by Odahh
27 replies
I really don't have an explanation for the fear of a success. but i have a theory that might be close. It comes down to problems. and i guess this works for the fear of failure too.

We have a set of problems we are use to having. Day to day we have built up our strategies for dealing with these problems. Most people do what they can do to keep the same problems. the get attached. Because these problems our their problems.

Say the prospect comes for them to do something to get into a different situation. The first thing they do is get excited about having non of their current problems. This gets followed up not to long after with a list of new problems that can come with these changes. Which seem more daunting than current problems. So people revert to doing nothing and make no changes.

seemingly bigger problems can be scary.. and success can bring these types of problems.
#fear #success
  • Profile picture of the author spennyc
    Good stuff Odahh. We all have a certain fear of success that lies in our subconscious.
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  • Profile picture of the author derrickschwan
    I got your thought Odahh, I think "fear" is the big reason why many people failed. They are afraid of failure that is why they don't want to do something, failure is just a part of success and failure precisely is the reason for success.
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  • Profile picture of the author kharlhoffman
    No one fear success but they fear the great responsibility behind success. As well the afraid of failure eventually they succeed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    You're definitely on the right track Odahh.

    When you’ve “quantified” what you’re afraid of (writing it down) think about how you can change what you’re afraid of. Perhaps it will replacing “Limiting Beliefs” with positive affirmations. For instance instead of being afraid of something you can affirm:

    “Whatever happens I’ll handle it.”

    (Which is true if you think about it: You’ve handled most things that have happened to you.) Or maybe it will be facing something you’re afraid of by breaking it down and confronting it one piece at a time.

    Although it's important to figure out what you’re afraid of (or what might be holding you back) it's equally important to understand why you want to be “successful.”

    Because then your “Why I want to be successful …” log will be something that’s more important than what you’re afraid of. Something you can focus on. Something that inspires and motivates you. A vision that can drive you forward.

    See, even though I was afraid of the unknown or what might happen (which I didn’t realize until I put pen to paper) my “What I want to be successful …” log was infinitively more powerful.

    So, if you’re ready Odahh ¾ face your fear ¾ and take the next step.
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    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Andrew Kryzak
      My theory for the fear of success is that people have built an identity as an unsuccessful person. The mind try's to keep this identity alive because it wants the familiar/continuity.

      So even though we see benefits in having success there's a fear of loss of identity. You'd obviously have to give up your identity as a struggling/unsuccessful person and replace it with a new identity. This is scary to the mind that has made it's home in feeling a certain way about itself and life.

      Also, I agree with the poster who mentioned the fear of increased responsibility. The mind thinks of stuff like non-stop work, customer complaints, lost sleep, even lawsuits and jail in some cases. It will go to great lengths to avoid such things.

      My theory anyway.

      Andrew
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        That's interesting Andrew.

        (I was going to mention that I don't always hit the mark.) And, I think identity plays an important role in success/change.

        Definitely gave me something to think about. I like helping people - and everything shared works, because I’ve tested it myself - but I'm not 100% there yet, so it's time to go back into learning mode.

        Thank You for brining it up.
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        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author Louise M.
    Well said. I agree with that. I think that in a weird way, people somehow become dependant to their problems, they accept that their problems, their "situation" is here to stay, "normal", and basically defines their life. So the possibility of a sudden major change becomes frightening, probably because a change may bring some problems they're not familiar with and may shake their habits.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    Reading over the bored it popped into my head. A strategy i learned from 4 hour work week. IF your dealing with fear of any type . think of the worst thing that can happen. list them out then ask yourself how bad will that really be .

    I myself always believe the worst is going to happen . so i am good at this . so if you ever need the whats the worst that can happen question answered.. ask me!
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  • Profile picture of the author graemewatson
    I agree with that. I think in a funny way, any way people become dependent on their problems, they acknowledge their problems, their "status" here to stay, "general", and basically my life defines. Frightening prospect of major change so suddenly, perhaps because a change to bring some problems, they're not familiar with their habits and could shake is.</span>
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    • Profile picture of the author Louise M.
      Originally Posted by graemewatson View Post

      I agree with that. I think in a funny way, any way people become dependent on their problems, they acknowledge their problems, their "status" here to stay, "general", and basically my life defines. Frightening prospect of major change so suddenly, perhaps because a change to bring some problems, they're not familiar with their habits and could shake is.</span>
      err.... did you just badly spinned my reply??
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        Originally Posted by Louise M. View Post

        err.... did you just badly spinned my reply??
        Hey Louise

        "Great minds ..." :-)
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        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author William Veasley
    Hey,

    Thanks for the awesome thread!

