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Funny Pick Up Lines, well today I almost dropped to the floor laughing at a local convenience store, a pretty girl was getting coffee and this guy comes over and asks her how she likes her eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized-(I couldn't stop laughing) she didn't get it.
Anyway got me thinking, have you ever used any funny pick up lines in the past and did they work?
#funny pick up lines #pick up lines
  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    I once lost a bet to some friends and the loser had to do something embarrassing in public. They had me say to a car full of young women stopped at a red light, "Excuse me, have you seen any water buffalo?" One of the women responded, "We're water buffalo. Hop in!" That wasn't the response my friends were expecting. They usually got responses like, "Ew! Get away, creep!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      I've never seen a pick up line work. I've seen conversations work, and I've seen women jump into bed with little provocation...but it wasn't the line. They decided before you said anything.
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      • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I've never seen a pick up line work. I've seen conversations work, and I've seen women jump into bed with little provocation...but it wasn't the line. They decided before you said anything.
        In my experience, attracting women was directly related to my confidence level. In human males, confidence is like invisible peacock feathers that women can see.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

          In my experience, attracting women was directly related to my confidence level. In human males, confidence is like invisible peacock feathers that women can see.
          Confidence...if you seem popular....if you seem like the dominate male in the room....if you dress well.....if you look healthy....if you seem kind.....it all adds up.

          A phenomenon I've experienced, when in front of a room speaking...
          A few times, a woman has approached me showing interest.

          Me. 80 pounds overweight, bald, shlumpy, old Claude. And I knew it wasn't for any reason other than I was the one on stage. Speaker groupies.

          I also got it a lot when I sold in people's homes. More than you would think. This was years ago. There is something about a stranger coming into your home....You're dressed well, articulate, and they are seeing you at your best.

          But if it were a different situation, it would never occur to them.

          I knew an older man (maybe 60) who attracted younger women because he spoke with a French accent. It was real, and he told me that he was aware that it played a huge factor. I trained a great salesman that had a Russian accent. You could see that some women were attracted to him. And part of it was his accent.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Overheard during a recent speed dating meetup:

    "Hello Fred. My name's Claude. Is that a banana in your pocket..."
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      Overheard during a recent speed dating meetup:

      "Hello Fred. My name's Claude. Is that a banana in your pocket..."
      Fred; "Why, Yes..that's a fresh banana in my pocket. How did you know?"


      Kurt; I think Fred is a strange name for a girl. I've never heard....hey! wait a darn minute here!

      You are out of control, mister...Out of control!
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      • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
        Claude,
        I think Fred is a strange name for a girl.
        You've clearly never watched Angel.


        Paul
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

          Claude,You've clearly never watched Angel.


          Paul
          I actually thought about that. Now she's on Person Of Interest.

          I've used several pickup lines that worked very well. For example;

          "I have your insulin. What will you give me to get it back?"
          "I will give you $500 to have sex with me. No, I'm not a cop"
          "Have sex with me, and I promise to release your family"
          "So, how long have you worked at this brothel?"
          "Promise to go out with me, and I'll take off the handcuffs"

          See? It's all technique. I know what women want. It's usually the key to the exit.
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          • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
            I have a mathematician friend who gets a lot of mileage with lines about "grading on the curves. You get a B+."

            Waits for a place where it fits in the conversation to say it. He is so clearly being deliberately schlocky and parodied that no-one is ever offended.
            I actually thought about that. Now she's on Person Of Interest.
            "Root" is a much better role for her.
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          • Profile picture of the author Joe Stewart
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            • Profile picture of the author KASEllc
              I won over my lovely wife by using what I now consider a cheesy line. It wasn't so much 28 years ago. I stood next to her at an office party and in an elevated voice I said:

              "Okay, okay, you can have my phone number. PLEASE stop harassing me."

              She giggled and we've been together ever since.
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          • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
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            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            I actually thought about that. Now she's on Person Of Interest.

