Body Language

6 years ago

Study NLP.

During conversations, most of us fixate on words. What does this person mean and what shall I say in return? It's been long established that words are the least meaningful aspect of communication, conveying just 7% of meaning (Mehrabian, 1972).
https://inlpcenter.org/what-is-neuro...ogramming-nlp/

It's why emojis were invented, and the reason there are so many misunderstandings in online text-based communication.

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cyber cyber 6 years ago

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Claude Whitacre

6 years ago

Originally Posted by jessicarobinson

How do I improve non verbal communications in teaching?

It happens naturally when you are genuinely interested in the subject, and interested in teaching your students.

It's nearly impossible to fake effectively.

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IGotMine

6 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It's nearly impossible to fake effectively.

But it can be improved. I taught myself to not appear so angry and defensive. I didn't feel that way but feedback from others told me I gave off that vibe.

Keeping my arms down instead of crossed on my chest. Not pacing around. Smiling sometimes.

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Claude Whitacre

6 years ago

Originally Posted by IGotMine

But it can be improved. I taught myself to not appear so angry and defensive. I didn't feel that way but feedback from others told me I gave off that vibe.

Keeping my arms down instead of crossed on my chest. Not pacing around. Smiling sometimes.

When I'm selling, my way of appearing interested and engaged is to talk very slightly louder than normal and talk very slightly faster than normal. I mean maybe 5% difference. It sounds like normal conversation, but mimics enthusiasm.

We can change our gross motor functions...but facial cues? Not really. When we are talking to someone (or listening) our faces give off thousands of micro expressions we are completely unaware of. Women tend to be better at spotting these. It's why someone can tell if you are insincere or lying.

My wife is very adept at spotting my facial cues.

When I used to train salespeople, I really tried to look like I was engaged, interested, and understanding. But I'm not by nature an empathetic person.

When my wife happened to be there once, after I was done training, she said "You have to learn how to hide your contempt for some questions". See, I thought I was hiding it quite well..but she could see it.

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Dan Riffle

6 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

When my wife happened to be there once, after I was done training, she said "You have to learn how to hide your contempt for some questions". See, I thought I was hiding it quite well..but she could see it.

This is because you're a slack-jawed half-wit.

It doesn't take years of training to learn not to roll your eyes, sigh, purse your lips, squint your eyes, etc. It simply takes self awareness and a smidge of giving a shit.

Poker players, at least good ones, are prime examples of how one can train away these clues.

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Claude Whitacre

6 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

This is because you're a slack-jawed half-wit.

It doesn't take years of training to learn not to roll your eyes, sigh, purse your lips, squint your eyes, etc. It simply takes self awareness and a smidge of giving a shit.

Poker players, at least good ones, are prime examples of how one can train away these clues.

My dear nonessential person...

I was talking about micro-expressions. Rolling your eyes is overt. My wife was talking more about the slight flexing of my jaw or a slightly deeper breath before I answer the question.

These are not as obvious as the expressions you are talking about.

Surely, your wife can give an almost completely blank expression to you, and you pick up nuances that no other living person could see?

That's what I'm talking about.

When my wife and I are talking, if I raise my voice 1% above normal, or talk with just slightly less affection...in her mind, I just yelled at her. It's almost like that when she says something to me, and her voice li slightly more monotone.

It's from being in each other's company for 32 years, nearly all the time.

Playing poker is different from trying to completely hide emotions like disgust, hate, revulsion.There are hundreds of facial cues that are involuntary. It's why actors generally have to feel the emotions they are portraying, at least in the moment.

When customers are talking to me, I'm generally smiling. Only my wife can tell if I'm smiling because I'm enjoying them, or smiling because I'm hiding contempt for them.

By the way, you inane drooling half man...

I never said it took years of training. I never even said you could control your micro-expressions.

Not rolling your eyes is easy. Not folding your arms, pursing your lips, tapping your feet, snorting through your nose, or furrowing your brow are all things we can consciously control.......

And that's not what I was talking about. Right now, I'm smiling....as I type this. Not because I think my answer is clever, but because i know that you are just F3cking with me.

You lying dog faced pony soldier.

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Dan Riffle

6 years ago

Lord, it's like talking to a turnip but less engaging.

Even micro-expressions can be managed if you're aware of them. However, most people don't care and have no real reason to care.

The only time it's a real issue is when what's being communicated conflicts with actual emotion. This learned behavior can be unlearned. Unless, of course, you have the brain activity of a root vegetable.

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

My dear nonessential person...

I was talking about micro-expressions. Rolling your eyes is overt. My wife was talking more about the slight flexing of my jaw or a slightly deeper breath before I answer the question.

These are not as obvious as the expressions you are talking about.

Surely, your wife can give an almost completely blank expression to you, and you pick up nuances that no other living person could see?

That's what I'm talking about.

When my wife and I are talking, if I raise my voice 1% above normal, or talk with just slightly less affection...in her mind, I just yelled at her. It's almost like that when she says something to me, and her voice li slightly more monotone.

It's from being in each other's company for 32 years, nearly all the time.

Playing poker is different from trying to completely hide emotions like disgust, hate, revulsion.There are hundreds of facial cues that are involuntary. It's why actors generally have to feel the emotions they are portraying, at least in the moment.

When customers are talking to me, I'm generally smiling. Only my wife can tell if I'm smiling because I'm enjoying them, or smiling because I'm hiding contempt for them.

By the way, you inane drooling half man...

I never said it took years of training. I never even said you could control your micro-expressions.

Not rolling your eyes is easy. Not folding your arms, pursing your lips, tapping your feet, snorting through your nose, or furrowing your brow are all things we can consciously control.......

And that's not what I was talking about. Right now, I'm smiling....as I type this. Not because I think my answer is clever, but because i know that you are just F3cking with me.