    You have a great point here. It's kind of similar to people who are addicted to pain. They have gotten so used to that usual pain, whether it be in school, home, or relationships it's normal to them. So normal that they tend to look for that certain pain, because without it they feel un-normal.

    You should never fear success, but fear failure. I fear failing everyday that is why I work so hard and push myself to succeed. I was in fear of not graduating my senior year of high school. I guess you can say I was in fear of become a "failure" among my family. That fear pushed me to succeed when the odds were stacked against me, and it can do the same for you!

    Thanks again!

    God bless,
    William Veasley
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  • Profile picture of the author DannyDarwin
    What if it's not success or failure people are afraid of...

    It's already been touched on in this thread, and I think it is "fear of change".

    To some, success is to work from home. To others, thats a big failure, they want to work from the beach sipping drinks. And again, other people think those guys n gals are a bunch of lazy couch potatoes not living life to the max, success must be working 20 hours a day and having cocktail mingles with your ex wifes colleageus. You know, to get ahead of everyone else.

    So, people have a funny way of staying in whatever state they are, call it success or failure.

    The ones who get everything they want? The ones who can see through the states, the ones who have connected with their inner being, the self. Not the ego, but the self.

    You can also live a life without fear.
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  • Profile picture of the author DannyDarwin
    Originally Posted by LD Carter View Post

    My opinion is that it has more to do with change. I think that any kind of change goes against what most people want, even if that change is for the better. It also goes against what our current habits are. If we're successful or want to be, we're gonna have to make changes and form new habits. Which is something that scares some people. If you ever listen to a group of miserable people talking about things they wish they had, you'd hear at least one person justifying their current lifestyle...even though they're miserable. This is because the person doing the justifying wants more, but doesn't want the change that comes along with it.
    Exactly. Well said Mr. Carter.
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  • Profile picture of the author alexpa
    u grab my words, good post i agree with u on the opinion of fear of success
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  • Profile picture of the author signity2
    i think fear for success is the biggest hurdle in way of our success
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  • Profile picture of the author feiyin85
    Why fear success when you have greater things to fear.Fear of not having enough money to support your family,paying debts and even going for a holidays.These fear should be the source of motivation to achieve success.That is my point of view.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      In a shameless way to keep my thread going with all these great additions.. i will add another twist to it. I think many people will only go down the path to success when there is no choice but to do it. that is why so many successful people have a bankruptcy or two in their path. That or they come out of having nothing at all to having a lot. It might just take total failure for people to live it up and go for success.
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  • Profile picture of the author vrobinson57
    If we fear success or fear failure we will get nothing done
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    • Profile picture of the author catchingeye
      I can think of two points that seem the most relevant here :-)

      First of all, I don't think anyone genuinely fears success... the same way as they wouldn't fear happiness... and while people do things habitually to sabotage their happiness, I believe that it's actually the fear of change that's the root of it all.

      And I think fear of success is very much the fear of failure. To find either you have to try... you have to take action... which is a change. If you stay the same, nothing changes, no action is taken... everything stays exactly where you know it should be and it's comfortable and controllable.

      Which all leads into your ego.

      And if it's your ego we're talking about... then the fear of change, turns back into the fear of failure.

      Here's the process: If you try, and you fail, it means you are bad at something, it means you cannot provide value, it means you have less social value, it means you are a failure as a person, it means no one will love you, it means the end of your bloodline... that's your ego :-D

      Pretty impractical on paper, but that's how it all rolls around in your head (I say that being careful of being too presumptuous ;-) ).

      So as with many things... it seems best to take a deep breath... realise that TRYING, and setting yourself up for failure, means you will advance yourself... you'll learn and grow... which is more than what 99% of people do anyway, so you're already more experienced, more valuable a person and so on so forth.