            I've used several pickup lines that worked very well. For example;

            "I have your insulin. What will you give me to get it back?"
            "I will give you $500 to have sex with me. No, I'm not a cop"
            "Have sex with me, and I promise to release your family"
            "So, how long have you worked at this brothel?"
            "Promise to go out with me, and I'll take off the handcuffs"

            See? It's all technique. I know what women want. It's usually the key to the exit.
            smooth ... real smooth
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
              I actually thought about that. Now she's on Person Of Interest.

              I've used several pickup lines that worked very well. For example;

              "I have your insulin. What will you give me to get it back?"
              "I will give you $500 to have sex with me. No, I'm not a cop"
              "Have sex with me, and I promise to release your family"
              "So, how long have you worked at this brothel?"
              "Promise to go out with me, and I'll take off the handcuffs"

              See? It's all technique. I know what women want. It's usually the key to the exit.


              Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

              smooth ... real smooth
              Really? You really think so? I thought they were just silly. but if you really think they will work, I'll certainly give them a try.
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              • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
                Banned
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

                I've used several pickup lines that worked very well. For example;

                "I have your insulin. What will you give me to get it back?"
                "I will give you $500 to have sex with me. No, I'm not a cop"
                "Have sex with me, and I promise to release your family"
                "So, how long have you worked at this brothel?"
                "Promise to go out with me, and I'll take off the handcuffs"

                See? It's all technique. I know what women want. It's usually the key to the exit.

                Really? You really think so? I thought they were just silly. but if you really think they will work, I'll certainly give them a try.
                Here's another one you can add to your collection.
                "Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van"
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  • He must have meant 'Frederica.'
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I've heard some really strange things used as pick up lines. +

    One thrown at me that actually initiated response was "did it hurt". Of course, I answered "did what hurt". He said "when you fell from heaven". groan.

    Once at a sports bar that had a football game playing - "Hey babe, what's your favorite sport?"
    Got that one handled -- "Track. Wish you'd make a few out of here".

    And the one all time loser pick up line that I was thrown in WY by some inbred idiot absolutely horrified me. "I'd crawl on my hands and knees up hill for ten miles over broken glass just to suck the dick that f***ed you.":confused::confused:
    Really? REALLY? What the hell was he thinking? I found out later I wasn't the only one he'd thrown that one out to and in every circumstance the receiver was absolutely stunned and completely disgusted. Makes you wonder how many times he used that line before he figured out that it wasn't workin' for him. Holy cow.
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  • "You must work at Subway, because you just gave me a foot-long!"
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Some retarded ones I've gotten recently are:

      You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pickup line. :rolleyes:

      If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? :rolleyes:

      You're so hot you must've started global warming. :rolleyes:

      Seriously, where do they come up with this lame stuff?

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author KimW
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Some retarded ones I've gotten recently are:

        You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pickup line. :rolleyes:

        If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? :rolleyes:

        You're so hot you must've started global warming. :rolleyes:

        Seriously, where do they come up with this lame stuff?

        Terra

        My guess is HERE
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by KimW View Post

          My guess is HERE
          OMG! They have websites for that crap? Yikes! LOL!

          Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
          Originally Posted by KimW View Post

          My guess is HERE
          Yeah, those are pretty cheesy, but I thought this one was funny...

          Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

          I was at a dinner once with my mom, my sister, my brother-in-law, my mom's boss, his wife, and his wife's sister. At one point the conversation turned to babies, and then to medication my mom's boss' wife was taking after having recently given birth. My sister asked something about it, and my mom's boss's wife's sister said, "They look like my birth control pills." Then she look at me and smiled.

          I was too naïve to realize I was being hit on. Dumb farm boy.
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          • Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

            Yeah, those are pretty cheesy, but I thought this one was funny...

            Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
            I hope you never used this one, bro! The poor ladies would get alcohol poisoning.
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

            Yeah, those are pretty cheesy, but I thought this one was funny...
            Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
            Every time I say that, they say something like "It's take more than that. Give me two hundred dollars".

