The Empty Nest Syndrome

by Karen Blundell

Posted: 11 years ago 15 replies

OFF TOPIC

Last Saturday, my one and only child, my son - moved out. He'll be 20 in January and so it's quite normal to move out at that age, but I'm having a bit of a hard time. I was mostly a single mom, you see, and my son and I share a special bond. I miss him terribly. I miss the "Good Morning, Mom, and the "Good night, Mom"... simple things - small things that are very special to me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy he moved away to the big city where he has far more opportunities. And he's not alone - he's sharing a place with some buddies and he really has a good head on his shoulders, so there's no doubt in my mind that he'll do fine.

It's just a Mom thing. I think every Mom goes through the agony of letting go of her children and worrying about them when they aren't home.

I know in time, I'll adjust. But right now, I've got the "empty nest blues".

Tina Golden 11 years ago

Nope, not every Mom. I didn't have any empty nest blues when mine moved out. Now we have 3 teenage nieces to finish raising and I really MISS my empty nest.

I love my kids and I care about the nieces, but I've had children in the house since I was 19. I'm ready to live my adult life now.
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HeySal

11 years ago

I've never had kids - but I miss it when I don't have a dog around.

If you don't like living alone, that won't make things easier for you. My mom had my dad around when my sister and I left so she had all the company she needed and having us out of her hair was pure ecstasy for her because she got to recapture some intimacy with my father that she had missed having kids around.

As far as I can see it - if you hate being alone, you have two choices....find a guy or get a dog. Choose carefully

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Karen Blundell

11 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

As far as I can see it - if you hate being alone, you have two choices....find a guy or get a dog. Choose carefully

lol...let's see...both require care and sacrifice...but one loves you unconditionally, and the other, not so much.

makes choosing a bit simpler...except, I want a pet that is really low maintenance...perhaps a goldfish...lol

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Dennis Gaskill

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Karen Blundell

Goldfish are wet and cold when you try to snuggle with them. Maybe a stuffed animal instead?

I'm a dog person, but we have a cat too. Cats are pretty low maintenance and occasionally affectionate. Might be something to consider.

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John Durham 11 years ago

Happens to Dads too Karen, I understand. I think it does depend on your personality type. I know people who cant wait for their kids to leave...lol Im one of your kind myself.

I'd love for my daughter to get married and move her whole family in forever.
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KimW 11 years ago

I think it might also depend on when you have your kids.
My current wife had her first when she was 19 or 20. I had my first when I was 28.
At 28 I had already experienced life with roommates and alone as an adult.
A woman at 19 or 20 has never really lived an adult life alone. They go from living with mom and dad to being married and living with husband and the child.
My wife has always had a terrible case of empty nest syndrome since the last daughter moved out and she can't understand how I am fine either way,with someone around or being by myself.
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DianaHeuser 11 years ago

Karen,

My eldest daughter is just finishing off high school. Next year she goes off to Varsity and I am dreading it. My baby is all grown up and I am not ready for it.

Just sometimes I wish I could freeze time

Di
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lyricaldeb 11 years ago

Karen,

I felt the same way when my son went in the Navy.But all is well and now I have a grandson to spend a lot of time with.
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vivi62 11 years ago

I have 3,two of them have there own homes and my third travels a lot as an actress and model but I am satisfied that I have taught them well and made them independent so I dont get the empty nest syndrome,I had my first child at 17 and also did not have a young adult life but all my children are in late 20s early 30s so they did not make the same life for themselves as I did ,but all created the sort of life they wanted,I have an amazing husband and love all the time we spend as a couple so I think in my case I have the best of all worlds.
Best wishes
vivi62
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- Kay King 11 years ago
  
  When the first one left I was OK - when the second left I felt lost for a while. It's like an end of an era and you want to celebrate for them - but you do miss having them there.
  
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LorrieJean 11 years ago

Mine is still at home but, I barely see him and I do miss him terribly when he's not around. I love him and I think it's to be expected to miss those your love when you don't see or talk to them much, especially if your spoiled by seeing them all the time.

My Tip: I channel that energy into my business
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RyanLB 11 years ago

I'm 23 now, but when I moved out at 20 I found that my relationship with my mom improved. It was actually just fine before that, but being able to eliminate any small bickering between us made us really happy to see one another when we did.
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lisakynan 11 years ago

Aw so glad my darling is only 2. I am hoping he will just decide to stay with mummy forever, I would miss him so much
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- Karen Blundell 11 years ago
  
  thanks to everyone who responded to this thread. It's been a week now since he left and my son and I are in touch via texts mostly. He seems to be doing just fine and I'm adjusting.
  
  I'm actually in a better place now and channeling my energy elsewhere, focusing on me for the first time in almost 20 years.
  
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  Martin Luxton 11 years ago
  
  Karen,
  
  It's not just the empty nest syndrome - it's the worry leading up to it.
  
  Our son is 6 and my wife is already thinking about it.
  
  But I quickly put her mind at rest "Don't worry, I'm sure by the time he gets called up to the army they'll let mothers come along, too."
  
  (we have conscription here in Turkey)
  
  Martin
  
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The Empty Nest Syndrome

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