by lcombs
79 replies
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I broached this subject once before.
But, this time, there are are no more questions.
I'm done.
I've reached the end.
I have no more rope.
I can no longer shrug off, rectify, or accept the wrong turns I've made in my life.
I have zigged when I should have zagged at every turn in my life.
Clinging to sanity by a thread is no longer an option.
I'm letting go.
Where I will land I have no idea.
  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Everyone makes mistakes. Are you OK?
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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    • Profile picture of the author Midnight Oil
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      I'm letting go.
      Of what? Your post is troubling.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    News Flash: We're all clinging to our sanity. Getting sick of it is like getting sick of waiting for cars to be out of the way or the light to turn green before crossing the street. Anyway, why not embrace the 'ziggeds' of your life?
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    Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    I think, or at least hope, that you will find your way no matter which way you decide. You are right ... clinging to sanity by a thread is not an option. Do something that keeps you whole and sane. Good luck in the New Year.
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Yep, l have been clinging to sanity for quite a while, that is why l end up here, to shrug it off and have some fun!

      Watching YouTube P**p videos late at night for a good laugh helps!

      As well as plenty of chocolate. He, he!


      The last year, has been the worst for me, and 2014 is shaping up to be the best year of my life!


      Eventhough some skeptics will disagree, the universe pulls the strings, or try as hard as you can to bring about a desired outcome and it won't happen until it is supposed to happen.

      Or things always get as bad as they can before a major breakthrough is allowed to take place.

      Trust me on this one, l have been at the right place at the right time so often, but only after things reached their worst.

      And if you read autobiographies, of the most successful people this pattern of great failure, or disappointing failure or process, always precedes great success and achievement!


      Is is ok, to get P***** about how long it all takes, and bend the rules more than normal, l tend to push the rule book a little this year, (in some areas of my life).

      But giving up is getting off a path of events that ultimately results in your success. Or reach 99 to 100% compency and the money flows faster than it ever has!

      Don't believe me read up on that one as well!


      I have to admit l have failed for so long, l have trouble believing in that one, but l am starting to see tantalizing results that support that rule.


      Go to the pub, buy an entire nasty chocolate cake, go to the beach, etc to get a break from it, but don't give up!

      Hope that l have helped!


      Shane
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    It may not sink in right now but there is ALWAYS more hope and more rope than we think there is.

    Today is a new start. There is nothing that can be done about yesterday. But we can change today and in the process change the future.

    Let go of the guilt, the wrong turns, the mistakes, and the hurts from the past. But don't let go of your future.

    Mark

    Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

    I broached this subject once before.
    But, this time, there are are no more questions.
    I'm done.
    I've reached the end.
    I have no more rope.
    I can no longer shrug off, rectify, or accept the wrong turns I've made in my life.
    I have zigged when I should have zagged at every turn in my life.
    Clinging to sanity by a thread is no longer an option.
    I'm letting go.
    Where I will land I have no idea.
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  • Profile picture of the author Magicalidea
    What's the problem here ?
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

    I broached this subject once before.
    But, this time, there are are no more questions.
    I'm done.
    I've reached the end.
    I have no more rope.
    I can no longer shrug off, rectify, or accept the wrong turns I've made in my life.
    I have zigged when I should have zagged at every turn in my life.
    Clinging to sanity by a thread is no longer an option.
    I'm letting go.
    Where I will land I have no idea.

    You need to tell us now, that you are OK.
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      sometimes when you let go and don't try to force things to happen things work out better - maybe that's what the OP meant -
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    I've been through a lot of “challenges” in my lifetime and I've felt completely hopeless before. (Been suicidal several times.)

    Something that I hope will be comforting is knowing that in time everything will get better.

    When you're in the thick of it, it seems like your situation will never improve. In my experience it always does. My favourite quotation that I've mentioned before is from “Think And Grow Rich” (Napoleon Hill).“Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”

    That's one of the real “secrets” of life. You may not be able to see an equal or greater benefit at the moment (like I couldn't) however there definitely will be one.

    “Whenever I see sunbeams coming through clouds, it always looks to me like God shining himself down onto us ... The thing about sunbeams is they're always there even though we can't always see them. Same with God.”—Terri Guillemets

    Good luck. I hope 2014 brings your more success and happiness. Remember, things will get better.
    : )
    Signature
    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
    Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

    I broached this subject once before.
    But, this time, there are are no more questions.
    I'm done.
    I've reached the end.
    I have no more rope.
    I can no longer shrug off, rectify, or accept the wrong turns I've made in my life.
    I have zigged when I should have zagged at every turn in my life.
    Clinging to sanity by a thread is no longer an option.
    I'm letting go.
    Where I will land I have no idea.
    I wish you every good thing that you have ever desired, from this point forward, Larry!

