How Do You Keep Your Head Up And Your Mind Motivated?

19 replies
I don't come to this section of the WF much, but I knew this is where this post belongs, and if anyone could help me, it would be the wonderful peeps of this section.

Here's my predicament.

I battle with having bipolar syndrome. It makes most days either really good or really difficult. It's one of my motivating factors for being in IM, because the days I just can't do it, I don't. And on my good days, I excel.

This last month has been a bit of hell for me.

My step father is on death's door with stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. They don't give him much time at all. I'm my mother's support system, even though she lives about 3 hours away. I have been helping plan the funeral, her move back to this city and all that "fun" stuff. My mother has a very hard time understanding legal ramifications of death, and how to plan a funeral etc, so she has asked for my help. Then of course I am trying to help my 5 children come to terms with the impending death of their grandfather.

My granny about 10 days ago now had a massive heart attack. Because of her religious beliefs there is an order on her chart to do nothing to stop her death. She was released to go home on Friday, quite literally to die. She ended up back in the hospital today with a blockage to her heart. Again, because my father has limited education, and knowledge in legal proceedings and death related things, he has come to me asking for help.

So essentially right now, I am trying to help my parents plan two different funerals, while dealing with my own mental health problems, and of course, running my own online business (which due to the Farmer update is taking a hit, not my sites personally, but still it's affecting it, but that's a topic for another thread).

And from that my question to your wonderful warriors is how do you keep your head up? How do you stay focused and do your best to remain positive in the face of such negative things? How do you hold your head up and keep moving forward?

Thanks in advance,
Sylvia
#head #mind #motivated
  • Profile picture of the author Stephen Dean
    Sorry to hear of your troubles. It'd be hard to focus in your situation.

    When I've gone through troubles and had to keep working - I made an extra effort to have micro-focus. Instead of looking at the big-picture, because it was overwhelming, I would work on small tasks that I was the most passionate about.

    That made it easier to keep one foot moving in front of the other, which is the key.

    Cheers,
    Stephen Dean
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  • Profile picture of the author andrea_vk
    Hi Sylvia

    It looks like you are going through difficult times. I personally do not believewe were made to be always positive, but yes I know being positive helps you go through the day much easier. If your business is going and generating an income ten I would say just take a break and concentrate in your family issues Do not overstress. Prioritise what is important to you at the moment. I now it must be difficult just to be there for everybody and maybe nobody is there for you.

    Have youtried to use EFT, (emotional Freedom technique) it is quite useful and it really makes you feel better immediately. Lots of free information on EFT search for it.
    I am sorry I cannot be of much help, just wante dto say I feel for yoy. It is not easy.
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  • Profile picture of the author ginandtonic
    If you're not already, seeing a psychiatrist is a good idea. I finally went to one after years of protest, and it slowly helped me climb back to normal. Otherwise, I agree with the other posters. To quote Finding Nemo - "Just keep swimming."
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi Sylvia,

    First off, I am sending my positive energy your way. The universe only burdens those who can handle it, and even though it might seem entirely overwhelming I know you can work through it.

    What you are doing now is great: talking about it. By speaking about your circumstances you are literally getting it off your mind. Stresses will still exist but the power the circumstances seem to have over you won't feel as great.

    It if all seems too overwhelming, consider seeing a trained therapist. We're all at different stages of spiritual development and considering some of what you're going through, it might be a good idea to have an unbiased, professional 3rd party help you through some of these issues.

    If you feel like chatting at all please feel free to PM me.

    All the best,

    RB
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    • Profile picture of the author MissLizzie
      Hi Sylvia,

      So sorry to hear about all of your problems. When things get tough, I try to remember that things won't always be like this - there's a light at the end of the tunnel as it were.

      I definitely agree with Stephen's point about focussing down on the little things, and what I would do, is try to find something positive that you've done each day to make you feel a bit better. That could be something as simple as 'spoke to my mother and helped her deal with my step-father's illness a bit better, or even bought her some groceries for the week'.

      While these steps might not seem like they're going to change the world, they'll help out your family and our family is one of the most important things that we have.

      Thinking of you,

      Lizzie
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  • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
    Stephen,
    That's pretty much what I've been doing. Instead of going I have to do all of this, I have been breaking it down as much as I can, even so much as focusing on achieving so many words written (instead of even focusing on article numbers.) Same thing with things around the house, it's a case of this afternoon's task, dishes, or laundry or whatever. Simply focusing on a single thing, getting it done and moving on. Thanks for your feedback.

    andrea_vk,
    I have been prioritising things greatly. If it doesn't make an impact today or tomorrow or really matter it just doesn't need to be done right this moment. I've never tried EFT but I'm going to look it up. Thanks.

    ginandtonic
    LOL I love Finding Nemo, and that's pretty much how I feel these days, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Thanks.

    ryanbiddulph
    I have a really bad habit of bottling things up till I explode and with everything going on right now I know it's a good idea to open up and let it out and just talk about it. So that's what I've been trying to do to ensure I don't end up having a mental breakdown because of everything going on. I do see a therapist but am waiting for my next appointment, maybe it might be an idea to simply call and get an earlier one to help me through this. Thanks for the feedback.

