Why Parents Drink...
A father passing by his son's bedroom was
astonished to see that his bed was nicely made
and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently
on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter:
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because
I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy
and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because
of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes
and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it' s not only the passion...
Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it
with the other people that live nearby for cocaine
and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find
a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take
care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit
so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P. S. Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are
worse things in life than the Report Card
that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
astonished to see that his bed was nicely made
and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently
on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter:
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because
I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy
and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because
of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes
and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it' s not only the passion...
Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it
with the other people that live nearby for cocaine
and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find
a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take
care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit
so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P. S. Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are
worse things in life than the Report Card
that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Sal
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