    Oh, and letting go can be a good thing, because holding on too tightly can be hazardous to health sometimes.

    I learned that a long time ago when I was a little girl catching all of the baby frogs migrating through our yard. I held on to them tightly so they wouldn't get away. Then I put them down on the sidewalk in order to see them jump better, except, well, they never jumped again because I had held on to them too tightly.

    Did my attempt to make you laugh or at least smile, work?

    Oh, true story by the way, lol!


    Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Peak Curiosity
    Seek Jesus and HE will solve all of your problems, nothing else will. God Bless.
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  • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
    I know the feeling.

    "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."

    "Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside -- remembering all the times you've felt that way."

    "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence."

    ― Charles Bukowski



    Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

    I broached this subject once before.
    But, this time, there are are no more questions.
    I'm done.
    I've reached the end.
    I have no more rope.
    I can no longer shrug off, rectify, or accept the wrong turns I've made in my life.
    I have zigged when I should have zagged at every turn in my life.
    Clinging to sanity by a thread is no longer an option.
    I'm letting go.
    Where I will land I have no idea.
    Signature
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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    I'm praying you're just having the new-years blues caused by drinking an excessive amount of beverages. - And you'll wake up later with a head-ache and a renewed since of worth and ambition.

    Side note - this thread is one of the main reasons I love the Warrior Forum. We may have fun and heated disagreements, but we all seem to come together to lift any fellow warrior we think might need it. You warriors are good people.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    lcombs, I'm sure anyone on this thread and many others on the forum will take the time to talk with you if you need it. Nothing embarassing about it at all. Just send a PM over.
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Lcombs,

    I hope you mean something akin to "let go and let God"
    (or the universe or nature's way...)

    My high school best friend married a much older guy soon
    after I realized I really wanted to cross that friendship line.

    Years later we got back in touch and sadly it turned out that she knew
    she made a mistake right after they married. Turns out his appearance of
    success was a sham and he was never a success.

    He was always caught up in trying to prove what he never had to prove
    to anyone. He thought that 'making it big' in insurance and consulting
    would prove 'em all wrong.

    Nothing wrong with those fields, just he should have been doing
    something else with his life.

    I imagine and hope you are more on the track of finding what you should
    be doing with your life.

    Takes time to turn a boat around.

    Feel free to PM/call.

    Dan
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    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    I am worried about you, lcombs. I hope you were just conveying that you're letting go of a lot of unnecessary baggage. Your message is concerning. Say something!
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    Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
    Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

    I broached this subject once before.
    But, this time, there are are no more questions.
    I'm done.
    I've reached the end.
    I have no more rope.
    I can no longer shrug off, rectify, or accept the wrong turns I've made in my life.
    I have zigged when I should have zagged at every turn in my life.
    Clinging to sanity by a thread is no longer an option.
    I'm letting go.
    Where I will land I have no idea.


    I don't believe in gods or prayer or any of that.
    And I don't know exactly what you're going through.
    But your words resonated with me, because that
    was exactly how I felt when my wife passed away.

    Having had plenty of those terrible, dark moments
    myself since then, I have two thoughts that I
    want to share with you:

    The first is to focus on something outside of yourself.
    Something good. Get out and help build a home
    with Habitats for Humanity, or Homes for Our Troops.
    Seriously, get out and do something physical, something
    that's not about you.

    The second thing is that life is in the future, not the past.
    Even as you dwell on the present moment, it becomes the past.
    But whatever is going on, it is not your sole permanent reality.
    That may be difficult to believe right now, but the truth is the truth.
    Whatever is happening now, life will make up for it will more
    truly precious moments, if only you'll watch out for them.

    This is the first day of a new year of opportunities.



    It's the Wizard's 7th Rule:

    "Life is the future, not the past. The past can teach us, through experience, how to accomplish things in the future, comfort us with cherished memories, and provide the foundation of what has already been accomplished. But only the future holds life. To live in the past is to embrace what is dead. To live life to its fullest, each day must be created anew. As rational, thinking beings, we must use our intellect, not a blind devotion to what has come before, to make rational choices."

    --Terry Goodkind, The Pillars of Creation
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    ...A tachyon enters a bar.

