5 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
5 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

The ******* Operator From Hell...

by Mr Bill
4 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
    • |
Anyone else a fan? I was exposed as I was studying MCSE which (looking back on it) was pretty irresponsible of the guy who sent me the link. I became (almost instantly) addicted.

******* Operator From Hell Official Archive
  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Been a big fan of TBOFH and his sidekick the PFY for many years.
    Signature
    Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
    So that blind people can hate them as well.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9553209].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mr Bill
    lol, I use the term PFY a lot - people look at me funny.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9553211].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author barbling
    Love BOFH! Along with (dare I mention)

    https://github.com/idleberg/ASCII-Co.../src/part1.txt

    Ah, memories....
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9553867].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    PLEASE don't do this! I have ENOUGH trouble when I get addicted to The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology , etc...! I am STILL wondering if I should make a contribution to The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology .

    I see some article like:

    So I'm in my office again, reconfiguring the router when the phone rings. Somehow I knew this was going to happen. I'm obviously going to have to change my number (and Operator) YET AGAIN.

    I pick it up.

    "Start talking."

    "Is this the network engineer?"

    Sigh.

    "Yes it is," I say, resigned to my fate.

    I check the phone - there's no corresponding name on caller ID, which can only mean one thing.

    "You're new here aren't you?" I ask.

    "Yeah, how did you know?"

    "Lucky guess. Tell me, how did you get my number?"

    "Oh, I just called the helpdesk."

    How helpful of them..

    "Anyway, I was just ringing to tell you that you've got a problem with the network."

    "No," I answer, "no problems here."

    "You do have a problem - I can't get my PC to work."

    "Let's just look at this logically," I say. "You can't get your PC to work, so I have a problem."

    "With the network, yes. It's probably a loose connector somewhere."

    Of all the things that REALLY piss me off, the 'loose connector' and 'loose wire' theories TOP the queue. He obviously thinks that my day consists of sitting in a comms room somewhere 'wiggling loose wires' to improve network services. Or that I designed the network by calling up a cable supplier and ordering several drums of CAT-5 and asking for it to be "scattered about the building in a spider web shape".

    Next thing I know he'll be telling me that maybe one of the 'bulbs' burnt out on my FDDI ring.

    "Hey, maybe one of the bulbs.."

    A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

    "No, it's not that! You've kicked out your patch cable," I say.

    "I can't have!" he backpeddles.

    "You've kicked out your patch cable."

    "No, all the wires are securely plugged into the back of my PC..."

    "You've kicked out your patch cable."

    "...and they all go to the box in the flo.. Oh, hey! I kicked out the patch cable!"

    "Of course you did. It happens all the time. It's because the twisted pairs in your cable get tangled, shortening the effective length of the cable. It's just like the telephone cord when it gets tangled."

    "Oh right! I think I read something about that.." he burbles. What a plonker.

    "Is there anything I can do to stop it?"

    "Well, all you need to do is unplug it from the floor socket and give the cable a really really hard yank. Then all the twisted pairs come into line."

    "But won't that damage my machine?"

    "Heck no! The connector at the other end is made to pop out when the strain might damage the cable!"

    "OK, here goes..."

    CRASH!!

    "HEY! I PULLED MY MACHINE ONTO THE FLOOR AND A BOARD'S RIPPED OUT OF THE BACK OF IT!"

    "Oh well, you obviously pulled too hard," I say calmly.

    "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? IT'S MY FIRST DAY!"

    "I don't know," I reply. "It sounds to me like a hardware problem. I'm just a network engineer.."

    "But..."

    I hang up. It's time to have stern words with the helpdesk. First step, into the comms room to 'wiggle their wires around' and drop out their network. Step two, set their call-forwarding so all their calls go through to the boss.

    I pick a floor at random and remote boot both the main and redundant routers.

    REQUEST LINES ARE NOW OPEN!

    Scant seconds later I hear the boss's phone ringing. I'll give the boss about 10 minutes of irate users, then wander round and suggest the helpdesk staff need a lesson on what's funny and what's not. Forwarding your phone to the boss at network failure ISN'T funny. Helpdesk personnel investigating the job market IS.

    My thoughts are interrupted by a call on the Red 'Bat' Phone. It's obviously the boss.

    "Is this the network engineer?"

    "It certainly is, how can I be of help?" I crawl.

    "Ah, you've got a problem with your network."

    "Have we?" (grease grease).

    "Yeah, I guess it's probably a loose wire somewhere.."

    Sigh.

    He'll have to go..
    It is JUST funny enough to be true! I HAVE been in places where you could easily kick out the cable, etc.... HECK, I have accidentally done that myself, though I ALWAYS check such connections and the like BEFORE calling the help desk. But I know people that don't DARE to check such things. They are like the guys that call 911 because they didn't get fries from mcdonalds.

    I usually get a guy that assumes I know NOTHING and s/he goes by a stupid script, and/or accuses ME of creating the problem, even if half the company, or all the company, has the same problem.

    I love the idea of telling the guy to just pull, and then saying it is a hardware problem though!

    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9554300].message }}

Trending Topics