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Mental block / fear about "competitors"

by flyingSquirrel
47 replies
Whenever I'm checking out content, products, ideas, etc of "competitors" online, I have a mental issue... what happens is, I want to comment, interact, be part of the community of my niche, and so on. I genuinely want to - I often want to say that I really like something they are doing, or offer some comments related to it, and so on. But then....

I always feel like if I do interact, I'm no longer under the radar, and the "competitor" will check out my content and whatever I'm doing, then steal my ideas, my content, or really anything about what I'm doing. And they will work faster and harder than I am able to (since I have a full time job) and then I will fall behind, and all of my hard work will be for their benefit.

So basically I see a lot of these people as "competitors" and I'm fearful of doing anything that would get me noticed. I want to stay quiet and do my thing and not draw any attention. However at the same time I do feel like we have a similar interest and some stuff they are doing is cool or I can offer value in a comment, so in a way they are "my people" or "peers." But I can't get past the competition idea.

I hate this. Please help!
#block #competitors #fear #mental
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  • Profile picture of the author bifrmcm
    Your problem is "attention".

    If you get over it - then doors will open and you'll crank out $$$ faster than ever before.

    I used hypnosis to get over the mental blocks and things fall into place.

    Couldn't be much happier let me tell you.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jessica Ambos
      I don't think that's even healthy. You're thinking too much and you're very competitive. If the desire to connect with people highly exceeds the desire to compete, then by all means CONNECT. Leave your worries behind, learn to give away. Life is a cycle. It will eventually come back to you a hundred times more.
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  • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
    Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

    Whenever I'm checking out content, products, ideas, etc of "competitors" online, I have a mental issue... what happens is, I want to comment, interact, be part of the community of my niche, and so on. I genuinely want to - I often want to say that I really like something they are doing, or offer some comments related to it, and so on. But then....

    I always feel like if I do interact, I'm no longer under the radar, and the "competitor" will check out my content and whatever I'm doing, then steal my ideas, my content, or really anything about what I'm doing. And they will work faster and harder than I am able to (since I have a full time job) and then I will fall behind, and all of my hard work will be for their benefit.

    So basically I see a lot of these people as "competitors" and I'm fearful of doing anything that would get me noticed. I want to stay quiet and do my thing and not draw any attention. However at the same time I do feel like we have a similar interest and some stuff they are doing is cool or I can offer value in a comment, so in a way they are "my people" or "peers." But I can't get past the competition idea.

    I hate this. Please help!
    Why? What threat do you pose to them? Judging from your recent posts, it appears you are not their competition because you are frozen with fear.

    Suggest you look at a few Facebook groups, especially copywriting groups with over 5k members. Many people belong to several groups. From people making 7 figures a year to total newbies.

    Yet we see a lot of sharing, even though they are in competition to get copywriting work, it doesn't prevent them from sharing their knowledge when they can.

    One such group has over 27,000 members. Many top flight pros. Many beginners and thousands of people in between.

    Some of them were like you a year ago, BUT, they got over themselves and started to contribute and found out the pie is not shrinking from the competition but IF you bring something of value to the table, you can get your piece of it too.

    Even in the world of nature photography or terraiums or the such, there is a PARADE OF LIFE, which new people join everyday.

    I restate, YOUR problem is you lack a PLAN OF ACTION. YOU still don't know what you want and why. Your WF posts reveal a deer in the headlights, and most likely because you are focused on YOU.

    What do you really have to give others?

    If anything, give it away. Or continue to hoard and hide your expertise/knowledge/skills and live in fear of limits.

    You posted in the right forum, you really need a mindset adjustment.

    GordonJ
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway!

      (Thanks to Bruce Lee and Susan Jeffers for that one ...)

      "Fear" is just an opportunity to be courageous. Maybe
      instead of looking at them as "Competitors" see them
      as fellow Creators.

      Usually every Niche is slightly different and it would be
      beneficial to team up with other People in your Niche.
      Many People have the fear of their Copy/Website being
      copied ...

      However 97% (or something) of the time it never happens.
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      • Profile picture of the author TrickyDick
        Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

        Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway!

        (Thanks to Bruce Lee and Susan Jeffers for that one ...)

        "Fear" is just an opportunity to be courageous. Maybe
        instead of looking at them as "Competitors" see them
        as fellow Creators.
        I've read that fear is hard-wired into us...

        Fear of heights...

        Fear of very loud noises...

        All other fear is learned...

        That is something to ponder when facing fear...
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    your competition is not others doing what you do.. it is everything that sell stuff to people who would buy your terrariums ..if there are many others selling terrariums online that is a good thing..if you are all making them by hand ..then that just means there is a growing demand .

    the main problem you will face going to other peoples site and forums.. is they might believe you are trying to take customers from them they are trying to generate with their site .

    if you are a part time and willing to stop looking at others as competitors.. where you are a photo guy ..put a sm all course together to show people who do what you do..how to take better photos of their terrariums..then as a bonus to buying the course from you ..you will have a site where you post what you feel are the best photos of other peoples terrariums ..if you do well you can become the place where those you view as competitors ..compete with each other .
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  • Profile picture of the author R0b328
    I would say that in today's environment, if you don't collaborate and network, you're pretty much dead in the water. It's definitely something you have to overcome, I think many people deal with this.

