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Chores not getting done??

by KEKilpatrick
12 replies
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Threaten your kids... "if the chores don't start getting done we're going to hire a cleaning lady and pay her with YOUR allowance!"

Worked great for about a month... now we're to the point of "interviewing" friends that our kids don't know while our kids are home just to refresh their short little memories.

Next step is to hire someone.
  • Profile picture of the author Lucian Lada
    I've read somewhere about this: you won't get much out of threatening them, and even if it works, it's out of fear which is never good. I've heard that it's good to show them why to clean their room, to be their friend so they'll do it out of respect, but then again, I'm not a parent nor an expert in this field.

    Good luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author Becky Rogers
      Originally Posted by Lucian Lada View Post

      I've read somewhere about this: you won't get much out of threatening them, and even if it works, it's out of fear which is never good. I've heard that it's good to show them why to clean their room, to be their friend so they'll do it out of respect, but then again, I'm not a parent nor an expert in this field.

      Good luck.
      "Being their friend" so to speak can be a good thing and bad thing all at once. Being a parent, and getting respect without threatening is a fine line to walk. Somehow they have to know that good things come to them by giving good things in return. It's the part of figuring it all out that is the trick. I personally don't believe in allowances, but that's just my parenting ways.
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    • Profile picture of the author KEKilpatrick
      Originally Posted by Lucian Lada View Post

      I've read somewhere about this: you won't get much out of threatening them, and even if it works, it's out of fear which is never good. I've heard that it's good to show them why to clean their room, to be their friend so they'll do it out of respect, but then again, I'm not a parent nor an expert in this field.

      Good luck.
      My kids have friends and they have parents, make no mistake, they are mutually exclusive.

      They walk a straight line out of respect first and fear second: drinking, drugs, sex, bullying, stealing... are not options because they are wrong and the kids know this. Knowing that, as a parent, simply trusting in that would be foolish so they also know that any and all will result in the kind of Hell that even the best Hollywood special effects wouldn't do justice.

      Getting them to pick up after themselves is a different story.
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      • Profile picture of the author ThomM
        Once you make the threat you have to follow through with the action (like you figured out).
        When I was still married with all the kids home I had a similar problem.
        We had a good size laundry room and the kids would take their clothes out of the dryer and throw them in a big pile, use to drive me crazy.
        So one day I told them if they didn't pick up all their clean clothes and put them in their rooms I'd throw all the clothes out.
        They didn't, so that night I put all their clothes in garbage bags and hid them in the cellar. Needless to say the next morning there was chaos in the house I looked at them all and calmly said, "what did I say yesterday?". Lesson learned
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        • Profile picture of the author KEKilpatrick
          Amen brother Thom... I've got a pay as you go thing going on with the kids. If they leave stuff, clothes, etc laying around and I get tired of it whatever is there becomes mine and they can pay a buck to get it back... sometimes it takes them a little while to miss it but when they do they get to donate to the family vacation fund.

          What's hard is getting them to take the initiative to do what needs done without telling them to do it. Even assigned chores get blown off way too many times. This is where HeySal's idea sparks my interest.

          They know that if they blow off chores we will dock their allowance accordingly. That stings but not nearly as bad as seeing their friends get paid money that could have gone to them if they had done the chores that they were assigned. Way more motivating than seeing that money go to a cleaning lady...
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          • Profile picture of the author ThomM
            Originally Posted by KEKilpatrick View Post

            Amen brother Thom... I've got a pay as you go thing going on with the kids. If they leave stuff, clothes, etc laying around and I get tired of it whatever is there becomes mine and they can pay a buck to get it back... sometimes it takes them a little while to miss it but when they do they get to donate to the family vacation fund.

            What's hard is getting them to take the initiative to do what needs done without telling them to do it. Even assigned chores get blown off way too many times. This is where HeySal's idea sparks my interest.

            They know that if they blow off chores we will dock their allowance accordingly. That stings but not nearly as bad as seeing their friends get paid money that could have gone to them if they had done the chores that they were assigned. Way more motivating than seeing that money go to a cleaning lady...
            I thought Sal's idea was great myself. In fact I wish I had thought of that when the kids where still home
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            Getting old ain't for sissy's
            As you are I was, as I am you will be
            You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.

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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    smile but carry a big stick

    you do not learn child care from a book
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  • Profile picture of the author jakebvs85
    Threatening your children is not good but sometimes they provoke you to do so. But of course you have to be more patient cause they will just get mad at you and there will be a gap between your relationship.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Pay your kids best friend to clean their room - you'll never have to bug them about it again.
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    • Profile picture of the author KEKilpatrick
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Pay your kids best friend to clean their room - you'll never have to bug them about it again.
      YOU Sal are a GENIUS!!!

      Hadn't even thought about going that route. I think tonight during our wood stacking party, I'll ask them and see if they think any of their friends want to make some extra money. I can't wait to see the looks when I tell them why I want to know.
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by KEKilpatrick View Post

        YOU Sal are a GENIUS!!!

        Hadn't even thought about going that route. I think tonight during our wood stacking party, I'll ask them and see if they think any of their friends want to make some extra money. I can't wait to see the looks when I tell them why I want to know.
        Yes KE. Yes, I am. Was it the drool on my keyboard that hid the fact before? :rolleyes:
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        • Profile picture of the author AprilCT
          Don't try this around Christmas. The messy room makes a great place to hide gifts. Just ask my oldest son. He was so angry with me and I couldn't stop laughing.
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