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Am I weird?

by Caleb Spilchen
54 replies
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Last night, I found out that my hairdresser had passed away.... And I realized that I would probably never have my hair cut the same way EVER again... I just used to sit down in her chair and she'd cut it right without instructions.

Every. Single. Time. Now, that she's gone, it makes me wonder if it'll ever be the same, I've still got pictures of how the hair looks when she cut it.

I guess you never realize how much you'll miss someone till there gone.



Caleb
  • Profile picture of the author rain21
    You are not weird, this can happen to anyone, people usually have less value of things they have, and missing a lot when they lose it
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    I would be completely heartbroken if that happened to me. My wife used to be a hairdresser, and she has given me all but two of my haircuts in the past 20 years.

    As to your weirdness, well this particular situation doesn't make you weird, but...

    All the best,
    Michael
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    • Profile picture of the author George Wright
      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      I would be completely heartbroken if that happened to me. My wife used to be a hairdresser, and she has given me all but two of my haircuts in the past 20 years.

      As to your weirdness, well this particular situation doesn't make you weird, but...

      All the best,
      Michael
      I can relate Michael. I had a favorite barber until I got married at which time I let my wife cut my hair. She did so well that I didn't go back to the barber. After about 10 years of marriage I decided to go see if my barber was still there. He was and I sat down to get a hair cut. A hair cut wasn't all he did, he cut the top of my ear with his scissors.

      My wife has been cutting my hair ever since.



      George Wright
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  • Profile picture of the author Bob Phantom
    HHMMM maybe you can try to bring your hairdresser back to life? otherwise, no you are not weird, hair is very important
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    May she rest in peace knowing she will be missed even by people she would not have thought she would even be missed by... her life touched yours and now its even reaching out touching ours.

    Who knows how many other directions it spans out into... every persons life affects more than they think it does. The scope of the things we touch and the places our thoughts go is way beyond what we imagine. For instance this hair dresser probably never imagined herself being discussed on a world wide marketing forum, even after she passed away, just because she cut some guys hair good...

    Again, who knows how many other directions her light spans into and how far out...

    So, knowing how much we actually impact life, its important to utilize this platform of life to positively affect the future.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Your reaction to it is completely normal. Not being affected by it would be abnormal.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Am I weird?
    Why yes, Caleb. Yes you are.

    But in this case, not so much so. Good service people are always missed when they go away.

    I had a hairdresser once that had my hair looking so awesome that people would cross streets to ask me who my stylist was. I even looked good getting out of bed in the morning (well....that one is by the wayside at this age no matter who I find with golden scissors). He got so good that he moved on to do the styles of the rich and not being able to travel hundreds of miles and drop 3 and 4 hundred on a haircut, I had to give him up. My hair life has never been the same. heavy sigh.

    Yes - everyone is right. When someone makes you happy in any area of your life, you're going to miss them when they are no longer around.
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    Sal
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    A MALE missing his "HAIRDRESSER"!?!?!?!? WIERD!

    Still, I can understand the problem. One time some IDIOT mentioned about a #1 tip on the clippers. And I am thinking "WHAT!?!?!? Isn't that like THIS big? And she said yes. I said I said I need a TRIM, I ALWAYS get a TRIM! MAN, I was upset that it got so close. That happened to me once about 40 years ago, where they actually cut all my hair off, and I still remember EXACTLY how I felt.

    BTW LUCKILY I have a simple haircut, and generally have ok luck.

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author drummermike
    Don't worry about it your normal. The only thing weird is how concerned you are with how people think of you, even if people did think you were weird, you shouldn't worry about. You are who you are.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Your hairdresser passes away and you're worried about your hair.

    Really?
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      Your hairdresser passes away and you're worried about your hair.

      Really?
      You have to forgive him Dennis he's weird.
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    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      Your hairdresser passes away and you're worried about your hair.

      Really?
      I'm sure he didn't know her well personally or the reaction would be different........and also - Caleb is 16. Death when you are still immortal is a betrayal.
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      Sal
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    • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      Your hairdresser passes away and you're worried about your hair.
      When you lose people, there's always something trivial that comes into your head and you just can't shake it. At least, that's how it's always been for me.

