Closed Mind = Limited options

26 replies
I had a couple conversations with family members this weekend that really hit home...kind of made me sad for the one person and happy/surprised for the other.

The cliff notes version is that the first person could not accept in her mind that she could do or be anything more than her 40+ hour per week job that zaps all of her energy away and leaves her no time for her 4 beautiful children.

You can catch the rest of the story over on my blog, but I really wonder....how can someone honestly hope for better for themselves and their family while not being able to perceive any other path, route or opportunity?

Very sad...
#closed #limited #mind #options
  • Profile picture of the author thatgirlJ
    I've run into the same thing. A few of my friends became interested in learning how I got started ghostwriting and affiliate marketing. They were all gung ho (heck, even my dad was into it). But when it came time for them to sit down and do the work, they were done.

    I don't get the need to work at a desk all week for a boss, but to each their own
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    • Profile picture of the author Samuel P.
      I find that when you find the right thing it sort of fits like a glove. We can't all be internet marketers.

      Even within internet marketing certain fields just make me depressed and make me want to give up and others I just love to do.

      It's so important that people find the thing they really enjoy doing and somehow turn that into a job.
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      • Profile picture of the author Mike Murphy
        I had a co-worker tell me "I'm too lazy to chase after stuff like you do. You figure it out and I'll work for you". Hmmm....so, you're lazy and undriven then? Please leave your application on the pile....

        The girl in the conversation this weekend doesn't hate her career which is cool and once longed to take it to the next level. It's in her grasp and she's VERY smart but has the blinders on to her own potential. She doesn't even have to re-invent the wheel or be told of some awesome new opportunity...the "better life" she seeks lies right in front of her and she told me what it was with her own mouth!

        Man oh man...frustrating!
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        • Profile picture of the author John Rowe
          Some people are just... satisfied. And I'm not being sarcastic there!

          I personally have a hard time understanding that (although part of me envies it)... but some people are simply satisfied with what they have, what they do, and... who and where they are in this world.
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    • Profile picture of the author Norma Holt
      Great reply, Jenn. Its a case of putting your feet in the water and trying it out and then jump in and see how you go. I did it once when I needed an income and was house bound with young children. I put an ad in the paper to design gardens, something I had no training in or every thought about. Ex had bought a drawing board and I put it to good use to do my first design and earn over $400 for it. It so pleased the client that I went on to earn a great living from landscape designing, which expanded into other areas as well including a retail shop, for over 15 years.

      You just have to give it a go and don't back down. If you think you will fail you probably will. If you believe in yourself you will succeed and learn as you go.

      God bless
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      • Profile picture of the author Scott Muzzey
        I think that the vast majority of people walking this planet fit into this category. Work for someone else, make them money while busting your hump, and take the crumbs that the boss "gives you" (vacations, raises, benefits, etc.). They see security in this.

        The primary aim of public education is to make good worker out of everyone. Teach them to obey rules, read and write and sent them off to work (or college for more specialized training). If you don't believe me, do some reading about the start of public education in America.

        Don't get me wrong, I don't ever think public education is bad (maybe the way its funded....but that's another conversation). I think it is a good thing. My kids go to public schools. And I am probably the biggest supporter of education of anyone out there. I am always learning something. I am always curious. I always have questions.

        But based on this foundation, we are all taught to believe that having a J.O.B. is what we need to do. When we went to school, we all have all heard someone tell us, "Get good grades so you can get into a great university and then get a good job." We have all heard stories about the old timers retiring from their job of 40 years with a pension to last them their lives. Unfortunately (or fortunately), those days are long gone.

        People are like water, they go with the path of least resistance. It is easier to get a job than it is to start a business. A paycheck is seen as easy and secure. Getting paying customers is seen as difficult. They know that if they just do the bare minimum, they will still get paid. But that 'security' is an illusion.

        I personally don't understand it either. I think it's a no-brainer; a business that I breathe life into and nurture would always be preferable to a JOB. The security rests in my hands, not someone else. And I love being an entrepreneur. It's the best career for me.

        Entrepreneurs are a different lot. We understand self-motivation, self-discipline and taking calculated, educated risks. We are similar to farmers; we thrive on watching what we create grow. I think that I can safely say that we are in the minority.

        I also know people that feel like working 9to5 is the only thing one can do. But we need to accept their mindset. Remember, if one never tastes a candy bar, they will never miss it.
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        • Profile picture of the author TCmarketer
          Originally Posted by Scott Muzzey View Post

          I think that the vast majority of people walking this planet fit into this category. Work for someone else, make them money while busting your hump, and take the crumbs that the boss "gives you" (vacations, raises, benefits, etc.). They see security in this.

          The primary aim of public education is to make good worker out of everyone. Teach them to obey rules, read and write and sent them off to work (or college for more specialized training). If you don't believe me, do some reading about the start of public education in America.

          Don't get me wrong, I don't ever think public education is bad (maybe the way its funded....but that's another conversation). I think it is a good thing. My kids go to public schools. And I am probably the biggest supporter of education of anyone out there. I am always learning something. I am always curious. I always have questions.

