Goatees are Evil

12 years ago

There was a Pew survey that said that 87% of the people with goatees were evil clones of nice people.

Riffle is my evil clone.

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Dan Riffle 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Riffle is my evil clone.

The data you provided proves the above statement false.

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

There was a Pew survey that said that 87% of the people with goatees were evil clones of nice people.
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- Claude Whitacre 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  The data you provided proves the above statement false.
  
  Hoisted with my own petard.
  
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Rick Rodd

12 years ago

Aww... you two are just cute.

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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Rick Rodd

Aww... you two are just cute.

You're half right.

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bizgrower

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

You're half right.

Good to see you're still following Cali's advice and being nice to Riffle.

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Dennis Gaskill

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Rick Rodd

I just had a haircut. Mohawk with matching goatee. You can't see it because I have this horse mask, but I pretty much believe I look way more awesome now.
Movember's coming up and this is what I'm donning right now.

Ooooh . . . it's a mask.

Originally Posted by HeySal

Um.........as you pointed out - it's November. Winter's coming, so you shave almost all the hair off your head?

I know what you mean, I grow a beard for the winter just for the extra warmth it provides. Well, that and my wife likes it. I think Rick is from Australia though, so it's spring coming for him.

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It took almost 8 lines before I recognized the Cowsill's song.

Took me one, which only proves I listened to that song way too much when I was a kid.

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ThomM

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Rick Rodd

I just had a haircut. Mohawk with matching goatee. You can't see it because I have this horse mask, but I pretty much believe I look way more awesome now.
Movember's coming up and this is what I'm donning right now.

Did you watch Axe Cop last night by any chance?

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HeySal

12 years ago

Um.........as you pointed out - it's November. Winter's coming, so you shave almost all the hair off your head?

Whether it looks awesome or ridiculous -- I, as a woman who is sensitive to cold, will never, never, understand why a guy would buzz his head in the winter.

She asks me why, I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night, hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low, don't ask me why, don't know
It's not for lack of bread, like the Greatful Dead, darlin'
Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy
Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair
Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas, in my hair
A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees
A nest for birds, there ain't no words
For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair
I want long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braided
Powered, flowered and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spahettied
Oh say, can you see my eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short
Down with here, down to there
Down till there, down to where it's stuck by itself
They'll be ga-ga at the go-go, when they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond, brilliantined, biblical hair
My hair like Jesus wore it, Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son, why don't my mother love me?
Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair

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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Um.........as you pointed out - it's November. Winter's coming, so you shave almost all the hair off your head?

Whether it looks awesome or ridiculous -- I, as a woman who is sensitive to cold, will never, never, understand why a guy would buzz his head in the winter.

She asks me why, I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night, hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low, don't ask me why, don't know
It's not for lack of bread, like the Greatful Dead, darlin'
Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy
Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair
Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas, in my hair
A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees
A nest for birds, there ain't no words
For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair
I want long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braided
Powered, flowered and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spahettied
Oh say, can you see my eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short
Down with here, down to there
Down till there, down to where it's stuck by itself
They'll be ga-ga at the go-go, when they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond, brilliantined, biblical hair
My hair like Jesus wore it, Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son, why don't my mother love me?
Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair

It took almost 8 lines before I recognized the Cowsill's song.

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HeySal 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It took almost 8 lines before I recognized the Cowsill's song.

Well see what I mean? Your brain is freezing. You may want to regrow your hear or start wearing a cap. I'm pretty sure Rick Rodd still has the other side of the Horse available if you need headgear.
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Sal
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Beyond the Path
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- positivenegative 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by HeySal
  
  You may want to regrow your hear or start wearing a cap.
  
  Unfortunately he can't do one and won't do the other.
  
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socialentry 12 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Whether it looks awesome or ridiculous -- I, as a woman who is sensitive to cold, will never, never, understand why a guy would buzz his head in the winter.

Going bald.
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Kurt

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Rick Rodd

I just had a haircut. Mohawk with matching goatee. You can't see it because I have this horse mask, but I pretty much believe I look way more awesome now.
Movember's coming up and this is what I'm donning right now.

And Claude has an inverse mohawk. Between the two of you, you have a full head of hair.

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Claude Whitacre 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

And Claude has an inverse mohawk. Between the two of you, you have a full head of hair.

My wife tells me that inverse mohawks are coming back in style. But...maybe she's just telling me that, so I'll stop crying.

Kurt made me cry.
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- Cali16 12 years ago
  
  So, Rick, take off the horse mask and show us the new 'do and 'tee.
  
