Personal Development Failure

33 replies
I had a question for the entire audience out here tonight. I comtemplated this idea not too long ago, but I need a new perspective on things.

Why do you think most people who buy self help books

1. Don't believe in the material.
2. Never make a change in their life.

or

3. Doesn't let the message rely long enough for positive change?

Why does the greatest ideas from the greatest thinkers in the world seep in and out of the consciousness of man and never stay rigidly in place?How can we save these people? Can they be saved? Why do you think they never fall through with their commitments?

I'll await your response.
#development #failure #personal
  • Profile picture of the author Dio123
    I would say that one of the biggest reasons is that people want overnight success and dont want to have to work for it. They just want someone to come along and pretty much give them thousands of dollars a day so they can just sit back and relax. But you need to work for it which most people dont understand.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2414058].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Lack of persistence seems to bring personal development to a halt in some.

    This is a 24-7, 365 deal here. Personal development is a moment by moment endeavor. When enthusiasm wanes after hours, days, weeks or months personal development becomes personal stagnation.

    Until your desire to improve border on an obsession it will be difficult to stick to personal development in the long term.

    Ryan Biddulph
    Signature
    Ryan Biddulph inspires you to be a successful blogger with his courses, 100 plus eBooks, audio books and blog at Blogging From Paradise
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2414485].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Richnana
      I agree with you. It is procrastination. We have the idea that this change will happen quick and fast and takes little effort. The truth is it is really hard work and must be persistent continual and done with commitment
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2421859].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Broyde
        I believe the reason why people read the books and still don't succeed is for a number of reasons.

        They read the book, but some important question they had has not been answered and so they don't move.

        It may be that the instructions about what to do seem overwhelming. This is similar to the way that newbies get information overload and so they do nothing.

        So there you have it, either it is too much, or too little information.

        It is all about the motivation that they have. If they are not sufficiently motivated to believe that the information will work for them why should they try.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2421938].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author thedropoutkid
        Originally Posted by Richnana View Post

        I agree with you. It is procrastination. We have the idea that this change will happen quick and fast and takes little effort. The truth is it is really hard work and must be persistent continual and done with commitment
        Who do you agree with?
        Signature

        Don't Be a Dropout
        Drop into Success
        TheDropoutKid.com

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2422183].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Ori_G
    I have ot agree with the previous 2 replies - I think most people out there buy the book because they WANT to change the same way most people will join a gym because they WANT to get fit, but when it actually comes down to doing the daily actions, people are WAAAY to stuck in their comfort zones (most of the time) to take the necessary steps for a long enough period of time to reap the full rewards.

    Basically, if there was a single pill people could take to become successful, I think everyone in the world would have bought and taken it, but when it takes doing things and expending energy on a daily basis so as to become a success, that is where you find most of the people TALK a good game, but just don't play it.

    ... In truth, though, I think that is AWESOME - Simply be one of the .001% of people who do follow through and you have an entire work-force of lazy buggers beneath you to help keep you at the top!
    and the funny thing is about these people is, as you said, even if you told them exactly what to do to become successful wouldn't do it consistently enough.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2414649].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author thedropoutkid
      Originally Posted by Ori_G View Post

      I have ot agree with the previous 2 replies - I think most people out there buy the book because they WANT to change the same way most people will join a gym because they WANT to get fit, but when it actually comes down to doing the daily actions, people are WAAAY to stuck in their comfort zones (most of the time) to take the necessary steps for a long enough period of time to reap the full rewards.

      Basically, if there was a single pill people could take to become successful, I think everyone in the world would have bought and taken it, but when it takes doing things and expending energy on a daily basis so as to become a success, that is where you find most of the people TALK a good game, but just don't play it.

      ... In truth, though, I think that is AWESOME - Simply be one of the .001% of people who do follow through and you have an entire work-force of lazy buggers beneath you to help keep you at the top!
      and the funny thing is about these people is, as you said, even if you told them exactly what to do to become successful wouldn't do it consistently enough.
      I guess the strong will outweigh the weak in the end right?
      Signature

      Don't Be a Dropout
      Drop into Success
      TheDropoutKid.com

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2415505].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Ori_G
        Originally Posted by thedropoutkid View Post

        I guess the strong will outweigh the weak in the end right?
        The strong of commitment and endurance, that is will outweigh the ones too comfrotable to truly take the neccessary actions.

