Suffered far too long..

DONT YOU DARE LEAVE THIS WORLD. I have lost 2 of my best friends to suicide and 2 other friends to cancer. I don't know what your situation is really right now, but be strong if you can and seek help if you cant do it on your own.

Well, if we're to avoid jumping to conclusions, we must admit that we don't know what form help will take, nor what help he will respond to, nor whether, failing due diligence, which he probably needs someone else who cares about him to help with, given the depth of his despair, he might end up with a bad professional; they are out there. Or he could end up with a deep friendship that helps him more than any prescription could. We just don't know.

The best we can do, with our minimal familiarity with him and his problems, is to offer kind and encouraging words, and our best thoughts at this moment, which I see in many posts above, including yours; I'm not trying to bust your chops, and the concern you and others have shown makes me proud to be part of this community.

But I have a different point of view, and a deep suspicion of the industry of psychology and especially psychiatry, which have accounted for a huge and troubling trend in the US, toward getting more and more people (even kids who don't do well sitting still for hours on end in school) hooked on drugs, many of which are just plain dangerous, and have left hundreds of thousands of people with hideous side effects. Rarely is full disclosure given when the pills are prescribed.

My ex-girlfriend and I went to couples therapy together, and we took the therapist's suggestion that we each should see our own therapist in the same office as well, They were all nice, well meaning people, but her therapist, after a few weeks of her complaining about feeling unhappy, got frustrated, and started suggesting that she might need to see a psychiatrist in order to get drugs to treat her "depression".

She was definitely not clinically depressed, and thank goodness, turned down the drugs, and started feeling better when we worked out our differences, and she made some other changes. The "depression" was due to being frustrated in her relationship and her job; she needed to make life changes, but the therapist lacked the confidence to be comfortable hearing the lack of discernible progress week after week, and I believe worried that it reflected poorly on her skills. She was willing to get my GF into a serious drug habit to avoid facing the limits of what she was able to do, or how fast, with her level of training and talent.

Which is to say, buyer beware, and don't overestimate people who are paid to care, nor underestimate peers who offer their caring freely, nor simply someone who can help a person make important changes in their life. Many times support groups are far more powerful and life changing than paid sessions, as we need that bond that can only come from peers who have gone through or are going through similar trials.

But what do I know? This is just what I have to give right now.

Edit: afterthought that just might be my best: sometimes a horse or a dog is by far the best therapists; they have worked wonders where the best humans have failed.

PPS: to the OP; I don't know your name, but sorry for speaking in the third person about you rather than to you about such a deeply personal matter. Please be aware that I really care what you do, and want to see you happy healthy and whole, as I believe everyone who posted does. Hang in there buddy; it gets better.

No. Just a hope. If I have learned anything from my experience, it's that things aren't as bad as they seem. (At the time.)

I'm sorry if you don't find that helpful BigFrank, however it's the best I could give.

Frank, curious as to which kind of advice or comments you are warning against?

Mark

Frank, I've stayed out of this thread intentionally up until now, but want to comment on (and thank you for) what you stated above - which was spot on.

There were at least three potentially very harmful comments made in this thread:
If someone is depressed (and not everyone seriously contemplating suicide is depressed) or suffering, this very harsh, judgmental statement is just pouring salt on a wound (or worse, gas on a fire). Laying a guilt trip on someone who is suicidal is one of the WORST things you can do.

One of the goals for therapists is to instill hope in their clients who have little to none. BUT, Pollyanna optimism is not only unhealthy; it can also be very harmful and easily backfire.

People's lives don't always get better. The sun doesn't always come out again. The vast majority of suicidal individuals I've evaluated and / or treated weren't reacting to an acute or temporary situation. In many cases, their lack of hope stemmed from years or even decades of suffering. Statements like the above, although well-intentioned, are naive and can be perceived as hurtful and absurd by someone contemplating suicide. No one can guarantee future happiness, success, or fulfillment.

Another guilt-trip statement that is frequently based on religious beliefs. Imposing your own judgmental, religious / moralistic views on someone who's suicidal is very unwise.

One last comment: No one has the right to determine if someone else's life is worth living. Each of us can only decide that for ourselves.

Lol, I must live in another world.

Jonathan I give you credit. You are a good sport when it comes to interacting with the Frankmeister. lol

Many of us tried to be worthy but only to have been stomped down unmercifully from the legend. Cussing at him as we go back to our holes with our tails between our legs.

But you offered a glimpse of class. Kudos to you. You remind me of that Timex commercial. "Takes a licking but keeps on ticking"