You lying dog faced pony soldier.

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Claude Whitacre

6 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Lord, it's like talking to a turnip but less engaging.

Even micro-expressions can be managed if you're aware of them. However, most people don't care and have no real reason to care.

Dear useless human...

After I read your post and Kurt's I actually looked up Micro-expressions. And I realized that this isn't really what I meant. I used the wrong word.

The expressions shown as micro-expressions are just the first reflexive start of an expression that is generally involuntary.

But these expressions are far more overt that what I was talking about.

I was meaning the very small parts of an expression what wouldn't be picked up consciously by most people.

For example, a very slight furrowing of the brow. A very slight narrowing of the eyes.

Like when you get a shot. Even if there is very little pain, your face still reacts. A slow motion camera with a close up of your face would be able to show the slightest reaction.

These reactions can be trained to be faked, I suppose. But they cannot be trained to be erased. These are reflexes of small nerves.

With me, my wife would see a very slight smile only at the corners of my mouth, or a quarter second delay in my inhale...and she could tell I was annoyed by the person.

When you guys were talking about Tells in poker, I realized that we might be talking about two different things.

So in fairness, I was wrong. But even when you're right, you're still annoying.

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Kurt

6 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Dear useless human...

After I read your post and Kurt's I actually looked up Micro-expressions. And I realized that this isn't really what I meant. I used the wrong word.

The expressions shown as micro-expressions are just the first reflexive start of an expression that is generally involuntary.

But these expressions are far more overt that what I was talking about.

I was meaning the very small parts of an expression what wouldn't be picked up consciously by most people.

For example, a very slight furrowing of the brow. A very slight narrowing of the eyes.

Like when you get a shot. Even if there is very little pain, your face still reacts. A slow motion camera with a close up of your face would be able to show the slightest reaction.

These reactions can be trained to be faked, I suppose. But they cannot be trained to be erased. These are reflexes of small nerves.

With me, my wife would see a very slight smile only at the corners of my mouth, or a quarter second delay in my inhale...and she could tell I was annoyed by the person.

When you guys were talking about Tells in poker, I realized that we might be talking about two different things.

So in fairness, I was wrong. But even when you're right, you're still annoying.

I was also talking about these. While most people (and poker players) don't notice them, it's a skill that can be learned. And winning or losing money is a great training device.

For example, a person that drew their card may breath a little deeper or they may glance at their stack of chips.

Psychological levels is identifying who is aware of these things and who isn't.

Cheryl told you that you have a tell. You were unaware she knew this until she told you. She was on Level 2 and you were on Level 1.

Now you're on Level 2. You know she knows.

And since she told you, she's now on Level 3 and knows that you know that she knows. And now you're also on Level 3.

In poker this would cast a little doubt on her being able to read you as now she can't be certain you aren't faking a micro expression, since you're now aware that she's aware.

Math players are very good players, but it's the ability to read players (in addition to the math) that creates the real money winners.

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Kurt

6 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

My dear nonessential person...

I was talking about micro-expressions. Rolling your eyes is overt. My wife was talking more about the slight flexing of my jaw or a slightly deeper breath before I answer the question.

These are not as obvious as the expressions you are talking about.

Surely, your wife can give an almost completely blank expression to you, and you pick up nuances that no other living person could see?

That's what I'm talking about.

When my wife and I are talking, if I raise my voice 1% above normal, or talk with just slightly less affection...in her mind, I just yelled at her. It's almost like that when she says something to me, and her voice li slightly more monotone.

It's from being in each other's company for 32 years, nearly all the time.

Playing poker is different from trying to completely hide emotions like disgust, hate, revulsion.There are hundreds of facial cues that are involuntary. It's why actors generally have to feel the emotions they are portraying, at least in the moment.

When customers are talking to me, I'm generally smiling. Only my wife can tell if I'm smiling because I'm enjoying them, or smiling because I'm hiding contempt for them.

By the way, you inane drooling half man...

I never said it took years of training. I never even said you could control your micro-expressions.

Not rolling your eyes is easy. Not folding your arms, pursing your lips, tapping your feet, snorting through your nose, or furrowing your brow are all things we can consciously control.......

And that's not what I was talking about. Right now, I'm smiling....as I type this. Not because I think my answer is clever, but because i know that you are just F3cking with me.

You lying dog faced pony soldier.

Maybe the single most impactful skill I've taken from poker and applied to "real life" is understanding the difference between intentional and unintentional tells.

Intentional tells (bluffs) are lies. Unintentional tells are the truth. But you also have to factor in psychological levels. Is the other person aware? Are they aware that I'm aware? No point in bluffing someone that doesn't even know you're bluffing.

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tagiscom

6 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

When I'm selling, my way of appearing interested and engaged is to talk very slightly louder than normal and talk very slightly faster than normal. I mean maybe 5% difference. It sounds like normal conversation, but mimics enthusiasm.

Sucking in helium isn't necessary!

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Dray Armstrong

Banned 6 years ago

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Jeffery 6 years ago

Originally Posted by Dray Armstrong

First time doing this I need you all thoughts I like it and honestly you will too.. please only positivity

High school date? Backseat banter?
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Princess Balestra

6 years ago

Hey, sumtimes rollin' eyes happens in dialog, if only to get the deal back on track.

Tellya, anywan rolls their eyes at Moi when I talkin', I pull out my brow tweezers an' roll 'em back my way.

PAY ATTENTION!

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Odahh

6 years ago

Originally Posted by jessicarobinson

How do I improve non verbal communications in teaching?

Talk to many many more people .about a wide range of topics and unless they prove total imobiciles .there is probably some thing they know you can add to your knowledge bank.

The fastest way to master is for a male is to talk to as many attractive woman as possible .and learn not to give off any of the signs that creep out a woman .