        ... Just my feelings, though
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2415527].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author suwubee
    Banned
    [DELETED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2414939].message }}
    • A truly great thinker would use their actions to prove his idea, not only with the commitment.
      This is why they are a great thinker.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2414945].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author USGTMauthor
    I have found many people do not believe the material will work and/or tweak it so they are not following the system. I gave a bunch of my ebook away to do a beta test with the idea people would use the system and report back. Many people used it as an opportunity to get the material for free. So far the people who used the system are reporting great success, but that is a small percentage of the people who received the system. So I think some people actually search much more than they implement. When I was searching I read the SOGR and stopped there, it had all I need. I then developed my action based plan around the "concepts" since SOGR is not specific and I was on my way. If I kept searching I would not have taken action.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2415659].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Vogin
      There are two major groups buying these books.

      A) non-determined, unsure, sad and negative people who don't really want to change their lives

      B) People that want to change and are just looking for guidance.


      Notice the order - first, you have to decide for change and then can guidance help you, not the other way around.
      Signature

      ppcsluzby.cz/en - PPC agency


      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2416288].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author schoemoney
    umm... buying a book has never helped me improve my life.

    reading it is one step closer... but very far away still.

    acting on it. now that's a different story.

    I suppose many self-help book buyers are simply addicted to buying self-help books. they need to get their monthly/weekly/daily/hourly fix - and that's exactly what one more self-help book can do for them.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2416554].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author thedropoutkid
      Originally Posted by schoemoney View Post

      umm... buying a book has never helped me improve my life.

      reading it is one step closer... but very far away still.

      acting on it. now that's a different story.

      I suppose many self-help book buyers are simply addicted to buying self-help books. they need to get their monthly/weekly/daily/hourly fix - and that's exactly what one more self-help book can do for them.
      It funny how you brought up people being addicted to buying self help books. Because I just caught this vid.. check it out everyone.


      Signature

      Don't Be a Dropout
      Drop into Success
      TheDropoutKid.com

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2416868].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Will Edwards
        Originally Posted by thedropoutkid View Post

        It funny how you brought up people being addicted to buying self help books. Because I just caught this vid.. check it out everyone.


        YouTube - This MORON says Personal Development is a Scam!
        I thought the video was interesting.

        Supposing you went to see a doctor and told him about an array of symptoms you were experiencing. Suppose he examined you and diagnosed your condition and gave you a plan to improve things. Just as an example, say he suggested that you needed to change your diet. Maybe give up alcohol or something like that.

        Some people would take that advice, make the change and reap the benefits of an improved lifestyle. Other people would ignore the advice or try for a while and then just give up.

        As a consequence, those who continue with the bad diet might eventually begin to experience another set of symptoms.

        So imagine one of these guys goes back to see the doctor again. The doctor examines him and comments that he can't understand why the diet he had proposed didn't seem to be working. After a bit of questioning, he figures out that the person had not been following the new diet, so he gives him another chunk of advice about how he could work on his addictions.

        Some people might take that advice. Other people would ignore it or try for a bit and then give up.

        As a consequence, the poor diet means that those who continue to ignore the advice continue to suffer from the condition, continue to experience more serious symptoms and continue to seek advice only to be told the same things that they continue to ignore.

        It's exactly the same thing with self help books.

        It takes effort to change, but only a few dollars to get more advice.

        That's my 2c on the matter.

        Will
        Signature
        Is This The World's Easiest Way to Make Money?

        Click Here to Find Out
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5093258].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MichaelF
    One can only save oneself.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2417334].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author thedropoutkid
      Originally Posted by MichaelF View Post

      One can only save oneself.
      I wish I was taught this in grade school
      Signature

      Don't Be a Dropout
      Drop into Success
      TheDropoutKid.com

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2419247].message }}
  • I think for some its easier to stay negative changing your outlook and your life can seem like hardwork so its easier to right it of as rubbish and make it another thing to bitch and moan about, you have to really want to change your life to retrain your brain from negative to positive the tools are there through things like self help books you just have to be ready to use them
    Signature
    http://www.listbuildinggurusecrets.com/
    free list building video
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2419264].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Lefty4237
    Pretty much everyone wants to change something. Problem is that the subconscious mind functions in 5 different areas of the brain simultaneously (scientifically proven) while the conscious mind only functions in 1. Therefore, trying to use will power is only using 1/6 of your brain power.

    Add to this, the human brain is pre-programmed to be negative through genetic DNA, childhood training and lessons learned from life experiences. Therefore, while we try to change on a conscious level, the subconscious (specifically the amygdala) functions to keep us exactly as we are right now - safe - even if it is not what we consciously want.

