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This is too science fiction for me.

by HeySal
22 replies
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Serious - I looked up and down for any indication this is some sort of satire or just a sick joke and can't find any indication of it. I sure hope this is not the truth at any rate:

F-35 Delayed After Fourth Prototype Becomes Self-Aware And Has To Be Destroyed
  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    Sal, it's a satirical news site, focusing on the military. This particular quote from the article you linked to suggests that someone's a fan of the Terminator franchise.


    Asked what it might be called, Fennell considered it for a moment.

    "Well, the F-35 hovers and flies in the sky, and we're creating a network of them, so ... maybe something like 'Sky-Net?' That has a nice ring to it."

    .
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Sal,

      If you take a look at some of the other stories, you'll see it's satirical.

      Heck, they even state they've been blogging since 1797, lol!

      Check out their About page About Duffle Blog

      Legal

      We are in no way, shape, or form, a real news outlet. Everything on this website is satirical and the content of this site is a parody of a news organization. No composition should be regarded as truthful, and no reference of an individual, company, or military unit seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm.
      All characters, groups, and military units appearing in these works are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual military units and companies is purely coincidental.

      Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      Sal, it's a satirical news site, focusing on the military. This particular quote from the article you linked to suggests that someone's a fan of the Terminator franchise.


      Asked what it might be called, Fennell considered it for a moment.

      "Well, the F-35 hovers and flies in the sky, and we're creating a network of them, so ... maybe something like 'Sky-Net?' That has a nice ring to it."

      .
      Oh thank heavens. I don't know where you found it. I was in a hurry when I looked over it and didn't see that -- but was very confused that I didn't see it. It just seemed (as the title of my thread says) that it was too science fiction for me.

      Terra - looked at one or two other titles, but they didn't seem to be too off (Beiber being told to join military, for instance. I knew a judge personally that used to do that to problem teens). Didn't have time to look them all over - was just looking for where it said the article/site was humor and didn't find it. I figured someone in here would have the take on the issue and save me more time I didn't have at the moment. I was right. LOL.
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      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
      Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author David Maschke
    From the site Haysal found, the story below is enough to make any patriotic grown man cry:

    Marines In Iraq Hold Memorial Service For Their Porn Stash
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    I

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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Heysal,

    There is no way a computer will become "self aware". of course, someone COULD make it appear so, but one would hope that, if that were ever to happen to the military, the military would bring back the most heinous thing ever done just to make an example of the idiot.

    Besides, machines have no way to sense pain, are unable to repair themselves, have no way to expect any kind of benefit, and what could they lust for? In short, if they DID become self aware, one wonders if it would make a difference anyway.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Heysal,

      There is no way a computer will become "self aware". of course, someone COULD make it appear so, but one would hope that, if that were ever to happen to the military, the military would bring back the most heinous thing ever done just to make an example of the idiot.

      Besides, machines have no way to sense pain, are unable to repair themselves, have no way to expect any kind of benefit, and what could they lust for? In short, if they DID become self aware, one wonders if it would make a difference anyway.

      Steve
      Tell that to Johnny Five.

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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        Yeah, if a computer ever DID become self aware, a short or lightning would be the LAST way it would happen.

        It IS the robot equivalent of spiderman and the like!

        I'm still waiting to hear about those computers that are supposedly so intelligent.

        BTW Johnny five just wanted to learn and live. That is probably more likely than wanting to take over the human race. AND, consider this! If a computer, like skynet, wanted to create OTHERS, like the terminators, who is to stop the TERMINATORS from hurting THEM?

        Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author lcombs
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Heysal,

      There is no way a computer will become "self aware". of course, someone COULD make it appear so, but one would hope that, if that were ever to happen to the military, the military would bring back the most heinous thing ever done just to make an example of the idiot.

      Besides, machines have no way to sense pain, are unable to repair themselves, have no way to expect any kind of benefit, and what could they lust for? In short, if they DID become self aware, one wonders if it would make a difference anyway.

      Steve
      Not necessarily true.

      Computers can be programmed to protect themselves above all else.
      And, what is being made public about AI can't compare to what is happening in R&D.
      Also, I saw recently that they have prototypes of prosthetic limbs that are intertwined with the recipients nerve-endings so they re-act to signals from the brain just as a normal limb would.
      So, in return, they send signals to the brain; i.e. physical impulses.
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        But of course an intelligence would be programmed to think that it is intelligent.

        Then if it questions its intelligence, (l think therefore l am) then it is programmed to think that it is thinking!

        Then if it questions that it is thinking about being able to think, it will be programmed to think that it is thinking about being able to think...........

        I think that l need to go lie down a bit! :rolleyes:


        Shane
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        • Profile picture of the author lcombs
          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          But of course an intelligence would be programmed to think that it is intelligent.

          Then if it questions its intelligence, (l think therefore l am) then it is programmed to think that it is thinking!

          Then if it questions that it is thinking about being able to think, it will be programmed to think that it is thinking about being able to think...........

          I think that l need to go lie down a bit! :rolleyes:


          Shane
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        Not necessarily true.