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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Does anyone have Icombs' number? Someone should call to make sure he's OK.
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      • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Does anyone have Icombs' number? Someone should call to make sure he's OK.
        I don't even know his real name, or else I would have
        looked him up by now.

        Anyone know what this means? I was looking through his
        old posts but didn't see anything:

        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        I broached this subject once before.
        Signature

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        • Profile picture of the author Midnight Oil
          Does anyone know if the site linked in his signature is his? Ghoul TV. There's whois for information on that.

          Looks as if he is monitoring the thread. So that's a good sign.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          I worked today and thought of this thread several times. It bothered me.

          Stats indicate the OP was on the forum a couple hours ago - read this thread - but didn't comment or enlighten or update.
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          Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

          Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
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          • Profile picture of the author AprilCT
            Please do stop by and let us know you are okay.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    As you can see people really do care. You are a valuable human being that deserves happiness and peace. But you need to meet us in the middle and let us know what is happening.

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      I believe Terra called him Larry, so Larry I hope to the edge of the Earth that you're ok, it'd be a real relief for anyone that read your post to know you're ok so do please let us know.

      There's a lot of very good sentiment here, especially after reading Mikes post which was very moving.

      Like Jason mentioned, send me a PM and I'll send you my Skype details, I'd be more than happy to chat though I appreciate you may not want to.

      For the record I've been in some dark places before and I know at the time it seems like it'll never end. I've always been pleasantly surprised to find that it did end and there's always a lesson to learn from it.

      Good luck.
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      Wibble, bark, my old man's a mushroom etc...

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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Buying or watching some inspirational movies can help you get through this!

        • The Shawshank Redemption

        • Castaway

        Maybe • Field of Dreams, to name a few!


        Shane
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Hey Larry, it's me again...

          I can't help but worry about you because you are one of my OT friends and friends mean the world to me.

          I, um, well, I know you like music and thought I would share a song I always listen to (and sing to over and over) when I look around and things are very bleak and heavy and I can't seem to find that light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm just about done with the feelings of hopelessness or darkness or loneliness. No, it isn't rock music but it works for me and I was kind of hoping it would work for you.

          When I sing the word "you" in the song, I am singing to that dark place. Now, I'm not asking you to sing it if you don't want to, but could you at least give it a listen?

          It's called Running Away by Midnight Hour.


          Hoping to hear from you real soon!

          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
            it warms my heart to witness warriors showing so much caring and compassion -
            I too hope Larry is ok - I really do.
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            • Profile picture of the author Riptor
              Hope you are OK Larry, come back soon I miss your toons man!
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  • Profile picture of the author goldengater
    If you have no more rope, then you need to let one of us give you a bit more. Get back on the forum or pm one of us so that we can help.

    Jan
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  • Profile picture of the author alistair
    I don't know anything about you or your situation, except you obviously have a passion for music, even if it isn't really my bag.

    I'm no psychologist by a long way and I'm not going to jump to conclusions, but for anybody out there that may have problems and can't see a way out, whatever the problem might be, talk to somebody.

    If you're embarrassed, ashamed, scared or whatever it's no good bottling things up because gradually it'll get too much until your mind screws you over. The point is that most people do actually give a sh!t about others as you might tell from the replies above, and even strangers will go a long way to help.

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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      The point is that most people do actually give a sh!t about others as you might tell from the replies above, and even strangers will go a long way to help.
      This, all day long. People have such a wall around them you wouldn't think they do care but the fact is, the most unlikely people are often the first in to help. I've seen that video before and it's incredible to watch.

      On a slightly different point but this video is very similar. I have a tendency on my lunch breaks to watch the Russian dash cam video's mainly because it fascinates me what happens out there, most of the time I think it's a country of lunatic drivers and every driver also just happens to be a professional MMA fighter, this however show's a much lighter, nicer and altogether splendid side to them.

      It says "Russian Road Rage" at the beginning but believe me, it's nothing of the sort.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOo7z71wers#t=44
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      Wibble, bark, my old man's a mushroom etc...

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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Richard Van View Post

        It says "Russian Road Rage" at the beginning but believe me, it's nothing of the sort.

        Good people /
        Grand gestures and big moments may get the publicity, but it's the little moments of kindness like those in the video that make life bearable.
        Signature

        Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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        • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          Grand gestures and big moments may get the publicity, but it's the little moments of kindness like those in the video that make life bearable.
          Well said Dennis.

          I know it's none of my business as such but has anyone actually discovered what is wrong with Larry?