    MissLizzie
    I've been doing my best to focus on the little things. Even simple things like helping mom make the calls she needs, or buying Dad lunch while we're at the hospital. Things that I know aren't going to change their world's and what they are going through, simply things to help them out for the time being.

    And yes, family is everything.

    Thank you for your feedback as well.


    And thanks everyone for taking the time to send me PM's. I'll go answer those now. I never realized the amount of support I would really get. And it helps. Waking up with a smile to all the wonderful people who have responded and send emails and PM's is amazing. Thank you all.

    Best wishes,
    Sylvia
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    • Profile picture of the author apl
      You can also take a few minutes to relax, just sit down outside look at the sky or be in nature, and reflect on all the good things in your life, like having your children, your mother, your life. Being grateful and joyful of what you have. And not only of what you have, but about what you do, the good you bring to the world by taking care and helping so many people to get on with their own lives. That is wonderful.
      You can also rejoice in the virtue there is in the world, all the people that help each other.

      I also send you positive energy, I hope you get it
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  • Profile picture of the author scotsmann2
    My wife was diagnosed as bi-polar in 1983. It was called manic-depression then. She didn't want to take lithium, the most common prescription for it, because she thought it would curb her creativity. What she thought was being creative was actually starting a whole lot of things and never finishing any of them. With few exceptions she has stayed on the prescription since then. She spent a lot of time talking to a therapist and working hard to get over bad habits she developed before she knew what was going on. If you haven't looked into either one it would be worth the trouble.
    Best Wishes!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
    apl
    That's exactly what I did last night. I went for a walk with my camera and just took in nature and the quiet of life. It has helped me greatly today. And the positive energy is very much appreciated. Thanks for your feedback.

    scotsmann2
    LOL I know all too well that side of being bi-polar. I have a stack of unfinished everythings all over the place. I'm slowly working through not doing that and actually getting things done. Thanks for your support.

    See I knew this was the right place in the forum to reach out. Thank you everyone for your help and support. I just keep coming back and reading this thread throughout the day when I hit a bump and take a moment to reground myself and move forward.

    Best wishes,
    Sylvia
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  • Profile picture of the author mypiapo
    EXPECT

    Expect things to go smoothly, because there is no reason why they shouldnt. Everything in nature, and the universe runs smoothly, so why shouldnt we, and our affairs? The truth is, everything you see is changing at every moment. Nothing in this physical world that we see with our eyes is concrete. Even the human body changes its cells every second. So what decides whether the change will be good or bad? Our attitude and thoughts towards it. The human body could begin to cure any and every disease it it, if the mind began to become harmonized again, and think of good and positive things. The same with all of our affairs in life.

    Now the question is, how to stay positive right, when so much seems to be wrong? Well first understand that what seems wrong and terrible, is only your perception of it. You have no idea how good the outcome could be. So why waste your emotional energy expecting the outcome to be bad. That is guaranteed to make it bad.

    The first thing i would say to you is this: There comes a time in life, when we all have to be honest, and say, "There is nothing i can do to improve this situation, except to trust." This will feel like a load being lifted off your mind and chest. This does not mean, dont take action, but to do the best you can do, and to trust for the rest to follow smoothly.

    Now, look at what seems to be your problem or struggle, and begin expecting it to change for the better, even if it look very bad. By doing this, you offer positive thought and energy towards that situation, and YOU DO AFFECT IT!

    Go home at night, and imagine the sick people becoming healthy and whole again. Feel how you would feel if it were real. Because, in the moments of imagination, IT IS REAL in your mind, and you offer that positive vibration. Imagine that you do the best for your children, and it is more than enough, that you have blessed them by being strong yourself. Imagine that your efforts for your online business are giving you great results, and your business is growing quickly everyday. BECOME A CHILD AGAIN, AND IMAGINE AND HAVE FAITH. JUST LOOK TO YOUR CHILDREN. THEY LEAN ON YOU AND TRUST YOU RIGHT? WELL YOU NEED TO HAVE FAITH, THE SAME FAITH CHILDREN HAVE.

