I'm Done...Time To Get Back To Work

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I'm putting it all out there in this post, so be warned...this could get messy.

The last couple of years I have bounced from full time work to semi retirement
to part time work to...well whatever.

But enough is enough.

I have spent the last year mourning the loss of my mother (who I go to
visit at the cemetery twice a week), writing songs and playing Texas Hold 'Em
until it's come out of my ears.

But 4 CDs and about $380,000 in play money from Texas Hold 'Em later, I'm
realizing that I'm pissing the rest of my life away.

My business, albeit not much, has suffered some. And while I don't need
the money anymore (everything is freaking paid) I do need a feeling of
self worth or I'll go crazy.

So I'm going back to work full time. And I do mean FULL TIME.

That means back to the long days. I have many projects lined up...one
of which I am already working on with another Warrior on a niche outside
of IM. I expect it to do very well.

One day I'm going to be on my death bed looking back at what I've done
and I don't want my last days to be about fantasizing about being a rock
star and beating a computer at cards.

I want to look back and say, "Damn, look what I accomplished."

Some would say I have nothing left to prove, building a 6 figure business
in less time than it takes most people just do eek out any kind of income.

But like the old saying goes, "What have you done lately?"

Nobody remembers your prior accomplishments. Only what you've done
today. Well, today...I'm not doing much of anything and it has to stop
or I'm going to become very disappointed with myself.

I realized today that I was happiest when I was working 14 hour days.
But somewhere along the way, somebody told me that I shouldn't have
to do that and because I was, I wasn't running an efficient business.

And somewhere along the way...I bought into that crap.

Bull sh*t...How I run my business is my business and if working 14 hours
a day makes me happy, then that's what I'll do.

The hell with anybody who thinks I'm a rotten excuse for a businessman.

What they think doesn't matter.

So it's time to get back to work. I went to the cemetery today and said
goodbye to my mom. I haven't been able to let go until now. But I have
to get back to living my life and leaving the past where it is.

Some of you might think this is flat out cold of me. Well, I can't bring my
mom back. But maybe I can do something to make her proud of me
wherever she is.

My wife says not to worry about the business. Like I said, we don't need
the money anymore.

Well, like I said...it's not about the money. It's about my self worth.

Egotistical?

Folks, we all have egos.

Some are just a little bigger than others.

You can wish me well, tell me I'm an idiot and should go on enjoying my
free time to piss my life away or say anything you want.

Me? I'm done.

Time to get back to work.
  • Profile picture of the author Bill Farnham
    Cool, Steven...if you ever need any help with video work, let me know. I have a few tricks I'm dying to try out...

    Seriously.

    ~Bill
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  • Profile picture of the author Gemini9
    Hey Steve,

    You've hit the nail on the head there when you say, 'It's all about self-worth.'

    What does it matter if you put in 4 hours or 14 hours of work daily as long as you're happy and content at the end of each day.

    Wish you all the best in your new endeavours.
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    I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
    'Invictus' - William Ernest Henley
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  • Profile picture of the author Hobo82
    Good Luck Steve,

    I have enjoyed reading your post's in this forum. I too enjoy and play music so I can relate you love for it. In days gone by I use to rock out with a band. Truly enjoyed playing in front of people and writing music.

    As far as IM, I am still in the infant stage, too much info - not enough action -confused -etc. Hopefully I can find a course and make it work.

    As far as you mom, I can relate, my mom passed away in November, man it sucks. It doesn't matter what age a person is, that kind of loss is hard. Hang in there and good luck.

    Hobo82
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    • Profile picture of the author Aussie_Al
      Good luck Steve

      Mourning the loss of a loved one is not easy to deal with

      I have to agree sometimes being immersed full time in business is good for your soul

      Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life

      All the best
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        So it's time to get back to work. I went to the cemetery today and said goodbye to my mom. I haven't been able to let go until now. But I have to get back to living my life and leaving the past where it is.
        It's not cold - you are recognizing it's time to move on. All we have when we lose someone is knowing how we treated them when we had them - I expect you did that very well. The frequent visits are about your grief - not about your mother's life.

        A life well lived is to be celebrated.

        kay
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    Lucky me we're in different niche markets.



    Al the best Steven.
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    People make good money selling to the rich. But the rich got rich selling to the masses.
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  • Profile picture of the author mr2020
    Hi Steven,

    Follow your love, your sense of purpose and live your vision!

    Thank you for sharing you here.