          I'm not suggesting for a moment anyone shares it I just wanted to know if he had contacted anyone here and told them/shared the issue and is getting some help.

          From what I can see, no one seems to know what is wrong but there are a ton of people here trying to help.

          If you haven't spoke to anyone here or outside of here for that matter, we'd be better company than daisies, no matter how pretty they are.
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          Wibble, bark, my old man's a mushroom etc...

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  • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
    I LOVE the People Are Awesome videos!

    Yes, do watch some, especially this one. Time well spent!
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    Happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you feeling blue. - Bobby Boucher




    Seriously, hope OPs ok.
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    Hi
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    • Profile picture of the author peterj
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Still looking down at the Daisies.
      And they are quite pretty, aren't they!?
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    • Profile picture of the author Midnight Oil
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Still looking down at the Daisies.
      That's fine. But it never hurts to look around instead of just looking down. There's more to see.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Still looking down at the Daisies.

      Glad to hear it, and thanks for letting us know! You know, when I was going through some deep darkness in the military my sister once wrote to me to tell me what gets her through the bad times, and that's simply to tell herself "This too, shall pass."

      Sounds simplistic, and it is, but you know what? It helped get me through the day...many times.
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      Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        "This too, shall pass."
        Well said Dennis.

        I was going to include that quotation in my post as well. : ) Simple, but true.
        Signature
        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Still looking down at the Daisies.
      Good. You are stronger than you think.

      Don't do that again.
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      • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        Still looking down at the Daisies.
        Better looking down on them, than pushing them up!

        Knowing only that you are into music, I have another couple of
        thoughts:

        The first is that you should avoid both The Cure and any kind of Rap "music".
        Both are quite depressing, albeit for completely different reasons.

        The second is that you should, perhaps, write a song?
        You've already got either the opening lines, or the chorus:



        "this time, there are are no more questions.
        I'm done.
        I've reached the end.
        I have no more rope.
        I can no longer shrug off, rectify, or accept the wrong turns I've made in my life.
        I have zigged when I should have zagged at every turn in my life.
        Clinging to sanity by a thread is no longer an option.
        I'm letting go.
        Where I will land I have no idea.

        (...something...something...something...)

        Still looking down at the Daisies..."
        Throw in a few more good lines that describe what's going on,
        or how you're feeling, maybe something that rhymes if it's needed,
        and there you are! A new song, born of real emotion,
        rather than the formulas that are so common these days!

        Signature

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        • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
          Originally Posted by MikeTucker View Post

          Better looking down on them, than pushing them up!

          Knowing only that you are into music, I have another couple of
          thoughts:

          The first is that you should avoid both The Cure and any kind of Rap "music".
          Both are quite depressing, albeit for completely different reasons.

          The second is that you should, perhaps, write a song?
          You've already got either the opening lines, or the chorus:





          Throw in a few more good lines that describe what's going on,
          or how you're feeling, maybe something that rhymes if it's needed,
          and there you are! A new song, born of real emotion,
          rather than the formulas that are so common these days!

          Mike, you're a genius, that may be exactly what is needed to lift his spirit!
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          • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
            Originally Posted by joseph7384 View Post

            Mike, you're a genius, that may be exactly what is needed to lift his spirit!
            Thanks Joseph, far less genius and far more experience, I would say.

            Expressing ourselves is an excellent way of dealing with the shit that
            life throws at us-- Or that we jump into ourselves.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jacqueline Smith
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Still looking down at the Daisies.
      Oh....thank goodness.

      In my former life I was a social worker and my heart skipped a beat when I read your post.

      Please, please, please know things WILL get better and you will be a stronger person for all you have been through.

      You would probably be shocked at how many people have similar feelings but don't share them. I have no doubt that your post has inspired many by making them realize they are not alone....just like you are not alone.

      I know many have offered to chat and please don't hesitate to include me amongst them......skype, phone, email....whatever works for you.
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Still looking down at the Daisies.
      I'm so glad you are ok - I can't pretend to know what is going on but I do know how it feels to be in a dark place - and trying to crawl out of it. Easy does it - don't be so hard on yourself - and lean on us sometimes, ok?
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    lcombs, you've posted a lot of positive stuff to me and I want you to know that I appreciate it and value your friendship.
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    Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    I know from painful personal experience that the dark place is no fun. People would say to me "take it a day at a time" and that was WAAAAYYY too long. So I had to resort to 10 minutes at a time. If I could just make it through the next 10 minutes there just might be hope.