            Then I say "Two hundred? I might as well hire a hooker"

            And then she says "I am a hooker"

            And I say "Do you normally charge $200?"

            And she says "No. I normally charge a hundred dollars. But...well, I've seen you".


            This actually happens to me every week.
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            • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Every time I say that, they say something like "It's take more than that. Give me two hundred dollars".

              Then I say "Two hundred? I might as well hire a hooker"

              And then she says "I am a hooker"

              And I say "Do you normally charge $200?"

              And she says "No. I normally charge a hundred dollars. But...well, I've seen you".


              This actually happens to me every week.
              Shhhh. It's supposed to stay in Vegas.
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              • Profile picture of the author Kay King
                Lefty Lucy
                I always thought it was "lefty loosey"...who knew.
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                • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
                  Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                  How about for all the "handy men" who know the right way to screw, we call them Righty Tighty and Lefty Lucy. (Get it? )
                  Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

                  I always thought it was "lefty loosey"...who knew.
                  And I always thought it was "lefty loosie" ...I've learned so much in this thread. I could probably pick up a girl now, especially with the technique Suzanne just revealed. See ya later, I have to go buy a van. :rolleyes:
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                  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                    Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

                    I always thought it was "lefty loosey"...who knew.
                    Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                    And I always thought it was "lefty loosie" ...I've learned so much in this thread. I could probably pick up a girl now, especially with the technique Suzanne just revealed. See ya later, I have to go buy a van. :rolleyes:
                    That's the joke.

                    Since we're talking about a female breast, "Lucy" seems more appropriate than "loosey".
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    LOL Kim. My first thought when I read Terra's question was FB.
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  • Profile picture of the author seomaster5
    lolz ha ha ha ha yes once i was working in the office at late night and my PA came to me she said i want you....then pause for a while I said yes what you want??? She was looking at me like full passion she was crazy then she said the same I want you Argh that was dame irritating i was numb what happened to her she came close to me and said i want you to I replied TOOOOO what? She said i want you to drop me at home lolllllllzzz you remind me that lady again and i am laughing while typing. HA HA HA
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    One I remember:

    "Hey, are you the kind of person who can take a sincere compliment?"
    "Sure ..."
    "Me too, you go first!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      In human males, confidence is like invisible peacock feathers that women can see.
      So true - and arrogance smells like burning feathers:p

      The best pick up line I've ever heard:

      I'd had a great day - sold a huge property and was feeling good. But - I had ended the day in downtown Atlanta in rush hour so I stopped off at a watering hole to wait it out before driving home.

      I was sitting alone not paying any attention to anyone around me - and a voice said "You look like the happiest person in the room - can I sit with you?"

      I looked up to find a fine male specimen smiling at me - and within a few minutes we were making up stories about others in the room (based on their facial expressions) and laughing out loud.

      We spent some good time together over the next couple of years....and he always swore it "wasn't a pickup line...really".
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        So true - and arrogance smells like burning feathers:p

        The best pick up line I've ever heard:

        I'd had a great day - sold a huge property and was feeling good. But - I had ended the day in downtown Atlanta in rush hour so I stopped off at a watering hole to wait it out before driving home.

        I was sitting alone not paying any attention to anyone around me - and a voice said "You look like the happiest person in the room - can I sit with you?"

        I looked up to find a fine male specimen smiling at me - and within a few minutes we were making up stories about others in the room (based on their facial expressions) and laughing out loud.

        We spent some good time together over the next couple of years....and he always swore it "wasn't a pickup line...really".
        I remember that.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          I wasn't going to name names....oh well....
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          Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world will change forever for that one dog.

          I'm going to work on being less condescending
          (Condescending means to talk down to people)
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  • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
    One I have loved over the years is from My Blue Heaven.

    Steve Martin: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section.
    Carol Kane: Why is that?
    Steve Martin: Because you could melt all this stuff.