    It's really hard to come up with something that hasn't been done before - chances are, it has and it's not something worth spending time worrying about. Whoever does it the best wins anyway.

    The saying "It's not about what you know, it's about who you know" has never been more true than it is today. It's something that you have to get over and the faster you do, the better you'll be off.

    Btw, this is advice that was also given to me by a very well known 7 figure marketer. I skyped with him recently and he gave me an example about how crucial it is to network and talk to people to get attention.

    He had created a case study type product about how he did 6 figures in a few months, and he tried to stay "under the radar" and promote it himself. Even with that amount of proof, he had a MUCH harder time selling it than when he just contacted a few people to help him out.

    Case in point, you will ALWAYS do better when you network and not stay under the radar, the person who executes the idea the best will win anyway, because most things have been done before.

    Hope this helps op! Just get over that fear, it's irrational and will hold you back
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeffrey Joson
    well, i would say you need to learn more and try to launch a new product and increase your marketing skill before you speak out about your first product, in this way, you become more assured you stay ahead the competition
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  • Profile picture of the author cearionmarie
    Try checking out Mel Robbin's 5 sec rule. Within just that time frame do what you need to do. The only thing that holds you back is fear when you can do so much more.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Jonas Phil VA
    If you're going to be afraid of competing, you'll never get anything done. There's always going to be competition. There's always going to be somebody better than you. Even the most successful people know that. But what makes them different is that they don't let that fact stop them from doing what they want, what needs to be done.

    You can't spend your life being afraid of what other people might do with your ideas. If you never implement them, they're worth nothing. Yes, your competition could steal your ideas but that's why you shouldn't stop with just one good idea. You have to keep challenging yourself to do better. Complacency, not competition, is what you should worry about.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by John Jonas Phil VA View Post

      If you're going to be afraid of competing, you'll never get anything done. There's always going to be competition. There's always going to be somebody better than you. Even the most successful people know that. But what makes them different is that they don't let that fact stop them from doing what they want, what needs to be done.

      You can't spend your life being afraid of what other people might do with your ideas. If you never implement them, they're worth nothing. Yes, your competition could steal your ideas but that's why you shouldn't stop with just one good idea. You have to keep challenging yourself to do better. Complacency, not competition, is what you should worry about.
      the idea of compitition is very much limited and holds people back.. very successfull people surround themselves with better people than them in most areas ..elon musk is not personal designing the batteris ..or the elecrical cars .or the reusable rocket boosters.. or the tunnel boring machine..nor is he build or installing solar panels ..

      if you are working alone and believing you have to compete to win.. it does not take but a few people working together to beat you ..or make you feel beaten ..

      Competition is for losers ..winners do not compete they dominate
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    • Profile picture of the author TrickyDick
      Originally Posted by John Jonas Phil VA View Post

      You can't spend your life being afraid of what other people might do with your ideas. If you never implement them, they're worth nothing. Yes, your competition could steal your ideas but that's why you shouldn't stop with just one good idea. You have to keep challenging yourself to do better. Complacency, not competition, is what you should worry about.
      Very true...

      Ideas are a dime a dozen... The easy part is the idea... The hard part is implementing it all the way to the end.... and turning a profit. (The last part is the hardest. :-) )

      Worrying about an idea being "stolen" is a waste of time in most cases... Once you market it, people will see it and create a similar product... unless it is patented and you have a river of cash for your Attorneys. That is just the way business is...

      The not stopping at one "good" idea is also very true... Watching Shark Tank for years, it amazes me how many people will pass up a solid deal because this is their "one" chance... to "get rich." Do they really have so little self confidence they really believe this is it? That totally blows my mind!
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

    I always feel like if I do interact, I'm no longer under the radar, and the "competitor" will check out my content and whatever I'm doing, then steal my ideas, my content, or really anything about what I'm doing.
    Here is a universal truth. Nobody will steal your ideas. Why? Because nobody cares about your ideas. How do I know?

    I'm an expert in my field. I speak at trade shows, selling my ideas. I've been doing it for a couple of decades. And.....I can't get anyone to steal my ideas. Even people that pay for my ideas almost never implement them.

    And I'm a recognized expert in my business.

    Here is another universal truth...

    Even if you were the most successful person in your business...nobody would steal your ideas. You wouldn't even be able to give them away for free.

    Think of the most successful person in your business...

    Have you stolen any of their ideas? See? Nobody cares.The truth is that almost nobody is industrious enough to study other people in their business. It's real work.

    And...I've heard this "someone will steal my ideas" fear over and over again. It's never from the top producers.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Here is a universal truth. Nobody will steal your ideas. Why? Because nobody cares about your ideas. How do I know?

      I'm an expert in my field. I speak at trade shows, selling my ideas. I've been doing it for a couple of decades. And.....I can't get anyone to steal my ideas. Even people that pay for my ideas almost never implement them.

      And I'm a recognized expert in my business.

      Here is another universal truth...

      Even if you were the most successful person in your business...nobody would steal your ideas. You wouldn't even be able to give them away for free.

      Think of the most successful person in your business...