          But based on this foundation, we are all taught to believe that having a J.O.B. is what we need to do. When we went to school, we all have all heard someone tell us, "Get good grades so you can get into a great university and then get a good job." We have all heard stories about the old timers retiring from their job of 40 years with a pension to last them their lives. Unfortunately (or fortunately), those days are long gone.

          People are like water, they go with the path of least resistance. It is easier to get a job than it is to start a business. A paycheck is seen as easy and secure. Getting paying customers is seen as difficult. They know that if they just do the bare minimum, they will still get paid. But that 'security' is an illusion.

          I personally don't understand it either. I think it's a no-brainer; a business that I breathe life into and nurture would always be preferable to a JOB. The security rests in my hands, not someone else. And I love being an entrepreneur. It's the best career for me.

          Entrepreneurs are a different lot. We understand self-motivation, self-discipline and taking calculated, educated risks. We are similar to farmers; we thrive on watching what we create grow. I think that I can safely say that we are in the minority.

          I also know people that feel like working 9to5 is the only thing one can do. But we need to accept their mindset. Remember, if one never tastes a candy bar, they will never miss it.

          Bravo! You've hit the nail on the head on quite alot here. I'm 33 now my story was a lot different two years ago. The day stopped doing what was programmed into me was the day that my life started getting a hell of alot better. I really started getting into positive thinking and that's when it all stated. Ever since i've read close to 300 books on personal development and self help material of which there's hundreds more to read too! So much had i read that i did a seminar (just the one but it was enough) which one of my brothers attended.
          Now this brother when i made all the mental changes stayed in his programed state of mind. He went to school, worked part time, always had the tv on, played alot of video games. He was on his last year of getting a University degree to teach english. By then though he was soooo sick of school he was doign the least he could do to just finish and get his degree. Since i had this new found awarenes I saw exactly was happening to him. He picked being an english teacher because 1, he like to read, 2, our mom was teacher (we always seem to take after our parents don't we? 3, he'd been programmed earlier in age to pick something and do it. So I saw where it was going and it went exactly there. He got his degree but didn't go into teaching at all. Instead he stayed working as a waiter for min wage and tips. He'd hang out with the other employees after and drink and socialize sleeping waaay late in the day. Caved into peer pressure and started doing weed. He literally was on the path to nowhere.
          Let's fastforward to recently. Although i don't know when he made the change nor did i ask, but he came to me and we had a massive conversation. He's dropped most of the loser friends, quit weed, quit his job at the restaurant (hasn't replaced it yet but saved up enought to last him for a few months), quit watching tv, quit playing video games, and really got into personal development. Although i'm very much ahead of him I can tell he's made immense progress. He even talked about how much of my seminar was 'clicking' now. I was even able to say to him that we're finally able to talk on even ground.

          I have to say though, I look at alot of people today and seriously just have to shake my head sometimes, if they changed just a couple things about themselves... I had one friendship that i ended becuase he was life leecher. Never a positive thing to say about anything. He even mocked me and actually tried to tell me I hadn't changed for the better. Well of course not, not for him, for the betterment of me. I'm glad he isn't part of my life anymore. And don't think for a minute that i didn't offer him a hand I did. However, his was not first extended. From my experience, if theirs is not extended first, they are not ready to be taught.

          Ok i'd better stop now. :p
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  • Profile picture of the author sideserver
    I know the feeling. It sucks even more when I know people who are far more brilliant or technically inclined than I am. I KNOW they will be able to make it big online and build a fantastic lifestyle for themselves but my pea just falls on deaf ears. They don't even want to hear about the options they have.

    Oh well. Like Samuel P. said we can't all be internet marketers.
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    • Profile picture of the author Houcem Rihane
      This category of people must exist per nature. If it's wouldn't exist then we wouldn't exist.
      99% of the flowing money worldwide is not made by independent entrepreneurs. It's simply made by huge companies with thousends of nice obedient workers. And we get to get a share of the revenues.
      Not to long ago, when I was student(I am still), broke and learing IM I had a friend who was pretty in the same situation(except learning IM) who used to blame me each time I bought an ebook for $77 and said "how do you think you are going to get to the end of the month. Do you think that you will be able to eat that ebook when you will be hungry. It's not even a real book (could be eaten )".
      I told him: "I don't mind fasting a couple of days and renouncing to a couple of meals, that I would anyway lose in a couple of days for a piece of knowledge that would accompany me my whole life and open new unsuspected doors down the road."
      Some time later, when some profits started rolling in, he suggested to help me with the money to start some projects I told him about and get a share of the profits. I told him that I could instead teach him everything I know for free so that he could apply it.
      Guess what?
      "This stuff is too complicated for me"..."it requires a lot of patience"..."too much work and I have no time"
      Fact is : Only those who defeat the laziness will achieve something in this life. But what you need in order to defeat your laziness is the visuallization of YOUR vision of the future and the strong will to chage your present.
      And few are the people capable of this.