    Mr2020
    It's all about vision.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

    I realized today that I was happiest when I was working 14 hour days.
    But somewhere along the way, somebody told me that I shouldn't have
    to do that and because I was, I wasn't running an efficient business.
    Efficiency is bad for the people you love.

    Think about it. Efficiency is about maximising output with minimal effort in the shortest possible time.

    Now go try that on your wife, and see how happy she is.

    I've been very seriously putting together the skeletal framework of my next little masterpiece: The 168 Hour Work Week. Do the math.
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Efficiency is bad for the people you love.

      Think about it. Efficiency is about maximising output with minimal effort in the shortest possible time.

      Now go try that on your wife, and see how happy she is.

      I've been very seriously putting together the skeletal framework of my next little masterpiece: The 168 Hour Work Week. Do the math.
      I'll let my wife do the math since she does it for a living.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Henderson
    Steven, that was a very moving opening post.

    I'm glad to hear that you're going back into IM. It means that small-time noobs like me have someone to look up to.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ernie Lo
    Does this mean we get to see more Steve W posts, articles etc since you'll be on the pc more?

    Wohoo

    Seriously Steve, thanks for sharing your great thoughts with us and do what you gotta do to be happy...who cares what others think.
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Steven - for whatever it is worth, and I have said this to you before, whatever you do I am sure it will be good.

    Realize that some people 'work to live' while others 'live to work'. I am in the latter and don't plan on retiring until I can't see or become incapacitated. I love to work.

    You have the best of both worlds since you don't have to stress out because your survival depends on your success.

    Just do what you want to and if you don't need the money you should still save something and give some away to those who need it. That will give you a double banger feeling of accomplishment.

    Glad you are gonna stop listening to people that are negative and just plain jealous of your success. It's about time.

    It is really time for you to move on from your grief and it is a very healthy sign that you recognize this.

    I wish you all the best.

    "KICK OUT THE JAMS!"
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    You know I meant to put "quotes" and got sidetracked. That is exactly where I got that - MC5!

    I actually saw MC5 in person at the Straight Theatre in the Haight Ashbury back in the day when dinosaurs and 'diggers' roamed San Francisco!

    ... never forget
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  • Profile picture of the author Stuart Stirling
    you rock Steve!

    it's your life so you should do exactly what YOU want!

    its really shouldn't matter what it is as long as it makes you happy

    rock on!

    Stuart
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeena
    Hey Steeven,

    Goodluck ! ! !
    GOD Bless. . .
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  • Profile picture of the author jficarro
    Steve, Sorry for your loss. That's a tough one.

    You are someone I've always respected and admired around here. So, I'm happy to see you back in the game full time.

    I am the same way with work. a day off to me is depressing. I know that may not be too healthy, but I really love to work and I really love what I do.

    God Bless
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  • Steve,

    I too, lost my mother last year. It was in July and right at the time that Michael Jackson suddenly died......

    Long drive to Virginia from Florida and back......

    Everyone deals with loss in their own unique way.

    You have to follow that "voice" in your head. If you feel the need to work a lot harder because it makes you happier, then more power to you!

    Good luck, by the way and keep rockin!


    Jack
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    Improvise Adapt Overcome
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  • Profile picture of the author peter_act
    Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

    You can wish me well, tell me I'm an idiot and should go on enjoying my
    free time to piss my life away or say anything you want.
    Steven,

    No-one could ever accuse you of being an idiot, with the insightful comments you have made on this forum, and the help you've given other Warriors, including me.

    I am going to take your advice (again!) and wish you well.

    Cheers
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by peter_act View Post

      Steven,

      No-one could ever accuse you of being an idiot, with the insightful comments you have made on this forum, and the help you've given other Warriors, including me.

      I am going to take your advice (again!) and wish you well.

      Cheers
      Thanks Peter...I try.
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      • Profile picture of the author Tygrupe
        Steven,

        I commend you for being a strong survivor and KNOWING that your life has purpose.

        God, how many times do you hear it in the IM niche about people "living the internet lifestyle" and sitting on the beach picking sand out of their belly buttons while drinking an over-sized umbrella drink in front of their laptops?

        I can't speak for many people, but I think we all have a need to strive at being good at something, and the more that something helps others the better it feels. Sitting on the beach only feels good for so long.....

        I want to go to my grave knowing that I had a profound impact on at least a few lives, rather than sort-of helping alot of people, with a balance somewhere between the 2 being ideal.

        I swear the insurance companies are right when they give you lower rates once you have kids. My kids changed the way I feel about success, life the universe and everything. Definitely more mortal.

        Thanks for unloading, looking forward to more posts from you.

        Tyler
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