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I'm getting grumpier as I get older. I was walking downtown when a dude around 30-years-old took a big swig of his soda and set the huge paper cup in the middle of the sidewalk and kept walking.

"You weren't going to leave that right there, were you?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, I mean no," he said, walking back a few steps, reaching down to pick it up. He didn't look mentally incapacitated and appeared like he should know better.

As I walked past a bit, he called out sarcastically, "Thanks, dude!" Really? You're giving me grief because you didn't want to hold on to that giant cup 1/2 block to the next trash can?

Late night a few nights ago I was walking past Staples Center. A girl was sitting on top of a long row of steps that run parallel to the street, about 20 steps high. As I walked past, she took her fast food bag of trash and launched it in the air to the steps at the bottom.

"Pick that up right now!" I yelled, sounding amazingly like my long-dead father. She replied by taking her drink and throwing it after the bag of trash. I kept walking, yelling into the night air, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" The street was empty at that hour so I was just venting to the void.

Yesterday I was walking past a parking garage when a guy in an expensive white sports car pulled out into the sidewalk really fast without checking for pedestrians. It's a busy sidewalk downtown, and he could have easily hit someone. I've seen it a few times.

He cut right in front of me, but I saw what was happening out of the corner of my eye, so I smoothly stepped out to walk around in front of his car as he came to a stop blocking the sidewalk.

I admit what I did next was not cool. As I walked around, I pulled my phone out and pretended I got a call. I stood in front of his car totally oblivious. He leaned on the horn and I just put my index finger up like "wait a sec, almost done with this call."

Bad, right?

It sure was fun.
  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    Ignorance is timeless.

    So, apparently, is obliviocy. I stopped for a sub the other day, and this conversation occurred, exactly this way:

    Her: "Can I help you?"
    Me : "Yes, ma'am. Foot long tuna on whole wheat, please."
    Her: "6 inch or 12 inch?"
    [pause]
    Me : "I'll have the 12 inch foot long, please."
    Her: (without looking) "We're out of tuna."

    Took everything I had to not laugh out loud.


    Paul
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    Stop by Paul's Pub - my little hangout on Facebook.

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    • Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

      Ignorance is timeless.

      So, apparently, is obliviocy. I stopped for a sub the other day, and this conversation occurred, exactly this way:

      Her: "Can I help you?"
      Me : "Yes, ma'am. Foot long tuna on whole wheat, please."
      Her: "6 inch or 12 inch?"
      [pause]
      Me : "I'll have the 12 inch foot long, please."
      Her: (without looking) "We're out of tuna."

      Took everything I had to not laugh out loud.


      Paul

      I like when you call directory assistance and they are barely listening.

      "Hello, thank you for calling Big Phone Company, how can I help you?"

      "I'd like the number for Dolores Fakename in Walla Walla, Washington."

      "Yes, I'll be glad to help you with that. And the name of the person?"

      "Dolores Fakename."

      "And what city are you searching for today."

      "Walla Walla, Washington."
      Signature
      Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
      - Jack Trout
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

      Ignorance is timeless.

      So, apparently, is obliviocy. I stopped for a sub the other day, and this conversation occurred, exactly this way:

      Her: "Can I help you?"
      Me : "Yes, ma'am. Foot long tuna on whole wheat, please."
      Her: "6 inch or 12 inch?"
      [pause]
      Me : "I'll have the 12 inch foot long, please."
      Her: (without looking) "We're out of tuna."

      Took everything I had to not laugh out loud.


      Paul
      Well HEY! Did you REALLY expect her to know a foot was 12"? Is there maybe a troy foot? BTW so there isn't any misunderstanding, there IS a troy ounce and pound, and imperial versus US measurements.

      Of course the "we're all out" after qualifying part of the order is surprisingly common.

      Steve
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