      Have you stolen any of their ideas? See? Nobody cares.The truth is that almost nobody is industrious enough to study other people in their business. It's real work.

      And...I've heard this "someone will steal my ideas" fear over and over again. It's never from the top producers.
      yeah ..most people do not care about you idea of a tasty cheeseburger they care how it will taste when you cook it and serve it on a plate for what ever the price is ..

      thousands of people tend to have the same ideas at once ..so that at least one of them or a handful will take action .. so you are correct..you can give the speach packed with ideas .. it can go on youtube and get 5 million views because the ideas are that good.. and only the people who where already kind of doing it already will actually act on the idea .

      I think putting your ideas out there and writing about the.. is important .. Using a peter drucker quote .. when asked " why do you write .. I believe the answer was .. to know exactally what i am thinking ..

      I have a lot of ideas .. and i tend to write out about 100 post for every one i post .. puting it down on the screen and reading it ..myself.. is much better most of the time and just gets it out of my head .. than actually posting it for others to see .

      P.S. Never thought to look for you tube videos from you claude .. your ideas may work.. but most people don't steal them because they require work ..
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

        P.S. Never thought to look for you tube videos from you claude .. your ideas may work.. but most people don't steal them because they require work ..
        Not only does implementing other people's ideas require work, but almost all ideas have been thought of before...usually by thousands of other people. Almost never is an idea truly original. And if someone thought of it before, what results did they get? That information can save you lots of time and frustration.

        If you ask "Why doesn't someone do it this way?"...sometimes the answer is "Because it's a bad idea".

        Whenever I think I have a brilliant idea (about once every ten years), I try to find out who else has used the idea and what results have they had. I also spend time thinking "Why is this a bad idea?" I try to talk myself out of the idea. I may call a few intelligent friends and ask them what thy think. If they give me a good reason that it won't work (my friends will do that), I know it's a bad idea.

        When you think of a new (to you) idea, positive thinking isn't what you want. Positive thinking...on an untested idea can cause you to waste lots of time...and money... on an idea that is destined to fail.
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Gotta figure the best ideas gotta be worth stealin' -- or they is nuthin'.

    Tellya, if'n I got viral memes droppin' on my ass, I demand QUALITY.

    Problem we got rn is uninvited ideas regurgitatin' forth from outta frickin' noplace.

    They given away ... so nowan needs to steal 'em.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Have you ever gone to a trade show..or a conference?

    The speakers are nearly always highly respected...highly successful people in the business, and they share everything willingly.

    Why aren't they afraid of someone stealing their ideas? Because almost nobody is willing to put forth the effort to take an idea they have learned somewhere else, and tweaked it to work for them.

    Why do business experts write books, giving away their best material? Aren't they afraid of someone using one of their ideas?

    No. And if they did, more power to them.

    Another reason "stealing ideas" is not a big deal is that there are plenty of people in every business. If there were only two people in the world that were in your business...and you were one of them..I might worry about the other guy.

    But if there are 10,000, trust me, some people are using ideas that are far better than anything you have thought of. Your "secrets" are simply not valuable enough to steal.

    And the idea of "stealing" techniques"? It's impossible. Even if someone learns from you, and uses something you taught them...you can still use it yourself. It's not as though someone steal a technique of yours, and you no longer have it.

    The "I don't want anyone to learn my secrets" people are nearly always beginners, who somehow think that they are the only discoverers of an idea.

    Do you think every dentist in town hates every other dentist? Is one thinking "That guy may steal my secret method to drill into a tooth. If they find out, it will ruin me"?

    No. Heck, they refer patients to each other. There is always plenty to go around.

    I've written thousands of articles on selling and marketing. Has anyone ever taken one of my articles and put it on their website...claiming themselves as authors? Yes.

    Is it conceivable that this will hurt my business in any way? No.
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    • Profile picture of the author TrickyDick
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Have you ever gone to a trade show..or a conference?

      The speakers are nearly always highly respected...highly successful people in the business, and they share everything willingly.

      Why aren't they afraid of someone stealing their ideas? Because almost nobody is willing to put forth the effort to take an idea they have learned somewhere else, and tweaked it to work for them.

      Why do business experts write books, giving away their best material? Aren't they afraid of someone using one of their ideas?

      No. And if they did, more power to them.

      Another reason "stealing ideas" is not a big deal is that there are plenty of people in every business. If there were only two people in the world that were in your business...and you were one of them..I might worry about the other guy.

      But if there are 10,000, trust me, some people are using ideas that are far better than anything you have thought of. Your "secrets" are simply not valuable enough to steal.

      And the idea of "stealing" techniques"? It's impossible. Even if someone learns from you, and uses something you taught them...you can still use it yourself. It's not as though someone steal a technique of yours, and you no longer have it.

      The "I don't want anyone to learn my secrets" people are nearly always beginners, who somehow think that they are the only discoverers of an idea.

      Do you think every dentist in town hates every other dentist? Is one thinking "That guy may steal my secret method to drill into a tooth. If they find out, it will ruin me"?

      No. Heck, they refer patients to each other. There is always plenty to go around.