    And as for you being "Bi-Polar", that's nothing. You know what bi-polar is? it means, your emotions are strong, because you are sensitive. im the same way. one minute your up, the other your down. Dont look at it, as being a curse, because its not. If you can learn to control your thoughts and emotions, then the times when your down will disappear. Being sensitive, seems like a curse, until you finally learn to control the thoughts that fuel your sensitivity. Sensitivity is a blessing, because it means that you can easily feel your thoughts. And once you control your thoughts, then you can use that sensitive creative power in a positive way. THOUGHTS SHAPE OUR REALITY. AND SENSITIVE PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO SHAPE IT EASIER, BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEIR THOUGHTS AS ALREADY BEING REAL. LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS, AND YOU WILL CONTROL WHAT HAPPENS. Dont let anyone classify you as being ill and "Bi-Polar", ignore it, and know that it is a gift, but you need to master it first. I speak from experience, because im in the same process.

    BUT MOST IMPORTANT, DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH AND HAPPY!!!!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author JagSEO
    The best thing you could do is not to think too much and go out enjoy with your friends. Because if you're alone you will think a lot of things that will make you more uncertain about life.
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  • Profile picture of the author Prosechild
    you've gotten a ton of great advice already... just wanted to add, make sure you're taking care of you too. With all that's on your plate right now its easy to feed all of your time and energy into others and not leave anything for yourself. So moments like your nature walk, meditating, long hot baths, journaling, all of it helps to refresh and rejuvenate you. If you give everything inside of you away - energy, time, emotions, thoughts - there won't be anything left and you won't be able to support your loved ones and keep your business on track. ((Hugs)) to you...
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  • Profile picture of the author Max Stryker
    My advice is this one: never life too seriously, otherwise most of use will be beaten down already.
    i have a quote for you that I think might help:

    "It's not the load of the weight that brings you down,
    It's the way you carry it."

    There are sometimes when we think everything is going bad only to find out that things have indeed got worse. You must believe that eventually everything is going to turn around and work just fine for you.

    PS. i saw your Squidoo lens. you have really nice eyes. =)
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    • Profile picture of the author Devid Farah
      Hello Sylvia,

      I'm very sorry hear your situation,

      One thing you should ALWAYS have in mind is where you want to end up after all these.

      If you believe that you will still have life even after the two impending funerals of loved ones, i believe you will be propelled to keep your focus.

      Also take note of what you are going through now and you will have some inspiring stories that will help others in future.

      You will surely overcome.

      All the best to you,
      Devid
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  • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
    JagSEO
    I'm far from alone, which is good. I have plenty of support from friends and family.

    Prosechild
    As a mother of five I know already very well how important taking time for myself is, and try to do it the best I can each day, even if it's simply a trip to the grocery store by myself LOL.

    Max Stryker
    You're very right about it being how you carry yourself and your burdens that can either liberate you or destroy you. I know one day soon it will all turn back around, it's simply getting to that point that takes the time and dedication.

    And thanks. I get comments on my eyes all the time, but it never fails to make me smile.

    Devid Farah
    That's a very good point, and something I've already considered greatly. What and where am I going to be when life begins to turn around, and where and what am I going to be to ensure things turn around. And I've got plenty of plans and ambitions in place that I am slowly putting into place through all of this.

    And I love to write, so there will be no shortage of ramblings and writings about what it was like to go through all of this.

    Thank you everyone for your comments and support, it means a lot to me.

    Best wishes,
    Sylvia
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    • Profile picture of the author James Clark
      Sylvia,

      I know how you feel. We lost my Dad last December becase of kidney failure. He was 85 years old and in good health all of his life. My Mother and Father were married to each other for 64 years.

      Mother is stll very much alive and just celebrated her 87th birthday. They were married so long they started to look like each other. (LOL)

      Just hang in there. I will pray for you. Remember, God will not put anything on your shoulders that you can handle.

      Your friend for life,

      Jimmy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Frei
    Hello, Sylvia
    I wasn't sure if I should write about it, but I will. It's just another perspective.

    Don't try to hide from your feelings. Accept the pain you have. This is what women are good at.

    You're going through a tough time and there are things that you can change and those you can't. Accept what you can't and commit to doing maximum you can.

    If you feel lonely, under pressure, sad or any other feeling, be honest with yourself. Accept it. Don't try to be "cheerful". There are times to be cheerful and there are times to be sad.

    There are other times when you have to tell yourself: "Yes, this situation is hell and I'm feeling bad/sad/angry/powerless/etc. But I will do everything I can to preserve what I can and help others around me". Don't expect to be better off after all of it. But try your best to help others and yourself.

    Sorry if these are just some messy thoughts.

    Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Skelly
    I use Dreamnetics.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Ten
    In the past, what I've done is think about the goal, think about rewards, think about how good it might feel to be success.... I also talk to those who help motivate me and help me stay on task...

    I think I do all those things, and those tend to work the best for me.
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