The Empty Nest Syndrome

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Last Saturday, my one and only child, my son - moved out. He'll be 20 in January and so it's quite normal to move out at that age, but I'm having a bit of a hard time. I was mostly a single mom, you see, and my son and I share a special bond. I miss him terribly. I miss the "Good Morning, Mom, and the "Good night, Mom"... simple things - small things that are very special to me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy he moved away to the big city where he has far more opportunities. And he's not alone - he's sharing a place with some buddies and he really has a good head on his shoulders, so there's no doubt in my mind that he'll do fine.

It's just a Mom thing. I think every Mom goes through the agony of letting go of her children and worrying about them when they aren't home.

I know in time, I'll adjust. But right now, I've got the "empty nest blues".
  • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
    Nope, not every Mom. I didn't have any empty nest blues when mine moved out. Now we have 3 teenage nieces to finish raising and I really MISS my empty nest.

    I love my kids and I care about the nieces, but I've had children in the house since I was 19. I'm ready to live my adult life now.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I've never had kids - but I miss it when I don't have a dog around.

    If you don't like living alone, that won't make things easier for you. My mom had my dad around when my sister and I left so she had all the company she needed and having us out of her hair was pure ecstasy for her because she got to recapture some intimacy with my father that she had missed having kids around.

    As far as I can see it - if you hate being alone, you have two choices....find a guy or get a dog. Choose carefully .
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post


      As far as I can see it - if you hate being alone, you have two choices....find a guy or get a dog. Choose carefully .
      lol...let's see...both require care and sacrifice...but one loves you unconditionally, and the other, not so much.

      makes choosing a bit simpler...except, I want a pet that is really low maintenance...perhaps a goldfish...lol
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

        lol...let's see...both require care and sacrifice...but one loves you unconditionally, and the other, not so much.

        makes choosing a bit simpler...except, I want a pet that is really low maintenance...perhaps a goldfish...lol
        Goldfish are wet and cold when you try to snuggle with them. Maybe a stuffed animal instead?

        I'm a dog person, but we have a cat too. Cats are pretty low maintenance and occasionally affectionate. Might be something to consider.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Happens to Dads too Karen, I understand. I think it does depend on your personality type. I know people who cant wait for their kids to leave...lol Im one of your kind myself.

    I'd love for my daughter to get married and move her whole family in forever.
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    I think it might also depend on when you have your kids.
    My current wife had her first when she was 19 or 20. I had my first when I was 28.
    At 28 I had already experienced life with roommates and alone as an adult.
    A woman at 19 or 20 has never really lived an adult life alone. They go from living with mom and dad to being married and living with husband and the child.
    My wife has always had a terrible case of empty nest syndrome since the last daughter moved out and she can't understand how I am fine either way,with someone around or being by myself.
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  • Profile picture of the author DianaHeuser
    Karen,

    My eldest daughter is just finishing off high school. Next year she goes off to Varsity and I am dreading it. My baby is all grown up and I am not ready for it.

    Just sometimes I wish I could freeze time

    Di
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  • Profile picture of the author lyricaldeb
    Karen,

    I felt the same way when my son went in the Navy.But all is well and now I have a grandson to spend a lot of time with.
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  • Profile picture of the author vivi62
    I have 3,two of them have there own homes and my third travels a lot as an actress and model but I am satisfied that I have taught them well and made them independent so I dont get the empty nest syndrome,I had my first child at 17 and also did not have a young adult life but all my children are in late 20s early 30s so they did not make the same life for themselves as I did ,but all created the sort of life they wanted,I have an amazing husband and love all the time we spend as a couple so I think in my case I have the best of all worlds.
    Best wishes
    vivi62
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      When the first one left I was OK - when the second left I felt lost for a while. It's like an end of an era and you want to celebrate for them - but you do miss having them there.
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  • Profile picture of the author LorrieJean
    Mine is still at home but, I barely see him and I do miss him terribly when he's not around. I love him and I think it's to be expected to miss those your love when you don't see or talk to them much, especially if your spoiled by seeing them all the time.

    My Tip: I channel that energy into my business
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  • Profile picture of the author RyanLB
    I'm 23 now, but when I moved out at 20 I found that my relationship with my mom improved. It was actually just fine before that, but being able to eliminate any small bickering between us made us really happy to see one another when we did.
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  • Profile picture of the author lisakynan
    Aw so glad my darling is only 2. I am hoping he will just decide to stay with mummy forever, I would miss him so much
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      thanks to everyone who responded to this thread. It's been a week now since he left and my son and I are in touch via texts mostly. He seems to be doing just fine and I'm adjusting.

      I'm actually in a better place now and channeling my energy elsewhere, focusing on me for the first time in almost 20 years.

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      • Profile picture of the author Martin Luxton
        Karen,

        It's not just the empty nest syndrome - it's the worry leading up to it.

        Our son is 6 and my wife is already thinking about it.

        But I quickly put her mind at rest "Don't worry, I'm sure by the time he gets called up to the army they'll let mothers come along, too."

        (we have conscription here in Turkey)

        Martin
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