      I've written thousands of articles on selling and marketing. Has anyone ever taken one of my articles and put it on their website...claiming themselves as authors? Yes.

      Is it conceivable that this will hurt my business in any way? No.
      Good points...

      Years ago, I remembering reading a book where the Author said in so many words...

      "This is EVERYTHING I know... I've left nothing out... I've proven it works... It will work for you if you do the work... If you don't feel like doing all the work, contact me and my team will do it for you."

      We emailed back and forth a few times... During our conversations, I mentioned his "offer" to do everything... He said, "I make ten times more money doing what I describe in the book than actually selling the book." That was pure gold!
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    I have had production /manufacturing/warehouse jobs in many different industries ..and studied marketing from many different industries.. if you left me with a blank page and told me create new idea .. the page would stay blank for a long time. but show me a problem and chance are there are several ways that problem has been solved .over different industries so it is a matter of desideing which solution are most appropriate to test first ..

    Where you have a real business with real products to sell ..is part of the reason you are in information marketing /consulting to get exposed to ideas in businesses you consult that you can test in your business ..

    One of the thing that annoys me about the magical thinking in Internet marketing ..i don't know if this is clear enough .. is that the platform oe media you us to do the marketing aka the internet.. is somehow a business model in itself .. defining the business you are in by how you sell or market ..verse the products or services you sell .
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    Stop being arrogant. It is arrogance to think you and you alone have the best ideas all the time.

    So, bring yourself down a peg or two and you'll make money.

    Cross my little heart and wish ...

    Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

    Whenever I'm checking out content, products, ideas, etc of "competitors" online, I have a mental issue... what happens is, I want to comment, interact, be part of the community of my niche, and so on. I genuinely want to - I often want to say that I really like something they are doing, or offer some comments related to it, and so on. But then....

    I always feel like if I do interact, I'm no longer under the radar, and the "competitor" will check out my content and whatever I'm doing, then steal my ideas, my content, or really anything about what I'm doing. And they will work faster and harder than I am able to (since I have a full time job) and then I will fall behind, and all of my hard work will be for their benefit.

    So basically I see a lot of these people as "competitors" and I'm fearful of doing anything that would get me noticed. I want to stay quiet and do my thing and not draw any attention. However at the same time I do feel like we have a similar interest and some stuff they are doing is cool or I can offer value in a comment, so in a way they are "my people" or "peers." But I can't get past the competition idea.

    I hate this. Please help!
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    I should mention that the best way to get rid of your fear of the competition is to study what they do. Study their websites, their offers, send for their information......

    When a customer mentions a competitor, wouldn't it be wise to know all about them?

    And knowledge about your competition makes you nearly bulletproof to a competitive situation. Why? Because they almost never take the time to study what you do.

    It's also a quick way to pick up great ideas.

    And you never know...if they are great...and your company suck in comparison, you may want to switch sides.

    I'll let you all in on a little secret.

    The top people...the CEOs of major companies...are nearly always friends with their competition. There is room enough for everyone.

    Do you think your local dentist hates every other local dentist? Probably not.

    Although if there is one standout dentist/marketer...you'll find them disliked by the others.

    When I was looking for a retailer (of vacuum cleaners) to work for, to learn how to run a retail store myself, I talked to 5 or 6 store owners. They were all willing to teach me...but they all said one thing "Whatever you do, don't go see Julius Toth. That guy is evil. He cheats and takes our customers".


    Of course, I had to meet this evil man.

    He was selling more out of a small store in a lower class neighborhood...than the next 5 competitors combined. We became fast friends (and friends to this day, 35 years later)

    And I learned at his store how to sell in high numbers, at retail.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Dive into this fear FS, again and again, by reaching out, helping people from your niche, and by assisting others. The more you unearth and feel the fear, you clear it, and see the truth: abundance exists. The competition is impossible; we are one. We are all connected. Competition exists in fear, and by feeling and clearing the fear, the competition dissolves too.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph View Post

      Dive into this fear FS, again and again, by reaching out, helping people from your niche, and by assisting others. The more you unearth and feel the fear, you clear it, and see the truth: abundance exists. The competition is impossible; we are one. We are all connected. Competition exists in fear, and by feeling and clearing the fear, the competition dissolves too.
      when it comes to fear ..the question i have been taught to ask is why do you fear something.. really what is the real reason .

      we create from abundance.. but we are at a time or that we are running out of time to create an abundance of lack..the stage we ply on here on earth..it the stage of limits . many we impose on ourselves ..

      how many people want money truly to be limited..backed by gold or some commodity..feeling there is nothing really backing the Value of the dollar or all other fiat currencies ..that there would be panic if the value of the dollar plummeted .. caos social disorder .. we would end up killing and eating each other in weeks .. when every major currency accept the Usdollar has at some point in the last few years gone through crises .. and each time the people either spent savings into durable goods or exchanged their money for a more stable currency ..


      Their is always plenty of money in the system if someone is holding to much..more will be printed until that someone spend the money then extra money in the system can be removed ..
      The promise of bitcoin was originally that there would be limits to the amount of bitcoin..then thousands of other cryptocurrencies have been developed ..and circulated .