    What I found is that at the end of the 10 minutes I was still alive - it was NOT the end of the world. My problems were still there of course but I had won for another 10 minutes. Then I started to string those together - one after another.

    As I started to feel better (simply because I made it through X 10 minutes) I began to deal with the root issues. I knew I couldn't change yesterday but I could change tomorrow - and I did.

    Hang in there. Don't give up. There is always hope.

    Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
    Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

    I'm letting go.
    Where I will land I have no idea.
    Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

    Still looking down at the Daisies.

    Hurray! That's wonderful news!

    A daisy patch is an awesome place to land! Now, if you need a friend to sit and make daisy chains with you, you know where to find me.

    Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    A daisy patch is a good place to wait for answers.
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    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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  • Profile picture of the author lcombs
    Sorry to create such a disturbance.
    I'm not suicidal, just crazy.
    New meds.
    Soon I shall be....

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    • Profile picture of the author David Braybrooke
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Sorry to create such a disturbance.
      I'm not suicidal, just crazy.
      New meds.
      Soon I shall be....
      Thank you for clarifying that! If you write, what sounds as though it could be some sort of suicidal note on a public forum, then 'disappear' for awhile, it will obviously create confusion and worry.

      I do wish you the best Icombs but haven't really enjoyed this thread much. May you enjoy better health in 2014!
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Sorry to create such a disturbance.
      I'm not suicidal, just crazy.
      New meds.
      Soon I shall be....
      Fellow Warrior. Let us know that quicker next time. You had quite a few people really worried.

      And I'm glad your doing better.


      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Even the imaginary. An "ordinary" bad case scenario that most people shrug off and forget, becomes real to me. I fish hook in my grandson's eye for example.
      Or, even something simple. A hurtful statement I made to a friend 30 years ago that they don't even remember, haunts me yet today.
      You aren't alone. A wrong I did to someone years ago, pops back in my head, and if I'm watching the wrong movie...tears well up. Everyone has loads of regrets. Every 50 year old on the planet has tons of bad memories. You just can't let it define who you are now.
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      • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Fellow Warrior. Let us know that quicker next time. You had quite a few people really worried.

        And I'm glad your doing better.




        You aren't alone. A wrong I did to someone years ago, pops back in my head, and if I'm watching the wrong movie...tears well up. Everyone has loads of regrets. Every 50 year old on the planet has tons of bad memories. You just can't let it define who you are now.
        Definitely not alone. Ways I've wronged people or how whoever wronged me and various versions of how I should have responded to different situations certainly play in my thoughts a fair bit.
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      • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Everyone has loads of regrets. Every 50 year old on the planet has tons of bad memories. You just can't let it define who you are now.
        omg - this is so true - life is a journey with many twists and turns and whatever happened before can only define who you are if you let it. For some people holding on to the past feels safe because it's familiar but is it holding you back from living the life you so richly deserve? Forgive yourself - and then get back to living.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Jeez o petez, Larry. What the hell has sanity got to do with anything? Total waste of time and effort. I let that go lots of years ago.....um...........it was about the time that I went broke but life in general got pretty freakin' awesome.

    You're right - take every bit of stuff you've got and get rid of everything you don't need. Start doing what you really want to do instead of what you are "supposed" to do and quit the "stuff rules my life" routine. It will drop you.

    Got grown kids? Tell em they're taking care of themselves, then just take off (with wife if that applies) and town hop for awhile. Just go where your fancy takes you, drop down and grab whatever jobs the local economy has to offer, explore, and then move on when you've seen enough.

    It will get tough sometimes, but as far as I can see it gets tough no matter what -- and those people tied to a lot of stuff are going to get smacked the hardest in the longrun. If you find that it's not the right life for ya, by then you'll know for sure and will never have the "woulda/shoulda" gunking up your head.

    I'll be on FB later if ya wanna chat for a tad.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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    • Profile picture of the author garyv
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Jeez o petez, Larry. What the hell has sanity got to do with anything? Total waste of time and effort. I let that go lots of years ago.....um...........it was about the time that I went broke but life in general got pretty freakin' awesome.

      You're right - take every bit of stuff you've got and get rid of everything you don't need. Start doing what you really want to do instead of what you are "supposed" to do and quit the "stuff rules my life" routine. It will drop you.

      Got grown kids? Tell em they're taking care of themselves, then just take off (with wife if that applies) and town hop for awhile. Just go where your fancy takes you, drop down and grab whatever jobs the local economy has to offer, explore, and then move on when you've seen enough.