    Unless someone actually learns how to retrain their subconscious to be in harmony with their conscious desires/goals, ultimately they will either fail or at best gain temporary success only to be drawn back to their original state (think lottery winner who ends up broke again).

    There are numerous techniques to retrain the subconscious. If you don't mind making the effort, you can go here http://www.best-self-help-sites.com/...our-brain.html to get a free report I wrote about creating new neural pathways in the subconscious.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2420315].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Sandra Martinez
    There are many issues with self help books... but what I would say happen with most people is that they are actually happy with their lives.

    They are happy with their lives, but they are bombarded with information that tries to make them feel bad about it. Whether it is the finances, the body, the teeth... whatever.

    this induce shame of themselves at ego level. And they look for ways out.

    But the self knows best, and the self knows that is a good life.

    And no matter how hard your mind tries to do something, if the heart is not in the same page, you are done.

    So, a normal life becomes a problem. It loses the bright dust it should have, and people look for self help books to recover it. To recover that feeling of being in love with their own life and everything and everyone it it.

    About the subconscious mind... this is another level of the game. The shamanic traditions call it to "wrestle your demon", and if that initiation stage is surpassed, you get access to the macro conciousness and all its information. but I don't really know why "normal" people would want to go there before time. It is not necessary unless you have a higher call.

    Everyone gets the chance to dismantle the subconscious during the period known as the dark night of the soul. That is the best moment to do it, as the pain gives you the tools to take care of business. Unfortunately, lately, most are diagnosed of depression or whatever... and/or drugged. So they never get to the second level of evolution.

    Sandra
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2420560].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author thedropoutkid
    Thanks for all your replies, many of you have said some righteous things.

    Hey Sandra, Your right about the subconsciousness and the dark night of the soul
    and lefty you are correct for everyone is already programed and needs to be able to create a new mind set

    But I also have a question for all of you. Aren't these people necessary? I mean aren't they the yin in the yang. For example there can't be police officers if there isn't any criminals to arrest and i correct? Unless they just run around arresting innocent people?

    So if we didn't have unsuccessful people, there wouldn't be any such thing as success. So I guess what I'm saying is, aren't these people just what a necessity?
    Signature

    Don't Be a Dropout
    Drop into Success
    TheDropoutKid.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2420770].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Sandra Martinez
      Originally Posted by thedropoutkid View Post

      Hey Sandra, Your right about the subconsciousness and the dark night of the soul


      Originally Posted by thedropoutkid View Post

      But I also have a question for all of you. Aren't these people necessary? I mean aren't they the yin in the yang. For example there can't be police officers if there isn't any criminals to arrest and i correct? Unless they just run around arresting innocent people?

      So if we didn't have unsuccessful people, there wouldn't be any such thing as success. So I guess what I'm saying is, aren't these people just what a necessity?
      I don't think so. This is an ego need in the way you put it. Rephrasing: "To show when someone is successful, then there have to be losers..."

      In reality, every single person in the planet has a call, a private agenda, each one has a song to sing. Most of the songs will not be flashy, and it is ok.

      In any tribe, there was 1 leader, and 1 shaman for, how many? 50-100 people? That is probably the natural proportion.

      Sandra
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2420907].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author thedropoutkid
        Originally Posted by Sandra Martinez View Post





        I don't think so. This is an ego need in the way you put it. Rephrasing: "To show when someone is successful, then there have to be losers..."

        In reality, every single person in the planet has a call, a private agenda, each one has a song to sing. Most of the songs will not be flashy, and it is ok.

        In any tribe, there was 1 leader, and 1 shaman for, how many? 50-100 people? That is probably the natural proportion.

        Sandra
        So your saying everyone success doesn't have to be proportional to Eminem's or Henry Fords. You mean everyone can have there own little success and be happy. Is this what your saying?
        Signature

        Don't Be a Dropout
        Drop into Success
        TheDropoutKid.com

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2421829].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author GetItDone
    sometimes people need to purchase more book shelves to hold all the self-help books. and really they truly are comfortable with what they are doing, but love to whine instead. I agree sometimes only 1% are willing to do something different. life is interesting for sure.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2421260].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author rockstaradi
    If you are not trying to change yourself, you can not really do. They don't stick to the natural principle and then they want help...
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2688645].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Gary Pettit
    It's for the same reason that people who buy diet pills, diet books, and miracle exercise equipment rarely lose weight for very long: They are looking for the magic pill, rather than developing the discipline to simply (that right, it's simple and everyone knows this) 1) eat fewer and healthier calories and fat, and 2) expend more energy, like through exercise.
    Most self-help books appear to be magic pills to make life happier. Some have incredibly valuable tools to make that process possible. Those are classics, and you'll find list upon list of them among the posts on Warrior Forum. And others are just chum, regurgitated principles made more complex. (I'm reminded of the monthly promise of some magazines to "lose 25 pounds this month with our [blah blah] diet!")
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2698136].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Smyth Danielson
    Many don't really want the change they say they want. It goes way deeper...DEEP.