      Many stand with this infinite wealth flowing around and try to drink using there bare hands and trying to drink what they need from the drops tricking off their hand .some cupping out enough to save some water in a container with a slow leak for a day when they might not be able to use their hands anymore .

      not only is money now in near infinite supply..there is an every growing number of way for people to fashion cups or any container or even pipes to always have the money flow that person needs..once they are done playing the poverty game .

      so If one is crafting items with their hand and feels there are only so many people who will buy such items ..then the fear is competition can take all the customers . but there is a growing number of people who want hand crafted items.. it is a matter of being able to get infront of those who buy what you make..and who will buy from you
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    • Profile picture of the author socialentry
      Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph View Post

      Dive into this fear FS, again and again, by reaching out, helping people from your niche, and by assisting others. The more you unearth and feel the fear, you clear it, and see the truth: abundance exists. The competition is impossible; we are one. We are all connected. Competition exists in fear, and by feeling and clearing the fear, the competition dissolves too.

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      • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
        Originally Posted by socialentry View Post

        We are the Borg video
        Where do I nominate this for "Post of the Month?"
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  • Profile picture of the author Tony Fairminer
    Most marketers that I know, and I know a lot, will share their knowledge and experience freely but you need to get to know them. Join some FB Groups and try talking to people. You are right that you need to change your Mindset but you can do it slowly and gently.
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  • Profile picture of the author rbarnhart1
    FS - I think you get the gist of what everyone is saying. I'll just add a layer. Your idea is not where the value comes from. The value comes from the relationship you create with your clients, the value you are able to provide, the quality of the solution you provide, your ability to execute your solution or to help them execute it, your values and integrity, and your internal process. These are things your competition can't duplicate. And if you get the relationship part right -- your people will never leave you (read anything by Jeffery Gitomer to explore this idea).

    So, in that sense, competition is irrelevant. However, one key point that others have offered here is that collaboration is the only way to build and grow a business. So, it's all about what you share and who you share it with. Always consider your audience and give them what is appropriate to move the relationship forward.
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  • Profile picture of the author kmnkumaran
    Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

    Whenever I'm checking out content, products, ideas, etc of "competitors" online, I have a mental issue... what happens is, I want to comment, interact, be part of the community of my niche, and so on. I genuinely want to - I often want to say that I really like something they are doing, or offer some comments related to it, and so on. But then....

    I always feel like if I do interact, I'm no longer under the radar, and the "competitor" will check out my content and whatever I'm doing, then steal my ideas, my content, or really anything about what I'm doing. And they will work faster and harder than I am able to (since I have a full time job) and then I will fall behind, and all of my hard work will be for their benefit.

    So basically I see a lot of these people as "competitors" and I'm fearful of doing anything that would get me noticed. I want to stay quiet and do my thing and not draw any attention. However at the same time I do feel like we have a similar interest and some stuff they are doing is cool or I can offer value in a comment, so in a way they are "my people" or "peers." But I can't get past the competition idea.

    I hate this. Please help!

    YOU SHOULD SAY "THANK YOU" TO PEOPLE WHO ARE GIVING ADVICE AND TRYING TO HELP YOU

    I see that you are just opening threads with new topics here and there with no responses from your side...hmmmmmmmmmmmm
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Mr. Squirrel

    2 basic truths here.

    1: Fear is not real. Meaning the fear you feel is not really there. Fear is an illusion. So your whole fear thing and competition thing is an illusion, a magic trick your mind and ego creates, to hold you back, in the safety of your comfort zone.

    2: We are all One. We also live in abundance. Meaning you cannot go against yourself (because we are One) and also, no shortage of anything exists in abundance.

    Reach out to folks, help them, serve them, tap into this One-ness and you will become wildly successful over the long haul. Plus you will begin to step out of the illusion of fear. Which feels pretty darn fun and freeing, lemme tell ya.

    Ryan
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    Ryan Biddulph inspires you to be a successful blogger with his courses, 100 plus eBooks, audio books and blog at Blogging From Paradise
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  • Profile picture of the author Sid Owsley
    The fear you feel might be causing what you fear most to actually happen. If you don't interact and add value your competitors will blow past you and your worst fears will be realized. Most of what we fear is made up in our heads and can paralyze us into not taking action on what we need to do to succeed. Probably the greatest slogan and marketing campaign ever produced was the Nike "Just Do It" campaign.
    If you "Just Do It" accept the results and keep going you'll be much better off than being paralyzed by fear.
    Also, don't think in terms of competition so much as contributing and cooperating in the larger online marketing community. Some of the people you look at as competitors and are afraid of might be the perfect JV partner, mentor, or investor you need to take you to the next level but you will never know this if you don't take the chance and reach out and share what you have to contribute to the market or the world.

    Hope this helps and Good Luck with your endeavors!
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  • Profile picture of the author flyingSquirrel
    I would like to express my sincere yet extremely belated gratitude and thanks to everyone who replied.

    I've been going through a lot in my life and to be honest I was scared to read what everyone would say. I didn't feel confident that I could cope with the potentially negative comments. I should have instead focused on the value that would inevitably be generously shared. Perhaps I've got on the unfavorable side of some members but would hope that most would understand that nobody's perfect and life isn't always ideal.