      It will get tough sometimes, but as far as I can see it gets tough no matter what -- and those people tied to a lot of stuff are going to get smacked the hardest in the longrun. If you find that it's not the right life for ya, by then you'll know for sure and will never have the "woulda/shoulda" gunking up your head.

      I'll be on FB later if ya wanna chat for a tad.
      I like your approach, and hope to do the same in a few years when the kids are grown.
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    • Profile picture of the author lcombs
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Jeez o petez, Larry. What the hell has sanity got to do with anything? Total waste of time and effort. I let that go lots of years ago.....um...........it was about the time that I went broke but life in general got pretty freakin' awesome.

      You're right - take every bit of stuff you've got and get rid of everything you don't need. Start doing what you really want to do instead of what you are "supposed" to do and quit the "stuff rules my life" routine. It will drop you.

      Got grown kids? Tell em they're taking care of themselves, then just take off (with wife if that applies) and town hop for awhile. Just go where your fancy takes you, drop down and grab whatever jobs the local economy has to offer, explore, and then move on when you've seen enough.

      It will get tough sometimes, but as far as I can see it gets tough no matter what -- and those people tied to a lot of stuff are going to get smacked the hardest in the longrun. If you find that it's not the right life for ya, by then you'll know for sure and will never have the "woulda/shoulda" gunking up your head.

      I'll be on FB later if ya wanna chat for a tad.
      Never been tied to 'stuff'.
      The"woulda/shoulda"? that's a different story.
      To paraphrase you and my therapist; the "woulda/shoulda" bubbles up into my consciousness and, where most people are able to push it back, I can't. Even the imaginary. An "ordinary" bad case scenario that most people shrug off and forget, becomes real to me. I fish hook in my grandson's eye for example.
      Or, even something simple. A hurtful statement I made to a friend 30 years ago that they don't even remember, haunts me yet today.
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        Never been tied to 'stuff'.
        The"woulda/shoulda"? that's a different story.
        To paraphrase you and my therapist; the "woulda/shoulda" bubbles up into my consciousness and, where most people are able to push it back, I can't. Even the imaginary. An "ordinary" bad case scenario that most people shrug off and forget, becomes real to me. I fish hook in my grandson's eye for example.
        Or, even something simple. A hurtful statement I made to a friend 30 years ago that they don't even remember, haunts me yet today.
        Hum........Well then......sounds like you have subconscious coding issue that you need to recode some crap.
        You're creative. When the stuff comes into your mind - build a story around it with a happy ending to it. As far as woulda/shoulda stuff that you can still do......go do it.
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        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
        Beyond the Path

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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          Hum........Well then......sounds like you have subconscious coding issue that you need to recode some crap.
          Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

          5. Recognize that in the end you are the only person on the planet that can help you. You must call on all your internal resources to come to the forefront to assist you in the battles that you face on a daily basis. You are the center of your universe. If you believe in a higher power then you must believe that it resides within you. Don't look for answers outside of yourself. All true power comes from within. While others can offer valuable information in an effort to help us, we must absorb it, process it, evaluate it and then determine if it actually has any benefit to us. If so then we must look for a way to effectively integrate it into our thought process thereby maximizing its effectiveness in helping shape our attitude about life as we march forward...

          My greatest singular achievement in life is having learned how to live with my problems and the immense challenges they create on a daily basis rather than allowing my life to be totally shaped and directed by them. Once I arrived at that juncture I found the freedom to allow myself to use my condition to my advantage. Honestly, I've learned to revel in it. In a way, it gives me an edge that few totally "sane" people will ever possess. There are positive things to be found even in the most negative situations. Start digging through the muck in your brain. There's gold in them thar' hills.
          Or to break down these amazing pieces of advice to the simplest of terms, you just need to tinker with your thinker.

          Heck, I have had to do that often. I have to tell my mind to "Shut Up!" a lot. I've told myself to shut up more than any other person on earth. Then I force myself to think in more positive ways. I'll even have to say those positives out loud so as to be heard above the clatter that my thought processes like to make sometimes. I even tell those thoughts that they are liars or so full of crap they make a barnyard smell sweet in comparison.

          Eventually those thought processes do shut up because "I" can only take so much abuse. :p

          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
            Originally Posted by andybeveridge View Post

            Great reply from Big Frank above. I can't really add to that other than to say this. If you want to chat anytime pm or Skype me. Sometimes just chatting can lift that mood.
            Great insight!

