(hilarious) Gold Digger Get Owned...

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Read this...


What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush.
I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25
year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.

I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get
married to a guy who makes at least half a
million a year. I know how that sounds, but
keep in mind that a million a year is middle
class in New York City, so I don't think I'm
overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on
this board? Any wives? Could you send me some
tips? I dated a business man who makes
average around 200 - 250. But that's where I
seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me
to central park west. I know a woman in my
yoga class who was married to an investment
banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as
pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So
what is she doing right? How do I get to her

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give
me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be
honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting
(I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish
lifestyles on the upper east side so plain?
I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types
who have nothing to offer married to
incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east
village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows
- lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much
do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang

- How you decide marriage vs. just a
girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself
out there in an honest way. Most beautiful
women are superficial; at least I'm being up
front about it. I wouldn't be searching for
these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match
them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and
keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810


Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and
have thought meaningfully about your dilemma.
I offer the following analysis of your

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify
as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make
more than $500K per year. That said here's
how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy
like me, is plain and simple a crappy
business deal. Here's why. Cutting through
all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple
trade: you bring your looks to the party and
I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's
the rub, your looks will fade and my money
will likely continue into perpetuity...in
fact, it is very likely that my income
increases but it is an absolute certainty
that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating
asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are
you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now
and will likely stay pretty hot for the next
5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade
begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a
trading position, not a buy and hold...hence
the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good
business sense to "buy you" (which is what
you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the
following. If my money were to go away, so
would you, so when your beauty fades I need
an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal
that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career
about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a
girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly
beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar
daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you
are as gorgeous as you say you are that the
$500K hasn't found you, if not only for a

By the way, you could always find a way to
make your own money and then we wouldn't need
to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going
about it the right way.

Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to
enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
  • Profile picture of the author Thomas

    (I think I know her... and him too.)
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  • Profile picture of the author nicolenattan
    This is absolutely true, you're just looking for money and not all in this world matters for money alone, especially when marriage, dating and love are all part of your demand. I just hope you could use intelligence if you have or let your asset be in good terms. Therefore, you won't get hurt.

    You sounded so frank and practical but the thing is you need to use your mind rather than your beauty, knowing business man used most of their mind, skills and understanding, that's why they're on the good position. They even know better than you think.
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  • Profile picture of the author mongsky
    she had some upfront honest questions
    and he gave her an in-your-face answer.
    i'm a guy and i would answer her the same way
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  • Profile picture of the author albertosm
    there are lots of them in this world
    sadly a lot of guys who fall for them in this world also.
    but guys seriously, there's always a pre-nuptial agreement
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