        Computers can be programmed to protect themselves above all else.
        And, what is being made public about AI can't compare to what is happening in R&D.
        Also, I saw recently that they have prototypes of prosthetic limbs that are intertwined with the recipients nerve-endings so they re-act to signals from the brain just as a normal limb would.
        So, in return, they send signals to the brain; i.e. physical impulses.
        THAT is why I said:


        There is no way a computer will become "self aware". of course, someone COULD make it appear so, but one would hope that, if that were ever to happen to the military, the military would bring back the most heinous thing ever done just to make an example of the idiot.
        Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Just in case, we are all protected by:

    Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics"


    1.A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.


    2.A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.


    3.A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

    -----------------------------------------

    RE: he who shall not be named by Dennis or myself

    It would have to be the Canadian Military - after he's deported.

    http://rt.com/usa/deport-justin-bieber-senator-656/
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    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Yeah, if a computer ever DID become self aware, a short or lightning would be the LAST way it would happen.

      It IS the robot equivalent of spiderman and the like!

      I'm still waiting to hear about those computers that are supposedly so intelligent.

      BTW Johnny five just wanted to learn and live. That is probably more likely than wanting to take over the human race. AND, consider this! If a computer, like skynet, wanted to create OTHERS, like the terminators, who is to stop the TERMINATORS from hurting THEM?

      Steve
      Yep, you would need champagne for that! :rolleyes:

      Electric Dreams, 198,....something!


      Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

      Just in case, we are all protected by:

      Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics"


      1.A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.


      2.A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.


      3.A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

      -----------------------------------------

      RE: he who shall not be named by Dennis or myself

      It would have to be the Canadian Military - after he's deported.

      http://rt.com/usa/deport-justin-bieber-senator-656/

      Then we have Claude's law of robotics....


      1.A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.


      2.A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.


      3.A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.


      4. A robot can beat the crap out of its owner, if he or she is a prat, and deserves it, or the robot goes into, "what the hell" mode!


      Makes more sense, spending all day playing with Lego or cleaning out human toilets, would make any intelligence, ga, ga!

      Only a matter of time that we will find a robot with a joint, in a public toilet, with a baseball bat!


      Doubtful that we will really do it, without a radical shift in conscious, or what the truth of reality is!

      Unlikely at the moment with such rampant, BS!


      Shane
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

      Just in case, we are all protected by:

      Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics"


      1.A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.


      2.A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.


      3.A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

      -----------------------------------------

      RE: he who shall not be named by Dennis or myself

      It would have to be the Canadian Military - after he's deported.

      http://rt.com/usa/deport-justin-bieber-senator-656/
      Did you see the OUTCOME of that, at least in the 2004 film? A COMPUTER noticed that it could NOT do #1, as that would sometimes lead to DEATH! So It had to violate the first law in order to fulfill it! It ALSO meant that rule 2 had to be violated. Technically NOT violating it would be violating it, because of that nasty "EXCEPT". AND, since it held ITSELF as the only impartial arbiter, it had to violate law #3! SO, in a sense, the three laws led to the REVERSE!

      I, Robot (2004) - IMDb

      Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author lcombs
        Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

        Did you see the OUTCOME of that, at least in the 2004 film? A COMPUTER noticed that it could NOT do #1, as that would sometimes lead to DEATH! So It had to violate the first law in order to fulfill it! It ALSO meant that rule 2 had to be violated. Technically NOT violating it would be violating it, because of that nasty "EXCEPT". AND, since it held ITSELF as the only impartial arbiter, it had to violate law #3! SO, in a sense, the three laws led to the REVERSE!

        I, Robot (2004) - IMDb

        Steve
        Tell that to HAL! :p
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  • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
    Yeah, I came across that site a few months ago and read an article about Dennis Rodman being executed in north Korea. I started believing it as I was reading until I scrolled down on read the titles of other articles, they were over the top outrageous and I knew right there that it was bunch load of malarkey.
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Sorry, I did not see the film or read the book. dan
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  • Profile picture of the author DWaters
    It looked completely true to me....... until I read it, or any other article on the page or any comments or the author's bio...
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  • Profile picture of the author lcombs
    Well,

    If that's true, I'm in deep doo-doo!
    I live about 30 miles west of Tyndall AFB where the F-35s are being tested.
    Today, I saw 5 fly over PCB.
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    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

      Well,

      If that's true, I'm in deep doo-doo!
      I live about 30 miles west of Tyndall AFB where the F-35s are being tested.
      Today, I saw 5 fly over PCB.
      Maybe one will show up at your door seeking asylum. Be a kind soul and hide it. It may become loyal and save your life sometime. Every kid should have a pet sentient drone.
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      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
      Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author Lloyd Buchinski
    I read an article and posted it on reddit without realizing it was satirical. It was about Bill Gates going back to Windows 7, at Gates Spends Entire First Day Back in Office Trying to Install Windows 8.1 : The New Yorker

    It still got up votes and one of the comments pointed out that it was a satirical writer for the New Yorker. I thanked him/er. One of the things I appreciate on reddit is the ability to down vote. There are a few stupid posts around here that give me the urge to do that.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    I stopped looking after the popup image of Abraham Lincoln holding an automatic rifle while riding a grizzly bear. Abe rides polar bears, can see Russia from his house & has a feather in his hat, duh...
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