing it so that I can be the best possible at doing it for others.


I'm just a normal guy who has found ways to find success, but I can't help others as much as I'd like to without a new strategy.

In a way I'm talking about being the hero in your own journey. You start out, encounter problems, learn lessons, overcome the problems, face the big bad guy and then live happily with the love of your life.

What do you suggest?

Thanks in advance.

Andy
#main internet marketing discussion forum #cracked #dark #side
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  • Profile picture of the author sparrow
    Some heavy stuff Andy

    looks like your in a postion to grow into the next step

    I can't wait till I get into a postion where I work on my business instead of in it.

    Hope you plan on sticking around here, you always a gem here and there to contribute.

    Congrats for your success
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    • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
      Originally Posted by sparrow View Post

      Some heavy stuff Andy

      looks like your in a postion to grow into the next step

      I can't wait till I get into a postion where I work on my business instead of in it.

      Hope you plan on sticking around here, you always a gem here and there to contribute.

      Congrats for your success
      I love this forum and I'll probably always come here, but what I'm probably going to do is stop spending my time jumping in on newbie questions that tons of other people here can answer and just focus on helping people who are serious about what they're trying to achieve and are not just looking for answers on what is article marketing, do I need a blog etc....

      It's been a hard transition for me to make because I love helping people but I'm now seeing that making the most difference is more about quality and choosing who you help rather than quantity.

      Andy
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      nothing to see here.

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      • Profile picture of the author Richie Bigrac
        I would recommend reading Victor Kiam's book 'Going for it'
        (non affiliate link)

        Sadly, he is no longer with us but the book is a gem and is what inspired me to break out of the 9-5 day to day drudgery.



        Richie
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      • Profile picture of the author KarlWarren
        Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

        It's been a hard transition for me to make because I love helping people but I'm now seeing that making the most difference is more about quality and choosing who you help rather than quantity.

        Andy
        If you can make a difference in one person's life, knowing that it WILL make a difference - it's a lot more rewarding than trying to make a difference in 10 people's lives who can't be helped (or, make it difficult to be helped) which ends up being draining and taking you away from those who can.

        Man, it's far too early for philosophy

        Kindest regards,
        Karl.
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        • Profile picture of the author jhongren
          Hi Andy,

          You are one of the regular around who is helping.

          Thanks alot.

          I think Internet Marketers go through a few transition.

          They feel around at the newbie stage.

          They got confused at the post-newbie stage.

          They finally decide on just one at the intermediate level.

          They earn abit of money and realise it really work at the next level.

          They begin to replicate what they see as possible and bringing in results.

          They multiply it by many times and become the expert of their niche.

          They simplify their concept which they gained over the years.

          They go around and helping other newbies up the ladder, sharing their gems of wisdom.

          Most likely, Andy is at this stage. Again, I am not him. Only he knows.

          But nevertheless, whatever you have shared, we really find we learnt alot. =)

          Thanks a million, Andy!

          Cheers,
          John
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          • Profile picture of the author Mary Gallivan
            Hi Andy

            First of all - great post, as always.

            It's strange that with so many posts under your belt it's only recently I've noticed you in the forum. Maybe I haven't been looking hard enough.

            Some of the big guys I used to learn from are sadly no longer in this forum lately. Or, certainly not very often - people like Willie Crawford - I read every post and learnt something every time; and there's many more.

            We need guys like you in the forum to help us.

            I'm starting to think that maybe some people don't get past the newbie - intermediate stage due to fear.

            Not so much fear of success and making a few sales but fear of TOO much success. Fear of having a successful business with oddles of subscribers to please. The need to engage an accountant, do tax returns, long-term committment.

            Once you get to the point of being successful you need to maintain it for it to sustain.

            It's a bit like the lottery. How many of us would love for all our numbers to get called and win those millions. Oh, what we could do with that money. The truth is it can be frightening - there's a new responsibility that nobody teaches us how to handle.

            Maybe that's one of the questions newbies need to ask themselves would I be able to handle the responsibilty this business brings with it?

            Also, would I be able to cope with the wealth this business can bring?

            Many would answer yes, but I bet there are some that haven't thought that far ahead.