    In any case the value that was shared here is very good and has given me a lot to think about, even the "tough love" and "criticism." I would have to agree with most of the things said about me, even if they are difficult to hear and make me feel worse about myself than I already do. That's life and I have to accept it.

    I admit I'm paralyzed by fear. I distract myself. I take little action. I procrastinate. I make excuses. I waste time on TV instead of taking action on my goals. It's now clear to me that my fear of competition is simply a manifestation of my own fears about myself and my lack of self-confidence and lack of self-esteem. Finding things to worry about is subconsciously a way to find something to fight against which is apparently how I've been programmed to operate due to all of the hardships I've been through in life. The internal battle has been a losing one. Recently I've become so frustrated with myself that I feel hopeless. I know I should work on my goals but I screw around and waste time. I guess the allure of having fun in escapism outweighs my desire to do what I know I should do.

    What I've come to realize is that me trying to be an entrepreneur is akin to trying to put a square peg in a round hole. It's either not going to happen OR I'm going to have to find a way to change myself in order to make it happen. I agree that the problem is me and nothing else. I realize I'll be judged for all of the things I've said and done but I also must accept that.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

      I realize I'll be judged for all of the things I've said and done but I also must accept that.
      No judgement, here. Introspection resulting in self-awareness is a beautiful thing.

      Of course, it's meaningless if you don't take the necessary steps to eradicate what you see as impediments to any future success, in business and life in general.

      You have one basic problem that creates all the other perceived flaws you bestow upon yourself. You have an incredibly poor self-image. Change that and the other issues will melt away as they are simply the accoutrement that manifest from your self-image.

      I felt like you years, ago. I was short, overweight, unattractive, no real skills or gifts, sullen, introverted, paranoid, fearful, shunned - and considered myself a total loser.

      Now, I'm short, overweight, (some things you just can't change) unattractive (but beautiful), skilled, gifted, joyous, extroverted, fearless, accepted and a total winner who succeeds at anything he puts his mind to.

      I did that. Yes - therapy helped, but no amount of therapy can help you if you are not ready to help yourself.

      First thing I would do if I were you? I would delete that last post to make the things you wrote about yourself disappear. Then I would promise myself to never write them again, anywhere, for any reason. Then I would work everyday to eliminate them from my mind by finding at least one thing you like about yourself and focusing on it, while you search for, or if necessary, create another.

      Every time you write those words, or think those thoughts, you are etching them permanently into your psyche. Etched deep enough, then can never be eliminated.

      You are, or, can become, what you tell yourself you are, or, can become. When I was at my worst and weakest I would look in the mirror each morning with disgust and tell myself how much I hated myself and how the world would be a better place without me.

      Now, I look in the mirror in the morning with the full realization that I am one of the most incredible human beings on the planet with no limits to what I can achieve, no fear of anything I may face and that if there is such a thing, then I am one of God's gifts to the world. I don't just say it - I totally believe it.

      WHY? HOW? Because I choose to. No other reason.

      I loathe trite clichés, but - a journey of a thousand miles does start with one step. Drop that excess baggage you are carrying and take that first step.

      If you don't - the life you have now - will be the life you will have until the day you die.

      How does that probability sound to you??? Then change it. STARTING NOW!!!
      Signature

      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

      . I realize I'll be judged for all of the things I've said and done but I also must accept that.
      well the rule i adopted several years ago that is not in any books .. is that if i found myself ..judging myself or using self talk .. that would make me hate ..or want to kill someone else if they where using the same words .. i would shut that self talk down ..

      it not your past or your upbringing that programs you.. it is the way you talk to yourself over and over ..

      other people judgement of you.. really should not matter to you ..as most of the time they judge you based on what you will do for them .. or what you think of them ..

      your judgement of yourself is what matters.. up to this point you have gotten in the habit of judging yourself badly .. you are not afraid or procrastinating..and i doubt you have real goals from this state ..you have wishes ..and believe if you have certain things .. people may judge you better ..

      stop lying to yourself ..and abusing yourself.. you don't have to use smoke up your arse affirmation that ring as not true when you speak them.. but you have a forest in yourlife with plenty of low hanging fruit to improve your life .. but you are looking at the big stuff .. and telling yourself how you can't do it ..

      start making the improvement in your life you can make from where you are that do not take much effort .. start with small wins and stack them ..

      learn to stop the negative self talk .. or shut it down.. when it starts .. what goes on in your head ..you have control over .. stop bating yourself up ..at least .. start there ..
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      • Profile picture of the author flyingSquirrel
        Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

        it not your past or your upbringing that programs you.. it is the way you talk to yourself over and over ..
        Well....the latter is influenced by the former, so in reality they are tied together in the beginning.
        But it is true that you can overcome the past and change how you talk to yourself
        I know because at one point in my life I had made dramatic improvements in that area...then I slid way back to where I am now, but I'm on my way back up again

        Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

        other people judgement of you.. really should not matter to you ..
        You're correct, but unfortunately this is one of the things I have most struggled with in my life. Other people's judgements of me or even my thoughts about how they might be judging me have a huge impact. I would like to get over that. Tonight I made an honest mistake in public and someone confronted me about it in front of other people. I felt so horrible and now I can't stop thinking about what everyone thinks about me (despite the fact that it was just an accident)
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        • Profile picture of the author Odahh
          Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post


