Don't flip off a monkey

by Kurt

Posted: 11 years ago 43 replies

OFF TOPIC

Monkey dropkicks young man after the guy flashes...

msdobe 11 years ago

Very funny. Apparently that monkey knows sign language!!
Jenny
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- tagiscom 11 years ago
  
  Send him over to Justin Beiber, immediately!
  
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  Kurt 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by tagiscom
  
  Send him over to Justin Beiber, immediately!
  
  That may be your best joke ever.
  
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  tagiscom 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  That may be your best joke ever.
  
  LOL, hmmm, could be!
  
  And include a note, saying, "Accept this cute little monkey, as payback for all the songs you attempted to sing". PS he loves to have his picture taken!
  
  PPS, stand on the belcony when you take his picture, he will smile if he can see outside!
  
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  bizgrower 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by tagiscom
  
  Send him over to Justin Beiber, immediately!
  
  Send Justin Bieber to the monkey. Please.
  
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whateverpedia

11 years ago

Actually it might not have been the finger that caused the response. It might just have been looking it in the eye, as that's understood to be a sign of aggression with primates.

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Kurt

11 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Actually it might not have been the finger that caused the reaponse. It might just have been looking it in the eye, as that is understood to be a sign of aggression with primates.

It could be. Or, it could be a sound the guy made or the movement he made towards the monkey that put the monkey on "alert".

However, none of those reasons are as funny. Sometimes it's more fun not to over-analyze things.

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whateverpedia 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Sometimes it's more fun not to over-analyze things.

True dat......
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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

You have ignore the obvious; The monkey is the guy's ex-wife.

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Kurt

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

You have ignore the obvious; The monkey is the guy's ex-wife.

I assumed the monkey was near-sighted and thought the guy was you...and you were its ex-wife.

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

I assumed the monkey was near-sighted and thought the guy was you...and you were its ex-wife.

Claude would never divorce a monkey. For him, that's known as "marrying up."

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Kurt 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Claude would never divorce a monkey. For him, that's known as "marrying up."

That's true. But a monkey would divorce Claude. And if a monkey recognized Claude, it would have drop kicked Claude AND thrown his poop at Claude.

More Claude Trivia: Because of his primate playmates, Claude is the inspiration behind this Stones song:

The Rolling Stones Monkey Man - YouTube
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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Claude would never divorce a monkey. For him, that's known as "marrying up."

Jerk. I'll have you know, that I've had marriage offers from several monkeys, and I've always turned them down......

I have my standards, you know. I'm just grateful that my wife does not.

Originally Posted by Kurt

That's true. But a monkey would divorce Claude. And if a monkey recognized Claude, it would have drop kicked Claude AND thrown his poop at Claude.

Ha! That's just more poop for me!

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Kurt

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Ha! That's just more poop for me!

BTW, since you're the unequaled expert in the field, what's the best vacuum cleaner attachment for monkey poop?

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

BTW, since you're the unequaled expert in the field, what's the best vacuum cleaner attachment for monkey poop?

Your tongue.

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tagiscom

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Your tongue.

Does that come with attachments?

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by tagiscom

Does that come with attachments?

When I think of Kurt's tongue, it's less a matter of "come with" and more "come on".

as in "Come on...what are you waiting for?"

What did you think I meant?

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tagiscom

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

When I think of Kurt's tongue, it's less a matter of "come with" and more "come on".

as in "Come on...what are you waiting for?"

What did you think I meant?

Hmmmm, yes, but l was waiting for a more below the belt remark!

No, Monkey business here!

I won't go ape over that post.

Phew, enough!

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lanfear63 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

BTW, since you're the unequaled expert in the field, what's the best vacuum cleaner attachment for monkey poop?

I expect in your animal poop business, you have best sellers. Claude likes the poop from the Reeses Monkey, he likes the nutty flavour.
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- Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by lanfear63
  
  I expect in your animal poop business, you have best sellers. Claude likes the poop from the Reeses Monkey, he likes the nutty flavour.
  
  Reeses Monkey.......Wow.
  
  Originally Posted by bizgrower
  
  You really need to apologize for that one.
  
  To Claude's wife. And monkeys.
  
  Yeah I was going to say.....wait....What?
  
  And also, Huh?
  
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- Kurt 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by lanfear63
  
  I expect in your animal poop business, you have best sellers. Claude likes the poop from the Reeses Monkey, he likes the nutty flavour.
  
  Claude likes the Feces Monkey, and gives them bananas in hopes they'll be his "organ grinder".
  
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bizgrower

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Claude would never divorce a monkey. For him, that's known as "marrying up."

You really need to apologize for that one.

To Claude's wife. And monkeys.

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by bizgrower

To Claude's wife.

I've met Claude's wife. Either she's blind and has no sense of touch (or smell) or has never looked in a mirror. Just thinking of the disparity gives me migraines.

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bizgrower

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I've met Claude's wife. Either she's blind and has no sense of touch (or smell) or has never looked in a mirror. Just thinking of the disparity gives me migraines.

