Goal Sharing - Yes Or No?

35 replies
Do you share your goals with others?

I keep my goals secret. They are between me and the universe. When I share my goals with others I dissipate the power of the goal. When secret they gain more power each day, my vision becomes more clear and I get more focused on the end goal.

What do you guys think?
#goal #sharing
  • Profile picture of the author Ruth P
    I do both, sometimes I share (not usually with non-IMers as they just wouldn't get the goals relating to work) and sometimes I think it's best not to.

    Interesting that your goals are between "you and the universe" only. A while ago I wouldn't thought you need to share to hold yourself accountable, but In guess I've changed my mind. Because sometimes when you start to share, you start to change your actions towards what other people *expect* of you, rather than what's really right. Does that make sense??
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    • Profile picture of the author Lalaine
      No. Same reason as yours.

      "The truth is, that when you talk about what you're going to do, you scatter your forces... You lose the close connection you have with the subconscious and you frequently find that unless you do as directed, you will have to start all over in your program of achievement." - Claude Bristol in "The Magic of Believing"
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    • Profile picture of the author jaybo
      Originally Posted by Ruth P View Post

      I do both, sometimes I share (not usually with non-IMers as they just wouldn't get the goals relating to work) and sometimes I think it's best not to.

      Interesting that your goals are between "you and the universe" only. A while ago I wouldn't thought you need to share to hold yourself accountable, but In guess I've changed my mind. Because sometimes when you start to share, you start to change your actions towards what other people *expect* of you, rather than what's really right. Does that make sense??
      I sometimes share to give myself a "deadline" but I have the same thoughts here. I want to do what is really right and not what other people expect, makes complete sense!
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi Ruth, Good points. I feel sharing is appropriate when you feel 100% comfortable with whatever you are sharing. Convention says to share, that others will help you but I have learned that I am unconventional

    Great quote Lalaine love it and the exact reasons I keep things close to the vest. The universe deals in unspoken words. It knows to bring us what we need to fulfill our goals without opening our mouths, since it's a universe of feelings.

    Ryan Biddulph
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  • Profile picture of the author thetruth23
    More 'no' than 'yes'.

    I guess sharing can have its benefits (if you have very supporting, non-judgemental people around you).

    But on the whole I like to keep my goals to myself, and of course the universe, which will conspire to help me achieve it. (The Alchemist, anyone?)

    I think its the whole judgemental thing that puts me off telling anyone.

    On the surface, I'd like to think I don't care what others think (for the large part this is true), but you can't help think differently about your goals when someone else offers there biased opinion. I'd rather not put myself in that position, hence, I keep my goal to myself.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ruth P
    thetruth23 - I think that's exactly what my problem is, other people's opinions - not necessary even their opinions but my idea of what they think. And I suppose, if I haven't yet formulated the direct steps to reach my goal, this fact can alter it in a way that just isn't good for getting me there!
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  • Profile picture of the author Clyde
    I only share it publicly when I've accomplished it.

    For goals that are going to be achieved, only with close friends and families.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Here's a good quote about this topic from Napoleon Hill:

    "Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

    Ruth and thetruth, I understand. Few have the conviction to speak their goals without caring what others might think, say or do in response to their words. It's another reason why I keep most things secret. Even the most helpful, positive people won't see your goal like you do, and if you aren't having a strong moment mentally can be experience a shot to your confidence if said person offers a viewpoint which is conflicting to your ambition. Keeping a poker face prevents these feelings from arising.

    Ryan Biddulph
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  • Profile picture of the author Katharin
    Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph View Post

    Do you share your goals with others?
    I keep my goals secret. They are between me and the universe. When I share my goals with others I dissipate the power of the goal. When secret they gain more power each day, my vision becomes more clear and I get more focused on the end goal.
    What do you guys think?
    There was a time when I shared goals a lot more often than I do now... then it reached a point where I found out it was to my advantage to hush up about a lot of it. Same reasons you gave.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr.Magnetic
    I used to run mastermind groups, where everyone would share goals, and analyze their effectiveness and intent. With the group we also set up a reliability network where members would touch base every few days to ensure people were vigilantly working towards their goals.

