things to do before die?

A Ghost Story

The spirit of Claude Whitacre sat beside and gazed at his beloved wife as she lapped up the latest episode of Downton Abbey. It had been six months since the massive coronary had taken him. The stress of working, speaking and policing the Warrior Forum's off topic section had taken it's toll.

He was still a little miffed that his demise had taken place at a seminar he was speaking at. No one noticed for 15 minutes, they just thought he was leaning forward to study his notes, only when someone looked from the side did they noticed that as he had fallen face down onto the lectern and two sharp pens sticking up from their holders had poked his eyes out!

Claude's thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. His wife reached for the remote and the tv went blank. Claude floated out behind her into the hall as she answered the door. There, framed in the doorway was the unmistakable figure of Dan Riffle. Standing erect in his wedge shoes he cut quite a figure for someone only 5 feet one tall.

The smell of cheap Dollar General aftershave began to permeate the hallway making Mrs Claude recoil a little. Dan had a slick Elvis Presley hairdo, was wearing an orange crevat around his neck and a white shirt nearly open to the waist and sported an imitation chest hair wig that he had purchased earlier from Wal-Mart. In his hands he held a big bunch of daffodils he had stolen from a nearby neighbors garden. Outside, his old Volkswagen Beetle sat by the curb, it's rust glinting in the sunlight

Hey toots, he said, I know it's only been 6 months but on the few occasions we met I noticed the signs, the lingering stares, the sensual demeanor you showed when I was around. How's about you sell that little old store of yours and lets hightail it out of here to the Caribbean.

Before Mrs Claude had time to respond a large, glass covered picture of Claude's wedding left the mantle and sailed across the room and into the hall towards Riffle, he ducked in time and it shattered outside in the front yard. Before Dan could make comment the cupboard under the stairs swung violently open and out came the biggest Dyson Ball Vacuum Cleaner you have ever seen, unplugged, it roared into life and began hurtling down the hallway towards him. That was enough for Dan, he turned and fled. Reaching his car, he grabbed the door handle and it crumbled in his hands, fortunately the window was open so he reached inside to get the door open. As he scrambled to get his key into the ignition the car began to shake violently. He sat there gripped with fear, his hair having already turned white, and was that car seat a little wet all of a sudden.

Suddenly, the shaking stopped. Silence. Then the writing began to appear on the inside of the wind-shield in blood red! Those immortal words: BLAH...BLAH...BLAH!

Dan let out a blood curdling sissy scream, jammed his foot on the accelerator and the car lurched off down the street at its top speed of 45 miles an hour.

Shane Tagiscom, long distance truck driver was feeling weary. He had been up half the night photo-shopping white fluffy bunny rabbits into his collection of Martian landscape pictures. As he pulled out from the side road he had no time to stop as Dan's little Beetle plowed into the side of him. A big ball of fire lit up the sky as the little car exploded.

Dan felt himself catapulted from his body. almost immediately he was hurtling down a long dark tunnel with a beautiful white light at the end, as he drew closer he began to make out the pearly white gates, at least there's afterlife he thought, and it looks like I'm going to the right place. Just as he was about to enter the light his progress was halted as his face came into contact with a pudgy pink fist! As he hurtled back down the tunnel towards the deep red glow of The Other Place, he recalled seeing a gold ring on one of the fingers with the initals.... C.W.

The End

An excerpt from my upcoming collection of ghost stories book. One Call Haunting