      Houcem
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      • Profile picture of the author Testmaster
        People hate to make decisions.
        People like to be in their comfort zone. Doing something new scares them.
        So you can say the mind is closed and you only have limited options.

        Sad but true....
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        • Profile picture of the author Bruce NewMedia
          Dan Kennedy said at a seminar I attended, that people right after they're born and the umbilical cord is cut... "they spend the rest of their life trying to find a new place to plug it in." I love that quote:-)

          Most people I meet and know well are very rigid in their thinking. They simply cannot imagine working for themselves, being independent, and making all the money they need. Even when they know someone who is doing so, they simply invent reasons why it could never work for them.

          So, they desire to break free, but their mindset keeps them 'plugged in' to their daily grind.
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          • Profile picture of the author summer07
            I used to wonder about people who preferred 9-to-5, too. I used to think there was something I could say to them to get them to see the light (meaning see things my way)!

            Now I think we're just hard-wired differently. So I don't worry anymore about trying to change them or their ideas. Now I just try to figure out if they're someone I would want to outsource some of my work to...win-win!

            And I don't mean that in a condescending way. They have an ability to do the same thing day after day that would bore me to tears. They can't do what I do, but I can't do what they do, either!

            Audre
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  • Profile picture of the author HawkPrecision
    Beginners mind by suzuki something is a fantastic book about this topic.
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  • Profile picture of the author stopper
    Well starting out will sometime seem like walking into a dark forest with nothing familiar along the unbeaten jungle path, it takes courage to keep walking.
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  • Profile picture of the author Nathan2525
    Originally Posted by Mike Murphy View Post

    I had a couple conversations with family members this weekend that really hit home...kind of made me sad for the one person and happy/surprised for the other.

    The cliff notes version is that the first person could not accept in her mind that she could do or be anything more than her 40+ hour per week job that zaps all of her energy away and leaves her no time for her 4 beautiful children.

    You can catch the rest of the story over on my blog, but I really wonder....how can someone honestly hope for better for themselves and their family while not being able to perceive any other path, route or opportunity?

    Very sad...
    It's a catch 22 because the reason you would build is business
    is to have time with your kids.
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  • Profile picture of the author bryansallee
    i agree with you Testmaster.....
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  • Profile picture of the author Kenny007
    Being an open minded opens you up for a lot more in life than close mind ever would. I don't know why people sell them short in life, its a fact a human being only uses about 10% of the brain capability, then why?
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  • Profile picture of the author aldentan
    Open up your mind, open up yourself, believe and things will fly
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    • Profile picture of the author abundantlife
      I was told, when it was first suggested that I participate in forums, that I would find the sharing of like minded people. This post is a perfect example of that truth.

      One of the comments mentioned that entrepreneurs just seem to be hard wired different. In my experience that certainly seems to be the case. And I can relate to those who commented of friends or co-workers who just didn't get it about working for ones self and preferred the "security" of being an employee. Another mentioned that without them there would be no place for us. So we need each other. We're all different but we mix well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gilearn
    I also realized that when someone closes his/her mind it is not much you can do for the person. When your mind is opened you start to see opportunities.
    open mind = unlimited options
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  • when you think in a limited portion that is when you don't want to explore yourself, then you will get the less chances in the life .
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    • Profile picture of the author AC683
      Great post! I always knew there was something better in life than working a 9 to 5 job in order to make someone else's dreams come true. Once I started working for myself I immediately felt liberated and set free. It's had challenging moments but, nothing about it has felt as bad as that wasting away feeling that gnawed at me when I was working a job to simply get a paycheck. I am so happy I opened my mind to new opportunities and unlimited options.
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  • Totally, one needs to look at what makes them happy and Do IT! No matter what you do in life, it involves commitment. I've had some bad jobs but when I finally took the risk for something it was well worth it. Of course it was hard, but I learned alot.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kaysa
    I can see the limits that others see only if I went blind.

    Close minded people don't look for a better life, or they think they are getting everything done to get a better life. People can have a close mind because they are affraid of not being safe, you know leaving the comfort zone. Or it can be that they are just blind and can't see beyond of what they have in front of them.

    Too bad they will not succedd big with this blindness.
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  • Profile picture of the author Duy Nguyen
    Originally Posted by Mike Murphy View Post

    I had a couple conversations with family members this weekend that really hit home...kind of made me sad for the one person and happy/surprised for the other.

    The cliff notes version is that the first person could not accept in her mind that she could do or be anything more than her 40+ hour per week job that zaps all of her energy away and leaves her no time for her 4 beautiful children.

    You can catch the rest of the story over on my blog, but I really wonder....how can someone honestly hope for better for themselves and their family while not being able to perceive any other path, route or opportunity?

    Very sad...
    I understand that situation Mike, as many of my friends have the same attitude to life. I feel that they understand they have choices. But they're just scared to death when they think about it. They are afraid of changing because there is nothing to be certain.

    But there is one thing they don't understand. That's changing is inevitable in life. And it's the only way to become better.
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