    I got into better shape, made more money, networked harder, and got a hot girlfriend in the course of the last mastermind... goal sharing is very powerful, always do it.

    Aside: If your ashamed of your goal, possible rethink it, or question your shame's source. Personal shame? or outside influence. Then consider the factor fear is playing on you. If fear is ruling your action, simply learn to ignore it the best that you can.
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  • Profile picture of the author biggsy
    It all depends on what type of goal you are referring to. Personal, life orienting goals should be kept private.... however, project oriented goals need to be shared.... if not then you're just having a conversation with your own psychotic mind
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by biggsy View Post

      It all depends on what type of goal you are referring to. Personal, life orienting goals should be kept private.
      Why?

      ...

      Sometimes I share my goals. Sometimes I don't. Depends who I'm talking to and how I'm feeling. Most of the time I just get on with what I'm doing.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi Mr. Magnetic,

    Have you ever tried not sharing your goals? Just a question, wondering if you experienced both sides, strategies and can compare your feelings/experiences with the 2. Thanks!

    I've accomplished feats strikingly similar to yours by not sharing my goal. I feel like secrecy yields a power which the spoken word can never carry. I guess ultimately it's whatever works for you

    Ryan Biddulph
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris1203
    I'm like you, Ryan. I keep my goals to my self. I do think that you dilute the power of your goals when you share them with others.
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  • Profile picture of the author Caroline Lingard
    I've experienced both sides of the fence. Sharing my goals and intentions caused such a stir with family and friends that I ended up spending more time with them at the beginning than doing anything myself (not easy saying no to family!). Now I also keep my goals between me and the universe so as not to scatter my powers. That way I am achieving much more and everyone else will benefit more from that too in the end.
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  • Profile picture of the author wengay
    Yeah. Mostly I've shared my goals but to those people whom I trust. But then sometimes I keep it secretly to have peace reaching it.
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  • Profile picture of the author direct_marketer
    Absolutely do, and I find the most important part of the process of sharing goals with others is that you suddenly have a different take on the goal when you see how others respond - the key is sharing with the right people.
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    • Profile picture of the author thetruth23
      Originally Posted by direct_marketer View Post

      Absolutely do, and I find the most important part of the process of sharing goals with others is that you suddenly have a different take on the goal when you see how others respond - the key is sharing with the right people.
      A 'different take' on a goal isn't always a good thing! A 'positive take' is what we want.

      I usually don't like a different take. I'm happy enough with my goals and don't need or want approval from others regarding them. I'll refine them myself a long the way as necessary. Different takes just end up taking me off my course, and I don't like that so I don't bother putting myself in the position in the first place.

      But, as is a common theme in this thread, it does most definitely come down to what works best for you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Brian Kerr
    This is mr.magnetic, I decided to make an account with my real name, it makes more sense this way.

    I have done both. There are many times, where I do not have a mastermind group, or a reliable person with whom I can share my goals. I feel the more I learn to push myself through dissonance, and struggle, the easier I can do it by myself. But in the beginning, I definitely needed to share goals, so that I would be accountable and not drop them.

    I actually am not sharing my goals right now, because I am seeing growth on my own.

    However, I will attest, sharing goals revolving around a new direction you've decided to pursue in your life, should probably be shared with others for their feedback. Others have given me invaluable advice when it came to handling life balance and relationships, which ultimately made me reconsider the direction I was beginning to go in.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Thanks for sharing Brian It goes back to whatever works. As you are seeing growth on your own, you are keeping your goals quiet. When you feel that sharing will allow you to grow, it's best to honor your intuitive pull and put them out there.

    Ryan Biddulph
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  • Profile picture of the author Darren L Carter
    I like to share my goals with SOMEONE. Not always everyone.

