Plans for the Holidays ??

My wife's sister, brother-in-law, his brother, and her nephew are coming over for Christmas dinner.

My brother-in-law is severely allergic to cat dander...and we have two cats. So the day before they stop by, there will be a lot of cleaning.

We are all quite old now, so there won't be a lot of dancing, jumping off the roof, wife swapping, or Tom Foolery.

We'll mostly be talking about who has died, and what operations we are planning next year.

It's a weird feeling....knowing that we almost certainly can count the number of times we will all be getting together...on two hands.

And yes, I'm so old and feeble, I need both hands to count my fingers on one hand.


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Nothing special for this holiday .Just working hard as usual

Me l am...

Remembering the days
Of inkwells and apples
And books and school plays
Where little Brer Rabbit kissed Pooh in the wood
And Fluff was the cat that sat on the rug

We are doing...nothing. No one coming in town till after Christmas - not going anywhere Quiet, laid back, stay-at-home holiday weekend...which will work due to the winter storm predicted for Friday.


Temps are predicted to drop 40 degrees F Thursday....not good. Loading up the bird feeders - critters will need fuel.

Just staying home over the Holidays. Will watch some of the professional and college football games over the weekends. Have fun at Crafty B@$tard with your buddy. Stay safe everyone.

I went out to the horse farm today to take bunches of carrots (with the tops) to the horses for Christmas - and some dog treats for the 8 dogs that live there.

Found my friends who own the farm hard at work taking equipment OUT Of three barns. We are expecting a big storm late tomorrow through the next couple of days. Temps predicted to drop 30-40 degrees in a few hours tomorrow with rain, then freezing rain, then snow...and 40-50 mph wind.

They removed the farm equipment from the barns so they can put the horses in the barns. The horses can usually handle the low temperature, snow they can handle....freezing rain in those temps not so much. The normal shelters are not fully enclosed so won't work for this storm. Amazing how much work is involved taking care of so many animals!


I'm glad we don't have family coming in until after Christmas - going to be rough traveling in many areas this weekend.

Max5ty -


Had forgotten you are in Ohio, too. You are much farther north so may be worse for you than for us. I'm about 50 min north of Cincinnati and often these storms track a bit north or south of us....but don't think this storm is going to do that


For us, it's good timing - we don't have to worry about travel - have plenty of food and a gas fireplace if we need heat. Hate it for the folks traveling this weekend , though.

We're gearing up today due the coming Snowmegedan. Finishing various tasks we could've put off, pre-treating the drive and walks for ice, a little extra grocery shopping, etc.

We were planning to travel a little on Christmas Eve, but now we're staying home. Now, I have to cook. We'll be having traditional Xmas fare Sunday and Monday, so I'm thinking roasted Mojo pork tacos and street corn for Christmas eve to change things up. I'll complement that with churro-inspired hot chocolate to keep with the Latin theme.

I would wish always to distinguish btwn the impondrabyool an' the implacabyool.

But when it is holidays, FFS, get outta my face alla that schwango!

All I know is, you jus' gotta suffuse with the brilliantest vibes you can touch on.

Could be loved ones ...

cherished traditions or pets ...

or home-printed bisscits make evrywan puke so your Mom don't even speak 'bout 'em no more.

Thing 'bout Chrissmuss is ... it is a way for people to cum togethah an' apologise for what they said at Thanksgivin'.

"I never meant to call you a *******."

"And I never meant to imply your penis was the size of a petrified gherkin simply because it actually is."

"So ... are we slicing the festive meat from this turkey breast, or what?"

"Nope. Ima slicing your face off because you called me a *******, you *******."

Tellya, you can sure feel the love this timea year, anyplace you gowin'. Or thrown outta.

Jus' gotta wannit, I guess.

Yeah, but watch out you don't INADVERTENTLY sit on the STAR fell from the TREE in your EZ-SLIP-ON-SLIP-OFF ELF SUIT bcs the gusset they gaht on there is made for SHOW an' naht FESTIVE WARFARE.

I still carry the scars from that fkr.

What mattahs, I guess, is how we all be momentarily as one.

But if the mistletoe is kind, for sure I will extend the moment far as I can.

The yooniversal grandyoore of the moment permits interactive stuffs beyond the selfish, humdrum, an' inconsequeshly stoopid.