          You're correct, but unfortunately this is one of the things I have most struggled with in my life. Other people's judgements of me or even my thoughts about how they might be judging me have a huge impact. I would like to get over that. Tonight I made an honest mistake in public and someone confronted me about it in front of other people. I felt so horrible and now I can't stop thinking about what everyone thinks about me (despite the fact that it was just an accident)
          well if you know it was a mistake and other do .. it was probably good you had a public confrontation.. and for the most part people will not have any lasting impression good or bad of you.. unless you make the same mistake in front of them again ..

          now if you are open to public criticism when you are actually doing something that is a mistake ..and use it to improve.. then be ok with making more mistakes in public when it leads to improvement ..

          the general problem with over valuing or placing to much stock in what others may think of you ..is that it tends to just be your imagination creating what you think they are thinking of you..

          let the people who actually open their mouths and tell you what they think of you..when you are actually doing something wrong .. be the stuff you pay attention to .. and i stress when you are actually doing something wrong.. verses .. if someone else starts telling you what you should be doing with your life .. when you have not asked them for that type of advice ..

          when you know you are messing up somewhere..and someone else points it out .. and you don't fight it and make the change you need.. other people tend to think better of you ..where as if you go on and keep making that same mistake ..then ..not so good.

          in my belief system .. and you do not have to pay what i am saying here any mind .. we create our ego as a necessary part of interacting with other human beings .. now if you are creating your ego to project who you are out to the world .. so you interact with people you want to interact with and screen out people you don't .. verse createing and ego that you hide behind to try and make as much of the world think good things about you.. while you hide behind the ego and beat yourself up .. so you start to serve the ego ..

          so it is up to you ..the world is a stage .. are you going to torture yourself trying to make people who you may never see again ..or interact with .. or talk to .. think good things about you .. or are you going to build the life you want .. that you are happy with and surround yourself with those who have a purpose for being there ...that is positive in both directions ..

          care about what the people who you actually care about and make your life better ..because you also care about them .. an make their lives better . verse trying to get large numbers of people who add nothing to your life ..try to think good thoughts about you ..

          blah blah blah..i have not had enough coffee to say this right

          if you get genuinely happy about yourself and build self awareness about what you are really good at .. and make yourself happy.. and then have the courage to surround yourself with other who can make themselves happy .. verse .. making yourself miserable and surrounding yourself with others making themselves miserable ..while expecting them to do things to make you happy and you do thing to make them happy ..

          your choice .. don't make yourself miserable and don't let others make you miserable..
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        • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
          Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

          You're correct, but unfortunately this is one of the things I have most struggled with in my life. Other people's judgements of me or even my thoughts about how they might be judging me have a huge impact. I would like to get over that. Tonight I made an honest mistake in public and someone confronted me about it in front of other people. I felt so horrible and now I can't stop thinking about what everyone thinks about me (despite the fact that it was just an accident)
          A good affirmation to counter that could be:

          "I'm a good, wonderful Person ― no matter what People think or say -- and
          I'm always learning how to be better."

          (You don't have to use that word-for-word ... It's just an example of something that you may find helpful.)

          Sometimes it's difficult to change emotions ... However a certain way is to change your thoughts. Generally speaking Thoughts lead to Emotions that lead to Actions. By changing your thoughts (maybe with an affirmation) you can change your emotions.

          And be kind to yourself: We all make mistakes.
          : )

          HTH.:
          Signature
          "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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          • Profile picture of the author Odahh
            Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

            A good affirmation to counter that could be:

            "I'm a good, wonderful Person ― not matter what People think or say -- and
            I'm always learning how to be better."

            (You don't have to use that word-for-word ... It's just an example of something that you may find helpful.)

            Sometimes it's difficult to change emotions ... However a certain way is to change your thoughts. Generally speaking Thoughts lead to Emotions that lead to Actions. By changing your thoughts (maybe with an affirmation) you can change your emotions.

            And be kind to yourself: We all make mistakes.
            : )

            HTH.:
            my affirmation concerning other people and what they may think of me runs " I am the type of person .. who thinks that sour look someone gave me is do to a toothache or they where just arguing with someone else ..and really has nothing to do with me "

            the other one that works slightly better " is i am the kind of person wo can read other people and not get offended at how they treat me ..unless they get up in my face in a threatening manor "

            readinging how people act toward you and others ..is far more effective than trying to figure out what they are thinking
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            • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
              Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

              readinging how people act toward you and others ..is far more effective than trying to figure out what they are thinking
              Too complicated. Mine's much easier.

              "You don't like something that I think, say or do? Really? Then kiss my fat dago ass and then call someone that gives a shit."