Probably a good recovery.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I've met Claude's wife. Either she's blind and has no sense of touch (or smell) or has never looked in a mirror. Just thinking of the disparity gives me migraines.

You're not alone.

Everyone that knows us, wonders, "Him? You married..him?"
I must have done something really great, in a previous life...or she did something really bad. But for whatever reason, I hit the lottery with her.

Originally Posted by bizgrower

Probably a good recovery.

It really was a good recovery.

I thought of acting offended, just to see how Riffle would react. But he would see through it.

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I thought of acting offended, just to see how Riffle would react. But he would see through it.

I specifically worded the "marrying up" comment to be certain it couldn't be taken as insulting your wife. If you read it closely you'll see that it does not: the comparison is directly between yourself and the monkey.

The second comment was added, not as a recovery, but to get a couple more shots in.

As usual, I have to explain my jokes to Biz.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Your joke could have been read either way. I knew what you meant. Biz probably did too. I choose to take what you say, in the worst way imaginable. It's just more fun that way.

I assumed you weren't trying to recover.

But seriously, I thought of trying to convince you that I was offended, because you insulted my wife. I could have continued the rest of the day, relishing every moment. I just don't think you would have bought it.

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Your joke could have been read either way. I knew what you meant. Biz probably did too.

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I choose to take what you say, in the worst way imaginable.

You probably should.

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

But seriously, I thought of trying to convince you that I was offended, because you insulted my wife. I could have continued the rest of the day, relishing every moment. I just don't think you would have bought it.

I probably would have feigned remorse and "accidentally" made it worse. It would have been fun.

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bizgrower

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Then one would not be reading for comprehension. "Marrying up" is a comparison of one spouse to the other, not an old spouse to a new spouse, at least, in every scenario I've encountered it.

Today's lesson:
Hypergamy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You probably should.

I probably would have feigned remorse and "accidentally" made it worse. It would have been fun.

I'm not sure we should let you Frank Donovan your way out - hypergamy. Good try though.

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Dan Riffle 11 years ago

Originally Posted by bizgrower

I'm not sure we should let you Frank Donovan your way out - hypergamy. Good try though.

Any comparison to Frank is a compliment as far as I'm concerned.

I wonder if the joke would have worked better that way:

"Claude would never divorce a monkey. For him, that's known as hypergamy."

Nah.
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- Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Any comparison to Frank is a compliment as far as I'm concerned.
  .
  
  You should take a comparison of you to any human as a compliment. I would call that Trading Up.
  
  Added later; So Frank Donovan is now a verb.
  
  Frank Donovan; (Verb) To "Frank Donovan" means to argue the precise meanings of words, adding clarity to an argument, for the edification of all.
  
  Riffle; (Verb) to urinate publicly.
  
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  Dan Riffle 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  You should take a comparison of you to any human as a compliment.
  
  Well, maybe not any...
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Riffle; (Verb) to urinate publicly.
  
  Close. It's actually to violently urinate publicly.
  
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  whateverpedia 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Riffle; (Verb) to urinate publicly.
  
  Whitacre, (verb) to urinate publicly on your own feet.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by whateverpedia
  
  Whitacre, (verb) to urinate publicly on Whateverpedia's feet.
  
  Fixed it for you.
  
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  whateverpedia 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Fixed it for you.
  
  LOL That joke backfired on you - my feet are always in my mouth.
  
  Wait a minute,,,
  
  MODS, DELETE THIS POST NOW!!!!!
  
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  tagiscom 11 years ago
  
  Gee, all of this ranting, sorry but this needs to be shown...
  
  Peter Gabriel - Shock The Monkey - YouTube
  
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  whateverpedia 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by tagiscom
  
  Gee, all of this ranting, sorry but this needs to be shown...
  
  Peter Gabriel - Shock The Monkey - YouTube
  
  Great choice of song.
  
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Kurt 11 years ago

Whitacre - noun. A circular unit of measurement roughly equivalent to the area of an acre, and is based on the circumference of Claude's waste.
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- Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  Whitacre - noun. A circular unit of measurement roughly equivalent to the area of an acre, and is based on the circumference of Claude's waste.
  
  My "Thanks" are all used up for the day. Not that the fact would matter here.
  
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  Kurt 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  My "Thanks" are all used up for the day. Not that the fact would matter here.
  
  And I have plenty of "Thanks" left and that doesn't matter here either.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  And I have plenty of "Thanks" left and that doesn't matter here either.
  
  Just wanted you to know, my Thanks are back on.
  
  No Thanks to you.
  
  (see what I did there?)
  
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- lanfear63 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  Whitacre - noun. A circular unit of measurement roughly equivalent to the area of an acre, and is based on the circumference of Claude's waste.
  
  How would you know the circumference of Claude's poo anyway.?
  
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  Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by lanfear63
  
  How would you know the circumference of Claude's poo anyway.?
  
  For the same reason he knows the circumference of a hotdog.
  
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Don't flip off a monkey

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