            I could also add, that being perfect 100% of the time isn't necessary, or believing in the Motivational book dogma, namely, if you don't somehow dismiss negative thoughts sufficiently then they will hold you back or trip you!

            Absolute rubbish!!!!!


            Being as positive as possible will make a very negative situation a little easier, and may help you get through it quicker, but ultimately, it is being totally committed to a goal that will get you through!

            Or saying l will get this to work no matter what!

            That means doing the best you can for a certain project, eventhough you have your doubts. My first graphic project failed, (well it failed 3 times) after putting everything l had into it. A lot of people at this point would chuck it in, but someone who is committed would learn from this, and try harder.

            Or see other similar projects that aren't that good, who got accepted and make good money!

            Eventhough my emotions are saying give up, my intelligence says, people are creating ok, designs and are making an income stream, so there is no reason you can't!


            Emotions are a poor benchmark, emotional intelligence is far better!


            Shane
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        • Profile picture of the author lcombs
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          Hum........Well then......sounds like you have subconscious coding issue that you need to recode some crap.
          You're creative. When the stuff comes into your mind - build a story around it with a happy ending to it. As far as woulda/shoulda stuff that you can still do......go do it.
          I just keep trying to find the "Delete" button.
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          • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
            Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

            I just keep trying to find the "Delete" button.
            There isn't one.
            Life is not written in a computer.
            It is drawn on expensive parchment, with expensive ink.

            Mistakes are always visible when the ink is dry, especially to the artist.
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            • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
              Originally Posted by MikeTucker View Post

              There isn't one.
              Life is not written in a computer.
              It is drawn on expensive parchment, with expensive ink.

              Mistakes are always visible when the ink is dry, especially to the artist.
              That is brilliant. As I read that, my mind conjured a vision of an animated movie -- in the style of an ancient Chinese folktale -- in which peoples lives are literally written on scrolls, and a young calligrapher is sent on a mission by a high and mighty personage to find his life scroll and rewrite some things on it.
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          • Profile picture of the author HeySal
            Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

            I just keep trying to find the "Delete" button.
            Good luck with that one, right. I could use one of those myself.

            Serious, though - everything, completely everything that enters our heads (most flows in via subconscious pathways) gets associated with little codeletts that connect all the different departments of our mind -- for example, the sight of a dog will be cross coded in different categories of sight, smell, sound, emotion, and cross-associated throughout your sensory experience - whether it be real experience or artificial (movies, pictures). It all codes as "real" in the subconscious. The reason our minds do this is for survival. It's instinctual, that is.

            Okay - so if you've got weird thoughts cropping up and continuing to crop up - you've got the idea over associated for some reason and you have to rebuild stronger coding on the positive (safe) wiring, and weaken the negative (dangerous) wiring. For some reason the repeating images are being called into your workstation (where conscious thought processing takes place). Subconscious thoughts are always called into the workstation when we actively think about stuff.

            If you have a recurring emotion coding into thoughts - such as guilt, you need to change the codlettes attached to the thoughts associated with that emotion. You can teach yourself to feel differently about those thoughts when they crop up to re-program that codelette. First question the validity of the thought - tell yourself that it's an absurd thought or an inaccurate feeling - then tell yourself a story about the thought to bring in a different emotion each time the thought recurs to recode the thought so it will stop recurring.

            Serious.
            Signature

            Sal
            When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
            Beyond the Path

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      • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        Never been tied to 'stuff'.
        The"woulda/shoulda"? that's a different story.
        To paraphrase you and my therapist; the "woulda/shoulda" bubbles up into my consciousness and, where most people are able to push it back, I can't. Even the imaginary. An "ordinary" bad case scenario that most people shrug off and forget, becomes real to me. I fish hook in my grandson's eye for example.
        Or, even something simple. A hurtful statement I made to a friend 30 years ago that they don't even remember, haunts me yet today.
        Do you need to repeat things a lot- eg reeanact a past even in your head -- carry out rituals just to feel some equilibrium of mind?
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      • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        Sorry to create such a disturbance.
        I'm not suicidal, just crazy.
        New meds.
        Soon I shall be....

        :p:p:p




        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        the "woulda/shoulda" bubbles up into my consciousness and, where most people are able to push it back, I can't. Even the imaginary. An "ordinary" bad case scenario that most people shrug off and forget, becomes real to me..
        "I've had thousands of problems in my life, and most of them
        never actually happened." --attributed to Mark Twain
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        ...A tachyon enters a bar.