      I had an ex-girlfriend who died in a hit-and-run. The only thing I kept thinking was "I'll never see her with her natural hair colour again," because the week before she had bleached her hair blonde.

      I didn't think about anything meaningful. I just fixated on how the last time I saw her was with that blonde hair. I couldn't seem to think about anything else for days. By the time the funeral rolled around, I had moved on... to wondering if they were going to bury her in those white capri pants she liked.

      It seemed like they should, somehow, and for a long time I would have held forth at length about how if they ever cared about here, they owed her a burial in those white capri pants.

      I think it's just one of the ways the human brain deals with grief. You focus on something trivial to distract you from all the things you're really going to miss.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

        When you lose people, there's always something trivial that comes into your head and you just can't shake it. At least, that's how it's always been for me.

        I had an ex-girlfriend who died in a hit-and-run. The only thing I kept thinking was "I'll never see her with her natural hair colour again," because the week before she had bleached her hair blonde.

        I didn't think about anything meaningful. I just fixated on how the last time I saw her was with that blonde hair. I couldn't seem to think about anything else for days. By the time the funeral rolled around, I had moved on... to wondering if they were going to bury her in those white capri pants she liked.

        It seemed like they should, somehow, and for a long time I would have held forth at length about how if they ever cared about here, they owed her a burial in those white capri pants.

        I think it's just one of the ways the human brain deals with grief. You focus on something trivial to distract you from all the things you're really going to miss.
        I know, I didn't condemn him, just wanted to give him something to think about. I won't go into any more detail then that.
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        • Profile picture of the author tpw
          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          I know, I didn't condemn him, just wanted to give him something to think about. I won't go into any more detail then that.

          I swear Dennis, I am not stalking you.

          Not commenting is tough...

          So instead, I am going to share my first thought as it came to me. Fortunately, thanks to YouTube, I don't have to tell you. I can show you:

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  • Profile picture of the author atlanticenergy
    Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author ConsumerBoard
      Yes you are... your hair will look just fine without her..
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  • Profile picture of the author alg
    Well man there are many people to cut hair.
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  • Profile picture of the author Martin2010
    Yes you are weird

    Why would you take a pic after your hair has been cut? Do you seriously take the pic into the shop and say i want my hair cut like this?

    Also, no disresoect but judging by you avatar then there's not really much to your hair style.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Caleb,

    Perhaps it is time to move on to a better hairstyle. One that doesn't require a stylist at all. This way you won't have to mourn the loss of another one in the future.

    Take a look at the coolest people on the forum and you will notice they have one thingin common: baldness!

    Yes, I am suggesting you start shaving your head. It's easy. It's a style that you can have for the rest of your life. And you can do it yourself.

    Oh wait...nevermind. I was just thinking of who some of the bald people are here at the forum and think I have changed my mind. In fact, I'm not even going to make this post now that I think about it.

    ~M~
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  • Profile picture of the author Caleb Spilchen
    I shaved my head before....

    you dont want to see that, trust me bro.
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

      I shaved my head before....

      you dont want to see that, trust me bro.
      Lol.

      Man I will tell you what. I was so obsessed with my hair at your age... I was just about to give you Michaels advice and say "try a different hairstyle"... look at all the coolest rockstars who change their hair every week. You might find that you look cooler actually , chicks might even dig you more.... who knows?

      Definately though, and when you get forty you'll thank me for this.... if it starts fading in the middle.... shave it. Let it go bro... lol

      You dont wanna go round lookin like Friar Tuck!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author mattlaclear
    Just wait...it gets even better the older you get. The problem with growing older is that you will inevitably be exposed to more peoples deaths. My biggest bit of advice is to love the everlasting hell out of those that mean the most to you. Let them feel your love for them every single time they interact with you. You never know how long they'll be there for you to do so. Now go tell your parents that you love them!
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    • Profile picture of the author AEC
      Yea, The weird people are the ones that don't have feelings.

      If we are decent we miss people when they are gone.

      The older I get the more my friends mean to me.

