Life Changes in an Instant

25 replies
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Hello everyone.

I haven't been around here in a while.

My brother was killed in a plane crash. Last Saturday. I think it was last Saturday, still having problems with realizing what day it is.

I can't concentrate on much of anything. My attention span lasts about 1-2 hours for writing, a little longer if it's techie web stuff.

He was too young to die and it has devastated our family. My bro was married to his high school sweetie for over 30 years.

I miss him terribly. We were really close. It's like a part of me is gone. Forever.

I deny it most of the time because I don't want to accept that it's real. But I know it's real. And it really sucks.

It's a wake up call for me. A notice that I don't have forever to do what I want to do.

I will not for granted that I'm lucky my husband walks through the door every night. A kid who comes home from school. A family.

I guess I just wanted to say that your life can change in an instant and the people in your lives right now could be gone tomorrow.

Life's too short to hold a grudge. To sweat the small stuff. To squander time away as if there is an eternity here on Earth.

  • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
    True words. Bless you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Lori -

    I'm so sorry - give yourself time. Losing a family member is always difficult but when they are young and close and it's a sudden accident, it's shock mixed with grief and disbelief.

    You're right about grudges - we can't depend on having a tomorrow or even a "this afternoon".

    Take care of you.

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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    My heart goes out to you and your family.

    Live every day to the fullest.
    Make sure you tell everyone you love how much they mean to you.
    You never know when you say goodbye to someone if that is the last time you will ever see them.

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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Oh Lori!

      Hon, I'm so sorry to hear of this tragic news.

      I know from past experience that there really is nothing that I can say or do to make you feel better right now.

      However, you and your family are in my prayers.

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  • Profile picture of the author Lori Kelly

    It's been very difficult.

    He died doing something he loved more than anything (other than his wife).

    He always wanted to fly. He just bought his own plane. Was taking lessons.

    He was a good man. Lived life every day for the day, never fretted over yesterday nor worried about tomorrow.

    Sure makes you put life into a different perspective.

    I guess like most people who are mourning the loss of a loved one, we run the gamut of emotions. Sad, mad, happy, grateful, mad, and sad again.

    My heart breaks for his wife. They were the happiest people I know. That's what we talk about, the happy times. I tell my sister in law that she was incredibly lucky to have a man whom she adored. Loved. Respected. Her best friend. There are some people who will never find they had. I said have at first. Hard to use past tense.

    And he died doing something he wanted to do ever since he was a kid. I know my brother. And I know that he would rather die flying than die a slow and painful death. Kinda morbid. But we don't have a choice, do we? When it's our time to go, it's our time.

    There's not much that can make it better. But the fact that he did live life every day like it was his last day has certainly got me thinking about how I am going to start enjoying my life a lot more.

    Thanks again for your kind words.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I am so sorry to hear this Lori. As Terra said - there's not much that can be said right now to take away the pain or shock but hope but I hope knowing we care will be a comfort.

    One day the memories that now bring tears and grief will bring a warm smile of comfort and peace. I hope that day comes soon for you.

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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    I'm sorry for your loss, Lori. My heart goes out to you and your family. May you be comforted by the love you shared.

    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author waterotter
    Lori, I'm so sorry for your loss.

    "The heart remembers most what it has loved best. May memories comfort you and bring you peace."

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this most difficult time.
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  • Profile picture of the author salegurus
    My condolences to you and your family...
    Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

    ― George Carlin
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      There are no words at a time like this. None. And the older I get, the harder it
      is for me to hear such heartbreak, even from people I barely know because I
      understand just how horrible it is.

      I can only hope that time will make it bearable for you.

      Yes, it does suck.

      Sometimes that's what life does. It just sucks.

      My prayers are with you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    I'm admittedly not good at comforting people: but I just want to say that I'm sorry for you, and the pain does lessen over time. Depending on what you believe in, your brother is in heaven or whatever happy place you believe in.
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  • Profile picture of the author SShip
    So sorry to hear about your loss.

    My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Hi Lori,

    Not much I can say at a time like this except I am sorry and to remember the blessings - that you had a wonderful brother and he had you - that his wife had a wonderful husband and he had her.

    Nobody and nothing can ever take that away.

    It still sounds hollow like everything else right now but it will get better.

    God bless you and your family and keep the rest of you around for a long time.
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  • Profile picture of the author Laura B
    I'm so sorry, Lori.
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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    Wow... my problems seem so petty when I hear a story like this. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing it with us... I will hug my wife and kids a little longer tonight. I'll also pray that your grief is short and your cherished memories remain vivid.
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  • Profile picture of the author SteveJohnson
    Sometimes it helps knowing that others have felt the same pain that you are feeling, that you are not alone in your grief. You are not alone. I, and others here, have felt it also. My heart is with you.

    The 2nd Amendment, 1789 - The Original Homeland Security.

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  • Profile picture of the author whland
    Godspeed. I lost a cousin in an atv accident when he was 15. He would have been 20 years old now.

    I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Remember Lori, no one who was loved while here ever really dies because they'll always live on in the hearts of those who remember them. Prayers to you and yours...
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Yeah, you can't even be sure about the next second. When I heard what happened with me, and how it was done, I SERIOUSLY doubted I would live a year! Here I am about 8 years later, and I STILL wonder when it is going to pop.

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  • Profile picture of the author Lloyd Buchinski
    I had something like that happen to my closest relative, a kid sister 17 years younger than me.

    There is still an appreciation for her beautiful life, our time together, and something very practical she did that still benefits me. The memories and appreciation by themselves are so nice to have.

    Whenever I remember, or I'm reminded by a topic like this, there is such a nice feeling of 'thank you.'

    The person is still alive in your heart for as long as you are still alive.

    Do something spectacular; be fulfilled. Then you can be your own hero. Prem Rawat

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  • Sometimes bad things happen to good people. You will need to focus on your life. What you have lost can't be compensated. You just have to move forward and live your life.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    My condolences. I hope for the best for you and that you find solace.

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  • Profile picture of the author Jacqueline Smith
    Oh Lori, I am so sorry to hear about your brother.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.
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  • Profile picture of the author GrantFreeman
    So sorry to hear about your Brother. Sending many warm thoughts your way

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