The Crunch Mutiny...?
As many of you already know, yesterday I discovered that Captain Crunch had been demoted. Because this is one of my favorite breakfast cereals of all-time, I couldn't just let the issue go. I needed answers...and I needed them fast. So, I took the initiative to write the Quaker Oats Company, concerning this scandalous deed.
Here's what I said:
"Dear Quaker Oats Company,
Let me first say that I am lover and avid eater of Captain Crunch--particularly the Peanut Butter Crunch...it is, and will remain, my favorite breakfast cereal of all time!
This brings me to my point:
Yesterday, I was in the mood to partake in a hearty bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch, but as I reached for the box, something seemed askew. I carefully examined the box in order to settle my feelings of uneasiness. It was then that I realized exactly what was wrong--and it was not pretty. CAPTAIN CRUNCH HAD BEEN DEMOTED TO COMMANDER! I was horrified, to say the very least! I checked and checked and checked the box to see if perhaps my eyes were playing some sick joke on me, but no matter how I tried to count them, Captain Crunch was wearing 3 stripes, not 4, on his Service Dress Blues (perhaps in his Navy they call it "Service Dress Crunch"...I'm not really sure). As a member of the United States Navy, I am well aware of the fact that a COMMANDER (O-5) wears 3 stripes on his SDB's, while a CAPTAIN wears 4!
I was wondering if perhaps the Captain was demoted and Quaker Oats, in an attempt to protect its wholesome reputation just covered up the scandal. If so, what was the Captain accused of? I feel that over the years, he has brought so much joy to breakfast--and any error on his behalf could surely be overlooked, given his years of faithful service. Ask him to retire, put him in charge of another cereal, but please--don't demote him. It's so cruel and just plain offensive! Surely we all can agree that the Mr.Crunch deserves better than that.
If the Captain's portrait on the box is merely a fluke, and the Captain is, in fact, still a Captain, could the box possibly be changed in order to reflect his actual rank?
I'm sure that both the Captain...err...Commander and myself would be quite pleased if you could address and remedy this issue in a timely manner.
Respectfully Yours
Here's what I said:
"Dear Quaker Oats Company,
Let me first say that I am lover and avid eater of Captain Crunch--particularly the Peanut Butter Crunch...it is, and will remain, my favorite breakfast cereal of all time!
This brings me to my point:
Yesterday, I was in the mood to partake in a hearty bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch, but as I reached for the box, something seemed askew. I carefully examined the box in order to settle my feelings of uneasiness. It was then that I realized exactly what was wrong--and it was not pretty. CAPTAIN CRUNCH HAD BEEN DEMOTED TO COMMANDER! I was horrified, to say the very least! I checked and checked and checked the box to see if perhaps my eyes were playing some sick joke on me, but no matter how I tried to count them, Captain Crunch was wearing 3 stripes, not 4, on his Service Dress Blues (perhaps in his Navy they call it "Service Dress Crunch"...I'm not really sure). As a member of the United States Navy, I am well aware of the fact that a COMMANDER (O-5) wears 3 stripes on his SDB's, while a CAPTAIN wears 4!
I was wondering if perhaps the Captain was demoted and Quaker Oats, in an attempt to protect its wholesome reputation just covered up the scandal. If so, what was the Captain accused of? I feel that over the years, he has brought so much joy to breakfast--and any error on his behalf could surely be overlooked, given his years of faithful service. Ask him to retire, put him in charge of another cereal, but please--don't demote him. It's so cruel and just plain offensive! Surely we all can agree that the Mr.Crunch deserves better than that.
If the Captain's portrait on the box is merely a fluke, and the Captain is, in fact, still a Captain, could the box possibly be changed in order to reflect his actual rank?
I'm sure that both the Captain...err...Commander and myself would be quite pleased if you could address and remedy this issue in a timely manner.
Respectfully Yours
Patricia Brucoli
Plug-In Profit Site Helpdesk