      Originally Posted by mattlaclear View Post

      Just wait...it gets even better the older you get. The problem with growing older is that you will inevitably be exposed to more peoples deaths. My biggest bit of advice is to love the everlasting hell out of those that mean the most to you. Let them feel your love for them every single time they interact with you. You never know how long they'll be there for you to do so. Now go tell your parents that you love them!
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

    Last night, I found out that my hairdresser had passed away
    What, you don't use a barber?
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  • Profile picture of the author Roaddog
    Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

    Last night, I found out that my hairdresser had passed away.... And I realized that I would probably never have my hair cut the same way EVER again... I just used to sit down in her chair and she'd cut it right without instructions.

    Every. Single. Time. Now, that she's gone, it makes me wonder if it'll ever be the same, I've still got pictures of how the hair looks when she cut it.

    I guess you never realize how much you'll miss someone till there gone.



    Caleb


    I didn't misunderstand a damn thing.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

    So, I miss her, not the way my hair looked... sorry that someone mis understood.
    OK, so the "trolls" misunderstood you when you started with this.

    Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

    And I realized that I would probably never have my hair cut the same way EVER again... I just used to sit down in her chair and she'd cut it right without instructions.

    Every. Single. Time. Now, that she's gone, it makes me wonder if it'll ever be the same, I've still got pictures of how the hair looks when she cut it.
    BTW, when my barber, who I had used since 1991, retired in 2007, his shop was taken oven by a "hairdresser". The shop window suddenly became full of pictures with very trendy looking models, rather than people who a decent looking haircut. I refused to become a fashion show piece and so haven't had a haircut since then.

    Oh and BTW, when I was your age I also grew my hair long. Between the ages of 16 and 25 I only had my haircut twice, and that was only to get the ends trimmed. It ended up reaching half way down my back.

    Providing you regularly wash and brush it, the girls ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT, and constantly want to touch and play with it. 20 odd years later, the "gals" my age still love to run their fingers through a shock of long, well kept hair.

    Something to think about.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alan Petersen
    Not weird man. You're just dealing with the passing of someone you knew in your own way. Don't worry about those who jumped on you for "worrying about your hair" it's just your way of processing her death. We all do it differently. There is no right way. No weird way. Well... there are some weird ways but none that I've seen in your post.

    Hey that's cool you have a hairdresser as a teen. When I was your age I had huge long hair... it was the 80's... what can I say. When I was 16-17, I finally cut it when my Mom and Dad said I could use their car if I cut my hair. What can I say, the bribe worked vs. the junker I had.
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  • Profile picture of the author pethanks
    Her death has nothing to do with you because we will all die. It is best you will look for another.
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  • Profile picture of the author anderson22
    Totally not weird. People always get attached to their regular hairdressers/baristas/baggers at the grocery. We always like seeing familiar faces and you enjoy them, unfortunately, until they're really gone, you don't realize how you enjoyed them. That's why we should definitely be more grateful of them while they're still around
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    • Profile picture of the author sylviad
      No, not weird. I got your meaning. Losing her is going to be a constant reminder because she was the one who made your hair look perfect. It's not always easy finding a hairdresser who can meet your demands. I've yet to find one. I cut my own hair instead. Except one time, I found a stylist who did a really good job... but she talked so darned much the whole event took almost 3 hours - wash, cut and style. Nothing fancy.

      Odd things go through our minds when we lose someone.

      My mother died first, and I thought, "Hey. When my father dies, I will lose one word from my vocabulary - "Cheerio." We used it constantly growing up and into my 40s. It seemed odd that one day, I would stop using that word, it had become such a part of who I was. (In case you haven't guessed, we are British. )

      I guess it kind of compares to losing certain species of birds or plants that go extinct. You'll never see them again - ever.

      Now that's weird.

      Sylvia
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  • Profile picture of the author alexzman
    i know what you're going through.But try to make a clear explanation to the new one on how you want your hair to be cut.Not too many words tho.Those ppl get the wrong ideas when being in a conversation more than a minute i'm tellin you from experience.Good luck.
    ps. Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.
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  • Profile picture of the author oliviasmith
    No it's absolutely normal. You must have developed good relations with your hair dresser. That's why you think you have lost someone.
    And yeah some people are very touchy about their haircut and you're one of them
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  • Profile picture of the author CurtisN
    When most people start acting weird, it's those who stay unweird that start seeming weird

    So are you weird? Heck if I know. If I was weird and I called you weird, would that make you normal?

