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Are you a Super Hero?

by joe golfer
32 replies
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If so, consider adding this to your super powers.

Now you can shoot fireballs from your hands.


That's right, Super, this has your name all over it. Here's more background:

Pyro mini is a new $150 gadget that lets you shoot fireballs from your hands
https://bgr.com/2015/11/17/pyro-mini...ing-announced/
  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    K, so I am moddin' my bacon bra asap...
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter


      I AM Wonder Bra!
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      "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post



        I AM Wonder Bra!
        I have exactly the same outfit. One of us is copying the other. My lawyer will be in touch.
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        “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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        • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          I have exactly the same outfit. One of us is copying the other. My lawyer will be in touch.
          Please don't post photographic proof you have the same costume.

          Having said that, I'm sure yukon or Shane are going to be making a "contribution" to this thread shortly.
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          Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
          So that blind people can hate them as well.
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        • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          I have exactly the same outfit. One of us is copying the other. My lawyer will be in a latex onesie with bat wings.
          Jus' usin' my spidey sense here.
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          Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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          • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
            Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

            Please don't post photographic proof you have the same costume.

            Having said that, I'm sure yukon or Shane are going to be making a "contribution" to this thread shortly.
            They better be sure to add some pyro mini action coming out of the bra.
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            "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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            • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              I have exactly the same outfit. One of us is copying the other. My lawyer will be in touch.
              GULP!

              Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

              Please don't post photographic proof you have the same costume.

              Having said that, I'm sure yukon or Shane are going to be making a "contribution" to this thread shortly.
              Yes, not sure how l feel about someone digging up Micheal Jacksons gloves, but if it is for good then fair enough!

              But as always l blame NASA!

              I am more of a quiet, low key evil genius, but l use my powers for good!

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              `
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        • Profile picture of the author Kurt
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          I have exactly the same outfit. One of us is copying the other. My lawyer will be in touch.
          The difference is, with your extra pudgy body and man boobs, that wonder bra outfit is a wonder pasty on you.
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

            The difference is, with your extra pudgy body and man boobs, that wonder bra outfit is a wonder pasty on you.
            I have a glandular condition, and major health problems. Why are you so mean to me? I always thought you were such a nice man. But lately, you just seem to be so mean to me.

            It's called Body Shaming. And it hurts.

            My support group coordinator is going to hear about this.
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            “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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            • Profile picture of the author Kurt
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              I have a glandular condition, and major health problems. Why are you so mean to me? I always thought you were such a nice man. But lately, you just seem to be so mean to me.

              It's called Body Shaming. And it hurts.

              My support group coordinator is going to hear about this.
              It's called a jock strap. At your age, you don't want those things bouncing around your knees.
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              • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                It's called a jock strap. At your age, you don't want those things bouncing around your knees.
                I've had three unsuccessful groin surgeries. I can't help how it looks. And I'm way too weak to bounce them on my knees. And I had my knees replaced. The scars are horrific.

                I'm so ashamed of my body.

                I hope you're happy. I can't stop crying.


                Added a minute later; This is Cheryl, Claude's hot wife. Why are you picking on poor Claude. He has feelings, you know. OK, he doesn't have much feeling in his nether regions, but he's an old man...an old frail man.

                Claude keeps holding onto the idea that he has friends. Can't you be nice to him, just once? His tears are getting my outfit all wet...my wet...clingy...outfit.
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                “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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  • Profile picture of the author bryan2015
    No ,i am not.
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    • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
      Originally Posted by bryan2015 View Post

      No ,i am not.
      Uh-huh. Exactly what a superhero would say...
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      The bartender says: "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."

      ...A tachyon enters a bar.

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      • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
        Banned
        Since I'm not interested in fathering any more children, I'm putting that on my Christmas list. One way to be sure the holiday season is replete with roasted nuts.

        Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    My scientific demonstration of why Claude needs "support":


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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Kurt;

      I wish I could hold the clackers like that. But my arthritis in my fingers is just so bad....

      Not that you care.
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      “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Kurt;

        I wish I could hold the clackers like that. But my arthritis in my fingers is just so bad....

        Not that you care.
        "I wish I could hold my Knackers like that. But my arthritis in my fingers is just so bad...."

        The real meaning of the sentence.
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        Feel The Power Of The Mark Side

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      • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I wish I could hold the clackers like that.
        That's right folks, here in the OT forum we go from shooting fireballs from our hands
        to discussions about holding our knackers... Professional trolls would be envious!


        screencast
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        The bartender says: "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."

