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Hurricane season starts tonight

by Thomas Wilkinson
14 replies
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What have you done to prepare. I have my emergency supplies in a closet, generator is ready, whole office is on battery backups and I have an escape plan if one takes an aim at us. Hurricanes aren't like a tornado, usually there is a couple of days to get ready. On the other hand, they cover hugely more area. Gulf is very very warm this year.
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    I just re-read my disaster preparedness instructions - here they are if you think they might work for you.


    We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points:

    (1) There is no need to panic.
    (2) We could all be killed.

    Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be on the Gulf Coast. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one.''

    Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

    STEP 1. Buy food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
    STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
    STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

    Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in on the coast.

    We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

    HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance.

    Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:

    (1) It is reasonably well-built, and
    (2) It is located in Nebraska.

    Unfortunately, if your home is located on the Gulf Coast or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.

    So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.

    This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

    SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

    Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

    Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

    Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house.The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

    "Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so.He lives in Nebraska.

    Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.; you should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

    EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out.(To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Mississippi" you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

    HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Mississippi tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.

    In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:
    • 23 flashlights. At least $157 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
    • Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some!)
    • A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant. It is HOT here.
    • A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
    • A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Katrina; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
    • $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

    Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.
    Good luck and remember: it's great living in paradise!
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Originally Posted by Thomas Wilkinson View Post

    What have you done to prepare. I have my emergency supplies in a closet, generator is ready, whole office is on battery backups and I have an escape plan if one takes an aim at us. Hurricanes aren't like a tornado, usually there is a couple of days to get ready. On the other hand, they cover hugely more area. Gulf is very very warm this year.
    Last year was actually another big year for hurricanes....Luckily, they didn't hit land in big numbers and stayed at sea.

    Let's hope we're lucky again this year...But when dealing with Mother Nature, luck isn't always the best thing to depend upon.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sunfyre7896
    I got a telescope so I can see the hurricane coming from up here in DFW. I also have a prayer ready in case a cat 3 comes up this far.
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    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      So how long does this season last and how severe are they?

      Dan
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      • Profile picture of the author QuickSurf
        Born and raised in South FL... used to hurricanes lol. Going to be moving to Lauderdale on the water in a few months. Worst case, I'll hit up my mothers home in Boca. After the 05' season and going weeks without power, got smart and had generator system installed that powers her whole house, water, electricity etc.
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        • Profile picture of the author MerlynSanchez
          The 2005 season was a bitch. We were without power or internet for 2 weeks which was unexpected because we didn't get a lot of damage. However, transformers were knocked out and electric poles were down all over the place.


          Originally Posted by QuickSurf View Post

          Born and raised in South FL... used to hurricanes lol. Going to be moving to Lauderdale on the water in a few months. Worst case, I'll hit up my mothers home in Boca. After the 05' season and going weeks without power, got smart and had generator system installed that powers her whole house, water, electricity etc.
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas Wilkinson
    The season lasts until the 30th of November with the worst of it being between August 15th and September 30th. They are rated 1 through 5 with 5 being the worst. Category 1 starts with sustained winds of 74 mph. 1s and 2s are just mostly winds and rain, localized damage. A 5 can wipe out a state like Katrina, Rita and Wilma did in 2005. Global climate change is probably responsible for a higher than usual number of severe storms in the last few years.

    Thomas
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  • Profile picture of the author reverseengineering
    I'm out in California so I have no idea what you guys have to go through!!!! But to be honest I think I would rather take my chances with the earth moving than a hurricane. What do you think? I think tornados are the worst because they happen a lot and are unexpected.....
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Yeah I think I'd rather deal with hurricanes than any other, too. As far as storms go, having an advance notice is a real luxury. True that the destruction can still be costly and heartbreaking, but not as bad as wondering which pile of rubble your loved ones are lying under or where they were swept off to.
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    Sal
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    • Profile picture of the author QuickSurf
      I'd rather deal with hurricanes much more than earthquakes and crazy ass wild fires in Cali.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Hurricanes can be massively destructive but they have one advantage over earthquakes and tornadoes - you know they are coming and have some time to get out of the way.

        I think wildfires will be bad again this summer - we're under drought warnings here and are over a dozen inches short on rainfall so far this year.

        The Gulf has warmed very quickly this spring and that's not a good sign for a calm storm season.
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        • Profile picture of the author HeySal
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          I think wildfires will be bad again this summer - we're under drought warnings here and are over a dozen inches short on rainfall so far this year.

          The Gulf has warmed very quickly this spring and that's not a good sign for a calm storm season.
          It's cold as hell here and we're having so much rain that it's unreal. I wonder if that 9 mag quake shifted us NW of where we were - this weather is worse than OR and WA west of the Cascades this time of year. Just as rainy, and quite a bit colder. I'm thinking it might be best to head south instead of going North again.
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          Sal
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  • Profile picture of the author candres79
    Lets all hope that this year is a quiet season, last year was great with no major storms at all.
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  • Profile picture of the author MerlynSanchez
    I have a generator, gas water heater and stove, flashlights, and crank up radio. Need to stock up on batteries, water, food, sandbags, dog food, kerosene, and gasoline.

    And wine, lots of wine.






    Originally Posted by Thomas Wilkinson View Post

    What have you done to prepare. I have my emergency supplies in a closet, generator is ready, whole office is on battery backups and I have an escape plan if one takes an aim at us. Hurricanes aren't like a tornado, usually there is a couple of days to get ready. On the other hand, they cover hugely more area. Gulf is very very warm this year.
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