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Claude is so kind!

by Zodiax
18 replies
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Let's all take a moment to appreciate how kind and compassionate Claude is.

His patience for stupidity and redundancy is the greatest I have ever seen.

You will always be appreciated.
  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by Zodiax View Post

    Let's all take a moment to appreciate how kind and compassionate Claude is.

    His patience for stupidity and redundancy is the greatest I have ever seen.

    You will always be appreciated.
    You forgot about "humble".
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Originally Posted by Zodiax View Post

    Let's all take a moment to appreciate how kind and compassionate Claude is.

    His patience for stupidity and redundancy is the greatest I have ever seen.

    You will always be appreciated.
    "His stupidity and redundancy is the greatest I have ever seen"

    Fixed
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Someone forgot to remind me that July 1st is National Bizarro Day.
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    Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Someone forgot to remind me that July 1st is National Bizarro Day.
      A reference only a few will get.

      My favorite is Bizarro Spidermen.
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      “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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    • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Someone forgot to remind me that July 1st is National Bizarro Day.
      That's because it is actually national sycophant day. I was unsure with Frank's lovefest, but this just seals it.

      Claude, do you think maybe you could bless my phone script? You see, my calls have not been getting returned at the rate they used to, and I thought maybe if you laid your hands on the script and said a few special words about me, I mean it, and sent some of that magical aura my way, business might pick up and I'll be able to afford that new Wrangler a bit sooner. What do you say?
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      • Profile picture of the author Cali16
        Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

        Claude, do you think maybe you could bless my phone script? You see, my calls have not been getting returned at the rate they used to, and I thought maybe if you laid your hands on the script and said a few special words about me, I mean it, and sent some of that magical aura my way, business might pick up and I'll be able to afford that new Wrangler a bit sooner. What do you say?
        Now I have a mental picture of Claude dressed like the Pope... and it's just...so....wrong!!!
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        • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
          Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

          Now I have a mental picture of Claude dressed like the Pope... and it's just...so....wrong!!!

          Great. Now I have that image stuck in my head, too. You don't want to know where I picture the Rosary...
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          Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

            Great. Now I have that image stuck in my head, too. You don't want to know where I picture the Rosary...
            I do! Tell me, tell me, tell me!
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            “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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        • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
          Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

          Now I have a mental picture of Claude dressed like the Pope... and it's just...so....wrong!!!
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          Great. Now I have that image stuck in my head, too. You don't want to know where I picture the Rosary...

          Here, Claude dressed as Caesar should fix that.

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          Fifteen Lessons I have learned over 15 years and six businesses (or, My 1000th-Post Manifesto)
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

        That's because it is actually national sycophant day. I was unsure with Frank's lovefest, but this just seals it.

        Claude, do you think maybe you could bless my phone script? You see, my calls have not been getting returned at the rate they used to, and I thought maybe if you laid your hands on the script and said a few special words about me, I mean it, and sent some of that magical aura my way, business might pick up and I'll be able to afford that new Wrangler a bit sooner. What do you say?
        You seek an audience with his Holiness, Jean Claude 1st. As his personal agent, for a small fee I can have him come to your house. He usually just blesses carpets though. Dont be perturbed when he arrives. His handbag's not really on fire, it's just burning perfumed incense. He uses it in his "Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back" ritual. Ask about his "Whole Home Blessings" which will include your script.
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Claude is so kind!
          You're not wrong.


          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
            I can imagine Claude's sermons.

            He would be covered in tomatoes when he's finished.
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            'I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion'
            -Muhammad Ali

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            • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
              Originally Posted by Zodiax View Post

              I can imagine Claude's sermons.

              He would be covered in tomatoes when he's finished.
              He's usually covered in tomato sauce after a KFC bucket.
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              • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
                Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

                That's because it is actually national sycophant day. I was unsure with Frank's lovefest, but this just seals it.

                Claude, do you think maybe you could bless my phone script? You see, my calls have not been getting returned at the rate they used to, and I thought maybe if you laid your hands on the script and said a few special words about me, I mean it, and sent some of that magical aura my way, business might pick up and I'll be able to afford that new Wrangler a bit sooner. What do you say?
                National sycophant day? Damn, l thought that l had all the US holiday events covered?

                I thought that around this time all US, residents went away on a long weekend, and had a barbecue, and got drunk?

                Then celebrated having the freedom to get drunk?


                Sounds like one of ours, except we like the shrimp on the barbie thing, or Koala, whatever we can find!

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  • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
    Banned
    Originally Posted by Zodiax View Post

    His stupidity and redundancy is the greatest I have ever seen.
    Fixed that for you.

    Cheers. - Frank

    OOPS! I did not see your post, Lan. Great minds do think alike. Either that, or that was just too darn easy! lol
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

      Fixed that for you.

      Cheers. - Frank

      OOPS! I did not see your post, Lan. Great minds do think alike. Either that, or that was just too darn easy! lol

      i am not redundant. I'll say it again, I am not redundant.
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      One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

      “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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    • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
      Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

      Fixed that for you.

      Cheers. - Frank

      OOPS! I did not see your post, Lan. Great minds do think alike. Either that, or that was just too darn easy! lol
      If you ever need to commit suicide, you know who to call .

      *claude* cough
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      'I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion'
      -Muhammad Ali

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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    So Claude's paying posters now, huh?
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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