The sanity paradox

HN

Banned 12 years ago

Probably true.

I'd also say wise people know how little they know, while the fools think they know everything.

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HeySal

12 years ago

I dunno, HP. I'm 100% sane and I don't believe that.

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tagiscom 12 years ago

I am not going to answer this question on the grounds that l might incriminate myself!
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barbling

12 years ago

Given how my kids are turning out, pass the insanity coffee.

The best thing is to know oneself well enough to recognize one's own weirdness... and turn that into a benefit.

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Alexa Smith Banned 12 years ago

It reminds me of the town where the (male) barber shaves all and only the men who don't shave themselves: who shaves the barber?
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Hopeless Bromantic

12 years ago

Originally Posted by barbling

Given how my kids are turning out, pass the insanity coffee.

The best thing is to know oneself well enough to recognize one's own weirdness... and turn that into a benefit.

IMO, kids make every parent insane.

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bizgrower

12 years ago

True. And that's why they keep doing the same things over and over as per the other definition of insanity.

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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic

Heard this from a friend of mine a few years ago. The more forum posts I read, the more believable it gets.

All normal adults question their sanity once in a while. Only the truly crazy are sure that they are always 100% sane.

Thoughts?

It's true often enough to be accepted. But lots of people with mental problems know they have a problem. And, although I never question my own sanity, I question my motives, and whether I'm right or not.

And what's normal?

I think the statement is something you would hear, and smile about....without giving it much thought.

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tagiscom

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It's true often enough to be accepted. But lots of people with mental problems know they have a problem. And, although I never question my own sanity, I question my motives, and whether I'm right or not.

And what's normal?

I think the statement is something you would hear, and smile about....without giving it much thought.

An outspoken sociopath, shouldn't question his sanity, others should do that for him!

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Claude Whitacre 12 years ago

Originally Posted by tagiscom

An outspoken sociopath, shouldn't question his sanity, others should do that for him!

I just wanted to take this moment to tell you..

"Fluffy Bunny Activist" Is pure genius.
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ThomM

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It's true often enough to be accepted. But lots of people with mental problems know they have a problem. And, although I never question my own sanity, I question my motives, and whether I'm right or not.

And what's normal?

I think the statement is something you would hear, and smile about....without giving it much thought.

I know I'm bat shit crazy, always have been always will be

I think normal is just what you are comfortable doing.
For example it's normal for me to get up around 9am drink some coffee and listen to music. For someone else that could be abnormal.

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Hopeless Bromantic

12 years ago

Originally Posted by ThomM

I know I'm bat shit crazy, always have been always will be

I think normal is just what you are comfortable doing.
For example it's normal for me to get up around 9am drink some coffee and listen to music. For someone else that could be abnormal.

I'd say that what someone is comfortable doing is "personally normal" - to them - but it may not be "socially normal."

OTOH, a person who is socially normal in every single aspect probably doesn't exist.

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HeySal

12 years ago

I saw a post on Facebook once. A little girl is asking her mother what "normal" is.
The mother responds "that's just a setting on the clothes drier".

I think that's pretty accurate.

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MissTerraK 12 years ago

Terra
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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

I saw a post on Facebook once. A little girl is asking her mother what "normal" is.
The mother responds "that's just a setting on the clothes drier".

I think that's pretty accurate.

Sal; What's "Crazy", anyway?

It's a matter of degrees. Is it a malfunctioning brain? Warped perceptions? Belief in the absurd? Emotional instability? Plain ignorance? Lack of risk aversion?

What one group thinks is perfectly normal, another group sees as bat-shyte crazy

I have my own opinion, but it's just a point of view....

For example, as I was typing this, I got a call from an angry customer. (Thank goodness, this is rare). She raised her voice, and nothing I was going to do, would calm her down.

After I hung up, I thought "What a crazy woman" (I'm paraphrasing myself)

But she was probably thinking "What's wrong with that guy?! Doesn't he care about how I feel? It's like all he thinks about is money! That's what's wrong with this country today! And he sounded like a real cold hearted jerk. He's crazy if he thinks he's heard the last of me!"