              There's nothing wrong with using a little poetry to to paint a picture for someone of how you truly feel. Effective communication is the name of the game. The message needs to be deeply imbedded in the other person's psyche, first-time, out-of-the-gate. There's nothing worse that your message being open to ambiguity. :-)
              Signature

              "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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            • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
              Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

              my affirmation concerning other people and what they may think of me runs "I am the type of person ... who thinks that sour look someone gave me is do to a toothache or they where just arguing with someone else ... and really has nothing to do with me."
              Cool: Thanks Odahh. However sometimes it's good to look at another person's reaction because (sometimes) it may be something you can learn from.
              Signature
              "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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              • Profile picture of the author Odahh
                Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

                Cool: Thanks Odahh. However sometimes it's good to look at another person's reaction because (sometimes) it may be something you can learn from.
                to a point this is true .. but i stay away from people who are overly touchy and over react to things i say or don't let things settle down .. after simple mistakes ..

                I will not put my personal mental balance or happiness on the line .. for someone taking something out on me because the real person they have a problem with is no where around..

                I judge people for weather or no i want to interact with them at this time or ever again .. and the easier people make it .. the better .. i don't care how most people are .. i care what risk they are or what benefit they are to me ..

                selfish .. but i'm not a begger i'm a chooser
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    I will give advice on what you should do considering your original post ..

    If you enjoy making these thing you where making .. i forget what you called them ..and it settles your mind and makes you feel better making them.. for the time being forget creating a business that supports you doing it ..

    If you have a real job that pays the bills ..do that .. and use your free time and extra money to make these thing and get better at it..and sell what you can online making enough to allow you to allow you to make more of them or improve the quality of what you make..

    don't put the pressure of paying the bills on it ... just make enough to pay for itself ..so you feel better about the things you make .. don't force it to be a business that needs to support you ..

    you actual should do what your passionate about because it makes you feel better .. and you sound like you need to feel better about things.. you do yourself no service trying to make a business from it at this point.. not if you have several passions you can make a little money off of..great .. but have a real job that puts a roof over your head and food on the table .. and gives you plently of free time to do your passions ..

    you can build a pretty damn successful and happy life off that
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  • Profile picture of the author oppyeaunome
    Originally Posted by flyingSquirrel View Post

    Whenever I'm checking out content, products, ideas, etc of "competitors" online, I have a mental issue... what happens is, I want to comment, interact, be part of the community of my niche, and so on. I genuinely want to - I often want to say that I really like something they are doing, or offer some comments related to it, and so on. But then....

    I always feel like if I do interact, I'm no longer under the radar, and the "competitor" will check out my content and whatever I'm doing, then steal my ideas, my content, or really anything about what I'm doing. And they will work faster and harder than I am able to (since I have a full time job) and then I will fall behind, and all of my hard work will be for their benefit.

    So basically I see a lot of these people as "competitors" and I'm fearful of doing anything that would get me noticed. I want to stay quiet and do my thing and not draw any attention. However at the same time I do feel like we have a similar interest and some stuff they are doing is cool or I can offer value in a comment, so in a way they are "my people" or "peers." But I can't get past the competition idea.

    I hate this. Please help!
    This to me is not something you should worry about. You can continue sharing information that is helpful.

    I think a bad way of looking at business is from a competitive point of view. Sure you want to be better than the other people in your niche but you also want to remember that there's enough wealth to go around.

    Start sharing and understanding that as businesses we are all thinking about the same thing and that is building something that is helpful to the people we are selling to.

    If you think about it that way you'll get much further. A good book to read which will help you to get your thinking right is the Go-giver look it up!
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    • Profile picture of the author flyingSquirrel
      Originally Posted by oppyeaunome View Post

      the Go-giver look it up!
      Thanks for all of your advice
      I just looked up the book and purchased it (audio version actually)

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  • Profile picture of the author flyingSquirrel
    Thanks to the folks that replied to my recent update post. I appreciate your support and advice.

    Interestingly, writing the "realizations" in my previous comment kind of made me feel a bit more free. It was somewhat cathartic to finally admit what the real problem was.

    The other interesting thing is that the new feelings I had, after writing that, got me to take action.

    In fact I went onto several YouTube channels for people that I would have considered "competitors" and I posted comments on their videos despite the fear. I felt it and did it anyway. I did that for a few days in a row already and will continue to be part of the community. My goal actually is to become friends with some of those people.

    I also have started making video content again and just launched a video today and one is going out friday as well, and more in editing right now.

    There are other improvements and actions I'm taking as well but I don't need to write it all out here.

    I will share one piece of info, and that is that I do have positive self esteem about certain aspects of myself. It's not 100% bad. I am quite confident about my abilities and talents in some areas. But yes, I certainly can make improvements in other areas.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    the best way to make yourself miserable ..on a day to day basis.. is to put large amounts of time effort and other resource in to making people who will never really matter to the quality of your life .. trying to make these people think better of you .. or that your life is much better
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  • Profile picture of the author manolo2
    I know we are all frightened of it but competition is a good thing and if we are not networking with like minded people then the chances of success are slim to none
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
    Competitors aren't a thing to be feared, but rather an inevitable entity which teaches you of the demand of things (and often the existence of things, you were previously unaware of) before you make any personal commitment.

    Subsequently, upon making the move, they serve as motivators and innovators from whom you can continue to learn from as they urge you to keep in the game, rather than resting on laurels.

    If this natural model weren't in place, we wouldn't be sitting at computers, using tablets or holding smartphones..

    The last and current person drives the next.

    It's a fundemental part of evolution.
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