      You just gotta reassure your ego that it'll be ok in the end :-)

      ... really, we're all pretty much invincible.

      That's what I did and things have started to go pretty well now :rolleyes:

      Interesting thread, thanks!
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      • Profile picture of the author catchingeye
        An example of what I just wrote that I meant to include earlier...

        I knew this guy who had a real personality about him. He was cool to talk to, people liked him and he was really popular with customers (he was a waiter).

        I spoke to him once and he said he always gets told that he'd make a good salesman, and he'd love to be a good salesman... so I asked him "why not become a salesman?"

        He replied "Because I might turn out to be a bad salesman..."

        Happy ending though... he eventually stopped being a waiter and went for a sales job... as expected they said he was 'just what they were looking for' and although he started as a pretty bad salesman (he spend too much time talking and rapport building instead of closing)... he learned with a bit of time and in a few months he was one of the top performers at the company.

        So it really doesn't matter if you fail or not... it's the ability to get up and dust yourself off that matters.
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  • Profile picture of the author xdmannet
    Fear dont let people to try things !!
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  • Profile picture of the author Newview
    Can someone please help me with this thought about fear - It seems that fear is learned - it is programmed inside you. If you always hear that you can never make it, the odds are too great, you just don't have what it takes, or other constant torments, how do you turn off the outside world and re-focus on yes you can do it! Especially when building a business correctly takes time and quite a few failings along the way? Also, it is not possible to just associate with others - say for whatever the reason, these nay sayers are a part of your life - you cannot simply walk away. Food for thought - you think? This is how failure - and built in failure becomes a learned response - a built in mechanism.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Because this is an old thread here is what was part of the conversation. Although this was created for The New Year there's still many things you can learn from it.

      http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...ly-update.html
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author drmfitz
    great post Odahh. i have said for about 15 years of public speaking now that most people have fear of failure, even more have fear of success. after learning from an amazing mentor the last couple of years, i can say that your title gives us the clues. why fear success? fear, we all know is False Expectations Apprearing Real-what the basis of that is simply when we fib to ourselves-we have all "looked into the future" and imagined some event, and convinced ourselves that that event will cause more pain than pleasure, which is completely untrue. at all times we have constant pain/pleasure, support/challenge, etc. the other clue is in the word "success". everyone is masterfully successful right now for who they are as they are and cannot be more successful. who is defining success? if we are talking about money, than that is different. bill gates does not have more success than you, he has more money. your value in life may be in your friendships, your family, your church/spirituality, your mind, your physical health, your work. success is an illusion as you are "doing you", perfectly, you cannot mess it up!

    it is easy to be broke, you don't have to do anything to hit your goal. many posts are correct, the responsibility that comes with financial wealth, is more difficult that being broke. i speak from experience. responsibility, is responding.....with your ability. like most things, we are not born with most abillities, that need to be learned. i often think about roger bannister. around 1940 he was the first man in history of the planet, to run under a 4 minute mile. within in two years, about 37 more persons did including ladies. when that "mental barrier" was broke down, it is now common place.

    our self-worth is at the root of our finances. serving people as well. serve a lot of people, make more money typically. see your inner value, get paid more outside. i have often said, "when you settle for less, you get it". You are already successful in many ways and will be the rest of your life. Dr. Mike
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    • Profile picture of the author Goldenboy
      Nice post Odahh, It is one of the basic realities in life nowadays that most people are afraid to fail, that as a result, they wouldn't bother to start working or do something to which they think they can't do. I mean, why think of things that you can't do, that even you haven't started anything yet. Did fear really consume them?
      Most people who failed to succeed in their life are often consumed by their fear. There is this fear of failure, fear that might waste their time and a fear to face the challenges that lies ahead. If people are overcome by their fear, a clear result is that he/she cannot accomplish something in life.
      People has to face fear, if he can't face it, it would difficult for him to reach his dream. It is in the way of our dream that these challenges are waiting, waiting for us to be overcome or they will overcome us. And from that, we learn something, back to our drawing boards and re-evaluate which part needs to be improved.
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