When do you give up your goal?

by Arinal
47 replies
I decided to make a career switch, a fairly drastic one. Some say what I have in mind is unrealistic. At the same time, I try not to listen to the ney sayers, stay focused and determined to achieve my goal. It is very difficult, however. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and hear myself saying: "What on earth are you thinking? This is insane. You live in the fantasy land."

How do you balance reality and fantasy. When do you turn to yourself and say: "Let's be honest and realistic. It's time to be real and not waste time." I struggle with this often. Do you have an opinion?
#determination #give #goal #persistence #purpose #reason
  • Profile picture of the author saintemp
    I gave up my career to become a pastor in a church and took a 50% pay cut at the same time. Everyone thought I was mad. But I stuck with it. That was many years ago.

    Now I am no longer pastoring and I do internet marketing instead. Some people still think I'm mad, the only difference is the flak now is less than before because not many people know what an internet marketer does

    But what I'm saying is, don't give up on your dreams. What you should do is find a mentor, someone who has been or is doing what you want to do now. Be guided by this mentor, bounce ideas of him/her. He/she will be a good source of encouragement when you need it.

    Hope that helps. Take care.
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    • Profile picture of the author webwriter
      Ever since I began working, I was determined to work for myself. As a result, I wound up losing each job I had because I quit or (deliberately performed badly) was fired. My fantasy was having money come to me via something I made and sold, rather than my going out every day just to earn what my employer believed I should earn.

      Today, I have almost reached that goal. I work as a professor online and have a lot of flexibility. My only problem is that the pay stinks---every other month, I get a few hundred dollars if I'm lucky. In between, I get a few thousand.

      I'm focusing on making it as an Internet marketer and being my own boss and loving every minute of it, especially since the money (hopefully) will be better.
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  • Profile picture of the author SmartEntrepreneur
    To me the key is to set up a series of "tollgates" or stairsteps to your goal. I am not sure if you have ever heard about reverse engineering an outcome, but it works like this.

    1. Take your ultimate outcome, and determine what that looks like, and how to measure it.
    2. Using some visualization, determine what actions you would have taken to achieve that outcome.
    3. List that list in reverse...how did you get to the success point that you wanted.
    4. Create an action list, and timeline that you are willing to live with for each step.
    5. Start taking massive action to achieve your first "tollgate"

    Above all else...don't abandon your dream. You can put it on hold, or do it part time, etc. If it isnt working in full right now, that doesnt mean it wont, or that you should completely abandon it.

    Hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author AwesomePossum
    Arinal,

    The fact of the matter is that the only line that exists between fantasy and reality and I wholeheartedly believe that it lies in our thoughts.
    Don't let others sway you of your judgment and rob you from acheiving your goal and More importantly, don't rob yourself of your goal(not fantasy) If you have doubts they will inevitably come up and bite you, on the other hand if you have nothing but success on your mind failure truly isn't an option. There will be bumps in the road sure, but you're here because you're meant to be. Have faith in your decisions.

    I really hopes this helps
    Aaryn
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    • Profile picture of the author Richgirl
      Hi Arinal,

      Totally understand what you are feeling, but let me add my two cents worth to the fantastic comments above!

      1. You create your own reality. (This I have learnt to be very true). Most peoples 'reality' is based on pure fear, rather than hope. It's easy to be cynical.

      2. Just because someone else can't do it, doesn't mean you can't. They were given a specific set of skills at birth, and you were given yours. The fact that you have created/been given this goal means it is meant to be done - by you. It may be harder than 'the easy way' but its also more rewarding.

      3. Regarding thinking you are crazy for having goals, no you aren't, you have just been given a different mind to the people around you (have the same problem!), so they just don't 'get it'. Ignore it, and carry on regardless! You wouldn't want someone to give up their goals because of a comment you made, would you? Also get around like minded people, even if only here at WF! Books are good, too. Sometimes its best to keep quiet about your goals until you have had some success, as it is precious and needs nurturing initially.

      4. As you take small steps towards your goal, the success will motivate you to believe in yourself more, so make sure you take lots of ACTION, and begin with the end (result) in mind.

      Keep going, and only give up when you want to acknowledge yourself as a failure. But you know you can do it deep down, don't you, or you would never have started on this path in the first place!

      Keep smiling, take focused action, and you will inevitably get there!

