4 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
4 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Stop Paralyzing

by hamburglar
3 replies
How many times have you been stuck in a bad state of mind? Cheated on, lost all your cash, beaten up by a bully or got your account shut down on google adsense. There are times in our life where things get very rough. When it rains it starts pouring. Its been happening to me a lot.

Our minds work in an interesting manner in which we freeze ourselves and become defensive to the situation around us. This is our instinctual flight or fight system. The flight or fight response also known as "acute stress response" is our way of dealing with extreme situations. Our ancestors had this system to help us deal with dangerous attacks in the wild i.e. getting eaten by a lion or other clans. Fast forward to 2010 and our battles become with ourselves.

Last week a client of mine called me up and wanted his changes done immediately or he threatened to sue. At that moment I was working on another project. I stopped my other project and finished his job that took me 5 hours to do. My defense system kicked in. Without thinking twice I gave in due to fear. After much reflection, I realized that he had no way to sue because he wanted additional items rather than items I already did.

Result: 2 very pissed off clients.

Breath, Relax and Let Go.

Anytime you become anxious or defensive, just stop what you are doing.
  1. Close your eyes
  2. Inhale into your belly
  3. Tune into the noise around.
  4. Exhale Slowly.

Now come back to the task and look at it from a different perspective.
#paralyzing #stop
  • Profile picture of the author aboutusnow
    Your last word - perspective - really struck me.

    I am so impressed by people that just don't quit until they get what they want - Donald Trump, President Obama, Kobe Bryant.

    Sure all of these people are superstars in what they do, but they have a mindset of not being denied. There is a certain self-confidence you must have that what you are doing is going to work.

    So when I start to lose my cool, I sit back and think of it from another perspective. I could be searching for my missing family members beneath tons of steel, brick, and debris. Instead, all I have to worry about is making money online.

    It could be a whole lot worse.
    Signature
    postcard printers
    how to get a small business loan
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1627278].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Arinal
    Totally agree. Perspective and self control are key.
    There is an interesting article on Natural Laws of Achievement (and why people are often violate them). It's rather long, but you can scroll down to the paragraph that covers the Law of Perspective - how one may reflect on the circumstances and make sure he/she reacts properly. In his "Rainbow..." book, Bill Truby offers a technique of one imagining looking at oneself act as another person (like watching yourself in the movie - on the screen). Often that helps prevent all sorts of negative reactions we often have to somebody who stresses us out.

    In situations like you described I usually think to myself: "a year from now, will this really matter?" or "will this really have any impact on where I'll be in a year and the life I'll be living?" In most instances the answer is "No."

    Also, I read in "Don't sweat the small stuff" that it's good to tell yourself: "This person is trying me to teach his/her something (usually patience)." That's a good technique.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1633638].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author saintemp
    One great thing to do when fear or anxiety grips is to think of what I can learn from the situation. It may be something about myself, the other person, how to draw from previous similar situations, etc. This helps me define the problem better so that I will know what to do.
    Signature

    ==> Click Here for a FREE report based on interviews with IM gurus Jeff Dedrick, Reed Floren, Ian del Carmen, James Francis and Edmund Loh on how to make more than 400% ROI on ebooks and digital products guaranteed.
    ==> Visit my blog and subscribe to my newsletter for some great tips on how to build your IM business from the ground up

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1633863].message }}

Trending Topics