    fastatlast
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2698192].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author keithaul
    Personal Development was something that was not taught in the traditional school system. I didn't involve myself in this area until late in my 30's or possibly early 40's. My first book in this area was Think and Grow Rich. I remember reading it once or twice and I never took action on it until it came back in my life several years later, like 5 years after I first read it.

    Since personal development is about changing yourself on the inside to make your outer world better, this involves changing of habits. New habits are hard to form especially if you've had a lot of negative programming. Your subconscious mind is like a hard drive on a computer. You have to override it with a new system so your PC can act in a different way and better way. It's the same with our own mind. Your subconscious mind controls your actions. However, its up to your conscious mind to reprogram the other part of your mind.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2702515].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jborjaperez
    IMO, I think people don't stick to the change they desire because it's not overnight and it does take daily effort and habitual changes to make it.

    I feel that many people have the wrong mentality when looking at challenges and such.. But that's where these guru's SHOULD come in. There's enough room for everyone to be successful! IMO.

    A true leader lead's by walking behind his people. I'm trying to change the way Internet Marketing is right now.. I want to bring the focus back to the people and not the profits.

    This IS a business and profit is important, but I feel taking care of customers and helping people get what they want.. You will eventually get what you want in return.

    If people can't stay motivated then I want to be there every step of the way. Not holding their hand but just being that support they need to get started.

    -Jared
    Signature

    In my signature.. It's not a secret method.. It's a lifestyle.. It's Day 1, Follow Me From The Bottom UP!

    I Write Articles Too! PM ME!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5092671].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Wilson
    I think that people are just fed up of themselves. It is hard to change yourself and the hardest part is the first step.

    I've heard a saying a few days ago: You can delay the lunch for 1 hour, but you'll still be hungry.

    People don't change without guidance and persistence.
    Signature


    -25% WF PROMO CODE: "WFPROMO911" (expires on 1.1.2012)
    - High search volume keywords , high CPC keywords, easy to rank keywords
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5093321].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author danstelter
    Making real change in life requires a concentrated effort with a lot of thought and action. I'm usually pretty good at making a change, but my wife and I are about to begin eating healthier to improve our lives in our own ways, and I'm really not feeling up to the task!

    I think it boils down to being willing to making the change! I'm not willing to do it yet, but it's on my mind and I know that I need to do it. When I'm ready, I'll commit.
    Signature

    Do you need a top-notch copywriting service? Are you having a hard time finding article writing services that can write engaging content, do it well, and do it on time? If so, Dan's SEO Copywriting is the best solution for you! Great SEO article writing done well the first time pays for itself many times over in the long-run!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5096486].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author chelsean
    I agree with the thought that people want overnight success. People don't want to work too hard for something that doesn't come quickly. That's my two cents anyway.
    Signature

    Looking for a house in Arizona? Use a Phoenix Realtor! Have little kids? Check out baby clothes Australia. Businesses should use commercial cleaning nj. Enroll in a coaching certification program!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5096532].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author bensonenterprise
    What an interesting and thought provoking question and the replies have also been interesting and thought provoking as well. I had personally never considered that a person does not succeed in developing themselves because they are already happy in their lives.

    It seems rather counterproductive to me but there was a valid point presented in that we are bombarded with information telling us that we are in need of this.

    The way I see it personally is that unless you are ready to change or you want to change you won't change.

    I know this is a very simplistic answer but to me it seems most fitting.

    When a person is ready for a change, they will start to change. If they are not ready, regardless of the reasons "why" they won't change.

    It doesn't matter how many books you read, audios you listen to or videos you watch, you have to want change in order for you to spark change.

    Just my thought on the matter anyway. Great topic!
    Signature

    I own a small writing company that takes the time to make sure you are pleased with your end product visit my site at http://www.ebookwritingservices.org for more details.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5096614].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Emotia
    I think one reason could be is that self-help books offer quick fixes to achieve happiness.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5098061].message }}

Trending Topics