"NEVER DO BUSINESS WITH FRIENDS OR FAMILY !!!" .... not ever!!!
I can't believe I've had to go through like 4 situations now with friends and also family to learn this valuable lesson. I mean for many reading this you'll probably do what I did and trust them anyway and then lose a friend or two before you "get it". But maybe some of you might take this to heart.
First 1)......... I was just giving him advice. Good advice too. And very general advice on setting up an internet business. And when he starting making mistakes I tried helping him. I told him ..."do your first website on a shoe string budget, DON'T SPEND A LOT if anything setting it up". But no he screwed himself, he took out a big loan and tried to go big time with no experience. Totally lost the money, the business failed. And then in the end he was stressed and heartbroken and ended up blaming me and another friend who were advising him and I rarely ever spoke to him again after. He wanted nothing to do with us. Why? Simply because we had given him business advice. (why he didn't follow correctly) but still he blamed me and my other friend for it. And again 1 friend lost.
Second Friend)............. I gave him an job at my company. It was a "very attractive package", and he was excited about it. When it came time for him to sign the contract I wrote in (as a safety measure) 1 year contract. Following which he would be evaluated to ensure he was worth what I'd be paying him. So that for some reason ticked him off. I guess he thought he'd be golden for life without having to do any work. But again he got mad, didn't sign, and I never talked to him after that.
Third Friend)............ I gave him an job at my company, we were growing at the time. I felt sorry for him, because he was like my biggest supporter, my biggest fan, and an old childhood friend, and he was down on his luck. So I gave him a job. But then he couldn't do the job he promised to do? What was I to do, pay him for showing up at work and doing nothing? So I let him go with a nice severance package. Again same thing, never spoke to this "friend" again.
So after this like 10 years went by. So I forgot this cardinal rule of NEVER DOING BUSINESS WITH friends or family. So I wanted to help out a relative and his wife. They were very close to me. And they had helped me out in the past. So I figured, okay I'm safe to help them out. So I did, on a verbal agreement only, big mistake. Well like 2 year went by. They hadn't honored any part of their verbal agreement.
So I started asking them about it. They were reluctant to want to do anything. And I can't get into a lot of detail, but they almost renegged on the agreement. Well i shouldn't say that. Half of the agreement they basically have renegged on. The other half which was very black and white they ALMOST RENEGGED ON because I didn't have it in writing with them. It was just a verbal agreement with a very trusted direct family member. So you think you could trust them right? NO DEAD WRONG. And then they even tried to make me feel guilty for asking about it and getting them to commit to it. Talk about insanity.
LIKE IT'S TOTAL FRACKING INSANity!!! OKAY I GET IT, I HONESTLY DO THIS TIME!!!
The Rule is: Never ever do business with friends or family. If they need help, just help them find another way. If the situation is dier then ya maybe a small amount of help knowing you'll likely never get paid back from them. If the situation is not dier, then just be supportive, maybe point them in the right direction. But don't bail them out yourself if you expect them to honor any kind of agreement! Well if it's a small amount that's not a big deal I guess. But anything mid to large size and scope in nature, never ever do it. And if you lend them a bit basically do it under the total understanding that you might NEVER GET REPAID, at least from them. But big deals, no way, not ever! But ya in future, I'm done with them. I want to keep them as friends and family, and that's exactly why I never want to do any kind of business with them. Because if things fail, which sometimes happen, so does the relationship more often than not.
It's often some unknown situations come into play after you've gone into business together. After you've made agreements with the friends or family, things could rapidly change. And then one side or the other might not honor their agreement. Like again, in this recent shananogan I just barely got out of it with half of what was agreed to. And that, only after a TON OF NAGGING and drama. Unbelievable.
I'm pretty sure now I'm done. I'm never ever ever going to do business with a friend or family member, not ever. I'll totally help them in a lot of different ways. And if it's a small amount that too isn't a big deal. But any serious agreements are not to be done.
My gosh the life experiences, trials and tests I've had to learn from. I'm so sick of learning the hard way in life already. I'm trying to be extra careful. But still I get screwed at times. But since they agreed to this I think i can still salvage my relationship with them. But it can weigh heavily on the level of trust one has for another party when these things happen. Talk about insane.
I'm telling you, never do business with friends or family. Unless you hate the person and want to lose them, which is likely what will happen.