    Yeah, it's corny. But it was really charming too, especially the way he delivered the punchline. And Carol's reaction was priceless.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      As some of you know, I was offered a management position for a local company and I took it. Well, I have to wear a company shirt with the company's name embroidered on it. It is supposed to be situated high on the left side but because I'm so short and petite, mine sits a couple inches lower. (use your imagination here)

      So anyway, I had a customer ask me this morning if he could read my shirt in Braille! The Schmuck!!

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        So anyway, I had a customer ask me this morning if he could read my shirt in Braille! The Schmuck!!

        Terra

        Were his hands cold?
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          ask me this morning if he could read my shirt in Braille!
          It depends - can he do his job with broken fingers?
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          Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world will change forever for that one dog.

          I'm going to work on being less condescending
          (Condescending means to talk down to people)
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          Were his hands cold?
          Daniel Riffle!

          I DID NOT give him permission!

          I know I said to use your imagination, but don't you think you took it just a little too far?

          Aww Geez! With you around here, I'm going to be forced to say the word breast!!

          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            Daniel Riffle!

            I DID NOT give him permission!

            I know I said to use your imagination, but don't you think you took it just a little too far?

            Aww Geez! With you around here, I'm going to be forced to say the word breast!!

            Terra

            Man, his hands must have been freezing! You wouldn't be so grumpy otherwise.

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            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

              Man, his hands must have been freezing! You wouldn't be so grumpy otherwise.



              Uggh! You are so annoying!

              Terra
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              • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post



                Uggh! You are so annoying!

                Terra
                I'm annoying, but you run around with Braille shirts on, teasing blind men?!
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                • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                  I'm annoying, but you run around with Braille shirts on, teasing blind men?!

                  Hahaha!

                  Now if that were true, don't you think I'd be stuffing my brazier with hand warmers in this frigid weather? Hello?? :rolleyes::p

                  Terra
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                  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                    Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                    Hahaha!

                    Now if that were true, don't you think I'd be stuffing my brazier with hand warmers in this frigid weather? Hello?? :rolleyes::p

                    Terra
                    I thought that was the whole point of cleavage...
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                    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                      I thought that was the whole point of cleavage...


                      Just, just,

                      Only a savage would try to ravage my cleavage, so just leave-age it alone!


                      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        As some of you know, I was offered a management position for a local company and I took it. Well, I have to wear a company shirt with the company's name embroidered on it. It is supposed to be situated high on the left side but because I'm so short and petite, mine sits a couple inches lower. (use your imagination here)

        Terra
        Terra; Ok, so far...you are telling us that you are short, petite, and we should use our imagination. I'm a little old for such a direct come on, but please continue.

        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Daniel Riffle!
        I'm going to be forced to say the word breast!!

        Terra
        Terra; In all fairness, it isn't nice to taunt us with all this Braille, touching, breast talk.

        Let's try to keep it clean. You have Dan all in a lather. This discussion is the closest he's come to actual sex, in over a month.

        In fact, the only reason he hasn't responded to this post yet, is that it's hard for him to type with just his left hand. :rolleyes:

        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Hahaha!

        Now if that were true, don't you think I'd be stuffing my brazier with hand warmers in this frigid weather? Hello?? :rolleyes::p

        Terra
        OK, Terra! You keep leading us on with all these promises of bras, breasts, and warm hands. You don't sound frigid to me. I'll be back in ten minutes.


        Dan; Yup, like in a shotglass.
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          Terra; Ok, so far...you are telling us that you are short, petite, and we should use our imagination. I'm a little old for such a direct come on, but please continue.
          You want come on? You got come on, Big Boy!

          Come on over here and say that to my face and see what happens to yours!


          Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          Terra; Ok, so far...you are telling us that you are short, petite, and we should use our imagination. I'm a little old for such a direct come on, but please continue.


          Terra; In all fairness, it isn't nice to taunt us with all this Braille, touching, breast talk.

          Let's try to keep it clean. You have Dan all in a lather. This discussion is the closest he's come to actual sex, in over a month.

          In fact, the only reason he hasn't responded to this post yet, is that it's hard for him to type with just his left hand.



