A Handful of Chuckles
From an email from a friend...
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word after an earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
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A brunette is trying to get across a river and suddenly she spots a blonde on the other side.
She yells over to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get over to the other side?"
After a quick look around the blonde calls back, "You ARE on the other side!"
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A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a carrot stick up his nose, a pea in his left ear, and a cucumber wedged under his right eyelid.
Man: "Tell me the truth, Doc, what's the matter with me?"
Doctor: "You're not eating properly."
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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he's sitting there the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing.
Very disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the machine it starts shouting vulgarities at him.
In a panic he runs to the bar and tells the bartender what happened. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, the peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is clearly out of order!"
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A big grizzly bear walks into a bar and says, "I’d like a bourbon and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . coke."
"No problem,” said the bartender, “but why the big paws?"
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word after an earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
-------
A brunette is trying to get across a river and suddenly she spots a blonde on the other side.
She yells over to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get over to the other side?"
After a quick look around the blonde calls back, "You ARE on the other side!"
-------
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a carrot stick up his nose, a pea in his left ear, and a cucumber wedged under his right eyelid.
Man: "Tell me the truth, Doc, what's the matter with me?"
Doctor: "You're not eating properly."
-------
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he's sitting there the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing.
Very disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the machine it starts shouting vulgarities at him.
In a panic he runs to the bar and tells the bartender what happened. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, the peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is clearly out of order!"
-------
A big grizzly bear walks into a bar and says, "I’d like a bourbon and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . coke."
"No problem,” said the bartender, “but why the big paws?"
Sal
When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
Beyond the Path
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