For example, I tend to equate emotional outbursts as a sign of mental instability. But it's just because I'm not an emotional person. To many people, emotional outbursts just show passion, and that you care. It's an interesting world.

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Hopeless Bromantic

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

For example, I tend to equate emotional outbursts as a sign of mental instability. But it's just because I'm not an emotional person. To many people, emotional outbursts just show passion, and that you care. It's an interesting world.

Would you trust someone who continuously appeared to be quiet and calm? Doesn't it tend to be that kind of person who "snaps" one day?

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bizgrower 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic

Would you trust someone who continuously appeared to be quiet and calm? Doesn't it tend to be that kind of person who "snaps" one day?

Distasteful, mythical stereotyping.
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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic

Would you trust someone who continuously appeared to be quiet and calm? Doesn't it tend to be that kind of person who "snaps" one day?

Some people are just calm. My wife is calm. She's calm, because she's intelligent, plans what she does....and has a fantastic husband (she keeps telling me)

Not everyone yells. It's probably been 20 years since my wife has heard me raise my voice in anger. Neither of us would ever consider throwing anything (as part of a tantrum).

But I had an employee who had a wife that constantly....constantly berated him in public.
Everyone tried to ignore it. I privately finally asked him how he puts up with it. He had no idea what I was talking about. He just thought it was communication.

I know there are families where everyone yells at everyone else. To me, that's insanity..and I can't be around it. That doesn't mean they are bad people...just not fun for me to be around.

Calmness is great. The friends I have that exhibit calmness, are the most substantial. It just takes a lot to ruffle their feathers.

When I'm in a group, the calmest person tends to be one of the following;
Someone new, who is just very shy...(Ok granted, they may also be a serial killer)
Or the smartest person in the group.

Calmness is re-assuring. Calmness is leadership.

In my office, I have a plaque on the wall. It says;
"Self Control Is Strength
Practice Is Mastery
Calmness Is Power"

A very wise man once said that.

Originally Posted by bizgrower

Distasteful, mythical stereotyping.

I don't know why it's "distasteful". But it is a mythical stereotype. Like "Opposites attract". It sounds good when said. But really, would you want to marry someone who is the opposite of you?

Are Atheists attracted to Evangelicals?
Are MENSA members attracted to the feeble minded?
Are the rich attracted to the poor? (or vice versa?)
Are fit people attracted to slobs?
Are analytical people attracted to the scatterbrained?
Are people with 50 piercings, tattoos, and a mohawk...attracted to the prim and proper?
Are Conservatives attracted to Liberals?
Are principled people attracted to con men, thieves, cheats?
Are humorless people attracted to comedians? (That's a big one in my home)

There are plenty of things that we say in normal conversation, that...if thought about...are simply not true. Some people are calm by nature. To me, laughing means that you are bright enough to get the humor. Yelling means that you have run out of ideas. I don't know if you can yell and think at the same time. I wouldn't think so.
These are opinions, not facts.

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ThomM

12 years ago

Not everyone yells. It's probably been 20 years since my wife has heard me raise my voice in anger. Neither of us would ever consider throwing anything (as part of a tantrum).

My last wife and the kids would get scared to death whenever I raised my voice. The kids still do.
I've always channeled any anger into my drum playing so me raising my voice is as rare as water on the moon.
One funny moment was when I was having a heated discussion with my oldest step-daughter. We where standing in her bedroom doorway and she was screaming at me. She preceded to slam the door in my face. The problem was the door hinges where screwed into a thin piece of lath so when she slammed the door the hinges pulled loose. I simply grabbed the door and set it against the wall, but to her it looked like I ripped it off it's hinges. Hardly ever had a problem with her after that.

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Richard Van

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

What one group thinks is perfectly normal, another group sees as bat-shyte crazy

Someone once explained to me that a witch doctor in some part of Africa is revered for his/her ability to talk to the spirits etc.

Over here you get pumped full of drugs and labelled a paranoid schizophrenic.

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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Someone once explained to me that a witch doctor in some part of Africa is revered for his/her ability to talk to the spirits etc.

