How to deal with disappointment?

by sts2k
48 replies
Hello,

I have started freelancing and wanted to start my own company. However, I have had couple of setbacks, mostly with people not paying. For example, last month I got screwed out of almost $4,000 which is a large amount for me especially in this economy and that put me completely off starting a company/trusting people, etc.

How do you deal with something like that?

Any help is appreciated.
#deal #disappointment
  • Profile picture of the author Dan Bainbridge
    That really sucks, sorry to hear it.

    I was going to say you just persist on and keep going, but maybe with such a big loss it is important to really go through your processes and put things in place so this can never happen again - either asking for money up front, getting a real contract, or going through Elance or Escrow or something where the money is deposited and safe.

    Rather than just persisting (do this too, everyone has setbacks, and I've had some massive ones myself) it is important to learn and adjust from each setback and make sure it doesn't happen again. Good luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author lstoops
      Originally Posted by submp3s View Post

      That really sucks, sorry to hear it.

      I was going to say you just persist on and keep going, but maybe with such a big loss it is important to really go through your processes and put things in place so this can never happen again - either asking for money up front, getting a real contract, or going through Elance or Escrow or something where the money is deposited and safe.

      Rather than just persisting (do this too, everyone has setbacks, and I've had some massive ones myself) it is important to learn and adjust from each setback and make sure it doesn't happen again. Good luck!
      I agree with this poster. You do need to find the root cause of why this happened and make sure it doesn't happen again. I've had some setbacks as well as some big dissapointments too but you MUST KEEP GOING. The only way to reach your goals is if you keep going.
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  • Profile picture of the author deannatroupe
    Yikes. I'm sorry that had to happen to you. First for a project that big, I would insist on a deposit up front before I start doing any work. Using an escrow service sounds like a good idea as well. Also consider legal action. I'm not an attorney or anything, but that seems like a lot of money. I'd be ready to sue. I'm just sayin'...
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  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    I use the Napoleon Hill method. With every adversity recognize that it carries with it a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit, a stepping stone to extended wisdom for greater achievement. Greatfulness + Positive mental attitude
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    • Profile picture of the author sts2k
      thanks for the advice. yeah im learning my lessons..

      and hey vincenzo you are from austin? me too
      Originally Posted by Vincenzo Oliva View Post

      I use the Napoleon Hill method. With every adversity recognize that it carries with it a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit, a stepping stone to extended wisdom for greater achievement. Greatfulness + Positive mental attitude
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  • Profile picture of the author medgar
    When things go wrong I find bursting into tears works very well as a form of emotional release. Unfortunately I am not a cute young woman to attract sympathy. I am an un-cute man and people tend to tell me to shut up or shove off.
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    • Profile picture of the author paulgl
      Business lessons are much different than personal and you have to take them
      as such. You can head off disappointments.

      That's why you never want to start a business with friends or family. Never.
      And I mean don't do it. No matter how much you think it's such a great idea.

      Second, never start a business with more money than you can afford to lose.
      And I mean lose comfortably. An amount that you can just shrug your
      shoulders at. That does not mean NOT getting mad...

      Third, never go into business expecting to succeed big right away. That means
      do not, under any circumstances, quit any job or endeavor that brings you steady
      income until you have passed a good amount of time with results.

      Fourth, which will go against a lot of people's mindsets here, is to prepare to
      fail. Call it your own personal Golden Parachute. There are no guarantees. Only
      a fool thinks he is the top of pops and will never fall. Do a search here for my
      post on Black Swans. You have to expect the unexpected. Things happen that
      are beyond your control at the most inopportune moment. Prepare for it.
      Remember, insurance companies are there for a reason.

      I guess the fifth(maybe the 1st) is, no credit. To anyone.

      Paul
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  • Profile picture of the author nyrsimon
    Learn from it. What would u do differently next time

    Take it as education....

    Sorry it happened. Don't worry move on. Life is good!!!

    Simon
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  • Profile picture of the author sikaz
    Learning from whatever bad experiences we have is the greatest one can ver wished for in life.

    As long as we keep living so long shall we continue to lesson different lessons on daily basis.