            Mary
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  • Profile picture of the author Peter Bestel
    Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

    (a sanity check - are these the ramblings of a mad person?)
    Yes!:rolleyes:


    But welcome to a rather large club. lol


    Just as an observation, and I may be wrong here, but it seems that you've come to the realisation that you can only help those that WANT to be helped; not simply those that have asked for help, but those that really want to learn and grow. I also suspect that you knew that already. lol

    Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

    2 - A request for people that you've encountered that have changed your life for the better. This applies to IM, business or life in general. I want to track these people down and see how they're doing it so that I can be the best possible at doing it for others.
    Usual suspects apply, I believe...

    As I'm new to IM (just about six months) my references are pretty recent. I can't say anyone has affected me profoundly just yet, but my intro was via Frank Kern and I just love seeing how he's transformed his life and business by growing as a human being. I'm an info-holic (real word!) and when I get interested in a subject I read like a maniac. So yes, I'm poring over the Gary Halbert archives, watching John Carlton... the list goes on, and spending time sifting through this site.

    NLP has had a massive effect on me since 'discovering' it some 15 years ago. I don't need to tell you how good that can be for business and life in general. I'm also extremely lucky to be married to a like-minded, wonderful person that can share in my interests. Heather's a massive influence on me.

    Business wise - I'd say that three people have influenced me enormously, Jay Abraham, Tony Robbins and Michael Gerber. I've lost count how much money I used to spend with Nightingale Conant listening to those guys. Truly inspiring.

    Peter
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  • Profile picture of the author vitalgirl
    That's a great quote Richard, I like that

    Rebecca
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    • Profile picture of the author dorothydot
      I was going to write a big tome of wisdom... but others beat me to it. ;-)

      So I'll just second your statements about writing stories and hypnotic writing and - most important to me as well - helping make other people's lives better.

      Wish we weren't so far apart... I'd love to get to know you better and maybe we could encourage each other along our marketing pathways.

      Dot
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Andy, I've been on both sides of the fence.

      I've hung out at forums and answered all the newbie questions (still do)

      I've mentored one on one...sometimes taking on 20 people at a time.

      Let me tell you, in either scenario, you're going to find those who aren't
      serious and you can't help.

      I have learned that all I can do is what I can do and those around me who
      are influenced by what I say have to decide if they're going to really make
      the efforts to better their lives.

      I hate cliches but this one is so true.

      "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it."

      I have been trying to make horses drink for years now. I sometimes wonder
      why I bother. Sure, I get a few emails from people from time to time
      saying, "Thanks, you really helped me make my first dollar online" but for
      the most part, most folks either don't do anything or don't bother telling
      me that they did.

      So I've decided that I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. If I help
      a few souls along the way, great. But I can't worry about it anymore. If
      I do, I'll end up drinking again and that's the last thing I need.

      You have to do what YOU feel is right. That's the bottom line. Only you
      can decide that. You yourself may not even know what the right thing is.
      I know many times I don't. But ultimately the decision is mine, and this
      one is yours. I can't even say you'll make the right decision. You won't
      know until you make it and do it. And then even after all that, you may
      someday wake up and say to yourself, "Well, that was a mistake."

      We all make them.

      But they're still ours to make. So go with your gut and hope for the best.

      That's all anybody can do.
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      • Profile picture of the author Roy Carter
        Andy - Very interesting post. Particularly the line You start out, encounter problems, learn lessons, overcome the problems, face the big bad guy and then live happily with the love of your life."

        That particularly resonated with me as it's my own story, as was the line "divorced, broke, massive debts, and turned my life around using the lessons I've learned " except for the fact that the broke bit came before the divorce in my case.

        As for who/what influenced me, I read Joe Karbo's book, 'The Lazy Man's Way To Riches" when I was about 17 and it triggered an entrepreneurial streak in me that has lasted to this day.

        Roy
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        • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
          Thanks for all of your replies so far.

          Dorethy - Funnily enough, I was offered a job in Maryland today. I didn't accept it as I'm not looking for one, but it was funny to see your location after getting that and what you said.

          Andy
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          nothing to see here.

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  • Profile picture of the author Alan Petersen
    I tend to be the opposite and I find myself staying away from the usual suspects in IM. I've been helped a lot by IM folks that might be a bit more under the radar. Lynn Terry and Lee McIntyre are two examples. The warrior forum itself has also been of great help to keep moving forward in this crazy biz. :-)
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