Over here you get pumped full of drugs and labelled a paranoid schizophrenic.

Or you start a thread on the forum.

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candoit2

12 years ago

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tagiscom 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I just wanted to take this moment to tell you..

"Fluffy Bunny Activist" Is pure genius.

Thanks, Claude, it took me a good 5 minutes of soul searching, heavy research, and nail biting contemplation to come up with that one!

But Lanfears, avatar quote, helped.

Someone has to protect our fluffy martian neighbors, well if they exist, we do!
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bizgrower

12 years ago

Very eloquent reply, Claude.

I'm very busy with the upcoming Holiday and wish I had the time
to write something half as fine.

I found the post by Hopeless distasteful because I am in that calm, quiet group,
and do not care for the automatic view that I'm likely to snap.

As you pointed out, people like us can be leaders and reassuring.

Throughout my life, I have diffused many, many situations which may have
become much worse if I was not calm. As a doorman, I was often the only
one working with 200 to 300 people in the bar. As an example, there was a
local who often had to be asked to leave the bar. Verbally only, I never had
a problem getting him out. On my night off, the other doormen did not handle
him well and it took all three to get him out.

I would much rather have the sheriff who gets the facts before he shoots,
than the guy who is "outgoing" and "charismatic" with poor to not so good judgment.

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Dennis Gaskill

12 years ago

Would you trust someone who continuously appeared to be quiet and calm? Doesn't it tend to be that kind of person who "snaps" one day?

I'm calm by nature. Add in military training, fire fighting training, security training, first aid and CPR training - all of which teach you to remain calm - and you'll find it takes a whole lot to ruffle my feathers in person.

If I were to snap though, I'd go after you just so you could say you were right.

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Hopeless Bromantic

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill

I'm calm by nature. Add in military training, fire fighting training, security training, first aid and CPR training - all of which teach you to remain calm - and you'll find it takes a whole lot to ruffle my feathers in person.

If I were to snap though, I'd go after you just so you could say you were right.

You and bizgrower got the cause and effect backwards. Obviously most people who are naturally calm don't snap. It's just that people who DO snap are so often perceived as having been so calm and quiet.

To the original point, though, my comment was about people who were constantly calm. People whose mood never appears to vary. It's hard for me not to wonder what they're repressing. I rarely yell, but I can and I have. We generally learn when it's appropriate to express our moods as we're growing up, and usually we learn that either extreme is not a good idea.

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Claude Whitacre

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic

You and bizgrower got the cause and effect backwards. Obviously most people who are naturally calm don't snap. It's just that people who DO snap are so often perceived as having been so calm and quiet.

To the original point, though, my comment was about people who were constantly calm. People whose mood never appears to vary. It's hard for me not to wonder what they're repressing. I rarely yell, but I can and I have. We generally learn when it's appropriate to express our moods as we're growing up, and usually we learn that either extreme is not a good idea.

Sometimes it's cultural. Sometimes it's what's tolerated in the person's home.

And, sometimes...the person is a sociopath. Meaning that they don't get angry, because they don't connect with other people. To some sociopaths, watching people have emotional outbursts (even when directed at them) is like watching mice in a maze...interesting, but not eliciting an emotional response.

I grew up with a mother that yelled...a lot. And all my aunts and uncles (on her side) also yelled, a lot. They got angry, felt the world was against them...and vented often. Screaming and threatening were a way of life.

I hated it. I grew up hating drama of any kind. In the movies, when you see a mother, yelling at her teenage boys? that's so unattractive to me. I see it as insanity. But I know my viewpoint is extreme, and not really fair.

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Dennis Gaskill 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Hopeless Bromantic

You and bizgrower got the cause and effect backwards.

I don't see a lot of "cause and effect" in the post I replied to...

Would you trust someone who continuously appeared to be quiet and calm? Doesn't it tend to be that kind of person who "snaps" one day?
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HeySal

12 years ago

Naturally calm and the type that snap aren't the same creatures. The quiet ones that finally let go are usually pretty unstable all along, it's just their reticence is misleading.

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