    Sorry for your sad experience.
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    • Profile picture of the author b.morales99
      That is definitely a sad thing.. But I guess you really have to pull yourself together and make that as an expensive learning curve. I am sure you will be a lot wiser now with all your dealings. Let not that one problem hinder you from growing your business and yourself. Good luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author ggconsulting
    Hello that is really bad news

    However, the reason you wanted your own business still stands all that has changed is that you have discovered that it is more difficult than you first thought.

    My advise would be to change your way of operating particularly around payment and credit offered and possibly the type of customers that you take on.

    Once it gets back on trak you will start to enjoy again the freedom that it brings. Keep in the back of your mind the money that you would lose if the company that you used to work for went in receivership and you lost salary each month for say 3 years that you were intending to stay there. This type of affirmation will help

    Geoff
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    • Profile picture of the author naruq
      I deal with disappointments by asking myself the question what is the valuable lesson in this situation? What feedback can I take from the disappointment to make me a better overall person.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pisaka
    There are no bad situations or bad people, there is perfect experience!
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  • Profile picture of the author humbledmarket
    Banned
    Originally Posted by sts2k View Post

    Hello,

    I have started freelancing and wanted to start my own company. However, I have had couple of setbacks, mostly with people not paying. For example, last month I got screwed out of almost $4,000 which is a large amount for me especially in this economy and that put me completely off starting a company/trusting people, etc.

    How do you deal with something like that?

    Any help is appreciated.
    I have faced many similar ordeals. I'm sure most people have. Just those set backs that set aside your plans. It's hard to deal with them but no point brooding over them. Just get back up again.
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  • Profile picture of the author Saluki Guy
    Try offering a substantial discount if they prepay. Also accepting credit cards is helpful, I've found.
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  • Profile picture of the author megalinktraffic
    If you have huge expectation,then you would probably encounter dissapointment,Now Don't get stuck up all you need to do is change the strategy and avoid earlier pitfalls
    Perseverance is the Key..
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  • Profile picture of the author Optimus Lime
    Learn from it, and use it to drive yourself. Sometimes pain and discomfort can actually be motivation and spark a fire inside of you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Optimus Lime
    Good luck.
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    More Than Meets The Eye.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Jones
    Just put systems in place to avoid a repeat in future. Get contracts signed next time for a start! But don't give up. Stuff like this is normal and happens to a lot of people in one way or another...
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  • Profile picture of the author Gary Pettit
    Jesus said, "Turn the other cheek."
    You have succeeded. You did what you were born to do.
    It brought no monetary gain? It happens.
    You have grown.
    Keep growing. (And cut off jerks who don't pay. But don't change You.)
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    • Profile picture of the author Optimus Lime
      Originally Posted by sparkie2260 View Post

      Jesus said, "Turn the other cheek."
      You have succeeded. You did what you were born to do.
      It brought no monetary gain? It happens.
      You have grown.
      Keep growing. (And cut off jerks who don't pay. But don't change You.)
      Agreed.....
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
    Think positively and learn what cause your disappointments. And try again.
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    • Profile picture of the author kintee
      Don't get too upset with it, take it as a lesson and the best way to deal with this is to learn from your lesson and never get cheated again. It is very kind of you to share this bad experience to the community so that those who see your thread learn something.
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  • Profile picture of the author ladonnarb
    Just accept this and keep working, you'll succeed if you are an ambitious person.
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  • Profile picture of the author big jeffrey
    Originally Posted by Black Magick View Post

    If something like that happened to me, it would be natural for me to feel upset. But if I'm thinking properly, I would think that maybe that's the Universe's way of telling me that now isn't the right time to start this business.
    hey hows it goin! small word huh?
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Disappointment = Opportunity Misjudged.

    RB
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  • Profile picture of the author ivanadee
    disappointment is normal...people face it everyday...
    for me, everytime I feel dissapointed, I just have a short break and do something I really like. after that, have a short reflection, take motivation from books, movies,etc and start everything all over again
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  • Profile picture of the author The Vizier
    Hi Sts2k,

    Sorry to hear about what happened to you.

    That we will face disappointments in life is a given. We cannot run away from it. But as far as I can, I always make it a point to find some way to profit from it. No matter how bad things are, there will always be lessons to learn that could bring you one step closer to success. I also find that it helps to focus on your goals. Your goals should be strong enough to help you shrug off your setbacks and keep pressing forward.
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    • Profile picture of the author dbarnum
      Can you recycle any of the project that resulted in a loss to date? I.E. are there components you could salvage and even make 10X that, for instance? Turn things around, if you can - -take that bull by the horns!

