Three Reasons to Quit Drinking

13 years ago

The last one? Riffle's wife has the same experience every morning.

And truth be told, so does my wife.

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bizgrower 13 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

The last one? Riffle's wife has the same experience every morning.

And truth be told, so does my wife.

Come on Claude, you're being a little tough on Riffle
there.
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- Claude Whitacre 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by bizgrower
  
  Come on Claude, you're being a little tough on Riffle
  there.
  
  What does not kill a Riffle, makes him stronger.
  
  Riffle can take it. I only pick on people I like and respect.
  
  You have to admit, it was funny.
  
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  Dan Riffle 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  What does not kill a Riffle, makes him stronger.
  
  Riffle can take it. I only pick on people I like and respect.
  
  You have to admit, it was funny.
  
  Now, I don't want to speak for ol' Biz, but I think you might have missed the joke there, Claude.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Now, I don't want to speak for ol' Biz, but I think you might have missed there joke there, Claude.
  
  OK, is the joke that I implied (unconsciously) that my wife also wakes up next to you?
  
  You have to explain it to me. And I want it dripping with sarcasm and droll humor.
  
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Kurt

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

The last one? Riffle's wife has the same experience every morning.

And truth be told, so does my wife.

I don't care if the orangatan was smiling. If I see Claude "come to" after a drunken stupor cuddling with a happy ape, I'm calling PETA!

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Claude Whitacre

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

I don't care if the orangatan was smiling. If I see Claude "come to" after a drunken stupor cuddling with a happy ape, I'm calling PETA!

Kurt; The Monkey told me her name was Rita....not Peta.

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Kurt 13 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Kurt; The Monkey told me her name was Rita....not Peta.

Which explains why Claude's only has this song on his iPod:

Rolling Stones - Monkey Man (Lyrics & Song) -...
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- bizgrower 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  Which explains why Claude's only has this song on his iPod:
  
  Rolling Stones - Monkey Man (Lyrics & Song) - YouTube
  
  Also, he is tweaking the words to "Lovely Rita" a little bit.
  
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  Kurt 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by bizgrower
  
  Also, he is tweaking the words to "Lovely Rita" a little bit.
  
  As long as he's tweaking it and not twerking to it again, I think I can handle it.
  
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Kurt

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Kurt; The Monkey told me her name was Rita....not Peta.

Reason #4 not to drink. Looks like when you're drunk you're just a tad gullible. The orang's name is really Fred, and he's a guy. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

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Richard Van

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Reason #4 not to drink. Looks like when you're drunk you're just a tad gullible. The orang's name is really Fred, and he's a guy. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Nothing wrong with Fred being a male monkey? Did I read that right? :confused:

Wait until Dan finds out Claude has been sleeping with and male Orangutan.

This won't end well.

Won't end well at all.

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Kurt

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Nothing wrong with Fred being a male monkey? Did I read that right? :confused:

Wait until Dan finds out Claude has been sleeping with and male Orangutan.

This won't end well.

Won't end well at all.

That quote was a running joke on Seinfeld that they'd use whenever there were discussing anything related to being gay.

BTW Richard, it almost sounds like you are implying that it would be OK with Claude having sex with a "monkey" (actually, it's an ape) as long as it was female?

Not that there's anything wrong with that -...

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Richard Van 13 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

That quote was a running joke on Seinfeld that they'd use whenever there were discussing anything related to being gay.

Oh good, for a fleeting moment I thought...

Thanks for pointing that out too, shows my lack of watching Seinfeld.
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Claude Whitacre

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Nothing wrong with Fred being a male monkey? Did I read that right? :confused:

Wait until Dan finds out Claude has been sleeping with and male Orangutan.

This won't end well.

Won't end well at all.

I'm not gay!

That orangutan told me his name was Rita! He lied to me, and took advantage of me. The lipstick had me fooled.

But I had no idea it was a Dude Monkey. I'm a victim of circumstance!

I'm a victim of circumstance - YouTube

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Kurt

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I'm not gay!

That orangutan told me his name was Rita! He lied to me, and took advantage of me. The lipstick had me fooled.

But I had no idea it was a Dude Monkey. I'm a victim of circumstance!

I'm a victim of circumstance - YouTube

The old "the monkey slipped me a mickey" excuse? We'll need something more original than that.

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Claude Whitacre

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

The old "the monkey slipped me a mickey" excuse? We'll need something more original than that.

He didn't slip me a Mickey. But it was dark, and he has four hands!

I knew something was up, when I counted five thumbs....but I was in the moment. After I found out it was a male monkey, we had a serious argument..

The make up sex was awesome though.....

Wait..I mean....um.....Riffle....um....not gay....um....promises were made....gifts exchanged.....

OK, I had sex with a male monkey! ..but who hasn't!? Am I right?! Who's with me here?

For the love of God! Someone get me out of this!

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Kurt

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

He didn't slip me a Mickey. But it was dark, and he has four hands!

I knew something was up, when I counted five thumbs....but I was in the moment. After I found out it was a male monkey, we had a serious argument..

The make up sex was awesome though.....

Wait..I mean....um.....Riffle....um....not gay....um....promises were made....gifts exchanged.....

OK, I had sex with a male monkey! ..but who hasn't!? Am I right?! Who's with me here?

For the love of God! Someone get me out of this!

And now for the latest "Any Which Way But Loose" sequel: Claude and Clyde!

In a world filled with trials and tribulations, love, and private relationships,
Claude gives a whole new meaning to the line "Right turn Clyde".
(Not that there's anything wrong with that Richard.)

Right Turn Clyde Compilation - YouTube

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bizgrower

13 years ago

You guys are always funny. x:rolleyes:
(Note there is an x before sarcasm, so I mean
I am being serious. I hate it when I have to
explain my jokes.)

Oh yeah: lol

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duplication

13 years ago

Come on man are you serious?

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JimDucharme

13 years ago

Damn it! I want three good reasons to start drinking! Oh wait, we've got Rob Ford...I'm good.

Regards,
jim

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Dan Riffle 13 years ago

Originally Posted by JimDucharme

Damn it! I want three good reasons to start drinking! Oh wait, we've got Rob Ford...I'm good.

Regards,
jim

Isn't just being Canadian enough?
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- JimDucharme 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Isn't just being Canadian enough?
  
  God help me...it used to be enough!
  
  Regards,
  jim
  
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seomaster5

13 years ago

Hmmm i dont drink but will suggest leave this bad habbit

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Richard Van 13 years ago

Originally Posted by seomaster5

Hmmm i dont drink but will suggest leave this bad habbit

Habit?

In the land you claim to live, we've been brewing alcohol for thousands of years, long before the Romans arrived.

If I enjoy a port after Sunday dinner, or an Irish coffee on special occasions, or perhaps a champagne at a wedding - Are you saying that is a bad habit?

How can someone who drinks alcohol in moderation be considered as someone with a bad habit? That doesn't even qualify as a habit, let alone a bad one.
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Dan Riffle

13 years ago

I'm steering clear of this one.

It's just too easy. (Apparently, like Claude.)

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Claude Whitacre

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I'm steering clear of this one.

It's just too easy. (Apparently, like Claude.)

Can't .....Stop....Myself!

Cannot....Let.....Riffle....have....the ...last ....word......

It's....like...Kryptonite......feel...weak........

Need...my....ego....stroked.......

Tell...me...I'm....pretty........

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bizgrower

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Can't .....Stop....Myself!

Cannot....Let.....Riffle....have....the ...last ....word......

It's....like...Kryptonite......feel...weak........

Need...my....ego....stroked.......

Tell...me...I'm....pretty........

Sal thinks you're pretty.

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