How to Overcome Adversity
I wrote this article for my advice website under significant duress and limited time, and used the exact steps I have outlined below to overcome the situation. I hope some of you will find it helpful. A printable version is available on my website (link in profile and signature) with full resolution HD images.
It’s never a good time for adversity to strike. I can’t ever recall facing an unexpected obstacle and saying, “Well, this was the perfect time for things to go wrong.” No, when hardship hits, it usually does so at the most inconvenient of times, sort of like an insurance salesperson cold-calling to disrupt your dinner.
Situations like these usually lead, before anything else, to one thing: a negative emotional reaction. We get angry, we look for someone to blame, somewhere to point our fingers. This in turn takes our attention off the very (and only) task that might avert further trouble and frustration: finding a solution.
Instinctual emotional reactions to adversity, no matter how normal or “human” they might feel in the moment, never lead to a positive outcome and, more important, stifle our ability to rise to the occasion and act positively. It is precisely this inability to act, this paralysis welcomed throughout our bodies by our negative emotions, that turns even the most trivial problems into seemingly insurmountable catastrophes.
If you have ever felt this way, remember this: When adversity hits, the first step you take is the most important, not because it was the right or wrong step, but because you took a step. This begs the question, how do we muster the courage or find the will to take this initial step? It begins with negating that which prevents action in the first pace, our emotional participation in whatever event we’re dealing with.
Below, then, is a step by step method of managing and overcoming adversity. This isn’t an overnight, magic pill solution; nothing worthwhile ever is. This is instead a system of problem-solving and self-improvement that is built on sound science and extensive research. It has also helped my clients and me overcome every obstacle we have encountered, in both our professional and our personal lives. The only thing it requires is your belief and your honest dedication throughout each step.
Enter, again, the Learn Plan Act (LPA) Problem-solving Model
1. Turn emotional participation to emotional observation (Prepare)
Why: emotional participation in an event makes it impossible (or nearly impossible) to view that event objectively, and an objective perspective is an absolute necessity in finding the optimal solution to any problem.
How: if you’re unfamiliar with emotional observation via meditation, please read my article On Meditation. This skill, as I mentioned above, is not a quick fix and will take time and patience to develop. That said, you will begin to feel the soothing and empowering effects of this technique after the very first attempt. There are few feelings more empowering than knowing that you can face your worst emotions and not be deterred or influenced by them.
Outcome: once you learn to view a difficult situation calmly, without involving your emotions, you are then mentally ready to find a solution. In short, your mind is receptive to answers.
2. Gather knowledge and seek guidance (Learn)
Why: even the smallest issues seem larger than life when we don’t have a genuine idea of what’s actually happening. Ignorance and lack of knowledge are almost always pathways to negative emotional participation. Ignoring this step will ensure you remain forever entangled in your emotions, helpless and unable to proceed in any direction.
How: access every reliable source you can find and learn as much as you possibly can about the problem. The operative word here is “reliable.” Gossip, hearsay, and Google don’t count. Instead try discussing the issue with someone you know to be knowledgeable (through valid research) and level-headed.
Outcome: to repeat what I’ve written several times before, we fear what we do not know. Learning about something is the best way to better understand it, and a better understanding always leads to less uncertainty and fear. In short, you eliminate your fears by embracing, accepting, and then understanding them.
Leverage yourself via accurate knowledge of the problem and your surroundings
3. Separate useful information from non-useful information (Plan)
Why: knowledge is fine and dandy, but it’s accurate knowledge that leads to a relevant and worthwhile solution. Climbing up the wrong ladder might lead to a certain height, but often not the one we want to reach.
How: if you have followed step two well, chances are your work here will be minimal. Even still, it helps to separate objective facts from subjective opinions on a piece of paper or word processor, which can then be used as a blueprint to form a plan of action. This practice, more than anything, leads to the eventual habit of automatic fact-opinion separation. We see this remarkable quality embodied in those rare individuals who can tackle the toughest of situations with complete calm and control. They are not above fear or panicking; they just know it brings no benefit.
Outcome: considering a pool of information and knowing what is actually useful to you leads to the realization that, yes, this problem (or any other) is in fact surmountable. In short, this ability builds self-belief like none other.
4. Take action based on accurate knowledge (Act)
Why: the better question is, why not? After taking the time to master your emotions, expand your knowledge, and painstakingly separate the fruitful from the fruitless, why in the world not? If you’ve come this far, why stop now?
How: find the faith in you to stick to your plan. Believe that whatever strategy you conceived is good enough to take you forward; if it’s not, then at least you will know that you need a new plan. Even that, in my books, is a step forward. If you do not act on a plan of your own making, you are effectively telling yourself that you do not believe in yourself. Success stays far, far away from such a person.
Outcome: action might at times lead to failure, but nothing else ever leads to success. It is therefore action and action alone that leads to competence, which in turn builds confidence. Confidence does not come with reading an article or some theory. It comes from being out there, getting your hands dirty, and putting yourself in the path of the storm (not literally).
This happens only with persistent action
Last Word
Don’t wait for the next big misfortune to apply this model. Use it now to analyze and solve problems that you have already encountered. Get familiar with it. Learn and internalize it, so that when adversity strikes next, it finds a seasoned veteran who, at least mentally, has faced and overcome it before.