      Heck, write a report on it, an ebook....My Biggest Error in 2010....something....!
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  • Profile picture of the author KaizenCoach
    Learn what you can from the situation, commit to make changes that will prevent a repeat, look for the gift in the disaster, take time to nurture your wound, MOVE ON.

    I've been burned, betrayed and disappointed too many times to count. I've learned a lot and am stronger and wiser. That's where much of the courage it takes to be in business is.

    Karen
    KAIZENWellness.com
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  • Profile picture of the author Dviau17
    I notice that it's rare to make the same mistake twice. Count yourself lucky you are making mistakes and are disapointed. You will learn from what happened and move on to a better future.
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  • Profile picture of the author dwave
    This is just a stepping stone. What I do is go straight to the book store and read more.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    The best way to deal with disapointment is to treat it like "attrition" and figure it into your prosperity equasion. Disapointment is a part of the formula. As the alchemist of your destiny it is the impurities that rise to the top of the boiling vat that is your recipe for success.
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  • Profile picture of the author superbseo
    disappointment it self have a new appointment in it.whenever such situation across.take sometime and think what will happen if i lost each and every thing in my life.it will surely help you to pull out and think positive.another key to deal with disappointment is dont expect from the people around you if they are nice with you thats ok but if they are. not again it should be ok for you.
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  • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
    1. read 2. exercise 3. write 4. music
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  • Profile picture of the author razaqadio
    Learn from your mistakes and avoid a repeat.You need to put a system in place to ensure you get what is due to you from your customers.You must develop a system of signing contract or agreement specifying term of payment.Failure to pay may lead to arbitation or legal intervetion by the court.
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  • Profile picture of the author King Shiloh
    Banned
    It's quite a pity you suffered such a huge loss. Please don't let it weigh you down. There's a place called forward. But always look before you leap because all that glitters is not gold.
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  • Profile picture of the author fayehines
    OK, the one exciting way you need to transform your freelance business is, DEMAND DOWN PAYMENT, just before you finish their order and the rest of the payment will be paid once your service is complete. Never do anything for FREE, you won't be sad after getting paid, I promise.
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  • Profile picture of the author rockstaradi
    Just be sure that you do business with genuine people and you will never lose. Perhaps that is the only way.
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  • Profile picture of the author PeterDunin
    Sorry to hear of your misfortune.I personally deal with disappointment quite badly but
    I always try to learn from it so it doesn't happen again.
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  • Profile picture of the author C2
    Sorry to hear about your experience. It can really change your whole outlook. But it will take an amount of courage to press through it.

    When you're down, there's no other way than up. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.
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    C2

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  • Profile picture of the author ColdFire123
    Well its the greatest lesson that you'll not forget. Just do your nest next time so that it will not come back.
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  • Profile picture of the author helenaldin
    Man, that sux!

    I would insist on an upfront deposit (at least half)...and start attracting better clients!

    So sorry to hear about your difficulties!
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  • Profile picture of the author mariazz
    Sorry to hear that..that really sucks!

    I hope this one will help;

    #1. Don’t give into pity, depression, or discouragement
    #2. Go to prayer and ask God for help
    #3. Forget your problems by helping others
    #4. Allow your trials to build endurance
    #5. Realize God is equipping you to help others
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  • Profile picture of the author DudeAndy
    Always test the client first, deliver a smaller job and see if will pay you. Then move on to bigger projects but always ask for a deposit before starting the job.
    If everything goes well, you got yourself a good client, don't lose it and find other like him.
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  • Profile picture of the author watson229
    It is really a big loss. But just take it as a lesson and don't repeat such mistakes ever. Maybe this loss is the first step for your great success and future. All the best.
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  • Profile picture of the author andrew20
    Everybody handles disappointment in his or her own way. We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
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  • Profile picture of the author DanEitreim
    Well, it seems like you've discovered a way of doing business that doesn't work! So be sure that you don't keep doing the same things. (It's surprising how many of us keep repeating our mistakes.)

    I agree with the above comments about getting an advance or going through escrow.
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