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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    He doesn't deserve to be forgiven in any way but from life on this earth prior to entering eternal damnation in Hell.

    If he breaks into tears it is because, like most criminal psychopaths, he is only capable of of self-pity, not empathy and compassion for others.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Yep - if ya kill the ******* you don't need to forgive him, then you can use your emotions on someone worthy of them. It's really like banging your head into bricks over and over again to forgive a psychotic - a sociopath it's like driving a car into your head. They don't think or feel the way most people do and your emotions are only something for them to use for their own means. Don't waste your time or feelings on a psychopath.
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    Sal
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    • Profile picture of the author Brian John
      i'm a very forgiving person, but for someone who's confessed to some 71 murders (of a presumed 90+) there's no forgiveness in my heart
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  • Profile picture of the author SShip
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    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      Forgiveness in murder is pretty stupid.

      The only person who can really forgive is the victim and they are dead.

      So in that clip the father of Linda Rule forgives the guy. But does Linda Rule?

      Dan
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      • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
        Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

        Forgiveness in murder is pretty stupid.
        Perhaps the logic of forgiveness in such an extreme case is to realize that the suffering of the loss of a loved one is more than enough of a burden without having to carry an ongoing hate and desire for revenge, which also just perpetuates the very same negative traits of the murderer himself?

        In that context the person who forgives is doing themselves a much greater justice since the murderer is not left in a comfort zone that suggests; if everyone carries such hate, then his own hate is justified and thus lessening the perceived severity of his crime.

        That's a total reverse hypothetical perspective. I'm sure many people will assume the act of forgiveness will increase crime rates.

        I do admit that to have the demenour to put forgiveness into actual practice for such a horrific case would be another matter entirely though...



        Daniel
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        • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
          Hang on a tick Daniel

          Not to forgive does not mean that one goes around burdened with hateful or vengeful thoughts that I agree with you are not healthy.

          The vast majority of people related to murder victims just get on with their lives but with an irreplaceable hole.

          They haven't forgiven the murderer though, they don't tend to think of them.

          They just learn to live with the loss. Some cope better than others.

          Hatred is an initial emotion.

          Dan
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            If I'm not personally affected, it's not up to me to judge. However, I have a tremendous respect for Mr Rule who was able to stand by his own beliefs and forgive.

            It takes a very special person to be able to do that.
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            • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              If I'm not personally affected, it's not up to me to judge. However, I have a tremendous respect for Mr Rule who was able to stand by his own beliefs and forgive.

              It takes a very special person to be able to do that.
              Agree 100% I don't know if I could forgive in that situation, but I have a lot of respect for this man.

              You've got to do what you've got to do to get on with life and forgiveness is what this man needed to do.
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          • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
            Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

            Hang on a tick Daniel

            Not to forgive does not mean that one goes around burdened with hateful or vengeful thoughts that I agree with you are not healthy.
            I think those emotions are probably a lot more actively dominant in their subconscious than they might assume.

            The vast majority of people related to murder victims just get on with their lives but with an irreplaceable hole.
            That's a given as that's all there is to do, however the hypothesis is that forgiveness allows a person to "grieve in clarity" without additional burden to their being.


            They haven't forgiven the murderer though, they don't tend to think of them.
            I'm sure every case is quite different and to be fair, we don't know what's in a persons mind, nor does many a person know what's in their subconscious.

            Hatred is an initial emotion.
            An initial one.

            The argument might be that it shouldn't have to be a prominnent and ongoing one to conquer a terrible situation in the best way possible.



            Daniel
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    I understand forgive - it's merely a psychological and spiritual exercise. It is cleansing -- versus hatred is toxic, etc. It makes you a 'bigger' person.

    However in this case I can't understand why he is still alive. In a case like this where we have him 'dead to rights' - (confessed/tangible evidence, etc), I think there should be a federal death penalty so nobody skates because they are being 'tried' in a liberal state.

    So forgive him, and then pull the switch. He really should not be able to take anything more including air.

    Nobody ever said that just because we have to forgive that there are not consequences for the perp. Well ok, it is not our job to judge, and makes no difference to anyone except ourselves whether we are able to 'let it go' or not.

    However, nobody ever said because we have to forgive that there should not be any justice.
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  • Profile picture of the author btchristopher
    First of all, I understand how most of you feel. I was a person who held grudges and hatred in my heart for years and refused to forgive the people who had harmed me in my life. But i recently realized it was causing me mental and emotional harm. It was like carrying a weight around. Some of the things happened 40 years ago and I was still reliving them today. In some cases those whom I had grudges against were dead! I finally realized the only thing to do was forgive, and since I have done so, I have never felt better. I promise you if you can forgive you will feel better. Also, I applaud the gentleman in the video for actually practicing what his religion preaches because so very few do this.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Who says your guts have to rot if you don't forgive someone? Accepting that someone did something is close enough. Take the stoic approach that this is the hand life dealt for you. Also take the logical approach that someone that damned dangerous is a predator and needs to be put out of it.

    It's not really "revenge" it's self defense. You CANNOT allow something that dangerous out among the people. Keeping in a cage forever is not humane - could YOU live in a cage forever? It's also not safe because if it breaks it's cage, it is very likely to kill something else. You need to kill it. It's not revenge. It's social protection, and humanely disposing of the danger. People shoot wolves just for living in the same region as their cattle and we don't consider it revenge.

    Acceptance may be necessary. I don't see that "forgiveness" is.
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    Sal
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    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
      Justice is state of law.

      Hate and revenge is a state of emotion and as identified by btchristopher, they don't rest their head (even in the event of death of the guilty) until you rest them yourself.


      Daniel
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      • Profile picture of the author btchristopher
        Originally Posted by Daniel Evans View Post

        Justice is state of law.

        Hate and revenge is a state of emotion and as identified by btchristopher, they don't rest their head (even in the event of death of the guilty) until you rest them yourself.


        Daniel
        Well said, mate.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          As a child I remember being told that you don't forgive people for their sake - it's what forgiveness does for YOU that makes a difference.

          It doesn't mean punishment isn't necessary and doesn't change what has happened - but it releases the hatred from inside you. It also takes away the power the person had over you in creating such hate and anger.

          In that clip, it was also the only thing that cracked the defendant's shell.
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          • Profile picture of the author chris porter
            Speaking from personal experience, as someone who has had a family member murdered, I personally did not feel any peace until I forgave the murderer. You cannot carry around hate in your heart, it will manifest itself in your life. Forgiveness is an act of self love.
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    • Profile picture of the author btchristopher
      Oh, by no means do I suggest the guy shouldn't be punished for the crime, that is not what I meant by forgiveness. You hear people speak of "closure"? Well I think that if you don't forgive, you can't achieve closure because you continue to relive the wrong that was done to you and when you do that you experience the negative emotions over and over again. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but when you forgive you can let go of those feelings. You don't have to like the person, or even tell them they are forgiven. It is something you do for yourself, not for the person who harmed you.
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  • Profile picture of the author art72
    While I found the statement by Mr. Rule admirable considering the loss of his daughter, I firmly believe; this was for HIS own good, not necessarily Gary Ridgeway's. Forgiving this 'psychopath' was likely essential for Mr. Rule 'personally' to free HIS own mind (and emotions) from the bondage of HIS personal loss, and accept his daughter is not coming back. In that regard, I respect his decision to face his enemy with such dignity and patience... as I am sure Mr. Rule longs for the 'official' word of Ridgeway's death to really feel any justice has been served!
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      He's not forgiving a crime - he's forgiving the person who did the crime.
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      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world will change forever for that one dog.
      It takes nothing away from a human to be kind to an animal.
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