    But I think that telling people about your goals helps you remain accountable (to yourself). Typically I will share my goals to people who understand why and what it takes to reach them.

    I wouldn't share goals with someone if they are negative about it. That will just hold me back from reaching those same goals.

    I also think it's important to remain open and flexible about your goals. It is possible to set bad goals and by sharing with other people we can see the flaws in our goals. Good goals get good results.

    Peace,
    Darren L Carter
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    • Profile picture of the author webwriter
      I don't share any goals or ideas until I have acted on them (or not). From experience, I've learned that it doesn't pay. For starters, my initial excitement and motivation just seems to disappear once the proverbial cat is out of the bag. I then procrastinate and sometimes never finish implementing my plans.

      One time not so long ago, my sister asked me what I was working on. Feeling proud that I was about half way done with my project, I told her. After that, I never finished the project. I felt that I had betrayed myself by telling her my "secret." What hurt the most was that my sister rarely shares anything with me, like her plans to visit Virginia this weekend. I thought we were closer than that.
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  • keeping your goals to yourself is very helpful while you are gathering your strength and cultivating your commitment and your trust in yourself to be able to accomplish your goal, for any truly worthy goal will mainly meet skepticism and discouragement, so for as long as you're not sure you would only get stronger by such adversity, it is wise to keep silent about your goals - yet once you crossed that threshold, possibly the exact opposite is true, for no truly worthy goal can be accomplished alone and skepticism and negativity of people around you can be a great "sparring partner"...
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  • Profile picture of the author ernestlohan
    Many times I am hesitant to share my personal goals to people but just lately I realized that sharing my goals to my love ones is effective because they too can pray for the success of that goals.
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  • Profile picture of the author ggconsulting
    Hi Ryan

    The answer is yes and no from a performance point of view. Goals are interlinked and conducive to the motivation that we feel towards them.

    I would recommend to my athletes and business leaders that they break down their goals into process, performance and outcome. If the outcome is to become a multi-millionaire within 5 years then you may feel a little reluctant to share them and face "that look from people". However, to drive you along towards that goal you can share your performance goal of earning £400,000 per annum and your process goals of say introduce a new marketing approach; borrow capital at say 5% etc etc. There will not get "that look" from people.



    Geoff
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  • Profile picture of the author Darren L Carter
    @GGCONSULTING

    That's good advice. Thanks.

    I'm going to start doing that with my goals.

    Peace,
    Darren L Carter
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    I second Darren's words Geoff, great advice.

    "That look" kills more dreams than anything else. It's why I keep mum on my goals.

    Ryan Biddulph
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  • Profile picture of the author thetruth23
    Yes! Damn "that look"!

    And I really like how you 'breakdown' goals. Very useful.
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  • Profile picture of the author PeterDunin
    I also keep my goals secret,but when I achieve them that's when I tell people.
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    • Profile picture of the author ColdFire123
      Originally Posted by PeterDunin View Post

      I also keep my goals secret,but when I achieve them that's when I tell people.
      Well were the same. I want to achieve it first before telling it so that people will also appreciate it.
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  • Profile picture of the author helenaldin
    I share the goals that have to do with me stopping something (like a bad habit - smoking, overeating, etc).

    The goals that have to do with attraction, I keep to myself.
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  • Profile picture of the author eddy6112
    I do this with the people i respect a lot, that way i make sure to complete my goals.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Lee
    I don't share my goals. If there's anyone who can give you the necessary pressure and encouragement to achieve your goals, it's you.
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  • Profile picture of the author jointaldc
    There are certain goals I share with loved ones, but those closest to my heart stay there. My desires are my desires, and I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing them if someone who doesn't have the same vision as me
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    • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
      Originally Posted by jointaldc View Post

      There are certain goals I share with loved ones, but those closest to my heart stay there. My desires are my desires, and I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing them if someone who doesn't have the same vision as me
      Good point about not sharing goals with people who don't share your vision.

      Trying to tell these people what you intend to do can open a can of worms.

      RB
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