Which is why we always find usselves cummin' togethah at Chrissmuss -- an' if'n we cain't, it is a speshl kinda torment in addition to our yoozywl travails.

So are we gathrin' togethah to kinda fyool up for the fyootcher, jus' as the food we eatin' (tradishnly) been stored up from when we was incineratin' our tits in the summah heat?

All I know is, I would wish for evrywan here to enjoy cool days ahead, whatevah that actschwlly means for y'all.

For Moi, it is plz the frickin' Star Wars movie franchise, do naht show at random durin' I lappin' up muh grayvee an' thrust sum zero name harlot 'pon muh celebrations in no ditzy blitzy kinda starsoot.

"Sorry, Princess, but this movie deal works like a reindeer rutting situation. Mitzi BlitzBitz is simply preparing the ground for the movie-themed toy excitement ahead, like a warm-up act. If you're uncertain of our culturally invasive methodology, Liam Neeson will be along here any moment with his protuberent swagger."

George Lucas nevah wanted this when he dreamed up Princess Leia aftah accidentally drownin' his cat in the wash while washin' the blood offa his mistrussies panties.

But that is how sci-fi woiked before evrywan knew what they was dowin'.

(Btw, I believe there is a helpline if'n your fam celebrations are invaded, destroyed, downgraded, or othahwise sullied by Jedi-centric fooksy-spooksy.

Deal is, you call up, an' Vadah husself incinerates a random cousin with hitherto unwitnessed flamethrowah powah delivahed direc from her fanjpipe.)

What the stoopid is happnin' to Chrissmuss?

Tellya, back in the day they had the THREE WISE MEN to sort alla this out.

Referencin' back ovah to the BLONDES post, gotta tellya THREE is an impossibly high score for Nuthin' A.D. -- naht to mention rn.

Even the baybee Jeezis shoulda figured at least one of 'em was a fraud.

You gotta blame them swadderlin' clothes for that ovahsight imho.

Hey, but that was then, an' this is now.

(Though genetically speakin' we gaht the same kinda cow seen in the rijnyool nativity scene.)

So ... yeah ... propulse gloriously togethah, I guess.

Or knit a 250 foot high woolen MOLLUSC from the styloid bones of fallen Vikings.

I know which wan I gowin' for, for sures ...

Historically, the utilitarian chastity belt been deployed by women to protect their tinglydanglies an' exotic undercarriage areahs from bein' molested by men.

Howevah, at Christmas I sure gotta strap one of these babies firmly in place to stop muh farts gettin' out.

It is most unPrincessly of Moi, I know, but I can wake sleepin' dogs on a whim, convince small children that poltergeists are in control of nearby curtains, an' transform any evryday bathtub into a spa pool.

That is why yogah class can be a real prahblem sumtimes.

Sum gals cain't relax, an' you feel for 'em when they layin' there all tense.

But in the higher aischelawns of the Ditzy Dainty, we can let go all ovah, tellya.

So you gaht all kindsa sighs, yawns, Mmmmms, an' othah zero combat moanin' optschwaahns crackin' off in subtle combinations as we honin' our bendin' talents.

Tellya, you drahp an elephant seal aria moment into that pool of calm, you askin' for trouble.

So what canya do when you lyin' prosterate on yuh back with yuh legs in the air ... soakin' up the relaxin' sounds of dolphins, coipu, kangaroos, an' sum weirdsy Scandanavian ukulele quartet ... an' you get that feelin' you know deep down is a humdingah waitin' to happen ... butchya cain't get up an' stick yuh ass outta the window ... butchya cain't lie there holdin' it in also bcs that against yogah principle!

Anywan tried that 'half in, half out' strategy?

Yanno, whenya figure you can ease out the tornado if'n you deft of aperture?

Dunno.

It has worked plenny times at meetings, weddings, restaurant dates an' queues in the store.

Plus also on an airplane once.

But I still perfectin' it for yogah.

My teachah knows my thigh gap intimately, across a range of postures an' stretch fabric incarnations, so if' there any deviation on my part bcs fartsy throughput, she onto Moi in a flash.

Thing is, it all gotta cum out sumplace, an' it is bettah that place is your ass than your tear ducts or nostrils.

Ask any professional flautist.