          OK, Terra! You keep leading us on with all these promises of bras, breasts, and warm hands. You don't sound frigid to me. I'll be back in ten minutes.
          Claude,

          I honestly have no words except maybe...

          No, I shouldn't say it...

          What the heck? Say hello to Rosy!


          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            Claude,

            I honestly have no words except maybe...

            No, I shouldn't say it...

            What the heck? Say hello to Rosy!


            Terra
            Terra; This is not a joke.
            A lady friend of mine told me once that she had the perfect girl for me (when I was single). She made me buy her dinner before she told me her name. She finally said "Rosy", and I just didn't get it. I kept after her to tell me more. I mean it was several hours..and she couldn't continue... she finally said "Don't you get it? Rosy Palm, you big dope!".
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            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Terra; This is not a joke.
              A lady friend of mine told me once that she had the perfect girl for me (when I was single). She made me buy her dinner before she told me her name. She finally said "Rosy", and I just didn't get it. I kept after her to tell me more. I mean it was several hours..and she couldn't continue... she finally said "Don't you get it? Rosy Palm, you big dope!".




              Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
      Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

      One I have loved over the years is from My Blue Heaven.

      Steve Martin: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section.
      Carol Kane: Why is that?
      Steve Martin: Because you could melt all this stuff.

      Yeah, it's corny. But it was really charming too, especially the way he delivered the punchline. And Carol's reaction was priceless.
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    You all are a bunch of boobs.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

      As some of you know, I was offered a management position for a local company and I took it. Well, I have to wear a company shirt with the company's name embroidered on it. It is supposed to be situated high on the left side but because I'm so short and petite, mine sits a couple inches lower. (use your imagination here)

      So anyway, I had a customer ask me this morning if he could read my shirt in Braille! The Schmuck!!

      Terra
      Hmm... would it have been better if he asked what you named the other one? :rolleyes:
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        Hmm... would it have been better if he asked what you named the other one? :rolleyes:
        What is it with you men?

        Hubby just got home from work and I told him about the braille comment and he busted out laughing! He thought it was funnier than heck. :rolleyes:

        I just don't get it...


        Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
          Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic View Post

          I hope you never used this one, bro! The poor ladies would get alcohol poisoning.
          This coming from a guy whose best asset is apparently the soles of his feet. :rolleyes:


          Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

          What is it with you men?

          Hubby just got home from work and I told him about the braille comment and he busted out laughing! He thought it was funnier than heck. :rolleyes:

          I just don't get it...


          Terra
          You'd better ask hubby to explain that to you, I'm far too much of a gentleman.
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          • Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

            This coming from a guy whose best asset is apparently the soles of his feet. :rolleyes:
            You'd be surprised by the number of fetishists out there.
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            • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
              Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic View Post

              You'd be surprised by the number of fetishists out there.
              Perhaps so . . . and I'd like to keep it that way.
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              • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                A long time ago in a galaxy far away. My friends and I were eying up some girls in a bar.

                We egged one of our friends to go and chat them up. He approached, said something, shortly he returned without any joy.

                What did you say we said. He said.. (are you ready for this.)

                "I see you've been looking at me"

                Lets say he was never allowed to forget this amazing pickup line.
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                • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                  Bad pickup lines:

                  I was looking for the most attractive girl in the room and you came second.

                  Hi I'm Claude and this is my friend Riffle.

                  Hi I'm Riffle and this is my friend Claude.

                  Hi I'm Shane, would you like to come back to my place and see my Martian enhancements.

                  And the one I use. hi, my names John Merrick and I'm really good in the sack. Until I take it off that is.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

          What is it with you men?

          Hubby just got home from work and I told him about the braille comment and he busted out laughing! He thought it was funnier than heck. :rolleyes:

          I just don't get it...


          Terra
          You should have him read this whole thread. Maybe it's because we're two year olds at heart....but this stuff is hilarious to most men.

          I show this thread to my wife, and she just says "Oh dear" and walks away.