How to Overcome Adversity
The all out or emotional reaction is at best a futile one
The all out or emotional reaction is at best a futile one
It’s never a good time for adversity to strike. I can’t ever recall facing an unexpected obstacle and saying, “Well, this was the perfect time for things to go wrong.” No, when hardship hits, it usually does so at the most inconvenient of times, sort of like an insurance salesperson cold-calling to disrupt your dinner.
Situations like these usually lead, before anything else, to one thing: a negative emotional reaction. We get angry, we look for someone to blame, somewhere to point our fingers. This in turn takes our attention off the very (and only) task that might avert further trouble and frustration: finding a solution.
Instinctual emotional reactions to adversity, no matter how normal or “human” they might feel in the moment, never lead to a positive outcome and, more important, stifle our ability to rise to the occasion and act positively. It is precisely this inability to act, this paralysis welcomed throughout our bodies by our negative emotions, that turns even the most trivial problems into seemingly insurmountable catastrophes.
If you have ever felt this way, remember this: When adversity hits, the first step you take is the most important, not because it was the right or wrong step, but because you took a step. This begs the question, how do we muster the courage or find the will to take this initial step? It begins with negating that which prevents action in the first pace, our emotional participation in whatever event we’re dealing with.
Below, then, is a step by step method of managing and overcoming adversity. This isn’t an overnight, magic pill solution; nothing worthwhile ever is. This is instead a system of problem-solving and self-improvement that is built on sound science and extensive research. It has also helped my clients and me overcome every obstacle we have encountered, in both our professional and our personal lives. The only thing it requires is your belief and your honest dedication throughout each step.
Enter, again, the Learn Plan Act (LPA) Problem-solving Model
1. Turn emotional participation to emotional observation (Prepare)
Why: emotional participation in an event makes it impossible (or nearly impossible) to view that event objectively, and an objective perspective is an absolute necessity in finding the optimal solution to any problem.
How: if you’re unfamiliar with emotional observation via meditation, please read my article On Meditation. This skill, as I mentioned above, is not a quick fix and will take time and patience to develop. That said, you will begin to feel the soothing and empowering effects of this technique after the very first attempt. There are few feelings more empowering than knowing that you can face your worst emotions and not be deterred or influenced by them.
Outcome: once you learn to view a difficult situation calmly, without involving your emotions, you are then mentally ready to find a solution. In short, your mind is receptive to answers.
2. Gather knowledge and seek guidance (Learn)
Why: even the smallest issues seem larger than life when we don’t have a genuine idea of what’s actually happening. Ignorance and lack of knowledge are almost always pathways to negative emotional participation. Ignoring this step will ensure you remain forever entangled in your emotions, helpless and unable to proceed in any direction.
How: access every reliable source you can find and learn as much as you possibly can about the problem. The operative word here is “reliable.” Gossip, hearsay, and Google don’t count. Instead try discussing the issue with someone you know to be knowledgeable (through valid research) and level-headed.
Outcome: to repeat what I’ve written several times before, we fear what we do not know. Learning about something is the best way to better understand it, and a better understanding always leads to less uncertainty and fear. In short, you eliminate your fears by embracing, accepting, and then understanding them.
Leverage yourself via accurate knowledge of the problem and your surroundings
3. Separate useful information from non-useful information (Plan)
Why: knowledge is fine and dandy, but it’s accurate knowledge that leads to a relevant and worthwhile solution. Climbing up the wrong ladder might lead to a certain height, but often not the one we want to reach.
How: if you have followed step two well, chances are your work here will be minimal. Even still, it helps to separate objective facts from subjective opinions on a piece of paper or word processor, which can then be used as a blueprint to form a plan of action. This practice, more than anything, leads to the eventual habit of automatic fact-opinion separation. We see this remarkable quality embodied in those rare individuals who can tackle the toughest of situations with complete calm and control. They are not above fear or panicking; they just know it brings no benefit.
Outcome: considering a pool of information and knowing what is actually useful to you leads to the realization that, yes, this problem (or any other) is in fact surmountable. In short, this ability builds self-belief like none other.
4. Take action based on accurate knowledge (Act)
Why: the better question is, why not? After taking the time to master your emotions, expand your knowledge, and painstakingly separate the fruitful from the fruitless, why in the world not? If you’ve come this far, why stop now?
How: find the faith in you to stick to your plan. Believe that whatever strategy you conceived is good enough to take you forward; if it’s not, then at least you will know that you need a new plan. Even that, in my books, is a step forward. If you do not act on a plan of your own making, you are effectively telling yourself that you do not believe in yourself. Success stays far, far away from such a person.
Outcome: action might at times lead to failure, but nothing else ever leads to success. It is therefore action and action alone that leads to competence, which in turn builds confidence. Confidence does not come with reading an article or some theory. It comes from being out there, getting your hands dirty, and putting yourself in the path of the storm (not literally).
This happens only with persistent action
Last Word
Don’t wait for the next big misfortune to apply this model. Use it now to analyze and solve problems that you have already encountered. Get familiar with it. Learn and internalize it, so that when adversity strikes next, it finds a seasoned veteran who, at least mentally, has faced and overcome it before.
"Never, Never, Never Give Up" /Winston Churchill