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  • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
    Banned
    Mornin' Larry,

    I rarely join this type of discussion as I generally learn more about myself, the world around me and the plight of others by just reading. However, as someone who has been in therapy almost continually for over 40 years, I can only offer you a few bits of what I have deduced over the decades. I hope you'll allow me to share them with you and that you will accept them in the spirit which was intended.

    1. Never look backwards. The good times were not as good as you think they were. They're only as good as you remember them when compared to the bad times, which were also not as bad as you remember them.

    2. Time, alone, does not heal all wounds. It's the insight that you gain over time that allows you to heal.

    3. All you have is the moment you are in and a few hours down the road. Deal with the immediate issues at hand and the path forward in your life will be less rocky and troubling. Yesterday is a cancelled check and tomorrow is nothing more than a promissory note. Today is "cash in hand."

    4. There is no shame in asking for help, but when you do, ask someone qualified to help you. Family and friends regardless of their best intentions and efforts are rarely equipped to do so in any meaningful fashion. It's not just about therapists being qualified professionals, but you'll discover that family and friends try to help by doing most of the talking and a good therapist usually helps more by simply listening. It's an art and a science.

    5. Recognize that in the end you are the only person on the planet that can help you. You must call on all your internal resources to come to the forefront to assist you in the battles that you face on a daily basis. You are the center of your universe. If you believe in a higher power then you must believe that it resides within you. Don't look for answers outside of yourself. All true power comes from within. While others can offer valuable information in an effort to help us, we must absorb it, process it, evaluate it and then determine if it actually has any benefit to us. If so then we must look for a way to effectively integrate it into our thought process thereby maximizing its effectiveness in helping shape our attitude about life as we march forward.

    No real secrets, here. Just some points that you may have lost sight of along the way. In closing, the most important thing I have leaned in life is that the secret to survival, for someone like myself who is profoundly mentally ill, is to learn to cope. My mental illness is never going to go away and after decades of trying various meds I have discovered that they only mask the symptoms and do nothing to treat the genesis of my problems. My greatest singular achievement in life is having learned how to live with my problems and the immense challenges they create on a daily basis rather than allowing my life to be totally shaped and directed by them. Once I arrived at that juncture I found the freedom to allow myself to use my condition to my advantage. Honestly, I've learned to revel in it. In a way, it gives me an edge that few totally "sane" people will ever possess. There are positive things to be found even in the most negative situations. Start digging through the muck in your brain. There's gold in them thar' hills.

    Keep your chin up, hold your head high and never, ever quit the good fight.

    Onward and upward, my friend. You can do it. Good luck on your journey.

    Cheers. - Frank

    P.S. See my signature. It's not just a cute slogan. It's what I truly believe I'm capable of.
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  • Profile picture of the author andybeveridge
    Great reply from Big Frank above. I can't really add to that other than to say this. If you want to chat anytime pm or Skype me. Sometimes just chatting can lift that mood.
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  • Profile picture of the author Defcon1
    Hi there Icombs,
    While searching through the forum I noticed your post, I have read through all the comments, and it is very encouraging to see in this day and age how many people care. I know that you are a complete stranger to me and most of the people on this forum, but reading the responses to your post shows that we are all friends.
    Just remember “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” – Bill Cosby

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  • Profile picture of the author Brady Partridge
    Get yourself to a good naturopath. There are natural remedies for what ails you that don't take the terrible toll that anti-depressants do. And watch lots of TV shows and movies that make you laugh. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.
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    • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
      "Reality! What a constraint!", prefer the daisies myself
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      • Profile picture of the author lcombs
        Originally Posted by hardraysnight View Post

        "Reality! What a constraint!", prefer the daisies myself
        So, you'd rather be pushing up Daisies rather than looking down at the Daisies?

        That's what created all the stir about my condition.
        I meant I was losing control and tired of hanging onto "reality" by my finger tips.

        Unfortunately I worried my friends by sounding like I was suicidal.
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        • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
          Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

          So, you'd rather be pushing up Daisies rather than looking down at the Daisies?

          That's what created all the stir about my condition.
          I meant I was losing control and tired of hanging onto "reality" by my finger tips.

          Unfortunately I worried my friends by sounding like I was suicidal.
          We're all a bit crazy, I've had plenty of those moments myself, then someone told me, look around the world, see what people are doing to some people and realise, the fact is, you've got to be a bit crazy to be happy in such a dog eat dog world.

          Welcome to the club and glad you're back and posting again.
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