Self esteem taking a bashing?

9 replies
Hey fellow Warriors,

I guess you've got to be thick skinned in this making money on-line world. For some reason, people who don't know you, seem to think they have a right to be nasty, rude, or spread bull crap about you.

But what do you do if, like me, you don't have rhino hide for skin?

Well I've found this simple exercise really useful:

Make a list of 20 reasons why you are not like 'They' say you are. Put it somewhere in your work space where you can see it.

Here are 3 of mine to give you an idea:

  1. I have made 68 free posts on my blog, and add at least 5 more quality posts a week.
  2. I have paid over £18 000 to learn these skills
  3. I practice what I teach and the people who know me, tell me that I am genuine and the real deal.
You get the picture.

What do you do to stop 'them' grinding you down? I'd love to know more, because I believe 'they' can really knock your confidence and stop you in your tracks if you're not prepared.

Unless of course I'm the only one that gets upset by receiving negative crap from people who don't even know me.

Looking forward to your replies.

Kindest regards

#bashing #esteem #self confidence #taking
  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi Marcus,

    That's a great idea. Thanks for sharing

    I impress this idea on my mind: Anybody who criticizes you is miserable with themselves. Life is a mirror; what we see on the outside is the result of what's happening on the inside. Whatever a person complains over is not about you. We tend to take things personally but try to lose that habit. Remember this Wayne Dyer quote:

    "How a person treats you is their karma. How you respond is yours."

    I watch my feelings for a few minutes after running into an unhappy person, take a few deep breaths and let them go. With time this response comes a habit. You learn that miserable people are bathing in their own misery and not to jump in the tub with them.
    Ryan Biddulph inspires you to be a successful blogger with his courses, 100 plus eBooks, audio books and blog at Blogging From Paradise
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  • Profile picture of the author Imran Naseem
    It happens to me all the time.

    People want to beat me up, steal my wallet, tear me up, punch me in the face... but they never tried as of yet!

    I notice its most losers on other forums who have nothing better to do, and they don't even know you!


    I still keep making money and never let them knock me down. Always be confident in yourself and be successful
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    • Profile picture of the author LindseyRainwater
      Thank you Marcus! That is really a great idea.

      I have a tendency to let people get under my skin way too easily. Most days I can shrug things off and keep moving, but other days I just want to throw up my hands and say "to hell with the world."

      This is really a fantastic way for people to yank themselves back up by their bootstraps and keep going, knowing they are every bit as good as those who attack them, if not better.

      I'll go make my list right now and put it right in the middle of my cork-board so I'll see it every time I look up from the computer.
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      • Profile picture of the author ShaneBoyd

        Something I learned from Dan Kennedy years ago is this. Only worry about the people that give you money. The others can stick it.

        Something else I learned from Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee (no, I never met them). But here's what I read.

        Take the negative comments, or your negative feelings about the comments, write them down on a piece of paper, then burn the paper. The unhappy thoughts are gone and so are the negative comments.

        Good luck Marcus. I'm sure you're doing a great job at whatever it is you're up to.


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  • Profile picture of the author jborjaperez
    Hey Marcus,

    Just remember that those who are judging you don't pay your bills, and really have no impact on how your life is or will turn out. Do what you do best, which is be you. You don't need approval from anyone, especially on a forum.

    And besides, the nastiest and most rude ones are the ones that aren't destined to be great.. Surround yourself with the positive people, and your life will stay positive.

    hehe, good luck to you in all your ventures my friend. I will see you at the finish line.

    P.S. - You've paid all that money, wouldn't mind if you share some of that knowledge!

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    • Profile picture of the author Dayton Keeran
      The world is FULL of negative people! Wherever you go in the world it's there in some form. You can NEVER escape it, you just have to know how to deal with it.

      Surround yourself with as many positive people as possible and make a rule to yourself that anyone who indulges in unconstructive criticism on a constant basis is no longer worth being around.

      I made this decision a few years ago when i first started working online and getting into motivational and positive thinking. The amount of negativity towards what i was doing was incredible. It was coming from EVERYWHERE! Even family and so called friends were having a go. I dropped all of them and now a few years down the line when i see them, they are still moaning and complaining about how hard done by they have been in life.

      Believe me, these kind of people don't deserve your time and energy. Just keep on moving forward, drop the people in your life who don't contribute anything positive and keep focused, motivated and persisting and while you have a goal in life the others will forever stand still.

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  • Profile picture of the author tyroneshum
    True! It's like pulling things in contrast because you have to tell yourself you're not like that because you're GREAT! The only man that perfectly knows oneself is himself and so no one could ever judge your weaknesses.
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  • Profile picture of the author minitg
    People who feel good about themselves have internalized a very personal decision to affirm and value themselves for who they are. Their self-regard is unconditional. It does not depend upon pleasing others, how much they possess, nor how well they perform. Therefore, we must prevail and not allow anyone to bring our self esteem down.

    Some people were fortunate and able to make this decision, quite unconsciously, as children. They received positive messages which became the basis of their identities and self-worth.

    Others made this decision as adults. They may have experienced a difficult childhood, but have since challenged earlier messages and redecided in favor of feeling good about themselves.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike Murphy
    I try to never let others get me down as people who don't know me....don't know me!

    Some just carry so much negative crap inside that it's amazing they make it out of bed in the morning.

    I heard a couple of cool stories to this effect recently and I'll share one....

    A guy jumps in a cab and the cab starts to drive away. Just as they get going down the street, a car races out in front of them, tires screeching and the driver yelling obscenities at the cab driver. The cab driver slams on the brakes and the other car narrowly misses the cab by about an inch and speeds away.

    The cab driver smiles and calmly says "garbage truck..."

    The passenger is amazed and asks the cab driver how he can be so calm and happy when the driver could have just killed them. How could he not be upset with the driver.

    The cab driver replies "we are safe and I am not angry with the driver because some people carry around so much anger and frustration that they are like emotional garbage trucks, bound and determined to have a terrible day. I do not want to take on their garbage thinking and angst so I calmly say garbage truck to remind me to leave the burden with thos who seem to enjoy carrying it around."

    Long story short, let others carry around the negativity and anger while you stay busy enjoying your life and all that you're fortunate enough to have in it....
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