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Please, Critique My Ad

by Brotherly
2 replies
Here is a Method That is Helping Many Businesses Take Control of Their Finances.

With this amazing accounting software reporting feature, managers and business owners are able to keep their fingers on their company's financial pulse at all times, thereby reducing costs by as much as 40%, maintaining greater control over expenditures, increasing their output by 10-15 times at any given time, and avoiding making decisions that could cost them thousands if not millions of naira -- all in just a few clicks.


Interested?


Call Isaiah now on +2348023189838 or send a mail to info@KitemarkSolutions.

Visit our site Kitemark Solutions for more information/
#critique
  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Originally Posted by Brotherly View Post

    Here is a Method That is Helping Many Businesses Take Control of Their Finances.

    With this amazing accounting software reporting feature, managers and business owners are able to keep their fingers on their company’s financial pulse at all times, thereby reducing costs by as much as 40%, maintaining greater control over expenditures, increasing their output by 10-15 times at any given time, and avoiding making decisions that could cost them thousands if not millions of naira — all in just a few clicks.


    Interested?


    Call Isaiah now on +2348023189838 or send a mail to info@KitemarkSolutions.

    Visit our site Kitemark Solutions for more information/
    its kind of lacking punch. there is nothing here saying "Oh I need to call right now"

    Want to Take Control of Your Business Finances?

    Using our unique accounting software reporting feature, you can save hundreds of thousands if not millions of naira in just a few clicks. The ability to track in real time your business' financials gives business owners and managers the ability to make not only better decisions, but better financial decisions. Gain greater control of expenditures and decrease overall costs by as much as 40%.

    Contact us today for a free financial consultation.

    Call Isaiah now on +2348023189838 or send a mail to info@KitemarkSolutions.
    Signature
    Success is an ACT not an idea
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  • Profile picture of the author adam westrop
    Surely the big benefit needs to be in the headline, e.g. The 40% cost savings or increased output 10-15 times. I would personally go with the 40% cost savings in the headline, easier for someone to translate in an instant (and you only probably have an instant where you have their attention before they decide to read on or not)
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