          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          Hmm... would it have been better if he asked what you named the other one? :rolleyes:
          Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

          Added later; I told my wife the "what did you name the other one?" thing (we both wear shirts with our store name on them). She said "Do you know how many times I've heard that in my life? A thousand times. And every guy thinks he's the first one that's said it."

          And then I whimpered, put my tail between my legs, and slinked away.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        Hmm... would it have been better if he asked what you named the other one? :rolleyes:
        How about for all the "handy men" who know the right way to screw, we call them Righty Tighty and Lefty Lucy. (Get it? )
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        • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

          How about for all the "handy men" who know the right way to screw, we call them Righty Tighty and Lefty Lucy. (Get it? )
          The "R" rated version of the Red/Green show?
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Signature

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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Aww Jeez! :rolleyes:

      Well, it actually doesn't sound so bad all put together in a song like that, lol!


      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      You should have him read this whole thread. Maybe it's because we're two year olds at heart....but this stuff is hilarious to most men.

      I show this thread to my wife, and she just says "Oh dear" and walks away.



      Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
      Ahh, I think I'm getting it now...kind of like laughing at flatulence jokes, songs and whatnot.

      Do Not ask me to pull your finger!


      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post


        Do Not ask me to pull your finger!


        Terra
        Unfortunately for Claude (and his wife), that's not his finger.
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        If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          Unfortunately for Claude (and his wife), that's not his finger.
          Unfortunately, it is my finger.
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      • Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Aww Jeez! :rolleyes:

        Well, it actually doesn't sound so bad all put together in a song like that, lol!




        Ahh, I think I'm getting it now...kind of like laughing at flatulence jokes, songs and whatnot.

        Do Not ask me to pull your finger!


        Terra
        Want to pull my toes?
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic View Post

          Want to pull my toes?
          Uhh, that would be a no. I'd much rather pull Claude's finger than your toe.

          I don't have a foot fetish nor am I a Hopeless Toemantic.


          Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author craigslist
    Are you a wrench? Because everytime you come near me my nuts tighten up!
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    • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
      Originally Posted by craigslist View Post

      Are you a wrench? Because everytime you come near me my nuts tighten up!
      Careful. If you're in a noisy bar, she might think you said something other than "wrench".
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    For the tech playas out there
    "you turn my software into hardware"
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      "Hi, I'm a middle aged guy that lives with his Mom. Wanna go out?"

      "Hi. I'm looking for a girl that has good credit, because I need a co-signer to buy a car. Wanna go out?"

      "Hi. We live near each other, and so would you like to go out? I like to date locally"

      "I'm looking for a nice girl, not one of the super attractive ones. Want to go out?"

      "I'd rather go out with you, than the most attractive girl here".

      "Why don't we go out. We can lose weight together"

      "You look like a nice, caring girl. Do you believe in mercy dates?"

      "I'm not like all the other guys, that are looking for an attractive girl. Can you cook? Do you have a car?"

      "Let's go out. I like older women".

      "Hey Buddy...Oh, I'm sorry...I thought you were a man"

      "Well, it's 2AM, and we're the last two people in the bar. Wanna go out?"

      "My friend told me I lack self esteem. So I thought I'd start at the bottom and work my way up. Wanna go out?"

      "I see you have a black eye. I can hit harder than that. Wanna go out?"
      (that one kind of makes me sad just typing it)
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    I think Sue and Claude are going to JV and corner the
    pick up market.
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  • This one's all about context. Do it in the right way, and she'll think you're hysterically funny:

    "You have beautiful eyes. Can I hold them?"
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      I heard a new one today...

      Is your left eye okay because you've been lookin' right all day! :rolleyes:


      Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      I actually used this a few times.
      I walk up to a girl and say "That guy over there thinks you're cute. Would you like me to introduce you?"

      It takes the focus off you, and gets her talking. If she is interested in you at all, the conversation will turn that way. And if she isn't, she can't reject you.

      I teach that in my new book Best Pickup Lines From Pick Up Gurus Who Have Never Had A Girlfriend.
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