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Relationship Distruction

by jessharv
14 replies
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I used to think that the fastest thing to breakup a relationship was cheating, but I think one think trumps this action--lack of communication. I mean some people really think they need extra-marital affairs or mistresses or boy toys or whatever they want to call the other person, but if there is a real lack in communication then almost everything else is fair game. What do you think?
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    I tend to agree - the philandering is not always the root cause of the destruction and it is a good bet communication had broken down first, and/or one partner has 'changed their mind' - about their degree of involvement or their actual feelings for their partner - in which case even communication may not help.

    I know one thing and that is I have rarely seen it help a relationship for one partner to break their promise and then they start to communicate when they figure out what happened and why. If anything it will be the end of communication since the offended partner may feel all bets are off.

    "It just happened" is not a good excuse but 'you were never there for me' if true, may be a reason it happened. The person straying must have realized the relationship might be done because they have betrayed their partner, and should think ahead of time if it is worth it - if they are willing to end the relationship just for whatever they derive from their little tryst.

    'finders keepers losers weepers'.
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  • Profile picture of the author jedz
    Banned
    There's a lot of reason why a relationship ends. Communication, time and cheating are some of them. Well, it really depends on your partner. If you really love each other and want your relationship to last, talk and fix the problem as soon as possible
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    • Profile picture of the author Aitor Astobieta
      "A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love" - Nietzsche
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      • Profile picture of the author Chris Worner
        Originally Posted by Aitor Astobieta View Post

        Compare today's marriages to that of your
        grandfather's generation, and you will be
        astounded at the difference.
        You are forgetting that back in those days women were objects and anything that was hers automatically became the husbands. Society at the time was much more religious and narrow minded in regards to sex relationships and divorce was MAJORLY frowned upon for both sexes and would result in being publicly humiliated and ostricized.

        Then there was a sexual revolution which put an end to that nonsense but likewise as a result, divorce rates went up.

        Don't you guys think people's attitude is the key in relationships?
        a positive attitude and good communication is very unlikely to restore sexual interest in your partner if your a man, unless the breakdown in the relationship was due to bad communication in relation to sex in the first place, men are visual creatures. We do not communicate in the same manner as women do.

        Why do you think each sex gets frustrated at the other in regards to communication? men speak using raw data and women tend to be alot more emotive in their language. Hence most men cannot stand reading romance novels.

        Not being sexist here, this is proven scientific fact.


        Chris
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        • Profile picture of the author Radix
          Communication itself is a moving target with regard to marriage.

          I honestly can't remember putting much effort into it early in my marriage. Now we speak, but more than 50% of the time we know what the other will say before the words are spoken. That I think is the key.

          Speaking is overrated.

          Communicating, as you said, is the key to any successful relationship.
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          Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
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  • Profile picture of the author ShanghaiTours
    Don't you guys think people's attitude is the key in relationships?
    Communication, royalty etc are based on your good wish----to make the relationship work and last.
    Some people are easy to chicken down, giving up communicating or making each other happy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    I got married at 17 years old.
    30 years ago.

    Communication IS the key.

    Say what you mean and mean what you say.

    If your relationship is based on who you are then it's all on the table.
    No sneak attacks or childish games.

    You either Married the person because you wanted to spend the rest of
    your life with them or you're still maturing while playing House.

    Have a Great Day!
    Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author ckbank
    Could it be maybe that the lack of communication is due to distrust and cheating?
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    Now that's what I call Guerrilla Marketing.
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  • Profile picture of the author bettersocial
    I still maintain that the fastest way to end a relationship is to cheat on your partner. If your partner has any sort of self respect (which, IMO he/she should have, otherwise he/she isn't probably worth the whole effort), cheating should put an immediate end to any relationship
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  • Profile picture of the author es5
    Originally Posted by jessharv View Post

    I used to think that the fastest thing to breakup a relationship was cheating, but I think one think trumps this action--lack of communication. I mean some people really think they need extra-marital affairs or mistresses or boy toys or whatever they want to call the other person, but if there is a real lack in communication then almost everything else is fair game. What do you think?
    It's easier to accept that some people are not meant for eachother no matter how hard they try
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  • Profile picture of the author whiteeth
    There's a lot of reason why relationship ends. What you have mentioned here were just some of them. For me, it's just depend on both of you... I mean, how you trust and love each other. I still believe that love conquer all.
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  • Profile picture of the author inprogress
    I think a lot of people think a relationship should always be easy and if it's not then it's time to call it quits and move on to someone who's not going to make you work as hard. The grass is always greener on the other side and if you could just find that perfect person you wouldn't have to put any work into your relationship, lol.

    Bottom line is there will be times when your relationship is hard. Why? Because life is hard. Crap happens, you can either be adults and communicate and go with it and come out stronger and with a better relationship, or you can call it quits.

    I think this generation is generally lazier and less committed. Everything needs to be easy. There's this myth going around that you just meet your soulmate and if everything is meant to be then it will all fall into place and be so easy. In my opinion, anything worth having is going to come with some degree of difficulty.

    My husband and I are insanely happy, but we've had our rough spots. We are incredibly close and open with each other and the hard times just make the good ones that much better.
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  • Profile picture of the author rypher21
    communication is one of the basics in havin a good relationship.. this how things started....you cant be in that relationship without a good communication..

    starts with meeting each other(talk,txt,call,write...whatelse)...communicat ion starts to grow from day to day..
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  • Profile picture of the author bexb88
    The perfect relationship is like the perfect business opportunity - it still takes dedication and a commitment to working through the hard times.

    Genuine 'get happy quick' relationships are as rare as genuine 'get rich quick' schemes, but increasingly, people want both and will move from one to the next in search of achievement without investment.

    That's not to say that we shouldn't be real about a relationship that really is never going to work, or a business that just won't cut it, but patience and perseverance are derided as weakness too often these days.

    So says the [very recently] single, IM newbie...
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