    I'm confused.
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  • Profile picture of the author BizLeadMachine
    Definitely the most interesting thread i've seen in a while.

    It is a little weird to have separation anxiety from a hairdresser. You must have REALLY loved the job she did on your hair. lol


    Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

    Last night, I found out that my hairdresser had passed away.... And I realized that I would probably never have my hair cut the same way EVER again... I just used to sit down in her chair and she'd cut it right without instructions.

    Every. Single. Time. Now, that she's gone, it makes me wonder if it'll ever be the same, I've still got pictures of how the hair looks when she cut it.

    I guess you never realize how much you'll miss someone till there gone.



    Caleb
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    • Profile picture of the author ureshii
      Yes, your weird. But so what, everyone's weird. (it's a quote from the movie "Stand By Me" actually)
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  • Profile picture of the author Justin W
    No you're not weird. Wish I had more to say but I just had to say you're not weird lol.
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  • Profile picture of the author Caleb Spilchen
    I don't think anyone understands the point of this thread yet...

    But keep talking about how weird I am

    Caleb
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    Canadian Expat Living in Medellin, Colombia

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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

      I don't think anyone understands the point of this thread yet...

      But keep talking about how weird I am

      Caleb
      Sorry, I thought you wanted an HONEST opinion! I think I made it clear that I understood your point, and STILL thought it was, or YOU were, still weird!

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Edward J
    Yeah. I agree. Your not weird....
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  • Profile picture of the author Caleb Spilchen
    anyone for a burger...

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    Canadian Expat Living in Medellin, Colombia

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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

      anyone for a burger...
      Do we get fries with that?
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      • Profile picture of the author Caleb Spilchen
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Do we get fries with that?


        And chicken fingers...
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        • Profile picture of the author Andie
          Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post



          And chicken fingers...


          Chickens don't have fingers, silly peeps!!:p:p
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          • Profile picture of the author Caleb Spilchen
            Originally Posted by Andie View Post

            Chickens don't have fingers, silly peeps!!:p:p
            I was pretty sure you were chickening out of a fight... and you have fingers

            Cale
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            Canadian Expat Living in Medellin, Colombia

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            • Profile picture of the author Andie
              Originally Posted by Caleb Spilchen View Post

              I was pretty sure you were chickening out of a fight... and you have fingers

              Cale

              Cale?
              new nickname? okie dokie!

              I only fight with guys that put a ring on my finger
              and since I'm done with that notion, I pretty much get along with everyone I'm not related to!

              Andie
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    • Profile picture of the author Lloyd Buchinski
      I guess it doesn't pay to ask a leading question in a topic title

      A few posts in this thread remind me of a pair of quotes, especially important to me.

      "I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved. I am not sure that you are of the same mind. But the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave. This is the world of light and speech, and I shall take leave to tell you that you are very dear." George Eliot

      "Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." David Grayson

      I did a (static page) blog post about them at 2quotes but the quotes by themselves are the main thing.

      And about bad hair days,

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  • Profile picture of the author thaascrubs
    You are right sometimes we are so much used to of someone that we hardly can substitute now you just have to instruct others they may cutt better then her try them man
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  • Profile picture of the author Caleb Spilchen
    That's cause this was your last man

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    Canadian Expat Living in Medellin, Colombia

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    • Profile picture of the author medi50cus
      you're not weird for me. maybe you have developed a good attachment with your hairdresser that's why you are reacting that way but it's normal. Just present the picture of your hair to the hairdresser the next time you cut your hair if you're worrying that much.
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  • Profile picture of the author Epicurus
    This sounds really terrible but I once had a girlfrend who made a great job of my hair and when we split up one of my biggest concerns was how would I ever find anyone to make as good a job of my hair as she did ;-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Brucew0617
    No, you are not, most people will get the same situation.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pauline60
    I only get my hair cut once a year but I have been going to the same guy for about 18 years. If he died I would be very upset cos he cuts my hair well and I really like him. He makes me feel better about myself so I would miss him.
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