Up until now I've never shared this story publicly because it's
kinda personal. And even now I'm hesitant to give all the details
from my childhood, because I have a good relationship with my Mom
now and I wouldn't want to throw her under the bus. But if the
story below can inspire people, I feel like I have an obligation to
get it out there. Plus it's kinda like therapy for me in a way.
"Excuses or Motivation"
As I'm preparing my presentation for next week's JVZoo seminar in
Orlando, I'm reflecting on how I got to where I'm at.
I believe that success is highly unlikely without pain. Now, it
doesn't have to be physical pain. It can be mental or emotional
pain as well. The pain in your life does one of two things to you -
it either gives you excuses or it gives you resolve and motivation.
Pressure will either bust pipes or make diamonds.
Either way, the vibrations that create pain is energy that is there
for you to use in the future.
So if you're going through something right now, know that you can
channel that energy into positive actions and know that it brings
you closer to the success that you deserve.
Without pain, there is comfort. And when you're comfortable,
subconsciously you don't want anything to change and you become
To break out of your comfort zone and take the actions necessary to
succeed, you have to either have pain from your current situation
or pain from knowing you're not where you should be in life. The
latter form of pain can come from seeing your peers succeed while
you get left behind. That's why they say to surround yourself with
successful people because you'll be as successful as the average of
your five closest friends.
Whatever your pain is, you have to be in a situation where the only
way to relieve the pain is to set a goal and progress towards that
goal. Ultimately that's what will really drive you to do what it
takes. Some people just accept the pain and accept not being happy
with their life and learn to live with it (excuse makers).
Successful people wake up one day and say
ENOUGH! I'm going to do something to change my life.
Can you relate?
The pain that drove me for many years stemmed from my childhood.
I grew up in a dysfunctional single-parent home in a drug infested
area of Queens, NY. My mom and dad met in a heroin rehab clinic in
1972. The streets of New York were flooded with heroin at the time.
It was a recreational drug that many young people were hooked on.
My father was at the rehab because he was involved in one of the
biggest drug busts in Westchester County history with several mob
associated gangsters indicted. He pleaded down in court to being a
user and got sentenced to attend rehab being that it was a first
offense and he cooperated.
In rehab while trying to clean up their lives, my parents hit it
off and fell in love. It was a happy time for them. They got
married in April of 1974 - she was only 19 years old and he was
In August of 1974, six weeks before expecting their first child, my
father was found dead on a roof top in Harlem, NY.
Evidently his past caught up with him. When they found him, he was
badly beaten and overdosed with heroin. It was thought to be a
homicide but police never found who did it.
I was born in Oct 1974 and missed meeting my dad by about 6 weeks.
My mother spent the first two years of my life in a deep depression
after being a newlywed and losing her first love so suddenly. She
relapsed into heavy drug use. Much of my childhood was spent living
at my grandparent's house without seeing my mom for weeks at a
time. I would often sit by the window crying waiting for her to
Statistically I had a slim chance of succeeding in life. Neither
genetics nor environment were on my side.
Excuses or motivation. My childhood gave me the latter.
The pain from my early years motivated me to never do drugs and
made me promise myself that my kids would never have to go through
what I did.
Fast forward to 2004, I got married to the love of my life and my
daughter Nia was born. I had a six figure job working for JP Morgan
on Wall St and we had just bought our first home.
Everything seemed perfect, but it wasn't.
I was working 60 to 80 hours a week and the only time I'd get to
see my daughter was for an hour or so at night and on the weekend.
The best part of my day was coming home and hearing her precious
little voice say "Daddy is home" before she went to bed. I had to
provide for her, but I felt like I was becoming the same absentee
dad that I vowed not to be.
That was the pain I needed to really focus on my business and leave
the corporate world. In 2007, a month before my son Ryan was born,
I finally decided to leave the rat race for good and it seemed like
the universe opened all kinds of doors for me.
The rest of the story is out there - I went from small time
Clickbank publisher to NY Times Best Selling Author with
appearances on Good Morning America, Home Shopping Network, Fox
News, ABC News, NBC, Wendy Williams, People Magazine, Today Show
I went from selling 60,000 self published ebooks to selling 1.2
million physical books with New York City publisher Simon &
Schuster. Add to that the dozens of other websites and projects
I've done over the past decade+ in business. Overall my Internet
businesses and publishing have done over $4 million in net revenue
and have made me a millionaire.
Now everyday I wake up with the freedom to spend my time anyway I
like. I'm a geeked out, work at home soccer dad and proud of it.
Sometimes I just look at my kids growing up and I get emotional
thinking about how blessed I am.
Internet Marketing made it possible for me to change my life. Never
take for granted how fortunate we are to have this opportunity. You
have to make the most of it while you still can.
Excuses or motivation, it's your choice.