      Shell
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    It depends on the goal itself. If you're five feet tall and are trying to become an NBA superstar you've got problems. I'd say you have to look at how realistic your goal was in the first place and then adjust from there.
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    • Profile picture of the author Steve Dailly
      I agree totally with travellin guy, goals are meant to stretch us, not to be completely unobtainable; if there is no possible way to achieve them.

      goals should be realistic but challenging at the same. Each person has to decide on how much they want to challenge themselves and how hard getting the goal should be.

      Even a series of minor goals leading to major goal, can get momentum and motivation going for you to try and achieve a major goal.
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      • Profile picture of the author davidjames42973
        Whatever you do, don't doubt yourself. When you doubt yourself, you're taking a step back from making your reality come true.

        Just know that it will happen...
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    • Profile picture of the author HomeComputerGames
      Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

      It depends on the goal itself. If you're five feet tall and are trying to become an NBA superstar you've got problems. I'd say you have to look at how realistic your goal was in the first place and then adjust from there.
      Muggsy Bogues - 5' 3" NBA player for 14 seasons - not quite superstar but he gave it hell
      Muggsy Bogues - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

      The thing is we only get one chance at this life thing.
      So you can stay safe in security, taking no risks and waiting to die, or you can enjoy the journey life has to offer.
      If you fail at least you tried and no longer have to wonder if you should have taken the chance. What you really did was learn and had an exciting time doing it and are now more prepared for the next adventure.
      And of course there is always the silly chance you just might succeed....
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  • Profile picture of the author AwesomePossum
    Something RichGirl brought up reminded me of something that you might like Arinal; Short but sweet.
    "WHO decides what can and can't be done anyways?"
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  • Profile picture of the author Marketstriker
    I gave up a few goals when they became useless. Time made these goals useless to achieve. In my case I tried to reach a managing position. After two years of efforts I gave it up, because found some other organizations that proposed me more opportunities for professional and career development. In this situation it was smart. The goal was changed, but not the dream.
    So don't give up dreams!
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  • Profile picture of the author wemakeiteasy
    Give up your goal, when you realize it's too unrealistic... Or when you've changed your paradigm, mindset, or priorities in life.
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  • Profile picture of the author trevor75
    I know how you feel. I was in law for over 15 years, then one day I just enough and walked away. I started my own company because I new in my heart it was the right thing for me. I started out in real estate investment, but the the big housing bubble burst, talk about bad timing, LoL I didn't give up though, I thought ok..what else could I do, I went to a IM Guru seminar. Liked what I saw, that was 3 years ago. Look we all know this business isn't easy, but my god they pay offs are worth it alone. Don't give up, it's only a matter of time. I know everybody says that, but it is true. You have to build up your business. If you quit you'll never make it. Now thats a fact. If you need someone to help coach you on, I'd be glad to do it. We could help each other reach our goals. Don't ever feel like your alone, thats the worst thing about IM. Sometimes you just feel lost and alone. Your not. I've made more friends in this business than I ever made working in a 9-5 job, thats for sure!
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  • Profile picture of the author Nemanja
    I will never give up my goals and dreams and when I finally give up this will be when I'm 2 meters below surface.

    Nemanja
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  • Profile picture of the author Rick1
    Believe in you....everything is possible
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  • Profile picture of the author Trey Walter
    I usually use my reason as guide. So before I attempt to try out anything, I take a moment to think about it. And if I have come to the conclusion that I should do it, then I'll do it.

    There's no real giving up for me. Sometimes I need to adapt my planned approach a little bit but I pretty much stick to my goals.

    If you want to be successful, you need to make it a habit to not give up.

    Sometimes you gotta do something crazy. Or do you want to live one of those common standard lives without real surprises?
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  • Profile picture of the author GaryJBloomer
    Dear Arinal,

    Take your goal and break it down into smaller chunks. Then ask yourself "How will i solve THIS part of the goal? Then work on that part and ONLY on that part until you are able to move on to the next part. It's not about giving up, it's about asking "What do I need to do within the next week to solve THIS specific part of the puzzle?" By giving up on the goal might you be giving up on yourself? You at least owe it to yourself to give your goal your best efforts. I hope this helps. --Gary B.
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  • Profile picture of the author Allicin
    In one word... NEVER!! Giving up on your goals means giving up on your dreams !! Who would wanna do that?! I don't think anything is impossible as long as you believe you can get there... You need to believe in yourself cos the doubts you seem to have are only going to hold you back... and supposed it was only a dream... Well if it makes you feel good, that's all that matters... means you have the right thoughts... the ones that will propel you forward... Believe in your dreams, work towards them and you'll get there... 1000's have done it before you... no reasons why you cant!
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    • Profile picture of the author DayDreamBeliever
      Hey Arinal,

      Don't give up on your dreams but at the same time read reality as honestly as possible.