  Just be warned, though, you might make Riffle jealous...
  
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  bizgrower 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Cali16
  
  So, Rick, take off the horse mask and show us the new 'do and 'tee.
  
  Just be warned, though, you might make Riffle jealous...
  
  Or, you might be asked to put the mask back on.
  
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bizgrower

12 years ago

Goatees don't kill people, Riffles or Rodds kill people.

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Nice Sabino 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Cali16

So, Rick, take off the horse mask and show us the new 'do and 'tee.

Oh! You wouldn't want to, I tell you.

Originally Posted by bizgrower

Or, you might be asked to put the mask back on.

I'll bet on this! Go Rick, I'll take the picture for you! Better look for your best angle.
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Rick Rodd

12 years ago

Just in time for halloween...

Don't worry Sal, my hair (or fur or mane depending on how people look at it) grows very fast. Not unlike some people who are experiencing premature baldness.

If that is a superpower then I have facial hair with regenerative powers, making Hugh Grant a run for his money.

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WalkingCarpet

Banned 12 years ago

Goatee will make ur nose look bigger.

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Rick Rodd 12 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

Goatee will make ur nose look bigger.

Oh I have chest hair too, but not as much as yours.
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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

Goatee will make ur nose look bigger.

I use a magnifying glass for exactly the same purpose.

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WalkingCarpet Banned 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I use a magnifying glass for exactly the same purpose.

That's the bald truth right there.
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Kurt

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I use a magnifying glass for exactly the same purpose.

Here's a dramatic recreation of Claude's experience using a magnifying glass:

Monkey-ed Movie: The Full Monty - YouTube

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Kay King

12 years ago

Goatees make me feel guilty. Years ago we had a neighbor with a goatee. Mr. Harry was very proud of what I called his "tuft". Every now and then I'd stare at his chin until he noticed the stare...then I'd mention his goatee seemed a bit off center.

No matter what he was doing outside - within a minute or two he'd scurry indoors to look in the mirror.

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bizgrower

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

Goatees make me feel guilty. Years ago we had a neighbor with a goatee. Mr. Harry was very proud of what I called his "tuft". Every now and then I'd stare at his chin until he noticed the stare...then I'd mention his goatee seemed a bit off center.

No matter what he was doing outside - within a minute or two he'd scurry indoors to look in the mirror.

Evil Kay.

What was it you said about his toupee'?

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Kurt

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I use a magnifying glass for exactly the same purpose.

I belive that is a van dyke, not a goatee. More specifically, a dick van dyke.

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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

I belive that is a van dyke, not a goatee. More specifically, a dick van dyke.

Kurt; I don't get it. Dick Van Dyke is a legendary actor and song and dance man.

The Van Dyke in his name is just his name. It has nothing to do with facial hair.

And no matter what you say, I'm going to act as though I didn't get your post.

Claude Whitacre..author of "The Art Of War With Kurt"

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Kurt

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Kurt; I don't get it. Dick Van Dyke is a legendary actor and song and dance man.

The Van Dyke in his name is just his name. It has nothing to do with facial hair.

Maybe with a little help from Lil Pharma you could have a merry poppins...

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Claude Whitacre 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Maybe with a little help from Lil Pharma you could have a merry poppins...

Nicely done.

I told my wife about your "Lil Pharma" crack. She laughed too.
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- Kurt 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Nicely done.
  
  I told my wife about your "Lil Pharma" crack. She laughed too.
  
  You are the Milton Berle of the OT, stealing other peoples' jokes...
  
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ronrule

12 years ago

Evil Spock always had a goatee. That can't be a coincidence.

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Claude Whitacre 12 years ago

Originally Posted by ronrule

Evil Spock always had a goatee. That can't be a coincidence.

"Evil Spock" is my pet name for Riffle. And "Riffle" is my pet name for a black cat that hangs around our store. And "Meow" is the pet name the cat has for Evil Spock.

The circle of life.
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whateverpedia

12 years ago

Goatees make the wearers face look like a map of Tasmania.

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Dennis Gaskill 12 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Goatees make the wearers face look like a map of Tasmania.

I'll consider that a compliment.
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Rick Rodd

12 years ago

Or, Or... I could one up this into a full-blown Mutton Chops. Watched a youtube video of Lemmy from Motorhead. It's like the reverse goatee, which mean much better that having receding hair.

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ronrule

12 years ago

Some goatees look like they went down on it and came up with it.

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Goatees are Evil

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