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Is that me or is Christmas getting sadder as time goes by?

by socialentry
10 replies
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A lot of people I know died during the pandemic or shortly thereafter.


Christmas just seems like a reminder that I have a few less relatives and friends to say Merry Christmas to. So this generates mostly melancholy and sadness. Is this normal for people or is it just me?
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  • Profile picture of the author discrat
    it can be a time of great Joy and Celebration

    But on the other hand it can be downright cruel . A period of time where the loss of a dear one is magnified
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    I lost my wife a few months ago.

    This is the first Christmas I've spent without her. I went to her sister's home for dinner. There were a couple of relatives there, ones I care about....and my brother-in-law set an extra place at the table....for my absent wife.

    It touched me a great deal.

    But.....as we get older, our friends pass on at ever greater frequency.

    And as we get older, our roll at Christmas changes. It turn from a time of gift getting and joy, to a time of caring for others and being there for the younger ones.

    At least that's my theory.

    I have no reason to believe that Christmas, as a holiday, is getting sadder for the general public.

    I do know that next Christmas will be more tolerable for me, maybe even a reason to be happy.
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    • Profile picture of the author Monetize
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      I lost my wife a few months ago.

      This is the first Christmas I've spent without her. I went to her sister's home for dinner. There were a couple of relatives there, ones I care about....and my brother-in-law set an extra place at the table....for my absent wife.

      It touched me a great deal.

      But.....as we get older, our friends pass on at ever greater frequency.

      And as we get older, our roll at Christmas changes. It turn from a time of gift getting and joy, to a time of caring for others and being there for the younger ones.

      At least that's my theory.

      I have no reason to believe that Christmas, as a holiday, is getting sadder for the general public.

      I do know that next Christmas will be more tolerable for me, maybe even a reason to be happy.

      I hate to tell you this but next Christmas will probably be just as
      difficult, and so will all the other days of the year.

      This was my fifth Christmas without my husband, I was feeling
      a little better, and I would have put up a tree except I didn't have
      time, because I'm working on a new project.

      Just do your best, try to keep yourself occupied with things that
      interest you, do what you think your wife would have wanted
      you to do, and you will be (sort of) all right.

      I told you this before but I will remind you again to take care of
      yourself by eating as well as you can, staying hydrated, getting
      your rest and self-care. Just simple things like putting lotion on
      your feet, or wherever, will make you feel better.

      If you don't have a pet and you think it will help, get one even
      if it's just a fish, it will give you something to care for.
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      Monetization Skool
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Monetize View Post

        I hate to tell you this but next Christmas will probably be just as
        difficult, and so will all the other days of the year.

        This was my fifth Christmas without my husband, I was feeling
        a little better, and I would have put up a tree except I didn't have
        time, because I'm working on a new project.
        The reason I think next Christmas (and next year) will be better is that I can tell I'm slowly getting out from under that crushing sense of loss...and that constantly repeating sudden realization that she's gone...really gone.

        And thank you for caring.

        By the way, it really does help that I have two cats to care for, and her family makes a real effort to include me in their lives.

        And I've started writing again, so that keeps me occupied.
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post


      I do know that next Christmas will be more tolerable for me, maybe even a reason to be happy.
      I think you are ahead of the game with having the right attitude. You are going into a situation where you have a positive mindset and are already visualizing yourself as being happy.
      Therefore i think you will be happy contrary to what some may think.

      Remember , EVERYONE is different. Plus, i think more than anything Cheryl would want it that way
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  • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
    Originally Posted by socialentry View Post

    Christmas just seems like a reminder that I have a few less relatives and friends to say Merry Christmas to. So this generates mostly melancholy and sadness. Is this normal for people or is it just me?
    Part of it is just life in general. Both of my parents died in December, my mom only a few years ago on the 21st. Plus knowing people who died on Dec 25th or around that time. Things in life changed.

    I don't know where you live. However, being here in NJ, it's been cold, windy, cloudy, with a few storms. The days are very short, which presents challenges in staying indoors most of the time. Some people suffer from seasonal depression this time of year. I could see that causing someone to be sad. As we grow up, the excitement of waiting for Santa is replaced with getting gifts from friends and family, which fades away over time.

    There are ways to make the Season better, such as giving gifts to charities, donating money, or just being thankful. With 2026 right around the corner, figure out ways to make it a better year than 2025.

    To answer your question. I don't think you are alone in being melancholy or being sad. Just make sure you're not suffering from a lack of light or seasonal depression.
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    Originally Posted by socialentry View Post

    Christmas just seems like a reminder that I have a few less relatives and friends to say Merry Christmas to. So this generates mostly melancholy and sadness. Is this normal for people or is it just me?
    I'm about the same age as Claude. In my experience, occasions such as Christmas have become opportunities to reflect with happiness and gratitude on the enjoyable times I've had throughout my life.

    I can never feel bitter - I know I'm more fortunate than many to have such happy memories to look back on.

    What's helped me is remembering to get over myself; that it's not about me. Life is what it is.

    I wish you all a happy 2026.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post


      I can never feel bitter - I know I'm more fortunate than many to have such happy memories to look back on.
      That. That is going to be typed out, enlarged, and framed on my office wall. I'm not joking.

      Thank you for reminding me how fortunate I was and am.
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      One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

      “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post


      What's helped me is remembering to get over myself; that it's not about me. Life is what it is.
      and yet another one to print out and pin to your wall. Actually i'll go out on a limb here and say i think this is one of the crucial variables in deciding who lives a life worth living versus those who don't !!
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Is the glass half empty or half full?

    Same goes also for the bottle.

    Bcs evin if'n the bottle is only half full, that oughta fill the half empty glass an' top up the half full one.

    Win Win Meets Lose Lose, Dinky Style.

    So I'm with evrywan here figurin' evry noo Christmas is a fresh spectacle to behold, dusspite all losses an' setbacks.
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author spartan14
    Its not just christmas my man its the times

    Unfortunately devil grows stronger and stronger and it tricks people

    You see that people became bad day by day ,majority of people have interest nowadays and respect you only if you have a lot of money

    You see that many people go away from religion ,god etc and they choose the wrong way

    We live hard times but we need to keep our faith in god

    I hope you get my point
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    Atention : Not a quick rich scheme ,takes patience, consistency and some work also
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