      Set small goals and move forward one step at a time. Get out a calendar and plan.

      Start tracking your progress and adjust what you need to do.

      Above all, stay busy. Nothing like working towards something to keep worry to a minimum.

      You also have this forum so that's some weight off your shoulders.

      - Jon
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  • Profile picture of the author retirein12
    First you must Plan because if you don't then you plan to fail. Then whatever Goal you set you will achieve I just believe that - So I'm saying never, never, never give you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mindy Madden
    First you do need a plan. Try to make goals that are possible. Once youreach them, move on to bigger goals.

    Its never a waste of time when your working toward a goal or dream. So many people just settle rather than making them a reality. Don't become one of them. You can do anything you set your mind to!
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  • Profile picture of the author techinik
    Originally Posted by Arinal View Post

    I decided to make a career switch, a fairly drastic one. Some say what I have in mind is unrealistic. At the same time, I try not to listen to the ney sayers, stay focused and determined to achieve my goal. It is very difficult, however. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and hear myself saying: "What on earth are you thinking? This is insane. You live in the fantasy land."

    How do you balance reality and fantasy. When do you turn to yourself and say: "Let's be honest and realistic. It's time to be real and not waste time." I struggle with this often. Do you have an opinion?
    Everything is realistic as long as you believe in it.

    I remember Will Smith quote(I don't know whether he created himself or borrowed it) -
    Why be realistic? - These simple words carry a lot of things in it and I want you to understand it yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author TJCarter
    Watch ya

    When l first started to try a make money online l made the mistake of spending my hard earn cash on this so called guru's who promised me they could teach me how to make me money on the internet, but the information they were giving me was rubbish. It seemed l was getting nowhere, so l gave up. But luckily l gave it another ago. My mistake before was that l was always chasing the next big thing until one day a friend of mine told me lm must concentrate on one thing at a time, became a expert on that one thing then move on to the next thing. You got to understand there is so much to learn.

    For me getting the first sale was the hardest, now lm making a decent living out of internet marketing.

    Don't give up.

    Good luck with your future
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  • Profile picture of the author Geenius
    I have to agree with Saintemp.

    Get a mentor to help you with whatever goal you decide to achieve, because they are already there where you want to be and constantly being with them and learning from them little by little will encourage you to achieve it.

    Remember winners never quit, and quitters never win.

    good luck and all the best Arinal
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  • Profile picture of the author badboy_Nick
    Originally Posted by Arinal View Post

    I decided to make a career switch, a fairly drastic one. Some say what I have in mind is unrealistic. At the same time, I try not to listen to the ney sayers, stay focused and determined to achieve my goal. It is very difficult, however. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and hear myself saying: "What on earth are you thinking? This is insane. You live in the fantasy land."

    How do you balance reality and fantasy. When do you turn to yourself and say: "Let's be honest and realistic. It's time to be real and not waste time." I struggle with this often. Do you have an opinion?
    If you want to make it out there, you simply CANT give up. You may want to try something else but you always have to follow your dream and believe. Doesnt matter if you fail, whats worse if you look back in 20 years and say to yourself: man, I wish I tried a little bit harder. The worst thing IMO is not trying at all!
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  • Profile picture of the author Aira Bongco
    Here is the thing. There are two types of income. Active and passive. Your day job is only active income. Once you stop working, you stop earning. But passive income is different. You will keep on earning even if you stop working because you will be substituting other people's time and efforts for your own work.
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  • Profile picture of the author ScottCofer
    My one piece of advice - a mindset really - comes from Will Smith (believe it or not a BIG student of personal development):

    "There's no reason to have a Plan B, because it distracts from Plan A."

    and ...

    "Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity."

    If you haven't seen it yet, watch the Will's Wisdom video on YouTube. Just do a search for "Will's Wisdom". It is excellent ...

    Best of luck on your Plan A,
    Scott
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  • Profile picture of the author samurai-x
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author ClientTell
      When I don't have any available choices, then yes, I think its time that I would give up on my goal and move on.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jim Gillum
    Nothing beats a failure but a try.......If your dream is realistic and you don't go for it you could hate yourself when you get old......(like me)

    I quit a decent job, took a 30% pay cut, to chase a dream.......15 years later I reached the top of my profession.....I can grow old with many personal victories on my score board....