        ...A tachyon enters a bar.

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        • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          This is Cheryl, Claude's hot wife. Why are you picking on poor Claude. He has feelings, you know. OK, he doesn't have much feeling in his nether regions, but he's an old man...an old frail man.

          Claude keeps holding onto the idea that he has friends. Can't you be nice to him, just once? His tears are getting my outfit all wet...my wet...clingy...outfit.
          Hi Cheryl!

          Does your wonderbra shoot flames? You could use those to dry yourself up.

          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          Kurt;

          I wish I could hold the clackers like that. But my arthritis in my fingers is just so bad....

          Not that you care.
          It might not be so bad if you give up your weekend gig....
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          "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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          • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
            I'm beginning to think that Cheryl's alleged, intermittent appearances in Claude's posts could be a scam. They seem to be too overly supportive, biased and defensive towards him. Just a gut feeling but I have a slight suspicion that he is writing them himself.

            If some of you girlies could engage her in conversation that only girlies would know about we may be able to trip him up.

            As always, this post includes keywords that will make Claude forget he ever read it due to some linguistic hypnosis I subjected him to a couple of years ago. (he may thank this post however because he will think it's a picture of fluffy kittens which he adores)

            I will leave the topics up to you.

            Thanks
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            Feel The Power Of The Mark Side

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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Ever notice how every time Cheryl posts a message, her eyes are blinking S.O.S. in Morse code? And I don't think she means creamed chipped beef...although Claude does qualify as the "S" on a shingle.
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      Ever notice how every time Cheryl posts a message, her eyes are blinking S.O.S. in Morse code? And I don't think she means creamed chipped beef...although Claude does qualify as the "S" on a shingle.
      And I thought she was saying: Dii Daa Dit, Claude Eats African Elephant S&%t
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Gentlemen...and Kurt;

      I am Cheryl, Claude's hot wife.

      Claude is way too humble to come out and say it, but he really enjoys your insults.

      He loves Mark's insults, because they show a poetry, and linguistic artistry.

      He loves Kurt's insults, because at least he knows that he won't be alone in Hell.

      My handsome husband, Claude Whitacre, whom I adore....is far more handsome than any of you. He spends most of his day, just growing more handsome. Not like you losers.

      Sincerely, Cheryl Whitacre...my hot wife.

      (The Fools! They bought it! I know they did!)
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      “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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      • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Sincerely, Cheryl Whitacre...my hot wife.
        Tripped up in one thread. Ha!
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        "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

          Tripped up in one thread. Ha!
          My God! That was completely unintentional. I had no idea I did that.

          I am sooooo embarrassed.

          I hope my hot wife (she calls herself that all the time) forgives me, he said.
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          One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

          “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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  • Profile picture of the author tanjir niller
    oh that's one cool thing to have
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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post


      I hope my hot wife (she calls herself that all the time) forgives me, he said.
      Originally Posted by tanjir niller View Post

      oh that's one cool thing to have
      A hot wife?

      It's not confirmed that he actually has one.
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      "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

        A hot wife?

        It's not confirmed that he actually has one.
        I've always gone on the theory that if he actually does have a wife, it's because she lost a bet.


        The only other thing I can think of is she's blind, deaf and doesn't have her senses of touch and smell...and lost a bet.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

          I've always gone on the theory that if he actually does have a wife, it's because she lost a bet.


          The only other thing I can think of is she's blind, deaf and doesn't have her senses of touch and smell...and lost a bet.
          I've used that joke myself.

          I also tell people, "Either she did something terrible in a previous life, and is being punished for it, or I did something great in a previous life, and am getting rewarded for it. We can't be sure which one".
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      • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
        Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

        A hot wife?

        It's not confirmed that he actually has one.
        He does and it has to do with why he is out of the Pick Up Artist market.
        But, it's not what you're thinking.

        When he tried that field, he kept getting the terminology mixed up.
        You know seduction, dating, etc. - so he did sedating and the rest
        is history.

        Now you know the rest of the story.
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        "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    I've met Claude's wife. The only explanation I can come up with is that it was an arranged marriage and his wife's parents were rewarded handsomely. Or Cheryl committed a crime for which there is no statute of limitations and Claude has the only evidence under lock and key.
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    Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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