How to deal with the fear or failure

Your thoughts are highly insightful. You have addressed the agenda of dealing with fear of failure from a complete psychological perspective.

Many thanks for sharing!!

Excellent suggestion, man. Where did you get this secret. The real solution to fear.

I did it. What you said. It was interesting. Wrestling with my emotions to force what I want out of it.

I get it. It makes me stronger. Then the false belief doesn't have so much of a hold over me.
Pretty good. And very helpful.

What you resist persists. And that makes us stronger. This is an important step you are pointing out here.

Only what if it uses our own strength against us at that point? The false belief (really the emotion powering the false belief) becomes stronger as well with this type of interaction. Then we have to go to another level in our healing. Not always, just sometimes.

The feeling has a specific message it is trying to get us to know and understand. But even that is not enough. It wants to be cured not just resisted to help you become stronger.

Or the feeling can just hold out. Just bide its time until we let our guard down or become weak.

Feelings have feelings. It is weird, I know. But take a moment and get angry at something.
Now get angry at your anger and watch what happens. Did you see it move?

Weird, right?

What then? The programming is still there. Still working out of site.


But you are right on too about not eliminating negative feelings completely either. That's not the goal. We need to be bigger than the pain so the pain shrinks to its normal, healthy, small amounts. Then we can live. I get that. I use the example forgiveness cures anger (a cure happens after becoming angry). It doesn't prevent it. We have to learn to be bigger than our anger so we can manage it because of the good that healthy, appropriate anger does for us. Like tell us something is wrong, or that a boundary was crossed.

The next step or the most important step to completely undo false programming so it is completely gone. The false belief can be completely powerless over us. It becomes just another free floating concept.

There are two parts to false beliefs - the concept and the feeling. The feeling is the most important thing because that is what powers the concept. Without the feeling the concept becomes just another statement in a book. We are completely free from the false belief even though the concept may still be floating around. The feeling completely drops the connection to the concept and shrinks to normal, healthy, appropriate levels. A healthy "exhilaration" of standing on the edge of a cliff would be a good example of fear. Back from breaking out into cold sweats and significant increase in blood pressure.

Free ourselves from misinformation. This is the only way for the "anger" to be able to drop back to manageable levels. Only then can we claim back the opportunity to grow. Only then can we be much bigger on the inside than our anger. Substitute any false belief for our anger here. The process is the same.

I read this article a few days ago. You might wanna take a look at it.

Four Reasons Fear Is More Expensive Than Failure
Four reasons why worrying about failure may be costing you as much or more than actually trying and experiencing a miss.


Fear will always be there but I believe its better to experience failure than to live in fear and not experience anything at all.

Hi TobyJensen

I'm glad that you liked it. However, after reading your comments I decided to clarify my view on the point.

It's not only impossible to eliminate negative feeling (in this case the fear of failure) but also very undesirable to do so. Because we may need this negative feeling at a certain period of our life. Because this negative feeling was initially not negative, and in it's essense is also not negative now. Each coin has 2 sides; the same feeling may be negative in one case, and positive in another. What we label "fear of failure" has another side of "being prudent". The only problem is that it got too much control inside us and overacts dramatically

So the real problem is not in the fear itself, but that this fear blocks us from acting. This is because we have only 1 point of focus - this fear, and we are paralyzed. With the routine we're creating the 2nd point of focus, then step by step (time by time) make it stronger, and finally have the conscious choice which point of focus we would like to concentrate on.

After we'have done this, the feeling of fear is gone for all usual decisions, we don't feel it and it does not prevent us from acting (or from not acting!!). But then there is a bigger decision to take, and this fear may be here once more. Each time in each such situation the idea is to check if we need this fear or not, and to make the conscious choice. What is it? The fear we shall overcome? Or the prudence we shall follow?

Fears are important... Just the word is bad, nobody likes it.

Truly appreciate your viewpoint!
We all get bogged down with fears. But the fact remains that there is a victory beyond fears; and that is only possible when one acts against one's fears.
Actions in the direction of fears not only crushes them but also boosts one's confidence to face any kind of fears in life!