    Now I am chasing new dreams.....I will stop when I die...
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  • Profile picture of the author JayPeete
    Hi Arinal,

    My take on this is to have absolute certainty. This is something that I learned from Tony Robbins. Just believing that you can do something is often not enough, you have to be certain. When you're certain your subconscious mind will be convinced and when that happens then it's just a matter of time before you reach your goals...

    This is a very simplistic example but it works just the same. When you're crossing the street, do you believe that you are going to reach the other side or are you certain that you will get to the other side?

    Finally I'm going to mention something that I heard from Lisa Nichols of The Secret. She was being interviewed by Ellie Drake and said to know that some parts of your journey you will have to walk alone. What she meant was that there might be times that no one will understand or even support your decision to do something that you aspire to do. During those times you will be alone in your decision(s) but if you have a "know matter what" attitude you will eventually reach your goal(s).

    I hope that I have been able to inspire you, for that was my intention.

    Take care and never quit!

    Jay
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    • Profile picture of the author turntwo21
      This is a really inspiring thread. I think one common denominator between everyone on this board is the desire to one day be self-employed.

      Great to have a support group like this to push us to make it happen.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sue McDonald
    Never give up your dreams if you truly know they are achievable. If you can pay for your needs in life you can often go without your want (like going to the gym or buying the fancy car) until you have achieved the goals you have set for yourself. Edison tried 10,000 to perfect the light bulb and he succeed - he never gave up.
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  • Profile picture of the author GaryJBloomer
    Dear Arinal

    "Achieving the Heights". That's what it says below your name. How can you achieve those heights if you're willing to step down, step back, and quit?

    When do you give up your goals? You don't.

    The difference between success and failure is the distance you're willing to go, it's the difference you're willing to make, it's the example you are willing to give and the sacrifice you are willing to make in order to prove you can do it.

    Arinal, achieving the heights means stepping out, sometimes on a pretty skinny limb.

    Trust in your self. BELIEVE in yourself. And don't quit.

    I hope this helps. Good luck to you. --Gary B.
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    Top 10 contributor to the Know-How Exchange of MarketingProfs.com (a site with 360,000 registered users), and an award-winning graphic designer and copywriter. Read my modest blog and you'll find I'm a direct response marketing advocate, and all round nice guy. Got a question about marketing or graphic design? Ask and I'll do as much as I can to help you. Follow me on Twitter. Or connect with me on Facebook.

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  • Profile picture of the author GforceSage
    You don't always have to give up your goal. Sometimes you have to create a new, more reachable goal that you must endure in order to move back towards your original goal.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mattias
    I give up my goal when I have completed it, then I'm going for my next goal.
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  • Profile picture of the author infinityplr
    When to give up your goal? It is when you have found another goal where you can actually reach. But most of the time you don't give up your goal. You just put it side and find another means to get it.
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    GO. MOVE. Keep GOING! Even with the smallest steps and slower paces, the important thing is you are NOT STOPPING! You'll get there!
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  • Profile picture of the author jaasmit
    Before setting any target or aim in your life you also need to make some back up plans.
    Because all the time everything does not go in your ways.
    Anything might go wrong at any time.
    So we all need be prepared for that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kragsig
    If you have the interest in achieving a goal, the shift you did will be a wise shift. As long you can motivate yourself and you take action, you will succeed in everything you try out!

    Some people will tell you to be realistic and somebody will hope you're not succeeding, just because they never do anything new themselves. You just need to ignore all negative inputs. One are saying that you need 10 positive inputs to forget 1 negative input!

    Just ask yourself: "Why let the negative opinions affect me, when they are from people, who do not know what they're talking about?!".

    No retreat, no surrender, NEVER give up!
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Ten
    I will never give up goals. I only evolve and change my goal, when the current approach/strategy is not working. Some goals will not change.
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  • Profile picture of the author ebiz1
    When to give up on your goal? Never.
    If you are still very far away, just keep looking around for more ways to get closer. When your eyes are open towards your goal, you'll see that there are more solutions than you ever thought. Its like when you're looking to buy a new car, a specific model, all of a sudden, you see more and more people around you driving that car! until now you hadn't realized how many they were, because you did not put any attention to it....until now! Just do this test and you'll see...
    Dont change your goal, just the path towards it, if the current one is not getting you any closer quick enough!
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  • Profile picture of the author KickAss Marketing
    Never. You are setting a goal to reach it so giving up is not an option. What ever your goal is you know you can reach it because i'm sure you have thought about this a lot of times even before you start doing it. Be persistent.
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